Dexter: The Angel of Death

Dexter: "I understand the urge to end someone's life, but what is this fascination with ending the world?"

Several readers mentioned in the comments section last week that Travis was acting alone and hallucinating the existence of Professor Gellar. (I hadn't thought of that at all. It's probably obvious that I don't read other people's reviews.) Interestingly, nothing in this episode contradicted this theory. And if it's true, Dexter just let a serial killer go free to kill again. (I was saying no, Dexter! Don't let him go!)

So I found myself doing a lot of pros and cons. Was there anything that suggested that Gellar was actually there? He did drink from a cup at the bar, and he kept on talking when he was alone and Travis had left the room. The third Doomsday victim was a pretty brunette, Gellar's type.

But there was a lot more that suggested Travis was acting alone. No one interacted with Gellar again. Gellar showed a total lack of surprise and/or fear at seeing his photo on the front page of the paper. His being so morally rigid and peeping at Travis with Erin seems out of character for a man who seduced a string of pretty graduate students. Many people who have art history degrees are also artists, so Travis might have done those paintings himself. And it's the page numbers out of Travis's Bible that are being inserted into the victims, which seems unlikely if Travis isn't doing the killing.

At the very least, the idea that Gellar is an imaginary father figure like Harry makes me a lot more intrigued with the ongoing religious killer plot.

Deb's new living arrangements seem a bit convenient. Gorgeous, private little houses with ocean views are usually extremely pricey, even with a discount for a murder/suicide on the premises. And I'm oddly disappointed that Deb isn't living with Dexter and Harrison any more. She's moved in and out, what? three times since the beginning of the series? and it was even her apartment for awhile. It just feels like Deb belongs there. Couldn't they make the second living room into a third bedroom? Couldn't she decorate her new office at work, move the desk around, tack up a tacky poster on the wall? Oh, well.

Quinn was less nasty toward Deb, but he was still acting like an idiot. He just slept with Gellar's former T.A. and she is undoubtedly going to be important to the case. How does Quinn manage to shoot himself in the foot in so many situations? Maybe he was never a serious threat to Dexter, after all. He's certainly no Doakes. The clever Mike Anderson could be another Doakes, though, since Dexter's brilliance is already on Mike's radar. And shame on me for not thinking of the possibility sooner.

Why is (or was) Sam pursuing friendship with Dexter? Maybe Sam needs a friend who isn't a recovering felon. If only he knew, huh? I was bummed, but not surprised, that Brother Sam got shot. Especially after that nice evening he and Dexter spent shooting the breeze. Dexter was bitching about the visit, but he was relaxed enough with Sam to tell him about his mother. That's pretty big. I hope Sam lives. And that he doesn't realize who is avenging his shooting, as Dexter is bound to do.

At the beginning of the episode, when Dexter was examining the huge, white wings, there was a shot angled to make him look very much like a traditional angel. (Much like this season's billboard ads.) In the opener, Dexter talked about angels deciding everything that happened, both light and dark. It could be argued that Dexter is much like one of those hard-core Old Testament angels that Travis and/or Gellar apparently believe themselves to be. Dexter avenges the deaths of innocents and saves other innocents from being victimized, doesn't he?

Bits and pieces:

-- Masuka did get rid of Ryan and now has a new computer wizard intern named Green. Good for Masuka. Unfortunately, that prosthetic is still out there, and I bet it's going to turn up.

-- Anderson is married. And he has a low opinion of Miami Metro. He'd better rethink that. (The low opinion part, not the married part.)

-- Professor Porter, Gellar's former honey, was played by Mariana Klaveno, who was a very convincing evil vampire on True Blood awhile back. What was her tramp stamp? The director made sure we saw it, so I'm sure it's important.

-- "The Alpha and Omega of the Enesserette." Okay.

-- Shows how naive I am. I didn't know there was such a thing as a porn scrubber.

-- I liked that Jamie was so protective of Harrison. Deb didn't even register that she was exposing Harrison to gory crime photos.

-- Dexter is always beautifully shot, but the sequence in the car was striking, with Dexter and Travis conversing in the rear view mirror. The graffiti behind Travis after Dexter left him off looked like the snakes from the first murder.

-- The "University of Tallahassee" was California State University, Long Beach. A lot of people think Dexter is filmed in Florida, but mostly it's filmed in Los Angeles. and the surrounding area.

Quotes:

Deb: "Let's find this jizzbucket Gellar."
Gotta love how Deb runs a briefing.

Quinn: "The engagement ring?"
Deb: "Fuck me in the ear, I never gave it back to you."

Dexter: "Worst docent ever."

Dexter: "Defacing a Bible. I'm probably breaking a rule."

Deb: "I'm a mess. Maybe I do need to go to therapy."
Dexter: "No more than me."
Deb: "Am I that fucked up?"
Deb, have you ever actually heard of tact?

Another good episode, which makes it three out of four page numbers cut out of the Book of Revelation,

Billie

All of my Dexter reviews are archived here.

... Read full post

Community: Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps

“Trick-or-Dean!”

Imagine, for your entertainment, the concept of a door. You try to unlock it with a key of imagination but someone has changed the locks since the divorce so you kick it open instead, hurting your foot in the process. You limp through and beyond is another dimension: a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind, a dimension where the lights flicker all week because the Dean can't afford to get someone in to fix them. You're moving into a land of both time travelling policemen and illiterate vampires, of horror movie references and surreal humour; you've just crossed over into... The Twilight Zone The Community Halloween Special!!!!

A college campus. It is the setting of an episode. An episode not as good as the previous one (what could be?) or even last season's zombie invasion episode. Yet it is an episode superior to other episodes from this season. But not by much. It is an episode much like The Simpsons' annual 'Treehouse of Terror', notably the classic ones where the characters actually sat around telling each other scary stories while Marge advised everyone not to watch (she was ignored).

The stories here are told by seven friends. Friends who have gathered from a pre-party party. Unbeknownst to them, one of these seven people has homicidal tendencies. It could be Annie. It might be Pierce. It's more than likely someone just Britta'd the test result and is overreacting. Only by telling ghost stories, ghost stories that reveal much about the person telling then, will they be able to determined who is crazy and who... is not! But it may turn out to be the answer to a question they will have wished they had not asked in the first place.

Britta Perry's Urban Legend

Once upon a time there was a couple in a car in the woods making out or something. Suddenly the radio announces that an escaped convict from the asylum has escaped and he is mental and on the loose and stuff. An escaped convict who has a thingy for a hand, a hook thing where his hand should be (you know what I mean). The man steps out of the car and is stabbed by the escaped convict with his hook hand thingy. It's a classic scary story, badly told by someone who screws up so much lately her name has now become a verb. Why do the writers insist on making Britta a joke? Please, stop it.

Abed Nadir Presents Cabin in the Woods

A simple log cabin made of earth and wood, where lived a country boy named Johnny B. Goode, who never ever learned to read or write so well, but he could play a guitar just like ringing a bell. But Johnny has since moved out since making it big on American Idol, and now rents out the cabin to young couples who want to be intimate with each other in safety because this isn't the '50s. Using his extensive knowledge of slasher film clichés, Abed details what people who make rationally and logical decisions (like him) would do in a situation where an escaped convict from the asylum is mental and on the loose and stuff. In this horror story, no one dies... until it has been eeeeaaarrrned!!!!

Annie Edison's Tutorial with the Vampire

It is well know that all vampire stories are about sex. Even the one that aren't about sex are about sex. Count von Count, for example, is just one great big metaphor for man's carnal desires and need for numerical excellence. Annie's story is all about sex, primarily her passionate desire to have sex with Jeff (or possibly eat him). But it was also about her desire to change Jeff and make him a better person, the type of person she wouldn't feel gross about having sex with (or possibly serving for lunch).

Tory Barns' Love Story (A Jerry Bruckheimer Production)

Maverick and Goose (AKA, Tory and Abed, entirely up to you which is which) crash their plane in the woods. They seek shelter at the cabin of a old, crazy, racist mad scientist. For reasons know only to mad scientist, he stitches them together, creating one all powerful super being; Trobed. A super-being who likes sandwiches and playing Mr Potato Head with mad scientist. This story served as a good example of why Britta and Troy must never couple up. No woman should ever come between Troy and Abed. They were meant to be together. Together they are more awesome than they could ever be apart.

Pierce Hawthorne's Boyz in the Cabin

A horror story only in the sense it plants in one's mind the image of Pierce having sex with Britta, Shirley and Annie. Excuse me while I go and bleach my brain.

The Gospel According to Shirley

Shirley gets her preacher on and delivers a sermon about the eternal battle between good and evil. And about how drugs are bad, m'kay. The end of days has come at last. The earth is plagued by swarm of locusts and tornadoes of frogs. It's almost exactly like living in New York. All the good christians (like Shirley) have been raptured up to heaven, leaving all the cool people behind to be tortured by Dean Devil and Pilates. Dang, but at least they have all those drugs to ease the pain.

