Buffy/Angel Crossover Guide

Buffy the Vampire Slayer began airing as a midseason replacement in the winter of 1997. After three seasons, Angel was spun off. Angel initially aired directly after Buffy on Tuesday nights, which made it my favorite night of television for quite awhile, and there were several crossovers. When Buffy the Vampire Slayer ended, one of the Buffy characters moved over to Angel for its fifth and final season.

This little article is intended to help new viewers figure out when to watch what. I'll try to keep the spoilers to a minimum, but a little bit of spoileryness cannot be helped.

To lessen the confusion of the show names and the character names being the same, I'll refer to the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer as BtVS, and the show Angel as AtS (Angel, the series). Plus I am only counting crossovers when actors appear. If I counted every mention, this would be really, really long.

The seasons ran as follows:

BtVS 1 (1997)
BtVS 2 (1997-1998)
BtVS 3 (1998-1999)
BtVS 4 -- AtS 1 (1999-2000)
BtVS 5 -- AtS 2 (2000-2001)
BtVS 6 -- AtS 3 (2001-2002)
BtVS 7 -- AtS 4 (2002-2003)
AtS 5 (2003-2004)

And here we go!

BtVS season four, AtS season one

BtVS 4.1 "The Freshman"
AtS 1.1 "City Of"

Angel calls Buffy on the phone, but hangs up without saying anything. We see Buffy's side of the phone call on BtVS, and Angel's on AtS.

BtVS 4.3 "The Harsh Light of Day"
AtS 1.3 "In the Dark"

Two-part story about the gem of Amarra that begins on BtVS and ends on AtS. Oz and Spike cross over to AtS.

BtVS 4.8 "Pangs"
AtS 1.8 "I Will Remember You"

In "Pangs", Angel arrives in Sunnydale, but stays in the background; Buffy doesn't know he was there until the last moment of the episode. In "I Will Remember You," Buffy goes to Los Angeles and confronts Angel. (If you're just watching BtVS, you don't want to miss "I Will Remember You".)

AtS 1.10 "Parting Gifts"

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce from BtVS season three arrives at Angel's office in Los Angeles and becomes a cast member on AtS.

AtS 1.15 "The Prodigal"

Includes flashbacks of Darla.

BtVS 4.15 "This Year's Girl"
BtVS 4.16 "Who Are You?"
AtS 1.18 "Five by Five"
AtS 1.19 "Sanctuary"

Faith returns for a four part cross-over that begins with a two-part story on BtVS and ends after skipping an episode with a two-part story on AtS. Darla appears in flashback in "Five by Five." Buffy appears in "Sanctuary."

BtVS 4.20 "The Yoko Factor"

Angel comes to Sunnydale to argue with Buffy about what happened in "Sanctuary" and has a delightful encounter with Riley.

AtS 1.22 "To Shanshu In L.A."

Darla returns.


BtVS season five, AtS season two

BtVS characters Darla and Drusilla are prominent continuing characters on season two of AtS. Darla is in nine episodes (2.3-2.5, 2.7, 2.9-2.11, 2.15-2.16), and Drusilla is in four (2.5, 2.9-2.11).

AtS 2.1 "Judgment"

Faith appears briefly.

BtVS 5.7 "Fool for Love"
AtS 2.7 "Darla"

My favorite crossover story with many shared scenes and flashbacks, and all five of the Buffyverse's most popular vampires: Angel, Darla, Drusilla, Spike, and the Master. "Fool for Love" is Spike's backstory, and "Darla" is Darla's.



AtS 2.12 "Blood Money" and 2.14 "The Thin, Dead Line"

Chanterelle/Lily/Anne (played by Julia Lee), who appeared in the BtVS episodes "Lie to Me" and "Anne", appears on AtS.

BtVS 5.17 "Forever"

Angel visits Buffy in Sunnydale.

AtS 2.17 "Disharmony"

Harmony visits Cordelia in Los Angeles. Cordelia and Willow talk on the phone.

AtS 2.22 "There's No Place Like Plrtz Glrb"

Willow stops by to give Angel some news.


BtVS season six, AtS season three

BtVS 6.4 "Flooded"
AtS 3.5 "Fredless"

Buffy and Angel meet off camera in between these two episodes.


BtVS season seven, AtS season four

The final season of BtVS and penultimate season of AtS includes something very like a Firefly crossover, with Nathan Fillion appearing in the final five episodes of BtVS (7.18-7.22) and Gina Torres appearing in five episodes of AtS (4.18-4.22).

AtS 4.13 "Salvage"
AtS 4.14 "Release"
AtS 4.15 "Orpheus"

Faith returns for three episodes of AtS, and then returns to Sunnydale for the final five episodes of BtVS. Angelus calls Dawn on the phone in "Salvage". Willow appears in "Orpheus."

BtVS 7.17 "Lies My Parents Told Me"

Fred calls Willow on the phone.

BtVS 7.21 "End of Days"
BtVS 7.22 "Chosen"

Angel crosses over for the final two episodes of BtVS, bringing something he was given in AtS 4.22.


AtS season five

The entire fifth season of AtS includes Spike as a cast member and Harmony as a recurring character. Adam Baldwin, who played Jayne in Firefly, appears in five AtS episodes: 5.17-5.19, and 5.21-5.22.

AtS 5.11 "Damage"

A visit from BtVS character Andrew.

AtS 5.16 "Shells"

Angel calls Giles on the phone.

AtS 5.20 "The Girl in Question"

Buffy is supposedly in this episode, but we never see her face and Sarah Michelle Gellar does not appear. Unfortunately.

AtS 5.22 "Not Fade Away"

Chanterelle/Lily/Anne appears.

---

And that's it. People have written and asked me for something like this several times, and now it's finally done. And all revisions mentioned in the comments are now included.

All of my Buffy the Vampire Slayer reviews are archived here.
All of my Angel reviews are archived here.
All of my Firefly reviews are archived here.

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Vampire Diaries: The End of the Affair

“It’s never going to be the same.”

The soap-operatic long-form storytelling structure of the Vampire Diaries rarely results in episodes with a distinctive structure. “The End of the Affair,” however, is a marvel of both extended narrative and short-form parallel structure. Both of tonight’s plots focused on two people coming together to rescue someone from their complicated captors. The emotional stakes of each plot illuminate the complexity of the other. And OMG that’s Gordon Ramsey’s little brother!


Stefan, Damon, and Elena

Last week, Elena risked herself, Damon, and Alaric to hunt for Stefan in Tennessee. This week, Damon continued to indulge Elena’s urge for the self-sacrificial salvation of her favorite Salvatore brother, taking her all the way to the city of big shoulders for a little Gatsby-esque fun. Damon’s motives are increasingly complex: we know he wants Elena to love him, but he’s also willing to sacrifice himself—by being with Klaus—to keep her happy by reuniting her with Stefan. And we can’t forget that Stefan is sacrificing himself to keep Damon alive and safe.

This triangular self-sacrifice became quadrangular, too: Katherine is following Stefan and Klaus, and is feeding Damon information. To save Stefan? To appease Damon? To distract Klaus so she can sneak up on him? She knows Elena has Rebekah’s necklace—but does she know that matters?

“Stefan’s second personality home” and his diary revealed Stefan’s hidden secrets to Elena, just as Klaus’s un-compulsion re-revealed his past to Stefan. Elena is still willing to come to terms with Stefan’s dark, serial-killer past, but Stefan doesn’t feel like redemption is possible. Last time Stefan went Ripper, it took him 30 years to get over it. Stefan knows that, with every moment he stays with Klaus, and with every victim he takes, the chance of reuniting in any meaningful way with Elena becomes less and less possible. She’ll be nearing fifty when he becomes “her Stefan” again. He must lie to her about his motives and his desires to try to force her to stop wanting him.

Just as the hidden spaces of Stefan’s closet-within-a-closet revealed his past to Elena, the flashbacks illuminated the specifics for us. Unlike many fans, I’m not a huge fan of flashbacks on this show, but I really enjoyed these. Part of that enjoyment was due to my affection for the 1920s, but part was the willingness of the writers to show Stefan as a happy-go-luckily “sick freak” who loves to bring the pain.

Warning: This Paragraph Contains Allusions to Angel and Buffy.

Stefanus’s hi-jinks are very Angelic: he likes to hurt more than just to kill. Unlike Spike, he’s not just in it for the rush. He enjoys the ritzy lifestyle, and has a lovely blonde ancient vampire in his past who was resurrected by Stefan’s nemesis, with whom he has to work in order to save the people he loves. Even his victim’s name, Liam, evoked Angelus’s human self—and Stefan killed him, perhaps symbolizing that VD is willing to go even farther with Stefan’s dissipation. Maybe they’ll even go farther with the Stefanus episodes than Angel did with the Angelus episodes (inspired, let’s not forget, by a powerful creature from Angelus’s past that he had forgotten). Rebekah stabbing Klaus but knowing he wouldn’t die was also very familiar.

End Spoilery Paragraph

Despite the appeal of flapper outfits and bootlegged liquor, though, it was Damon’s concern for Elena that was the highlight of this episode for me: “I had an hour to realize what a bad idea it was to leave you here alone. Process it and move on…Are you okay? Okay, good. Get dressed. You’re all gross and road-trippy.” The writers do such a fabulous job of permitting Ian Somerhalder a complicated range of emotion, and he has done a wonderful job of making Damon complicated and distinctive. (Can you imagine anyone else in the role?) Here, he manages to jump from snarky to obviously upset with himself to snarky again—all while showing exactly how worried he was, and how he deals with that sort of self-flagellating regret with inappropriately humorous insults.

Caroline, Sheriff Forbes, and Tyler

Whereas Stefan’s relationship with his “captor” is a complicated bromantic love affair (with Klaus) and a romantic love affair (with Rebekah), Caroline’s relationship with her captor is simple: he’s her father, and he thinks that it’s love, to hate what she is and make her what he wants her to be.

Poor Caroline, who always felt like her father “got her” more than her mother did. Now, her father wants to “cure” her of her impulses with a Clockwork Orange-style aversion therapy evocative of attempts to “cure” gay people of their orientation. Daddy Bill doesn’t see the irony, even though it was made quite clear in an earlier episode that he’d left Sheriff Forbes for another man. And he doesn’t see the pain he’s causing, either. Why can’t he love Caroline like he used to? Now that she’s a vampire, she is more mature, more thoughtful, more caring, and can absolutely kick ass if needed. How can he not love that? Sick freak.

Bites

• Elena waking up to Damon in bed.

• Even if we assume that Stefan still has the lease or title to his apartment, how has it not been turned into a tacky modern condo by now?

• I lived in Chicago for a year. I cannot think of a less magical place. (I was poor, cold, and my favorite cat died.)

• As soon as I saw Gloria in the flashbacks, I said to myself: “She must be a witch.” Indeed, she is.

• Rebekah calls Klaus, “Nik.” It’s odd that they should give him two nicknames. And a little awkward.

• Sebastian Roche, who has been in both Fringe and Supernatural, was in the last nano-second of Stefan’s flashback. Does that mean we’ll get more Chicago flashbacks, or that Sebastian Roche will return as a vampire in the present? Is he the person hunting Klaus and Rebekah?

And Pieces:

• Damon: “Let’s just say he’s not there to meet Oprah.”

• Damon: “And I’m shocked! Stefan’s not a virgin?”

• Klaus: “So, a hybrid walks into the bar, says to the bartender…”
Gloria: “Stop. You may be invincible, but that doesn’t make you funny.”

• Damon: “I could still indulge in a few Daisy Buchanans of my own.”

• Klaus: “You’re right. He does have funny hair.” (A very Angelic joke.)

• Gloria: “You may be cute, but you’re still a vampire.”

• Damon: “You kill Andi one day, you save my life the next? What are you? Good? Bad?” (Is anyone else reminded of “So you’re the bad slayer now? Does that mean I’m the good slayer?”)

• Damon: “She’s not going anywhere until she’s got you checked into vampire rehab.”

• Damon: “Oh, honey, I’ve been called worse.” Nothing has ever made me laugh as hard as I did when he said that.

This was a wonderful episode. I didn't miss Bonnie, Matt, Jeremy, or even Alaric. The simplicity of the stories that were being told really gave each character a chance to shine. This expanded geography, too, is an interesting development on a show that started off being about a small town. Perhaps we're getting a sense of just how VD might deal with the inevitable college years that I assume will start next season.

Four out of four metaphorical closets.

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The Walking Dead: Days Gone Bye

Rick: “I’m sorry this happened to you.”

I love this show. There is nothing like waking up in a hospital room and finding out the world has ended. I know it’s been used before, but it is such a great way to move from everything’s okay to complete disaster without all the icky bits in between.

So there is our protagonist, still recovering from his gunshot wound, staggering through complete horror. It is only pure dumb luck that gets Rick to his home without being attacked, and it is luck again that he finds just the right people to help him survive long enough to get his wits about him. You can be the best shot and the most well-trained survivalist, but it is luck more than anything that determines who lives and who dies when the world goes to hell.