Jeff Winger's Nightmare During Christmas

The group gets together for Christmas at Johnny B. Goode's cabin. Suddenly, the hook man attacks. But before he can stab anyone with his hook hand thingy, Jeff uses his healing powers to find out why he wants to kill people. Turns out, he's really Chang, and he's really scared and he just wants a hug. So they all have a big group hug. For once I think Pierce is right. That was the gayest crap I have ever seen in my life. Major fail, Winger.

Notes and Quotes

--I think this episode once again demonstrates that Community works best with as little Chang as possible.

--So according to the non-Britta'd tests, Abed is the sanest member of the group while Pierce is the most crazy. Makes sense, really.

--I just knew Tory and Abed would dress up as Inspector Spacetime and his nameless assistant.

Britta: “Jeff, can I have a quick conversation with you?”
Jeff: “Doubtful, but I support the dream.”

Jeff: “No, no, no, I'm no sociopath, I know exactly what I am doing. I'm just a guy that doesn't like taking tests, doing work or get yelled at. So if you think about it, I'm the sanest person here.”
--Boooooooo!!!

Gangster Abed: “This a home invasion, you jive mutha.”

Devil Dean: (brandishing a chainsaw) "Gay marriage! Gay marriage!"

Britta: “Should we check it out?”
Abed: “No. we should call 911 on my fully-charged cellphone. Lock all the doors, and then stand back to back in the middle of the room holding knives.”

Annie: “This is crazy. We’re getting freaked out because it’s Halloween. We just need to settle down.”
(Lights go out, everyone freaks out and grabs a weapon to defend themselves)
Annie: “Stay back, psychos! Or I’ll slit your throats and bathe in your blood!”

Britta: “That makes sense, I'm turned on by how logical you are.”
Abed: “I'm comforted by your shiny hair and facial symmetry.”

Troy: “I want to go to the dance. I heard the Dean’s got free taco meat from the army.”
--Err, I would skip that one if I were you.

Jeff: “Stifle your slackened maw you drained and tainted bitch dog.”

Shirley: “AND HE CHAINSAWED THEM TO BITS! And then he put them back together, AND THEN HE CHAINSAWED THEM AGAIN!”

Coming right after one of the very best Community episodes, 'Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps' was always going it suffer. And it probably wasn't a smart idea for them to do another anthology-type episode so quickly. This could've been a fantastic episode but it just never came alive for me. I think it would've worked a lot better if they'd ditched the 'which member of the group is a homicidal maniac' plotline and focused more on making the individual stories more special. Of the seven stories, Abed's was by far the best, and a great showcase for Danny Pudi's talents (where the feck is his Emmy?). Maybe next season (hey, I live in hope) they could do an entire episode of just Abed telling different horror stories. That would be awesome.

Three out of four escaped convicts from the asylum who have escaped and are mental and on the loose and stuff. ... Read full post

Ringer: She's Ruining Everything

"What the hell am I doing?"

Judging by episode two, the main thrust of Ringer will be Bridget slowly attempting to fix the lives of people that Siobhan presumably took for granted. And she's got a pretty big rap-sheet so far: She cheats on her husband, who seems like a great guy who at one point truly loved his wife. She betrays her best friend, who's clearly vulnerable and erratic. And she seemingly trashes her catty stepdaughter at every opportunity, instead of offering the guidance and support that she appears to be crying out for. Bridget improved as a character here, too. She's still frustratingly vacant at points, but I like that she decided to stick around and try and make a positive difference. There was no way that wasn't going to happen, but whatever.

Jaime Murray continues to play vampy British ladies, and she added some spark to the ensemble. I'm interested to see how her relationship with Bridget/Siobhan will unfold, considering they're obviously familiar enough with each other for her to make such controversial comments about her pregnancy. I also really like Ioan Gruffudd's performance so far, as he's adding some shades to a character that on paper probably isn't all that interesting.

If there's one issue I had with this episode, it's the pacing. I love a good 'hidden dead body' story as much as the next guy, but the amount of times the camera cut back to the trunk became almost comedic. At the same time, I kind of wish the show would increase the trash factor. It's too silly right now to work as straight drama, and it would be a hell of a lot more fun if the writers allowed Ringer to become a little more soapy and melodramatic. I had my hopes up when Bridget reached for the buzz-saw, but then nothing came of that...

She's Ruining Everything had a tricky job, in setting up the formula for how Ringer will work week-to-week. It's still not perfect by any means, but damn if I'm ever absorbed and eager to find out what's actually happening...

Notables

- I found the soundtrack really obtrusive this week. And considering the 'noir thriller' vibe the EP's have said they're trying to achieve, a lot of the songs are trademark CW pop tracks. Ugh.

- Party Planner: Per your suggestion, I went with a Titanic vibe: antiquated elegance, steamer trunks, violin, gin and tonics. It'll feel very Euro and travel-y and make people want to hand over their money.

- Gemma: She is a financial genius, wouldn't trust anyone else with my money. Still though, she's a snake in Louboutins.

- Siobhan: She's ruining everything. It has to get done. Sooner rather than later.

- [Transmission notice: I wrote these reviews straight after watching each episode, so there's a lot of theorizing that may not make a whole lot of sense in retrospect.]

Previously posted at Unwelcome Commentary. ... Read full post

All that and BRAIIINsss too: A Few Thoughts About Zombies

"Zombies are the new vampires, didn't you know that?"
- Arlene, True Blood

I have been thinking about Zombies a lot lately... a whole lot, almost a bit obsessively. Let me be clear, I am not too concerned about the dead rising tomorrow, but the dead sure have been shambling around here quite a bit lately, and I am not altogether unconcerned.

*warning, all sorts of spoilers for stuff ahead, here's a hint, the dead start walking around*

The Rise of the Dead
(see, the heading alone gives it away)

Okay, so Zombies are scary and creepy, but so what, so are corporate executives (with apologies to zombies for the comparison). How did they become the monster of our times? I think it's because they are the perfect monster for an industrial and internet world. They are about the force of a billion or so things working against you. They don't care about you but are perfectly willing to destroy you all the same. Contrast them with vampires (which they would have been indistinguishable from 150 years ago). The thing is that vampirism is tempting in a transgressive sort of way, and the victims are in many (maybe most) cases seen as at least partially complicit.

Lucy is not a random victim, attacked by mere accident, you understand? No. She is a willing recruit, a breathless follower, a wanton follower. I dare say, a devoted disciple. She is the Devil's concubine! - Van Helsing, Bram Stoker's Dracula

There aren't any (or not many) willing recruits to the ranks of the zombies. Consider this quote from Zombieland about a victim:

In those moments where you're not quite sure if the undead are really dead, dead, don't get all stingy with your bullets. I mean, one more clean shot to the head, and this lady could have avoided becoming a human Happy Meal. Woulda... coulda... shoulda.

If our monsters reflect our fears, zombies are about being packed into cities with millions of others and trying to figure out why bad things are happening to us. Here are some great zombie movies, books, series, stories which could form a primer for understanding the modern dead. They can be divided into three groups: old school zombies, modern dread and the new normal, with just maybe a new phase out on the horizon.

Old school zombies begin and end with George Romero. He's still out there making his zombie movies today. He sets the tone and it's fair to say that if you make a zombie movie today, the assumption is that you are working with "Romero rules" (slow moving, human munching, dispatched with a shot to the head) until proven otherwise.

Night of the Living Dead (1968)

"It has been established that persons who have recently died have been returning to life and committing acts of murder. A widespread investigation of funeral homes, morgues, and hospitals has concluded that the unburied dead have been returning to life and seeking human victims. It's hard for us here to be reporting this to you, but it does seem to be a fact."

The modern zombie era begins in a cemetery in Pennsylvania in 1968. It's not even immediately obvious that there is a problem until the foolish characters in that lonely graveyard start to suggest that the shambling figure in the distance is coming. Coming for them! And they have been coming for us ever since. It established the rules, the relentlessness and the hopelessness which has been the hallmark of all subsequent zombie tales.

Dawn of the Dead (1978)

"This isn't the Republicans versus the Democrats, where we're in a hole economically or... or we're in another war. This is more crucial than that. This is down to the line, folks, this is down to the line. There can be no more divisions among the living!"

I personally have always found this movie, the original zombie mall-crawl, a bit pedantic and overrated, but I am in the very small minority with that opinion. Generally viewed as the best zombie movie ever made, it realized George Romero's vision of the zombie plague as social commentary about a society that deserves to get eaten by zombies.

Romero keeps making his zombie movies but sadly they seem, well, a little lifeless anymore. The nihilism of the past has softened a bit, but the didactic social commentary just keeps getting stronger. There are still some great moments (the death of the villain in Land of the Dead at the hands of a gas station attendant zombie comes to mind) but the times have passed Romero by.

It only gets Worse

Modern dread is starker than the Romero vision. Its about the pervasive (and likely accurate) sense of doom that hangs over society in the 21st century. SARS, Katrina, terrorism, even the economy and joblessness seem beyond our control and ultimately the best we can hope for is to save ourselves, and maybe our friends and family. It is a post-apocalyptic vision in the middle of daily lives. Two movies capture this pervasive dread perfectly:

28 Days Later (2002)

He was full of plans. Have you got any plans, Jim? Do you want us to find a cure and save the world or just fall in love and fuck? Plans are pointless. Staying alive's as good as it gets.

Beyond the fact that it has the best introduction to the end of the world ever (which The Walking Dead shamelessly cribs from), what really makes this a masterpiece is the cause of the zombie-apocalypse. Its uncontrolled rage brought on by our own stupidity. This metaphor gets at a big part of what makes the 21st century zombie movie, because it focuses not on moral failings per se but on the overwhelming nature of the problem. There is definitely social commentary, but it's mostly about small people swept away by disaster.

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

How do you think your God will judge you? Well friends, now we know. When there is no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth.

Actually in this version, they sprint the earth, but that's a minor point. This is easily the most underrated zombie movie of recent years. It had the dubious "advantage" of being compared to the original, but there's a particularly good quote in both that illustrate how things have changed.

1978 version:

What are they doing? Why do they come here?

Stephen: Some kind of instinct. Memory, of what they used to do. This was an important place in their lives.

2004 version:

Why are they coming here?

Kenneth: Memory, maybe. Instinct. Maybe they're coming for us.

The difference is subtle. In 1978, they are still coming to the mall because that's what the soulless continue to do even after death. Trust me; in 2004 they are coming for us.

Finally, I can't leave this version without mentioning the opening credits set to Johnny Cash's "The Man Comes Around." If you haven't seen it, you are truly missing a masterpiece of creepiness.

Traffic, Job Loss, and Zombies

But then something strange happened to this sense of overwhelming dread that pervaded zombie movies, old and new, in the early 21st century. Zombies wove their ways into our lives and essentially became part of the "New Normal."

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

"He really believed, that were it not for the inferiority of her connections, he should be in some danger of falling in love, and were it not for his considerable skill in the deadly arts, that he should be in danger of being bested by hers--for never had he seen a lady more gifted in the ways of vanquishing the undead."

Many would dismiss this book (and soon to be movie) as silly gimmickry, but I think it represents the total ubiquity of the dead in our lives. The book weaves together the Jane Austen classic with a tale of zombie attack (and also ninjas, but that's a different essay altogether). It makes the point, perhaps accidentally, that zombies (or the existential threat they represent) can safely be present in virtually any story. My only real complaint is: not enough zombies!

Shaun of the Dead

Just look at the face: it's vacant, with a hint of sadness. Like a drunk who's lost a bet.

Funniest zombie movie ever, and that in a terribly over parodied genre, because they actually play a lot of it relatively straight much of the time. Basically, the zombie apocalypse is really inconvenient in large measure because it forces them to confront the problems they have with their relationships, although they still do manage to get down to the pub. At the end of the day though, becoming a zombie doesn't really interfere with one character's lifestyle that much; he's back in the shed playing video games and being a slacker. Zombies have become just another annoyance in our lives.

Zombieland

Oh, America. I wish I could tell you that this was still America, but I've come to realize that you can't have a country without people. And there are no people here. No, my friends. This is now the United States of Zombieland. - Columbus

Oh, I do it to blend in. You know. Zombies don't mess with other zombies. Buddy of mine, makeup guy, he showed me how to do this. Corn starch. You know, some berries, a little licorice for the ladies. Suits my lifestyle, you know. I like to get out and do stuff. Just played nine holes on the Riviera. Just walked on. Nobody there. – Bill Murray as Bill Murray

The "Scream" of zombie movies which manages to articulate the "Romero rules" as immutable laws of the universe. Witty and again focused on the relationships and travails of daily life, the characters sail along with their lives even as the majority of the population tries to eat them. The focus isn't the end of the world, it's the quest for the last Twinkie or trying to get laid in a world with only two women left. Zombies are just another fact of life.

The Walking Dead

I'm sorry this happened to you.

We have never had a closer relationship with the dead than we do in The Walking Dead. The mutilated zombie woman who Rick speaks the above quote to, or the poor man who is trapped and unable to kill his wife (now a zombie) even as she returns again and again to her home make great examples. But they pale beside the best scene in the entire series to date in which Andrea waits for her sister Amy to rise from the dead so she can say goodbye and kill her. It is these scenes about their connections and not the zombie fighting scenes that make this show harrowing to watch. This show isn't funny by a long sight but it also accepts the zombie as just the way it is. We care about the dead, but have to get on with our lives. The world is a horrible place, but the world is the world we live in, and it's time to get on with it. Everyone I have spoken with about The Walking Dead has had the same objection to a Zombie TV show, "won't it get boring just running from Zombies every week?" The genius of this show is it's not about zombies, it's about living in a world of constant, unremitting danger. A world which we sometimes fear may be our own.

The next great vision

So overall, a pretty depressing genre, but I think there is an interesting new trend that may be developing. Just as we have seen characters learning to live with the New Normal of zombie wasteland, there have begun to appear zombie stories about facing down this greatest threat to human existence and actually doing something about it.

World War Z

"... 'the greatest threat to human existence.' C'mon! Can you imagine what America would have been like if the federal government slammed on the brakes every time some paranoid crackpot cried "wolf" or "global warming" or "living dead"? Please."

This book, published in 2006, is a compelling and readable oral history of the Zombie War. Brad Pitt is off making it into a movie as I write this, and there's a reason he is. It's about a zombie apocalypse that humans fight their way back from. It's on the theme that even the worst problem that has ever existed can be overcome. That there may be a new normal, but it can be one defined by human courage and ingenuity and not by zombie appetite.

Sadly, the very hopefulness of this vision may be the double tap to the head of the genre. Things may be bad but they are not irredeemable, and I suspect this will force us to find a new big bad. (Werewolves anyone?)

... Read full post

Doctor Who: The Time Monster

"Nobody and nothing can stop me now!"

There's something very Russell T Davies about this season finale. Like many of RTD's season finales, 'The Time Monster' is an epic story that sees the Doctor and his surrogate family working together to stop a recurring enemy from conquering the universe or something. And like so many of Russell's epic finales, it's an overblown mess of a story, remembered more for the emotional scenes between the Doctor and his companion than for anything else.

The plot is just a retread of 'The Dæmons', only with Satanism and pagan ritual swapped out for Greek mythology and scientific gobbledegook. Once again the Master is trying to summon some all-powerful alien creature and use their power to take over the universe. The creature in question is Kronos, some kind of pigeon/spaceman hybrid, played by a bloke dangling from a wire, flapping his wings about like he's having a fit. Even if you were suffering from pantophobia, you'd struggle to be terrified of this monster.

The final two episodes feel like a completely different story. After a filler episode consisting of nothing more than the Doctor running in and out of the same set over and over again while the Master gloats, the action is relocated to the ancient city of Atlantis. While the Master gets to work seducing Ingrid Pitt (the lucky bastard), the Doctor is thrown in the dungeon and later forced to battle a naff looking Minotaur (I wonder if he's related to the Nimon?). At least he gets to tell Jo a nice story about how he used to hang around with a hermit when he was younger.

More than any other story, I think ‘The Time Monster’ encapsulates everything that was both good and bad about the Third Doctor era. In Jon Pertwee, we have a Doctor who is dashing and fatherly, but also insufferably arrogant and unbearably patronising. A man forever obsessed with giving polarity a right good reversing. There are very few companions who are as adorable as Jo Grant, nor will there ever be one quite so thick either. The rest of the UNIT family are all present and correct: the mighty Brigadier, the loveable Sgt. Benton and... Captain Mike Yates (well, two out of three ain't bad). Good chaps, shame they're all made to look like a right bunch of plonkers. And finally there is Roger Delgado as the Master. He’s as brilliant as ever, shamelessly stealing the whole thing from under Pertwee's nose with as little effort as possible. But at the same time his scheme is a load of old bollocks.

Notes and Quotes

--The Doctor is able to make some sort of time gizmo out of a cutlery. Guess he really could save the universe using a kettle and some string. Even while wearing a vegetable.

--The Master's assistant, Stuart and Ruth, are so bloody annoying. Definitely two of the worst characters this show has ever produced. Every line that comes out of their mouths is like nails on a blackboard.

--This story suggests Kronos was responsible for the sinking of Atlantis, contradicting 'The Dæmons' which contradicted 'The Underwater Menace'.

The Master: "Ah, the tribal taboos of army etiquette. I find it difficult to identify with such primitive absurdities."