However, if you want to give luck a chance, you have to start using your brain and thinking things through. Rick starts to do that. He realizes that his family may still be alive. He listens and learns from Morgan. He goes for the guns and hits the road. I love that Rick continues to wear his uniform even though being a cop doesn’t have any meaning anymore, because this show isn’t just about survival, it's about what makes us human. The point is not just how can we survive, but why we should bother.

End of the world shows are also good for getting us to ask ourselves important questions. What would I do on the edge? What do I take for granted every day? What is really important to me? It is interesting to see the characters struggling with these things. I can tell you that I’m not sure I would make it past the first zombie attack. I might just stay in that hospital room forever.

As a first episode, this one did its job. It sets the scene, introduces us to the main characters and let us know a little bit about them. The scene is complete devastation. Atlanta is not the safe haven it was advertised to be (even I know that in a zombie apocalypse the city is not the best place to go, and an even bigger hint was that all the cars were trying to drive out of the city). There must be some kind of civilization somewhere, though, because we do see a helicopter.

The characters are in various pockets. We have a band of survivors on the way to Atlanta, a father and son on the outskirts and Rick. Morgan and his son are holed up in the suburbs of Atlanta next door to where Rick used to live. Morgan is a much more realistic portrayal of how one might react in this situation. He is paralyzed by the loss of his wife. The scene where he tries to shoot his now-zombie wife was heartbreaking. I really hope his being frozen in place doesn’t end up killing him and Duane.

We also get to meet the ubiquitous ragtag group of survivors hunkered down just outside of Atlanta. Even these characters have some depth though and this group includes Rick’s wife Lori, his son Carl, and his best friend and partner, Shane. Unfortunately Shane has something going with Lori. Not the greatest thing to find out after you’ve battled zombies to find your family. Rick is the lone traveller trying to get from one group to the other, although he doesn’t know it yet.

Bits and Pieces

I really am not a fan of the gooey bits of this show and I find some things really disturbing. The zombie kids creep me out and Rick shooting the little girl was awful.

Okay, the conversation about women never turning off the lights was sexist, but my daughter and I looked at each other and laughed. Her dad was always after me to turn off the lights, and now her partner does the same thing. I would like to see a little more action from women in the show though. The big male protector thing can get a bit wearing.

Why exactly was Rick standing out in the open to shoot at the suspects in the car when he already knew they had shot at police officers. I wasn’t surprised when he got hit.

The half-woman zombie that Rick sees and eventually shoots out of mercy is an awesome product of special effects. You can see the process of creating her in the short clip “Bicycle Girl” which is available on the show’s website.

A horse is a good idea since they don’t need gas, but riding them into a zombie crowd is just nasty. My least favourite bit of the show.

Note to self - don’t use a gun in a tank.

Quotes

Rick: “Is this real? Am I here? Wake, wake-up!”

Rick: “Gunshot ain’t enough.”

Morgan: “I guess we just froze in place.”

Rick: “You pull the trigger, you have to mean it.”

Voice over the radio: “Hey you, dumbass. Ya you in the tank. Cosy in there?”

Song at the end: “Welcome to my world, welcome to my only world.”
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Haven: Business As Usual

Stu: “People are already divided. All that’s left now is for you to choose a side.”

So I guess this is business as usual for Haven. The troubled on one side and the non-troubled on the other. And all this has happened before. How long has it been going on? It seems like hundreds of years. I hope we get some answers next week but we won’t get them all. There’s a whole other season coming.

Weekly Weirdness

Stu was our troubled person of the week. Poor Stu, he dessicated two of his friends and now can’t touch his wife or anyone else until the troubles are over. I’m not sure I would have gone off with Stu. What if you touched by accident? Would gloves work? I guess so since it is his sweat that affects people. Still pretty risky business for love. Patrick Grolsh is “troubled” in a different way. He is a total bigot and loudmouthed lawyer. I couldn’t believe that he was actually willing to kidnap Stu, use him to kill Audrey or anyone else who got in the way and then burn Stu alive. Seriously, and it’s the troubled who are Haven’s problem? On the other hand, as I’ve been saying all along, I’m not sure I would understand if Stu dried up one of my loved ones even by accident. Haven is not a safe place for anyone. I think if I lived there I would be afraid to go out.

Overarching Mystery

Audrey isn’t Lucy she just had her memories in a previous incarnation. That was a surprise to me. For a moment I actually thought we might meet Audrey’s mother. The previews they show of the previous episodes are often misleading. It seems that Audrey/Lucy/whoever she is has been erased before and may be erased again. Is killing her what erases her? How does she manage to pop up again when needed? How many versions of Audrey/Lucy have there been?

Dave and Vince are the keepers of the town secrets and they are disagreeing over how to handle them. Dave is up to something. I didn’t like the look in his eye when he talked about providing a space for the meeting. Vince is trying to stop things from replaying but Dave is stirring things up. Ps. Vince is a terrible liar.

Dwight also seems to be in the middle of things and he knows more than our scoobies. He may not have known what was in the box when he went for it but he figured it out just before or as soon as Duke cut him. Why would he have been willing to kill Duke if he knew what it was ahead of time?

Duke found his father’s legacy. Is this what is supposed to save him from being killed by someone with a tattoo? What are the weapons for? It seems that spilling the blood of a troubled person with one of the weapons gives you your own trouble or power or at least super strength. Do different weapons work on different people or provide different powers? So many questions. But the big question is why is Duke supposed to kill Audrey and will he even consider it?

Relationships

Well, it only took two seasons to get Audrey and Nathan to kiss. What happens now? He admitted his feelings for her and she returned them. While I was happy to see them finally connect I’m a bit worried about what happens now. Once you put the leads together you have to find a way to separate them again to keep up the sexual tension going. I wonder what the writers have in mind? And how does Duke fit into all this? Let’s just forget about Chris. He became old news really quickly.

Bits and Pieces

The troubles are definitely triggered by emotional stress. As Nathan said, he had never seen a trouble triggered just by physical stress.

This was the episode of the crappy parent. Evi’s mom wanted her stuff inventoried before it is sent. Dwight’s father was willing to send him to Afghanistan without warning him about his trouble. And Duke’s father has left him what seems like a terrible burden.

Nathan looked adorable after Audrey kissed him. Lucas Bryant does an excellent job of being that vulnerable, good guy. I hope Audrey doesn’t crush him. Chief Wournos didn’t end too well.

Quotes

Nathan: “People winding each other up.”

Dave: “It’s time this town faced its realities, all of them.”