The Brigadier: "One moment you're talking about the entire universe blowing up and the next you're going on about tea."

The Brigadier: "You'll be consulting the entrails of a sheep next."

The Master: “You know, it's a long time since I came across a hypnotic subject that turned out to be as good as you are. It's just like old times.”

The Master: "I've never seen a more inept performance!"

One and a half out of four time gizmos made out of a cutlery. ... Read full post

Person of Interest: Judgment

“You have two questions right now: Who are you and where is my son? Which one do you want to focus on?”

Kidnapping cases on TV are tricky. On the one hand, they’re really easy to relate to, because everybody is afraid of losing the ones they love and it plays on our paranoia, which is something Person of Interest does well; on the other hand, everybody knows they’re not going to kill the kidnappee, especially if it’s a kid, so it may become very predictable. As this one was.

The only twist was that the kidnappers were not after his money, but, frankly, since the man in question was a judge, and one notoriously incorruptible, that was not exactly a shock. I even expected the judge to answer the kidnappers’ call saying “OK, which case do you want me to throw?”

Or maybe I read too many Agatha Christie novels when I was a kid and overthought the plot. When Reese asked the judge if he thought the nanny was in on it, he said “That’s impossible. She loved Sam.” Why did he use the past tense before it was revealed she had been killed? I was sure that was a sign he was somehow behind it; as we learned that they laundered money, I figured he was on the scheme too, and forged the abduction so he could have an excuse in case the DA decided to investigate the suspicious trial. That is, rather than attributing it to bad writing, I took it as a clue. I’m very disappointed to be wrong.

The truly good parts of this episode, as it usually is in this show, were the interactions between the four main characters. In fact, the dialogue keeps getting better, though a little barren of one-liners, as you can see in the very short quote section.

The interactions have been one-on-one so far. Finch talks to Reese, who talks to Fusco, who talks to Carter, who talked to Finch last week. (It’d be a perfect circle if she hadn’t talked to Reese in the pilot). Still, except for Carter and Finch, all these relations are getting tighter. Fusco and Carter are forming a good team at work and recognizing each other as good cops. And Reese can Batman his way away from Fusco all he wants, he’s got good detective skills and means well. Besides, without his intel, Reese wouldn’t have discovered the conspiracy in time.

And the best of all is Reese and Finch finally starting to trust each other. After that chase that led to Finch’s losing his job, he’s been paranoid about Reese’s intentions, as evidenced by the first exchange at the restaurant. Reese, on his turn, has been trying to make amends, if subtly. It was very satisfying seeing Finch imply he lives near there. Even more satisfying was Reese’s gratitude towards Finch. What he needed was a purpose all along. I like them both and I want them to get along.

Bits and pieces

- I haven’t mentioned 9/11 in the past two reviews, but I still think it haunts the show, more or less prominently.

- Finch is still addressing Reese by his last name.

- The final confrontation was a yawn-fest.

- Judge Gates was played by David Constabile, fresh off his stint in Breaking Bad. He looks much better with a beard than what he did in BB, less of a goof.

- The child who played the judge’s son was good.

- Elias was mentioned again.

- Leg shot count: 2, though Reese’s aim was off this week.

- Is there a parking lot in New York empty enough to leave a car with a person in the trunk for days?

Quotes

Reese: "It's an innocent question."
Finch: "No question is ever innocent from you. You're trying to determine whether I come here often. Armed with that knowledge, you'll try to figure out where I live."

Finch: "Try the eggs benedict, Mr. Reese. I've had them many times."

It’s hard to write about something you don’t feel very strong about. I didn’t hate it or particularly like it, and as soon as it was over, I forgot about it. Three out of four eggs benedict for the character interaction; one out of four cheeseburgers in the trunk for the story. It averages to two out of four cheeseburgers.

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Supernatural: Slash Fiction

Frank: "Well, I'll be darned. Psycho Butch and Sundance. You're on CNN right now."

Was that a record number of beheadings in a single television episode? I don't remember ever seeing that many, even in an episode of Highlander.

This was the first time the leviathans as the big bad really worked for me. The weird extended torture scene in the basement was surprisingly fun in a sick sort of way, and they desperately needed to introduce a way to kill the damn things. (But... borax? How random.) The Winchesters work out their relationship issues in such interesting ways. Dean not only cut off Sam's head, he cut off his own. Even Bobby got to trade bon mots and childhood traumas with himself, with yet more beheading.

Parts of this episode had me laughing out loud. The scene in the car with the pony squeak toy and Dean singing Air Supply with Sam just looking at him was a gem. I also enjoyed the boys doing Pulp Fiction. When they "Pumpkin'd and Honey Bunny'd the diner", the dialogue was practically word for word, minus the profanity. I also liked uber-paranoid Frank Devereaux. He was hilarious.

Where the episode wasn't as strong was the repetition. The second half was pretty much a recycled "Jus in Bello," with Michael Hogan from Battlestar Galactica as Henricksen. Did he and his daughter have to die in the end? The deliberate revisiting of the locations of the first few episodes of the series worked, though. It was a smart way for the leviathans to get Dean and Sam to go to a specific place.

And I'm so pleased they brought back Jodie Mills. I particularly liked the bit when she thought Bobby was going to kiss her, and instead he gave her a head in a box. I was sure Jodie was a leviathan, but thankfully, no. They probably brought Jodie back because it was unlikely that Bobby would stop to scrub the floor of the cabin when he was busy with Chet. Could they please not kill Jodie? She's suffered enough, and it would be nice if at least one continuing female character made it to the end of the series.

I was also very happy to see Crowley again. I enjoyed that scene in the limo with Dick Roman, the head leviathan (not Misha Collins? Rats). Leviathans apparently see demons as even more revolting than humans, and Dick rejected Crowley's offer of an alliance. That may have been an error, Dick. I'm pretty sure I know who Crowley will be approaching next.

Yes, the title of the episode wasn't just about Pulp Fiction. The "slash" was about Dean and Sam and their couple issues. Dean's clone spilled the Amy beans, and Sam stalked off. I don't think they'll be apart for long, though. Their co-dependent connection isn't just that of brothers and business partners. It's life and death, and they're pretty much stuck with each other. Notice how I avoided saying "to the end", there?

Bits and pieces:

-- No more rock shout-outs? Nooooooo! Maybe now that they're dead again, they'll rethink that. For a moment, I was afraid the Impala would have to go, and that absolutely cannot happen.

-- I'm glad the Amy thing was revealed. Maybe now we'll stop seeing Dean killing Jewel Staite in the previews.

-- I knew that Morris and Valente, the FBI guys, had to be leviathans. Although I think they started out human, because they were confused about how Dean and Sam were able to get a thousand miles away so quickly. They probably got jumped somewhere in the middle of the episode.

-- Bobby was a high school drop-out, his father was an alcoholic and they had a difficult relationship, and his favorite singer is Joni Mitchell. Bobby/Clone did a very good brief John Wayne impression.

-- I kept expecting Chet to escape during the scenes in the cabin. Too bad we didn't see how Chet's head got back on his body. Did it develop tiny little feet? Pseudopods?

-- Dean wanted to keep the clone heads. You don't suppose he actually will? If he keeps them together, could they keep talking to each other?

-- We revisited several places from the first few episodes of the series, ending in Ankeny, Iowa.

-- Last night after the episode, I dreamed about walkers from The Walking Dead who were also leviathans, and they were after me, my son, and one of my two cats. And "Footloose" was playing in the background. It's not so bad when you wake up from a nightmare and laugh out loud.

Quotes:

Bobby: "Great. Just what we need. A Mensa monster."

Dean: "Those sons of bitches xeroxed us."

Bobby: "In the meantime, I'll keep working on Chatty Cathy here, see if I can figure out what makes him die."

Frank: "My condolences on the doppelgangers. Now who sent you? NSA? the Feeb, March of Dimes?"

Frank: "Little tip from a pro. There is no such thing as a random series of robbery-murders by your evil twins. Have yourself some uppers and look at that some more."

Jody: "I wanted to come thank you."
Bobby: "Thank me?"
Jody: "Yeah. Seeing as they were fresh out of 'thanks for saving me from my liver-eating surgeon' cards at the store."

Dean: "Nobody puts Baby in a corner."
Sam: "You know that's a line from..."
Dean: "Swayze movie. Swayze always gets a pass."

Dean clone: (re: burger) "You know, he has one of these every day? And in his heart, he thinks they're almost as good as sex. This is disgusting."
Sam clone: (re: salad) "Dead plants with creamy goo. It's like eating self-righteousness."

Sam clone: "Idea! Wanna trade? I mean, I'll take Chuckles over Schizo."
Dean clone: "No, I like this one's hair better. You can stay in the big one."

Bobby clone: "Aw, Bobby. You are ten pounds of sad in a five pound bag."

Dean: "You want me to Desperate Housewife these mothers?"