Audrey: “Nathan, that man was jaywalking.”
“State law, you’ve got to cross at the corners.”

Lucy: “My God you’re really here.”
Audrey: “Did someone tell you I was coming.”
Lucy: “You 27 years ago.”

Duke: “ What happened to honour amongst thieves?”

Vince: “If people really knew what you were doing...you’re starting a war.”
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Glee: I Am Unicorn

Brittany: “Out of all the kids in this school, I think you are the biggest unicorn.”

We Are Unicorn

What is the plural noun for unicorns? Seems like I need to know it for Season Three of Glee! Brittany, herself a massive unicorn (or possibly bi-corn), recognised how strong Kurt had to be last season through all the bullying, and tried to make him embrace his uber-gayness. Of course, there is such a thing as going too far! Kurt’s discomfort with the posters and with what he overheard while eavesdropping on the directors suggests that maybe he doesn’t see himself as quite as gay as everyone else does. Thankfully Daddy Hummel was there to explain that Kurt won’t ever be mainstream rom-com hunk material, and he shouldn’t feel like he needs to be. Unfortunately, it was too late to stop Kurt getting rather injured when his Shakespeare scene went wrong. While I can understand Rachel getting the giggles when it came to kissing her friend, Coach Bieste should know better – as a muscly, hirsute woman she should be more sensitive to people struggling with gender roles. On the other hand, it was very funny!

More unfortunately, the final nail in Kurt’s rom-com coffin came when he saw Blaine’s audition, and how the judges reacted. Blaine is also a unicorn, but managed to stay true to his gayness and his nature as a performer while still exhibiting the masculinity that the directors were looking for, for the role of Tony. For any gay guy who hasn’t got that masculine side, it can be difficult to accept. We know Kurt’s had issues with his sex appeal (or lack thereof) before, but this time, the guy he previously turned to for help is not only his boyfriend, but the guy who’s about to get the lead in the school musical instead of him. What’s gonna happen, dun dun duuuuun?!

Don’t Mind Doing it For the Kids

I hope I’m not alone in saying – Shelby, why are you here? Is it to sing duets with Rachel, then making her do her sad face when you refuse to be a mother to her? Or is it to make Puck and Quinn go all m/p-aternal, then make them do their sad faces when you refuse to let them be full time parents? Perhaps it’s the rather dodgy plotting and characterisation of Shelby from Season One, but I can’t sympathise much with her situation, and the way she’s been reintroduced this Season just seems like she’s going to stir up a whole bubbling pot of trouble and then vanish again. How about agreeing to start a second glee club at McKinley High? How could that end well for anyone? One silver lining of her reappearance was that Puck became a whole lot more likeable in his strong desire to be a good father in whatever capacity he can. On the flipside, it seems Quinn has become even more of a wing-nut. Does she need reminding that she gave her child to Shelby because She, Quinn, wasn’t ready and able to be a good mother? Does she think that chain-smoking and lunch money stealing make for good maternal traits? Does she think that it would be at all healthy for Beth if Quinn and Puck got full custody, thus depriving the child of her actual, effective mother whom she’s already bonded with? Thanks for the wake-up slap Mr Shue, it was much needed, but I think Quinn needs a few more.

Loved

- Brittany is simply a fantastic person. One who has clearly watched K$sha's video for "Blow" very often.

- One of Kurt’s posters had the slogan “Ride the Rainbow”…. SO wrong! Thankfully Brittany didn’t go with the draft version with the unicorn being on top.

- Fun Sack contents: Teletubby, rainbow flag, badge, Silence = Death sticker, unicorn, ruby red slippers and copy of Burlesque. Not quite what's in MY Fun Sack, but still impressive Brittany.

- Becky’s right – Mr Shue IS sexy when he’s angry!

- Finn is now working for Burt in the car-fixing shop – wow, they really were father and son waiting to happen, huh?

- The Mike and Mr Shue dance classes were great fun – I’m glad that Mike is able to contribute more and Finn can get some more confidence about his own abilities (or lack thereof!)

- Two episodes, two solos for my favourite new main character. I also love Blaine for his obvious discomfort at being asked to read for the role of Tony and thus possibly dash his Kurty-pie’s hopes.

- They’re sticking with the songs from musicals, and this was the fewest songs in any episode of Glee to date. I didn’t clamour for more songs, but I do hope we get a different genre of music next week.

Didn’t Love

- It seems like the gay-related plots on Glee are always the strongest. While this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it does seem like the writers are much better when they’re sticking to subjects they know.

- Mr Shue is cool with a second glee club at McKinley? Why?

- Shelby. At least she can sing.

- Kurt’s studded shirt. Too weird and medieval. Where do they find this stuff?

- Sugar Motta needs to give up singing right now. Oooh, that would give Shelby an excuse to leave, yay!

- No matter how popular Kurt gets, those unicorn horn on the forehead posters he made Will get defaced. You know what I’m sayin’?

Glee Against the Music

Somewhere from West Side Story performed by Shelby and Rachel:
Beautiful rendition, and if this was supposed to be challenging for Rachel, I didn’t buy it for a second! Pertinent lyrics too. Grade B

I Am The Greatest Star from Funny Girl performed by Kurt:
Ooh. Sorry Kurt, but that’s not a patch on the original. Maybe it’s that it’s such a talky song, and newcomers to Funny Girl wouldn’t really know what Kurt’s talking about, but despite it being a smashing vocal performance this fell kind of flat for me. The scaffolding started off as a plus, but then when the moves became more acrobatic I found it too unbelievable. Grade C+

Something's Coming from West Side Story performed by Blaine:
What with some of the West Side Story songs already featured I reckon they might not actually put on the show. Despite that, Blaine definitely deserves to be cast as Tony after that performance. It wasn’t just a great vocal, he really acted the song too. Plus, check out those triceps! B+

Quotes for Gleeks

Rachel: “Mr Shue, I glad you’re so concerned with our special needs members, but what about me?”
Classic Rachel!

Kurt: “I don't know what to say.”
Brittany: “That happens to me all the time. My lips move and only dust comes out.”

Burt: “You're gay. You're not like Rock Hudson gay. You're really gay. You sing like Diana Ross and you dress like you own a Magic Chocolate Factory.”

Sue [to Emma]: “Are you still at freakishbonyginger@gmail?”

Beiste: “In college, I was in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. I played the Forum”

Kurt: “I wanted toned down.”
Santana: “This is toned down. In the original, the unicorn was riding you.”

Puck: “I haven't had a drink since we talked. Except beer. And I did some research. Napoleon? Turns out not just a dessert. He was a real dude.”