Dick: "You shouldn't have. I love a muffin."
Crowley: "One hundred percent organic baby uvulas. Gluten free."

I enjoyed this one a lot. Three assorted heads in boxes,

Billie

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Star Trek: And the Children Shall Lead

Spock: "Without followers, evil cannot spread."

Apparently, lawyers are evil aliens plotting to kill us all. Or maybe this episode was a morality tale about respecting your parents and doing your homework, and the evils of ice cream and ring-around-the-rosy.

Much like season one's "Miri", this was another episode centered around children that might have worked if it had been better written. An alien invasion carried out by children could have been creepy. But just one alien? And how was he doing it? There were several references to "the enemy within" and making the grownups call on their "beast", but no real explanation of what was going on. Apparently, the Friendly Angel brainwashed the children with the promise of play time forever, and gave them the power to make people hallucinate just by pumping their fists and looking threatening. Attorney Melvin Belli did inject genuine menace into his performance as Gorgan the Friendly Angel, but the sparkling muumuu he was wearing brought the threat level down significantly.

Forgive me for continuing to nitpick, but why would the children finally react with grief while seeing the graves on video, when actually seeing their parents die had no effect on them? How did Kirk know that the Friendly Angel was called a Gorgan? And how could the truth make the Gorgan ugly? For that matter, when the landing party arrived, they found all the adults dead and the kids having a grand time, and no one thought it was a little odd?

There were many call-backs to previous episodes. The sores on the adult colonists were bright blue, like those of the grups in "Miri." There were frequent mentions of "the enemy within". Uhura got a visit from "The Deadly Years" in her conveniently placed mirror on the bridge, while Sulu got "The Naked Time" on the viewscreen (tons of swords in space, which makes little sense). And the colonists were wearing the jumpsuits from "The Devil in the Dark." Those costumes certainly got a lot of wear.

Ben says...

Blech! I know everyone loves to hate "Spock's Brain", but allow me to draw your attention to this particular steaming pile of offal.

Probably the best part of the episode is how it alludes to much better SF origins, particularly Bill Mumy’s performance as Anthony Fremont in the Twilight Zone episode, "It's a Good Life." That’s the one where he sends people to the "cornfield" when they annoy him, and is a meditation on the cruelty of children in their un-enculturated form. Heck, little Craig Hundley as Tommy Starnes is pretty much a road show version of Mumy (which when that is the peak of your career should cause a young actor to pause and consider a career in trucking or nursing).

The Gorgon deserves special mention, as his presence completely muddles the whole episode. Is it his evil influence that has driven the children to murder their parents, or was his presence what made them all kill themselves (the whole feeling of dread thing)? In the end, it wasn't that the kids went all Lord of the Flies with superpowers, it was that they fell in with a bad influence because kids are never cruel. Right? The writers just couldn't bring themselves to really have the kids responsible, and the result is just a muddled mess.

All that said, a special moment of appreciation is deserved for the Gorgon's costume choice. Not everyone can wear a shower curtain muumuu while wrapped in Christmas tree lights, but he makes it work. Of course they seemed to have filmed him through about an ounce of Vaseline smeared over the camera lens, so there's that. Actually, while on the subject of costumes, a special costuming award to Dr. Seuss for Tommy's Onesie Striped Tunic-y jumpsuit. That this seems to be the only outfit he was allowed to bring to a distant planet may explain why he used his powers to drive his parents to suicide.

Back to Billie for bits and pieces:

-- Star date 5029.5. A science colony on Triacus that apparently had no shelters or structures of any kind. The third season budget cuts were making themselves known.

-- Two redshirts were accidentally beamed directly into space instead of down on the planet.

-- The landing party put a UFP flag, red with white stars, by the graves. I don't remember seeing that flag before. It was actually not all that cool-looking or inspiring.

-- Nurse Chapel got stuck babysitting, but at least she was in the episode. And she got to do it in a brand new set: an arboretum.

-- I'll mention again that I have no interest in slash, but Kirk and Spock were practically in a passionate embrace during the turbolift scene.

Quotes:

McCoy: "He's dead, Captain."

Spock: "Evil does seek to maintain power by suppressing the truth."
McCoy: "Or by misleading the innocent."
Or both. All this going on about evil seemed uncharacteristic of Spock. Kirk talking about killing children was also a bit out of character.

Truly awful episode. One out of four previously unseen arboretums,

Billie

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In Time

[Say hello to J.D. Balthazar, who will be reviewing movies for us! Welcome to the site, J.D. -- Billie]

In Time is a slick, bright, and fast paced sci-fi action movie directed by Andrew Niccol of Gattaca fame. It falls into the dystopian future sub-section of Sci-fi, and uses a sort of Bonnie and Clyde meets Robin Hood framework. It is set in the near future, with a look that draws from different eras of clothing and style. This creates a solid atmosphere that isn't gritty like most of the other movies of this genre. This cleaned up style is reminiscent of a Michael Bay movie, but it manages to not lose the integrity of being a hard science fiction story. It asks hard questions of its viewers, and has an extremely relevant message of corporate and governmental corruption.

The background is semi-typical for this genre, but no less interesting. Through the perfection of genetic engineering, everyone is born with a life span of exactly twenty-six years. A second past your twenty fifth birthday, your final year begins to count down and you stop aging. This time is measured on an organic digital display embedded on your left forearm that everyone is born with. Where it gets interesting is how this time can be traded, with a simple, nearly instantaneous handshake. Because of this startlingly cruel technology, all forms of currency are now based on numerical values that literally represent life. With everyone perpetually young, there is no indicator of age. You keep living until your counter runs out, or you die a violent death. In a world of immortals, there is no real growth. This is where the real meat of the story hinges its drama on, the concept of endless stagnation. It is a remarkably high concept that was handled with a bit of a heavy hand. Yet it manages to not be preachy, while using transparent allegories of present day problems.

The cast was really solid. Justin Timberlake (Will Salas) is a serviceable lead who is both likeable and believable. Which might sound like I'm damning him with faint praise. But he has the thankless job of being the hero, which he does quite nicely, and I was pleasantly surprised how well he carried the emotional weight of the movie. Some of the plot elements that could be considered plot holes are filled in by some fascinating ideas of simple class barriers. The poor are used to running, and exerting themselves. The rich look pretty, but are so complacent and slow that they have become fairly fragile. Even our young heroine Sylvia Weis (Amanda Seyfried), who starts off as an emotionally abused rich girl, isn't as physically fast as our hero, so he ends up dragging her around for a good portion of the film. Cillian Murphy has a great part as the cop chasing them. His motivations and determination drive a lot of the tension of the story. Which could've easily turned into a long chase sequence, but thankfully didn't.

There is so much nuance to this movie. With so many neat tidbits, I find myself having trouble choosing a single thing to point out.

So here are some of my Favorite Details:

Cops are called Time Keepers

The countries and cities are separated into Zones which are blocked off with barriers that require time to pass through.

The wealthy district is called Greenwich.

The local Mission has a sign that says "Out of Time", and the "Out of" goes out when there are hand outs.

The guy working at the mission uses his own time to save people.

Dying is called Timing Out.

Being born into wealth is referred to as coming from Time.

The movie plays with the reverse of the old "Needs of the Many" dynamic. More than one character refers to this idea that to achieve immortality, the lives of the many must be sacrificed for the benefit of the few.

The local gang are called the Minutemen.

On a giant digital display of the world stock market, the changing of currency is represented with hour glass icons.

The problem with hard science fiction, is that it is difficult for a lot of people to understand. Wrapping this kind of story in accessible action and pretty faces softens its cerebral nature. The result? It isn't perfect, but it is definitely enjoyable.

I'd give it 3 out of 4 portable automatic teller machines filled with endless time.

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Vampire Diaries: Ghost World

“We’ll choose between boyfriend ghost dramas.”

It’s oddly reassuring that this episode of VD is not perfect. This is not to say that it was terrible—rather, it was very, very good. It just lacked the frightening impact of the previous five episodes. That’s a good thing: it’s a reminder that even at its least-astonishing, this is still a fascinating high-tension show.

Part of the diminished impact of this episode might be due to the re-emergence of three players that, while interesting, are not our heroes: Anna, Lexie, and Mason Lockwood. A slight shift in emphasis took some of the emotional burden off of Elena, who has really been rung through the ringer lately. Her character moments were smaller, but still vital in her ever-evolving relationship with Stefan and with her own maturity. But I’m getting ahead of myself…

Anna, Jeremy, and Bonnie

Jeremy’s unwillingness to let go of Anna hasn’t been my favorite storyline this season, although when I step back to look at the bigger picture of the state of television today, I have to give Jeremy props for not being an annoying younger brother. Despite his increasing buffness, though, the real stand-out of his story was Anna. She misses Jeremy, but ultimately she’s just lonely—I am so happy that she found her mother, finally, and that she’s gone beyond the “supernatural purgatory” to, hopefully, a happier place.