Sue: “First, smoking kills. Second, it really does make you look cooler, doesn't it?”

Beiste: “He owned that song like it was his prison bitch.”

Kurt: “I know what you're thinking, but I got written permission from the woman, herself . . . Rachel Berry.”

---Quote of the Week--- Brittany: “We're gonna call it Kurt Hummel's bulging, pink, fun sack.”

Three out of four giant cheques that have solved our toilet paper problem. Wipe Away!
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Terra Nova: Genesis

"We are at the dawn of a new civilization. No pressure."

Time travel, dystopia, conspiracy, manifest destiny ... safe to say that Terra Nova isn't just a garden party with vegetarian dinosaurs grazing in the distance. There was a lot going on in this massive and obviously expensive two-hour pilot.

Chicago

The story began in Chicago 2147, a chaotic mess of environmental catastrophe, overpopulation and martial law, much like Blade Runner but without the rain and the replicants. Even though she's a doctor and he's a cop, Jim and Elisabeth Shannon were living with their three children in a tiny apartment and hiding their youngest daughter in an air vent when the cops stormtrooped by. After Jim Shannon went to prison for two years because of their illegal child (a science fiction crime staple), Elisabeth and the two oldest children were offered a spot in the latest pilgrimage to Terra Nova, 85 million years in the past. Improbably, the Shannons managed to miraculously break Jim out of jail and smuggle in their five-year-old in a backpack so they could all go together.

Terra Nova

The large, circular Terra Nova compound appeared at first to be a utopia with futuristic houses, friendly dinosaurs, and literally too much fresh air. But danger was lurking -- well, not beneath the surface, but inside and outside of the impressive-looking fence. This pilot episode set up so many plot possibilities that I'm sure I didn't catch them all.

There were some lovely character moments in the first hour. The best was when the seriously adorable little Zoe had a petting zoo moment with a huge brachiosaurus hanging its head over the fence. Jim's first job of "weeding" led to another nice moment as he tore off his shirt and sat on top of the fence, exhilarated by the fresh air, exercise and the beauty all around him. Less fun were mom Elisabeth's bug-filled medical duties, while Maddy, the middle child, got the typical cute-boy-next-door scenes. Although I rather liked Maddy because she was smart enough to research the time period, and was cool about sharing a room with her little sister.

But then we had... extremely stupid teenagers

Although many shows haven't even returned yet, the eldest son Josh has already received my fall award for most annoying character cliche. He didn't want to leave Chicago because he had to leave his girlfriend behind, and we all know that's a lot more important than the future of his entire family. Instead of respecting the sacrifice his father had made for them, or his mother's decision to give them a new life, Josh was sullen, defiant and insulting. Instead of going to orientation and drinking the liquid diet shakes necessary for the body to adjust to its new environment (I bet he'll be puking his guts out tomorrow), Josh went off to find something to eat, encountered a group of emancipated and/or orphaned teens, and promptly went off on an OTG (outside-the-gate) jaunt. And everything went wrong. What a surprise.

I'm probably being too hard on this, but did we have to get such a transparent story device about how dangerous the frontier can be? Doesn't anyone with half a brain know that when you time travel into the past, it's smart to follow the freaking rules? That huge creatures aren't called "slashers" for nothing? That you do not force an entire group of adults to risk their lives rescuing you from your stupidity? I'll probably despise Josh as a character forever unless they put some serious time into redeeming him as a character. And if the show catches on. And if I keep watching it.

The cast

The Shannons are somewhat engaging. The standouts so far are Jim, self-sacrificing parent and jailbreaker extraordinaire, and Zoe, who is a miniature scene stealer. The most intriguing character in the pilot, though, was by far and away Commander Taylor (Stephen Lang).



At first, I thought Taylor was simply reprising the hateful jerk he played on Avatar. But after a few scenes, I started to like him, and by the end of the episode, I thought he was the best character on the show. He could be good, he could be evil, and he's probably both. In fact, he was sort of their version of John Locke. It was quickly established that he has secrets, like the real reason for Terra Nova's existence, and what's going on with his son. But he was nice enough not to slam all those irritating, irresponsible teenagers into the stockade for a year. I probably would have.

Taylor was the first person to go through the time crack seven years ago, and even though others came after him, he was alone for 118 days and survived. Did he know where he was going when he stepped through? What did he bring with him? How did he survive? I want explanations and flashbacks, and I want them now. In fact, I'd be fine if they decided to drop the Shannons and shift the focus to Taylor.

Answers and questions

I liked that the writers put some science in their fiction. There are probably a zillion things they got wrong, but I'm a science fiction fan, not a scientist, and I loved that they addressed some real stuff. Like newbies needing a period of adjustment to the food, like the moon being significantly closer to the earth, and especially their logical discovery that they are creating a new time line. Because we can't have a butterfly effect, now can we?

Where did the time crack come from? Why 85 million years ago and not, say, just a few thousand? How do they communicate with the future if there is no way back? *Is* there no way back, really? Why is Taylor's missing son scrawling equations on rocks at the forbidden waterfalls? Do the equations have something to do with time travel?

The idea that we can just go back and rewrite the history of the earth is exceptionally arrogant. Yes, let's go back in time and fuck up the planet before we actually did fuck up the planet. How can they possibly keep it from happening again? Although if it were my family trapped in horrible future Chicago, I'd go. Wouldn't you?

The "Sixers", members of the sixth pilgrimage, rebelled en masse from Terra Nova and now live outside the walls with their very own dynamic leader, who reminded me of Auntie Entity in Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome. There are Sixer spies in the Terra Nova compound, but we don't know who they are, of course. Who sent the Sixers, and what is their agenda? Are the Sixers really the enemy, or do they just know something that we don't?

Homages

On top of the obvious rip-off of Jurassic Park that even included the famous dinosaur head-chomping moment, there were a number of other callbacks as well. Avatar, of course. There were aerial hovercraft ads right out of Blade Runner. When the Shannons arrived in bright, colorful Terra Nova after the grayness of Chicago, it reminded me of that iconic black-and-white to color moment in The Wizard of Oz. And Taylor's name has to be an homage to Charlton Heston's character in Planet of the Apes.

I'm looking forward to the next episode. Yes, we've been through this "is it the new Lost?" bit before. Terra Nova will probably lean more toward isolation, action-adventure, monsters and conspiracies, and a bit less toward heavy-duty character development, intelligent literary references, and obsessive detail, but if this show innovates and takes risks, it could be good.

I don't like to rate pilots, but feel free to click on your rating and/or post a comment. What did you all think of Terra Nova?