What does that mean for Jeremy and Bonnie? Probably not good things. Bonnie has the newly reconstituted necklace, which once again puts our least-interesting character in charge of a super-powerful object. Jeremy, on the other hand, has alienated his sister and showed himself to be a weaker man than Matt.

(I always think Bonnie is about to die, but this time I really think it. She’s so alone without Gram.)


Elena, Stefan, and Lexie

How interesting is it that Stefan saw Lexie first? Was he thinking of her, or does that rule not apply once the ghosts became manifest? Anyway, it was wonderful to see Lexie again, particularly the part where she slammed Stefan’s head into a car window. The rehab process was less enchanting, as it’s hard for me to separate inhuman Stefan from human Stefan.

The boundary isn’t entirely clear, either: once he reached pure starvation, Stefan dropped the mean act and was just forthright and honest with Elena. It wasn’t happy, but it shows that some of his meanness, such as calling Elena pathetic last week, is just as much an act as anything else: inhuman Stefan is neutral and uncaring, but not actively angry at Elena. (That he doesn’t care, of course, just hurts her more.)

Stefan’s antipathy to Elena’s pain, and the undyingness that is Klaus, have really pushed her into the acceptance phase of the grieving process. She’ll wait a while, but she won’t wait for Stefan’s return forever. She doesn’t, however, seem to have realized that there is still an element of impossibility in their relationship: as she ages, and he doesn’t, it will become increasingly like Anna holding Jeremy back. I suppose that that’s a good problem for Elena to have, because it would mean she’s got her Stefan back. In the meantime, though, she has to add staking her ex-boyfriend to her daily to-do list.


Mason, Damon, and Alaric

Mason is more exciting as a ghost than he ever was as a werewolf. After getting his vengeance on, Mason really stepped up to the plate. His willingness to help his absentee nephew was touching, particularly as it led to a pseudo-Indiana Jones/Angel cave journey (complete with wooden spikes and redemption!) with Damon.

The best part, though, was watching Damon work up to apologizing to Alaric. He had to hear about the other side from Mason—a place of eternal regret. Damon does regret many of his actions, but he doesn’t seem to believe in the power of forgiveness: he just wallows in his grief and uses it as an excuse to indulge in selfish and destructive behavior. But Mason made Damon realize that he doesn’t want to regret his relationship with Alaric, and he was painfully, giggle-inducingly charming when he not-apologized to the world’s sexiest history teacher.

Hopefully Alaric will accept that apology, as their bromance is the one relationship that isn’t made more interesting by the introduction of strife. In the meantime, though, Alaric has a new toy to play with. The look on his face when he saw the cave-drawings was perfect—it’s got to be every historian’s dream, to discover something old and unseen for centuries. And possibly, it’s a chance to finally kill Klaus. Hooray!


Bites:

• Mason said things with Mikael didn’t “turn out so good.” What does he mean? What happened to Katherine and Mikael in the tomb?

• I’ve had a hard time finding the screencaps I want this season, so that one above is from some previous episode.

• Elena had better call Sheriff Forbes: “Hey, Sheriff? I’ve got my vampire fiendish uncaring ex-boyfriend locked in the creepy cells below the city jail, ‘kay?”

And Pieces:

• Damon: “Greetings, blondie, witchy.”

• Caroline: “Please tell me that’s a recipe for witch cookies.”

• Stefan: “I forgot how much I used to care.”

• Damon: “Sorry to break it to you, but Tyler can’t be helped. At least not while Klaus is alive, which is, like, always.”

• Mason: “I’m a ghost, not God.”

• Elena: “Are you going to love a ghost for the rest of your life?”

• Lexie: “That necklace represented hope.”
Stefan: “Ironic, then, that it’s about to get blown to pieces.”

• Elena: “I won’t love a ghost for the rest of my life.”

Like I said: not the best episode ever, but still better than 95% of what’s on TV today. The previews for next week look absolutely wonderful.

Three out of four witch cookies.
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Grimm: Pilot

Nearly two hundred years ago, two brothers wrote down true tales of the monsters that walk among us. Visible only to the Grimm family, the monsters look human to the rest of us, so the true importance of the tales “written” by the Grimm brothers is known only to their descendants, each of whom receives the curse when an older relative dies. Portland detective Nick Burkhardt is the latest in this tradition to be cursed when his guardian aunt edges closer to death, and he is struggling to come to terms with his new power while juggling an appropriate work/life balance and—I’m sure—missing sunshine, since Portland looks horribly grim (and an awful lot like Vancouver).

Grimm has a hard task ahead. ABC’s Once Upon a Time is delightful for some mysterious reason—cheesy, kinda dopey (dwarf pun!), but nonetheless winning and adorable. Grimm is none of those things. Additionally, Friday nights are increasingly busy: once the cool people go out to the bars and sex clubs, us pathetic losers can enjoy an all-night lineup of Supernatural, Fringe, Chuck, Nikita, cheese puffs, and perpetual virginity. There’s not much room in that schedule for another show. Luckily, the World Series meant we didn’t have to cancel our SPN or Fringe DVR season pass this week, but I was dreading such a difficult future choice.

Happily, I’m not planning to watch Grimm again.

At this point, it is nothing more than a poorly done procedural with fairy-tale gloss. The crime-solving was mediocre, at best: the lack of even the most superficial attention to aspects of policing that everyone knows about from simply existing in the world tweaked my mystery-novel sensibilities. The stakes were woefully nonexistent, and I never once felt like the little girl might get killed, or even inappropriately touched—much less eaten.

The folkloric elements are equally dull. I have no more than a passing interest in fairy tales and folklore: they’re interesting and fun, but I don’t see them as profound peasant wisdom or examples of the universality of our collective fears or monolithic ancient tales that remained unchanged until “discovered” in the 1800s. They’re cultural artifacts collected for highly nationalistic reasons by amateurs who likely messed with their source material rather considerably, and along the way unintentionally founded one of the more disturbingly racist branches of the soft sciences. It takes more than a big, bad wolf to get my awesomeness radar pinging.

Sadly, there wasn’t much more here than a not-so-big, not-so-bad wolf. Despite creator David Greenwalt’s impressive pedigree, the world-building did not impress me. Aside from the two wolves, all the monsters that Nick saw were just…monsters. Skeletal asymmetrical zombie-ish monsters with gross teeth. It reminded me more of Jacob’s Ladder than the thrills and chills of youthful dark tales.

The mythology is of the “Wait—tell me more about the mysterious past before you die! Oh, no!” variety. There’s an aunt who conveniently slips in and out of consciousness, depending on how much time is remaining until the end of the episode. There’s a trailer that’s bigger on the inside. There are books to be used in Buffy-esque research—flipping through pages, looking at pictures. (If only research were that easy, ever. I guess it’s better than Wikipedia?) There’s a mysterious necklace/locket/key thingamabob, and a long-standing feud between the Grimms and the monsters.

Above all, there’s no spark. The lead character was blah; the writing was flat, expository, and humorless. Some of the shots were just weird: why was the sky suddenly red at the end of the episode? The score sounded like it had been pieced together from old episodes of Lost—and when did it become de rigueur to end each act break with a dull thump? The previews for the rest of the season don’t look any better: not a quip or a jaw-drop to be found. The most amusing part of the episode was the fact that the monsters both drove Volkswagens.

I suppose this could get better. Stranger things have happened. But the world, the cast, the premise—all of it—just feel too limited for much growth. I’m certainly not going to stash the cheese puffs, hit the swinger’s bars, or cancel my DVR recordings for Supernatural and Fringe.

I will, however, electronically stick my tongue out at Gus, who called dibs on Once Upon a Time, and totally won our epic battle for fairy-tale-television reviewing supremacy. This week, at least.


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American Horror Story: Halloween (1)

"It's just a feeling I get... darkness."

I think the biggest hurdle this show has to overcome relates to the Harmon's and the fact that they're still living in that goddamn house! I may be stupid for seeking some realism in a show about gay ghosts and Frankenstein babies, but it's so ridiculously silly that this family is still sticking around despite being assaulted and weirded out by literally everyone that stumbles into their lives every week. Characters exhibiting irrational and clueless behavior is a trope of the horror genre, but it sure is making the family at the center of this show so easy to point and laugh at.

Once again, it's the mythology that's raising the bar. At first I was only annoyed by the on-the-nose hyper-sexuality of Pat and Chad ('power-bottoms', 'twinks' -- nobody talks like that, show); but Zachary Quinto eventually managed to stumble into something quietly moving. Like Vivien, he's trapped in a marriage that's slowly decomposing, married to a man who can't go a day without boning somebody else. Quinto also struck that perfect tone where he seems aware of how campy and nuts this show is, something that Connie Britton and Dylan McDermott should probably look into.

I'm pretty bummed about Addie's death. Her story this week could have easily spiraled into crass and offensive territory, but I ended up liking her desire to just be considered beautiful for one night of the year. Sure, Constance made her wear a big latex rubber mask to achieve that, but it was a story that finally reflected how close the two of them are. Constance sends a lot of animosity and bitterness her way, but she really does love her. There was something so sad about Constance dragging Adelaide's body closer to the house (presumably to keep her spirit alive as a ghost?).

The most affecting moment, just like last week, came from Frances Conroy's Moira. While Jessica Lange is all about the campiness, Conroy is delivering the show's only truly moving performance, and it's Moira that is quickly becoming the heart of the show. The scene with her mother was beautifully performed, and I loved how the story utilized the whole 'dead will walk the earth' angle. It's another example of the schizophrenia in the Ryan Murphy wheelhouse, but so far I'm not finding the radical swings in tone entirely jarring. Based on Glee and Popular, that'll probably hit sometime in season two. But for now, American Horror Story is entirely winning me over.

Notables

- Was Patrick grabbing Ben's crotch somehow related to how Ben sees Moira? It's like both ghosts are cursed to be forever seen as over-the-top representations of their baser instincts: Patrick a big gay sex freak and Moira a seductive mistress.

- Rubber Man returns! He's mightily creepy. Anybody pick up this week's Entertainment Weekly yet? I simultaneously squeed and shuddered when it appeared in my mail-box.

- I'm enjoying these flashbacks to Charles and Nora Montgomery, in all their gothic Lovecraftian glory. Sewing up baby parts? Major ick, but horror awesomeness at its finest.

- Chad: It's not your house. You know it. We know it. And the house knows it. Frankly, you don't deserve it.

Previously posted at Unwelcome Commentary. ... Read full post

Walking Dead: Bloodletting

“Little girl goes missing, you look for her, its plain and simple.”

How much of our civilized selves can we hold onto? What can we give up? Or must we give up and still call ourselves human? If last week kept me on the edge of my seat, holding my breath this week had me holding back tears on an emotional roller-coaster. The amazing acting of Andrew Lincoln and Sarah Wayne Callies had me in their shoes grieving and terrified for their son. And so it isn’t only flesh-eating zombies that can kill you in this post-apocalyptic world, it’s the stray bullet of a hunter, or blood poisoning, or one of the many things that we could easily treat today but might need a vet and a run on a zombie-infested FEMA station to treat tomorrow.

I think the flashback at the beginning of the episode made the dichotomy between our present everyday lives and what we might have to face very clear. We worry about the fight we had with our spouse this morning or the loveless marriage we are committed to--hell, even our husband being shot--and it really isn’t anything compared to the catastrophes that might await us. Maybe we should just enjoy and be happy for what we have. At the very least we should be kinder to those we love because we never know when we are going to lose them.

That’s what I love about this show, or one of the many things, it makes me look at my life and what it means to be human. I sat there thinking - how far could I run with my injured grandson in my arms (not far enough)? What would I do if I had to choose between my own safety and finding a little girl? When would I cut bait? And if I decided to do the right thing, the civilized thing, would I be endangering my loved ones?

This show is also about relationships. I particularly liked the scenes with Shane and Rick. Shane wiping Carl’s blood off of Rick’s face broke my heart. It is obvious that they love and care for one another. We don’t get to see men being vulnerable (especially with each other) on TV, particularly when fighting zombies. But men stand up for each other, protect each other and care about their friends. That is what a stand-up guy does. And a stand-up guy goes to a zombie-infested high school to get medical supplies to save the life of the kid he shot accidentally. These are real action heroes. It is nice to see male characters who are more than two dimensional.

Bits and Pieces:

Loved the kick-ass Maggie on her horse running down the walker.

Daryl is growing on me more every week. T-dog goes on about his worries over racism but Daryl keeps saving his life.

Okay, if you find flares in a police car and they work to distract the walkers isn’t it a good plan to take some with you just in case? An exit plan is always good strategy.

I like Hershel. I hope they don’t kill him off.

PS: As I said earlier. I am not a true zombie fan. I haven't read the comics so if it seems as if I don't know things it's because I don't. Please feel free to educate me.

Quotes:

Otis: “I never saw him until he was on the ground.”

Carol: “That’s the worst thing I ever said.”

Tdog: “Oh man, wouldn’t that be the way, world gone to hell, the dead risen up to eat the livin’ and Theodore Douglas gets done in by a cut on his arm.”

Hershel: “One down, five to go.”

Shane: “You wire yourself tight now, you hear.”

Shane: “This turned into one strange day.”
Otis: “Didn’t it though.”

Dayrl [as he puts an arrow through a walker’s head]: “Shut-up.”

Glen: “All I know is this chick rode out of nowhere like Zorro on a horse....”

Rick: “I can’t just sit here.”
Lori: “It’s exactly what you’ll do. If you have to pray or cry or tell God he’s cruel you go right ahead. But you’re not leaving Rick.”

Lori: “You’re completely in over your head aren’t you.”
Hershel: “Ma’am, aren’t we all?”
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Ringer: Pilot

"You have the wrong girl!"

It's almost fitting that a show all about identity and duplicity has some of its own identity issues. Pilot episodes are rarely flawless, but I was a little surprised at how Ringer's series premiere was more than a little frayed around the edges. Whether they want to or not, the specter of Buffy the Vampire Slayer hangs over the show. Not so much in trying to keep up with that show's immediate impression, but in the character Sarah Michelle Gellar has chosen for her return to primetime. I was shocked that what seemed to be the main premise of this series wasn't as omnipresent as I had presumed. Bridget and Siobhan are only thinly sketched so far, and despite playing two roles, series creators Eric Charmelo and Nicole Snyder don't give Gellar a whole lot to work with.

Around the time of the initial 'switcheroo' with Bridget taking over Siobhan's life, I had the nagging feeling that Ringer would have been so much more fun if Bridget was a little less 'blah'. She appears bruised and CW-level 'trashy', but maintains a dry-humored demeanor and a noble streak. With that in mind, the sketchily drawn explanation for why Bridget switched lives with her sister comes across as more than a little ridiculous. If Bridget were slightly more ruthless and deceitful, the series' premise would be more believable, and the outcome probably a lot more entertaining.

Siobhan, as briefly she appears, seems so far to be the more interesting character. She's stuck in a stunted marriage, is sleeping with her best friend's husband, is at war with her catty stepdaughter, and appears to have cooked-up this entire 'sibling switch' scheme while relaxing in an apartment in Paris. Wouldn't it have been fascinating to see a bitchy, aggressive Bridget stumbling into the life of her sister (somebody she thought was stuffy, repressed and boring), only to discover how dangerous and twisted it in actual fact was?

Away from my hypothetical storyline (which I promise I'll stop talking about), Ringer's pilot was mightily intriguing once you sifted through the blah-ness. While I don't think the premise is exploited as well as it could have been, there are numerous questions posed through the first episode that should be enough to keep you tuning in. The old lady pulled up from the shore, the Mob guy, the hitman, Bridget as a killer, Siobhan's maybe-son... And while there's a lot to take in, it never feels like the show is bombarding you with cliffhangers. The only plot point I had a major issue with was Bridget telling everybody that she's pregnant. Surely from a time-keeping point, it would be far more interesting to see Bridget think it over for a couple of weeks before revealing that she's expecting. In the process making this whole scheme far more complicated than it easily could have been...

Of the cast, Gellar is fine, if underutilized. For an actress so comfortable with playing vastly different characters, she deserved some juicier twins to play. Obviously the show will likely add additional shades to both Bridget and Siobhan, but so far they're pretty flat. Of the supporting cast, Ioan Gruffudd gave a lot of depth to his workaholic husband role, but Kristoffer Polaha was scarily monotonous and I have no idea why they made Tara Summers play her part with an American accent. It dipped in and out during every damn scene.

There's a lot I liked about Ringer. The visual flourishes, the idea itself, Sarah Michelle Gellar. While the pilot was nowhere near as great as I had expected (maybe it's my own responsibility for getting so excited), it would be crazy to say the show doesn't have potential. Regardless of its faults, I'm in it for the long haul.

Notables

- Buffy would never have let that hitman take her down like that!

- Those were some mightily big bitch-shades Siobhan was wearing in the diner sequence.

- The CGI-hell boat sequence got a lot of press the day after this pilot aired. But, to be fair, none of the effects were that impressive. Even the twin-shots looked sort of phony.

- [Transmission notice: I wrote these reviews straight after watching each episode, so there's a lot of theorizing that may not make a whole lot of sense in retrospect.]

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Person of Interest: Cura Te Ipsum

Andrew: “You're a good man.”
Reese: “Good? I lost that part of myself a long time ago.”

What does it take to be “good”? What does it mean?