Billie

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Eureka: You Don't Know Jack

… in which Tess’s “story-catcher” for the Eureka time capsule project subjects the audience to the dreaded clip show and causes the town’s residents to start losing their memories. Meanwhile, Carter and Allison become trapped in Tess’s lab just before GD is scheduled to undergo a sonic cleaning.

Here’s what I wrote in my notes when this episode started:

Oh, crap. Is this a clip show? Yes, yes it is. Well, I guess that explains why SyFy aired it with the Season 4 catch-up marathon.

And I’m not sure much else really needs to be said on this one. Okay, okay. To be fair, this episode also featured the birth of Allison’s baby, which of course happened under less than ideal circumstances with an odd group of attendants. “This isn’t how I pictured things going.” “I know. Bad timing.” This event naturally led to some nice Carter and Allison bonding, but to keep things balanced, we also got a good Tess-Carter kiss and some quality memories of Stark and Allison together. I thought the latter was a particularly nice touch. In general, I’m not a fan of clip shows, but it was really nice to see Stark in the episode in which his daughter was born. Even if it was only reruns of moments we’d already experienced (and some of them quite painful). I miss Stark.

Other Thoughts

The assortment of clips chosen for this episode was really bizarre. Some of the extended clips were particularly odd choices. What was up with Vincent recounting his memories of the time Martha invaded Café Diem? “That’s the story you’re gonna tell for all posterity?” He must really have some lingering resentment towards Carter over the mustard incident.

Vincent: “You think Iron Chef is exciting? They got nothing on Café Diem.”

Henry (to Zoe): “So, here in Eureka, mistakes can lead to new directions. Sometimes the wrong path leads to the right path. So just give it time, and you will find your own path.”

I did really enjoy seeing the Senor Fargo dream from ‘Noche de Suenos’ again. Hilarious!

Carter (sighing heavily): “One more time. Allison, we are about to be vibrated to death. And not in the good way.”

Carter: “I thought I was gonna lose you there.”
Allison: “You’ll never lose me.”

Allison: “I’m really happy that you’re here.”
Carter: “I’ll always be here for you. No matter what.”
Nice reprise of their moment from ‘I Do Over.’

Allison: “So how far apart are they?”
Zoe: “About 90 seconds. I think you’re in transition.”
Carter: “How in God’s name do you know that?!”
Zoe: “Tesla’s sex-ed classes can be pretty thorough.”

Was Allison’s baby adorable or what? I’m not usually one to gush over babies (excluding my own, of course), but Jenna was a real cutie.

So, are we to assume that Zoe’s path is to become a medical doctor, or does she specifically want to be an OB/GYN?

Final Analysis: If not for the birth of Allison’s baby, this episode would be entirely disposable. Moving on.

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Hawaii Five-O: Ha'i'ole (Unbreakable)

Please excuse this interruption to our regularly scheduled science fiction and fantasy show coverage, but I feel compelled to report the geekfest that just happened on the second season premiere of Hawaii Five-O.

I'll admit that the reboot didn't thrill me at first. I kept watching longer than I usually would with a cop show or procedural because of the casting. (Much like Castle, which, by the way, I am still watching.) But Hawaii Five-O got steadily better as season one progressed, and I've been looking forward to season two.

(I'm definitely spoiling the episode below, so don't read any further if you haven't seen it yet!)

Last Monday's premiere definitely did not disappoint. The "McGarrett framed for murdering the governor" plot was undeniably far-fetched and in real life, an innocent man is never exonerated so quickly, but it was still done well enough that I actually exclaimed aloud three times: when Hesse stabbed McGarrett, when Hesse was found dead, and when we found out sweet little Jenna had been working for Wo Fat all along. It even seems possible that Wo Fat was aware that the murder had been filmed, because he was so careful to keep his own face out of the picture. Talk about devious supervillainy.

But the reason I wanted to post this brief review is the actors. We already had a heavier than usual geek level in the cast: Alex O'Loughlin (Moonlight), Grace Park (Battlestar Galactica), and Daniel Dae Kim (Angel and Lost). In this episode, Masi Oka (Heroes) joined the cast, James Marsters (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Smallville) returned as Hesse, Terry O'Quinn (Lost) guest starred as Steve's former commander and mentor, William Sadler (Wonderfalls) returned as Steve's father, and Richard T. Jones (Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles) guest starred as the lieutenant governor. Two vampires, an android, a Kryptonian supercomputer, a superhero and a god. And let's not forget the chairman of Iron Chef America.

We've comprehensively covered 43 shows on billiedoux.com, and by "comprehensively," I mean that we have either reviewed every episode, or we intend to review every episode. Actors from nine of "our" shows were represented in this single episode. That's what? 20%? What can we call that? There must be a term we can make up that applies to this situation. "Geekfest" doesn't seem quite descriptive enough. Dan had an obscene suggestion that started with the word "cluster," but I'm not sure that works. Suggestions?



For you Lost fans out there, yes, Terry O'Quinn and Daniel Dae Kim had a scene together where their characters met for the first time. I really wish it had started with "Haven't we met before?" but, sadly, no. I was also worried that Terry O'Quinn would (1) turn out evil, and/or (2) get killed, but fortunately, no and no. His character is quite cool, and Terry O'Quinn makes everything better just by his very presence. I was hoping they would bring him back, and according to IMDB, they will.

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Doctor Who: Closing Time

Doctor: “It's a papoose.”

Tonight's episode reminded me a little of 2005's “Bad Wolf”. That, too, started off relatively lightweight, before revealing some unexpectedly devious depths. Despite enjoying “The Lodger” (Gareth Roberts' last effort and prequel to "Closing Time"), it didn't exactly set my world alight. Tonight's offering was a slight improvement. It's rare we get to see the Doctor in a bromance story. It's even rarer we get to see him almost copping off with another character. Steady on, Matt. You're not in Christopher and His Kind now.

A considerable period of time must have elapsed between “The God Complex” and “Closing Time”. Becoming a perfume model doesn't just happen overnight. Amy also seems to have a hand in Petrichor's marketing campaign: from its naming, to its advertising slogan (For the Girl Who's Tired of Waiting.) An odd choice of name, considering Petrichor means "the smell of dust in the air when it rains on a summer evening". A perfume which smells of dust? Nice. And great idea to name it after the TARDIS' control room password. Way to keep it secret, guys... hiding it in plain sight in massive letters on the walls of every perfume department in England.