It’s often been said that Person of Interest feels like Ben and Sayid’s time as a team during Season 4 of LOST. In this episode, the comparisons between Reese and Sayid, especially their concern about not being a good person, were intensified in that last very tense scene, which gave us some food for thought about the nature of goodness.

Though Andrew may have been just bargaining for his life when he said he could see Reese was a good man, I think it’s true. Granted, he’s done many bad things, but he believed he was doing them for a good cause. I’m not saying it’s justified, just speculating what must be true to him, at least at the time he was doing them. On the other hand, regardless of intention, all these things have taken its toll on him. He’s conflicted, and in desperate need of redemption. Finch chose the right man for the job. It’s not just him: we had three examples, besides Reese, of people dealing with bad decisions. And as he said, “maybe there are no good people. Maybe there are only good decisions”.

The first was Dr. Tillman (played by Linda Cardellini, who looks a lot like Alona Tal), a good person bent on exacting revenge against the man who raped and drove her sister to suicide, dealing with a future bad decision. She’s planned and prepared everything to the minimal detail. If she had carried out her plan, would she still be a good person? Just because she’d be ridding the world of a bad person, is the cause a good one? Reese knows that if she had, she would have lost a part of her forever, as he has, so he took matters into his own hands. But just by meticulously planning the assassination, hasn’t she already lost at least a little of that part?

The second was Andrew, the rapist, who’s getting back what he had coming for the bad decisions he has been and will probably keep making. If there are two types I have no pity for, it’s bullies and rapists. Can he repent and be a better person? If he stops raping for fear of Reese, would that make him good?

And finally there was Andrew, who had to deal with the consequences of his past bad decisions. He was shown under a more sympathetic light here, and I can certainly see his redemption soon. He seems to be a good father and, as was stated in the pilot, his heart was not in crime. Would being good for now redeem him of his acts? Will he prove to be more trustworthy, too? I think so, but wouldn’t bet my life on it. Let’s hope the Torero cartel is gone for good.

You must have noticed there were many more questions than affirmations in this review. It was the only way I found of writing about an episode about doubt. I always say that art is about asking questions, not answering them, and that’s what the episode excelled at. Even the open ending was a master stroke. It doesn’t matter what he ended up doing to Andrew; the conflict in Reese’s mind is not getting resolved anytime soon.

On the Detective Carter front, she’s zeroing in on Reese, getting to meet Finch in a terrific scene. I like that she’s really competent and doesn’t cut corners in investigations. Let’s see where it gets us.

Bits and Pieces:

- In case you skipped Latin or forgot how to google, the title means "heal thyself", as in "Physician, heal thyself", in Luke 4:23; which are two LOST numbers, by the way.

- Reese is calling Finch by his first name, whereas Finch uses “Reese”, the opposite of what happened in the pilot.

- It’s easy to frame somebody, isn’t it? Guns last week, drugs now. I’m paranoid.

- Leg shot count: 0 again. He should have shot the cartel guys’ legs the first time around, though; he nearly failed his mission getting abducted. I think the writers cheated there.

- I’m not a Spanish expert, but I think I detected a lot of Anglicism when Reese spoke to the cartel thug. It may sound like a criticism, but it’s actually more realistic than the usual spy who can speak several foreign languages perfectly. Sometimes they can even fool native speakers into believing they’re compatriots. That’s nearly impossible.

- We had a glimpse of Finch’s back problem. And while he was deceiving the doctor to switch her pager, I think he was telling the truth about his pain. Poor Finch. Should he be doing push-ups, like last week, though?

Quotes:

The dialogues between Finch and Carter, Resse and the doctor in the diner, and the one in the last scene were really good. It was hard not to reproduce them verbatim here.

Reese: “In other words... in other words, we'll have to watch her around the clock to figure out what kind of trouble she's in.”
Finch: “If you'd like a raise, Mr. Reese, all you have to do is ask.”
Does Reese get a paycheck?

Finch: “Detective Carter, I suppose you're used to being around guns, I suppose scenes of violence are commonplace for you, but I can assure you that for me, it was terrifying. I was so terrified, I couldn't even look away. So, when he picked me up, I thought surely I was about to die. So, yes, I was communicating with him. I was begging for my life. I’m sorry I can’t remember the exact words I used.”
I would have fallen for his act for sure. Pretty convincing.

Reese: “The guy you got tied up in the back of the van can wait. You're smart. And you've been careful. You probably wouldn't get caught. But the truth is, you'll never really get away with it.”

Reese: “Maybe you could change. And maybe so could I.”

Reese: “Which do you think I'll regret more-- letting you live or letting you die? Andrew... Help me make a good decision.”
Killer last line.

This episode looks like the show crouching to make its leap into greatness, but it hasn’t gotten there yet. Three and a half out of four open endings.

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Dexter: A Horse of a Different Color

Dexter: "I guess there are some things even daddies can't fix."

Again with a specific religious theme. This time, surrender to something greater than yourself.

We don't often see Dexter get emotional, but he lost it several times. The Four Horsemen tableau actually shocked Dexter into swearing out loud. He was noticeably upset when Harrison went into surgery, and hugged the doctor when it was over. And they continued to bludgeon us with the faith theme when Dexter prayed for the first time, and got an answer in the form of a miraculous coffee machine. Dexter now owes God a debt. Maybe.

It turns out that Brother Sam experienced childhood trauma somewhat similar to Dexter's. Gold acting stars for Mos Def, because Brother Sam's quite literal moment of clarity in the chapel could have sounded stupid or cliched, but it didn't. Sam is so much more than a caricature, and I'm becoming seriously fond of him. So many characters on this show wind up dead or evil, and usually both. Not Sam, please. Dexter needs a friend. Sam is an interesting friend for Dexter to have.

What would Brother Sam do if he knew whom he was befriending? Then again, he's so inner directed that he might not even blink.

Deb is making her own unique mark on the lieutenant job, despite Maria's latest attempt to sabotage her. (Loved the big, chunky, symbolic Maria necklace/choke collar.) And I am really liking Mike Anderson. He's a smart cop, he's not easy to intimidate, and he made Quinn look like a doofus. Mike gave Deb some good advice, too, and she won't forget it. (Although I hope she doesn't take his advice about the profanity. Deb wouldn't be Deb without her wonderful potty mouth.) For a moment, Mike's familiarity with the book of Revelation made me wonder if maybe he was one of Gellar's acolytes infiltrating Miami Metro, but that would be too convoluted, even for Dexter. Besides, he's from Chicago.

James Gellar, former professor of the University of Tallahassee, Revelation expert and pervy peeping tom, has now been dubbed the Doomsday Killer. I knew that poor girl was toast, but what a horrible way to die. Gellar is supposed to be focused on Revelation and the Apocalypse, but he seems to be more interested in controlling Travis. In fact, Gellar isn't surrendering to God at all. Instead, he's taking on God's power of life and death for himself.

It looks like Dexter has chosen Travis as his next victim, and I don't get the impression that Travis is a bad guy. He's disastrously misguided, and committing murder because of your religious beliefs may be a long, time-honored tradition but it's still, well, wrong, but I feel bad for the kid. Maybe Dexter will decide against taking him out for those very reasons. Maybe that will be the favor Dexter owes God.

Bits and pieces:

-- The title kept making me think of the horse changing color in the Emerald City sequence in The Wizard of Oz. "You're out of the woods, you're out of the dark, you're out of the night..."

-- Angel and Quinn getting stoned in the Smokey car was amusing.

-- Deb's stash of frozen Girl Scout cookies came up in a previous season.

-- I liked the way Masuka reacted to Ryan's dishonesty. I think. We'll have to see if he follows through, though. And hey, if Ryan is into all this just to make a buck, I am seriously disappointed in this plot thread.

-- You got to love Dexter explaining the definition of a serial killer to Deb.

-- Dexter's brother Brian has come up several times already this season. Are they just teasing us? Were the writers just aware that the body parts from the Four Horsemen tableau were like Brian's victims and they were pre-emptively bringing it up?

Quotes:

Dexter: "What's with the wicked rodeo?"

Matthews: "Morgan is the new face of this department, Maria."
Maria: "I'm still..."
Matthews: "... the old face."
Good one, Matthews. Wow, does he hate her.

Masuka: "You're a derby girl?"
Ryan: "I have the bruises to prove it."
Masuka: "I think my head just exploded."

Deb: "Goddam pantyhose. Has anyone ever died from crotch asphyxiation?"
Dexter: "You have now crossed the line into inappropriate brother-sister exchanges."

Harry: "Looks like your prayers were answered."
Dexter: "I was desperate."
Harry: "Hey, no judgment. You already talk to an imaginary father figure."
Yeah, I'd been thinking about that. Especially when Dexter told Sam that when he needed help, he'd gotten it from his father, not God.

Another good episode. Three out of four imaginary father figures,

Billie

All of my Dexter reviews are archived here.

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