How uncomfortable did Rory look at Amy's new found celebrity? Poor Rory. The guy just can't catch a break. Why can't he be the famous one for once? He looked as sick as a chip, traipsing around after Amy, arms full of bafflingly weightless shopping. Wasn't he once a hero? What happened to that guy? Must he always live in Amy's shadow? Maybe it's time he came out with a fragrance of his own, and call it Last Centurion: For the Boy Who Likes to Wait.

The Doctor we met in "The Impossible Astronaut" was 200 years older than the Doctor we saw last week. Another hint that a significant chunk of time has elapsed out of sequence. Imagine -- centuries of unseen adventures. (All, no doubt, to be documented by Big Finish Productions.) Does this mean the Doctor's been without a companion for 200 years? His conversation with Craig seemed to suggest he was still racked with guilt over constantly endangering his companions' lives. How sad he didn't get to say hello to Amy or Rory. He looked so proud of Amy's success. Still, I suppose he'll get to see them tomorrow.

This wasn't a bad outing for the Cybermen. Like the Daleks (with the possibly exception of “Dalek”, and “The Parting of the Ways”), they never seem to get the best stories. Or maybe the best stories have already been told. Which makes episodes like this -- where the villain is of secondary importance to the main story -- probably the best option. I quite liked the way the Cybermen looked tonight. The gloomy lighting suited them. I was glad to see the Cybermats essentially unchanged. They looked identical to those in “Tomb of the Cybermen”, apart from their CGIed mouths, smaller eyes and missing crepe paper beards.

It's just a shame the Cybermen are as soft as proverbial doo-doo. Forget glitter guns, heavy explosives and electro-magnetic pulses. Tonight they were killed by love. Which would have been a whole lot more convincing had it not been the exact same device Roberts used to defeat the spaceship at 79B Aickman Road. As with “The Lodger”, the theme behind tonight's episode was love conquering all. But can it really break steel? Still, I guess there was a cruel irony to defeating the emotionally stunted metal men from Mondas with emotion; an event which caused something of a renaissance in Craig. It seemed to ignite his self belief.

The Doctor's relationship with Craig was the real centrepiece of tonight's episode. Most of Gareth Roberts' stories are light-hearted romps ("The Shakespeare Code", "The Unicorn and the Wasp", "Planet of the Dead"), and tonight's episode was no different. It felt like the calm before next weeks' storm. Great performances from Smith and Corden. Their off-screen chemistry really showed though in their character interaction. I liked, too, that Craig was able to help the Doctor realise that, rather than being a danger to mankind, he was actually its saviour. Without him the world would have been doomed several times over; a truth which seemed to kill the Doctor's self-pity dead.

And what an ending! It's been hinted at for three seasons now that River will one day kill the Doctor. At one point, it seemed such a foregone conclusion, I started to doubt it. It seemed too obvious. But after that closing shot of River submerged in Silencio Lake, there can surely be no doubt. It's going to happen. Unless, of course, the Moff has some gargantuan rug pull still left up his sleeve. Other than that, I have no idea how this is going to end?

Bits and Pieces:

-- How is it that Madame Kovarian can remember the Silence? Something to do with her eye patch, maybe?

-- The Doctor used Sophie's blue envelopes to send letters to himself, Amy, River, Rory and Canton

-- Shame the Cybermen didn't convert Corden. He can do a killer robot.

-- Nice cameo from Lynda Baron. She still looks exactly like Nurse Gladys Emmanuel from Open All Hours.

-- How cute was Stormageddon?

-- Excreting alien gases? It's like the Slitheen all over again.

-- The Stetson we saw the Doctor wearing in "The Impossible Astronaut" was a gift from Craig. Stetsons are cool.

-- Frances Barber needs to turn the Panto Dame down a notch. Enough with the evil laugh, already!

-- Alfie's first word was "Doctor".

Quotes:

Doctor: “Yes, he likes that. Alfie. Though, personally, he prefers to be called Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All.”
Craig: “Sorry, what?”
Doctor: “That's what he calls himself.”
Craig: “How do you know that?”
Doctor: “I speak baby.”

Doctor: "Yappy, the robot dog. Not as fun as I remember.”

Doctor: “No, he's your dad. You can't just call him “not-mum”.

Doctor: “I'm the Doctor. I work in a shop now. I'm here to help . Look, they gave me a badge with my name on; in case I forget who I am. Very thoughtful, as that does happen.”

Doctor: “It's a papoose.”
Craig: “Why do I need a papoose?”
Doctor: “Alfie wants you attached to him. You are far too slow when he summons you.”
Craig: “When's he going to stop giving me marks?”
Doctor: “Never! That's parenthood. Couldn't you have just got a baby sitter?”
Craig: “No!”
Doctor: “Any baby sitter... doesn't have to be a hot one.”
Craig: “I told everyone I know I didn't need their help this weekend. They won't even answer my calls. I didn't know there was going to be an invasion of Cybermen.”

Craig: “Metal rat, real mouth! Metal rat, real mouth! Metal rat, real mouth!“

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Community: Biology 101

“You could have lived the rest of your life in blissful ignorance and died a happy pansexual imp.”

It's the beginning of another year at Greendale Community College and this one promises to be more fun and less weird than the first two years combined. I know this to be true because they told us so during a great big Glee-ish style musical number. Oh, and it looks like this is the year that Jeff and Annie are finally going to sleep toge- what do you mean that was a dream sequence? Dammit, Community! Don't tease us with your musical of lies like that. You more than anyone should know how fragile and borderline insane we Jeff/Annie shippers are. Do that again and I'm going Jack Torrance on the magic table.

Anyway, I digress. On to the episode.

Reversal of Fortune

I was surprised by how quickly Pierce was back in the group. I was fully expecting a quick fix but I didn't think it would be that quick. He was back in just as fast as Jeff was out. Oh delicious ironic irony. Jeff did everything he could to keep Pierce out of the study group but ended up getting himself excluded instead. Cast out into a lonely, scary, Chang filled world, Jeff became the new Pierce: alone, bitter, paranoid and casually racist. And that was before the monkey gas made him go a little Stanley Kubrick.

As for Pierce, it looks like his time at the Laser Lotus Celebrity Center was well spent. I'm happy to see that Pierce seems to be genuinely maturing as a person. Of the group, he's the one who needed to do the most growing up. He was willing to let everyone think he was still the same old Pierce in order to save Jeff from being banished completely from the group.

War of the Deans

New year, new Dean. He's got a new suit, a new beard (no references to evil mirror universe counterparts) and a new attitude. He's not going to be putting up with any more National Lampooning at Greendale. First order of business: get Annie's Boobs out of the air vents because this isn't some Monkey Hotel he's running. Second order of business: find out why Greendale's Air Conditioning Repair School Annex is using school funds to buy an Espresso machine for its faculty lounge.

Big mistake. Because now he's incurred the wrath of the true power at Greendale, John Goodman's Vice Dean Laybourne. And this is not cuddly Roseanne John Goodman or 'I occasionally play clichéd Republicans for Aaron Sorkin' John Goodman we're walking about. No, this is full blown, big bad insane, classic Coen Brothers John Goodman. The kind of which we haven't seen since O Brother Where Art Thou?.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Omar Cometh

The start of a new year at Greendale means new classes and new teachers. Step forward the study group's new tough-as-nails biology teacher, Professor Kane. The important thing you need to know about Kane, beside the fact he's an ex-con, is that he's played by Michael K. Williams. That's right, Omar has come to Greendale, people. Start spreading the word. Awesome as it was to see one of my favourite actors on one of my favourite shows, Professor Kane wasn't really that funny. But if this season is going to have a straight man, it couldn't ask for a better one than Michael K. Williams.

The Opposite of Batman

Poor Abed. Just as he and Troy were announcing to the world their intention to live together, ABC had to go and move his beloved Cougar Town to mid-season. Britta tries to save the day, because that's what she does even if no one wants her to, by getting him hooked on the British original, Cougarton Abby (Seriously, that's the best they could come up with?) Too bad it only ran for six episodes and ended with a mass suicide because we like to give you closure. This was probably the weakest part of this episode. It was cute in places but in terms of laughs it kinda fell flat. In the end, it was just something for everyone else to do while Jeff went crazy and the Dean felt John Goodman's power go through him.

Notes and Quotes

-- Jim Rash is now a regular. Let's hear it for the Dean!

-- Not sure yet how I feel about Chang joining campus security. Chang does work better as an unhinged authority figure than as Greendale's resident Gollum.

-- If Abed really thinks that Inspector Spacetime is the greatest show he's ever seen, he should seriously give Doctor Who a try.

-- Britta has now decided to pick a major and become a therapist. You don't have to be Carnac the Magnificent to know this is going to end badly.

-- Starburns has added a lizard to his special hat and sideburns. But he's still annoyed that no one is interested in the drug dealing human being underneath all that.

-- Speaking of Starburns, exactly what sort of Breaking Bad thing was he hoping to get going with a biology teacher? Guess he needed that class more than Tory.

Jeff: “Yeah, we have parted ways with our closest, oldest, craziest, most racist, oldest, elderly crazy friend, and he's not coming back.”
Pierce: “I'm back.”

Troy: “Britta, why did everyone on Cougarton Abbey just die?”
Britta: “They only ran six episodes. That's the great thing about British TV, they give you closure.”

Jeff: “Hey dude, Sean Penn called. He says to dial it back ... Sean Penn is an actor.”
Kane: “I know who Sean Penn is. I seen Milk.”

Troy: “Britta, you've done enough, ok. Why don't you go start a ruiners club. Oh wait, you probably just ruined it.”
Britta: “Well then, I'd be doing a good job, because it's a ruiners club.”
Troy: “You ruined my analogy!”

Shirley: “I don't want to push it but this would be a great time to baptize him.”

Dean: “I forgot everything you said before rectum.”

Season openers are rarely ever completely satisfying. They have the undesirable task of introducing new characters, getting rid of old ones, resolving last season's cliff-hanger, wrapping up any dangling storylines, continuing ongoing storylines and establishing brand new storylines for the season ahead. 'Biology 101' did all of that (save for the getting rid of old characters part) and even managed to do some, if not all, of it really well.

Hmmm, let's say three out of four trips beyond the infinite.

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A Gifted Man: Pilot

In a nutshell? Grey's Anatomy meets Ghost Whisperer.

Michael Holz is a brilliant, arrogant neurosurgeon with his own top-of-the-line practice. His busy, well-regimented life changes when he unexpectedly runs into his ex-wife Anna, they spend a casual evening together, and the next morning he discovers that she died in a car accident two weeks before.

Anna shows up repeatedly in this pilot, getting Michael to help resolve her unfinished business -- she ran a low income medical clinic, and the employees and patients are devastated by her loss. Michael makes a couple of half-hearted attempts to get rid of Anna, including a new age-y scene with incense and chanting that could have been funnier. In the end, Michael does exactly what Anna wanted him to do, which is help the needy patients at her clinic. In the process, he becomes more open to the problems of his flaky sister and her rebellious teenage son.

I'm not sure if this is the show for me, probably because it's hard to tell from a pilot just where they're going with this. Is it just a medical show with a supernatural twist? We certainly got a lot of the medical, which is so not my thing. But of course, they're signaling that this show is also very much about what it takes to be a good person. It's obvious that this is why Anna is haunting Michael. She loves him and wants him to be aware of how short life can be and what good he can do. She wants him to be a better person.

Patrick Wilson is believable as the driven but confused Michael, and Jennifer Ehle (star of the best version of Pride and Prejudice) projects non-threatening sweetness as Anna. I liked them both, but didn't feel that they had any chemistry as a couple. Julie Benz, who plays Michael's dippy sister, is a long-time favorite of mine from Buffy and Dexter, and I'd really like to see her land on another good series. Margo Martindale, who just won a well-deserved Emmy for her work on the second season of Justified, plays Michael's efficient staff assistant, who is none too happy when he starts scheduling MRIs for people who can't pay for them.

I may give this series a few more episodes and see what direction they go. But I don't care for medical dramas and I wasn't wowed. I like being wowed. Wow me, please.

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Fringe: Neither Here Nor There

“I know what it’s like to have a hole in my life. It’s been there as long as I can remember.”

I always get nervous returning to a show after a long hiatus. Especially a show like Fringe, which produces precisely the type of massive theorizing that I am so resistant to, post-Lost. Will I be pilloried if I don’t spend paragraphs meditating on the significance of the yellow/amber/orange credits? Will I miss a massive “clue,” get it all wrong, and have a bizarre idiosyncratic reaction that no one else can agree with or even understand?

My resistance to Lost-style theorizing isn’t a condemnation of the fine folks who enjoy that activity. I was deeply invested in Lost, but for me those off-hours spent diagramming missile trajectories, plotting connections, and re-reading Philip K. Dick books just didn’t pay off. I (now) maintain that the writers and producers of many TV shows put in little Easter eggs to please fans, but I don’t choose to spend time trying to find an “answer,” because that makes me lose sight of the forest for the trees. Instead, a la Pauline Kael, I ask myself: “What happened to me as I watched Fringe?”

The answer to that is simple: it made me sad. Not sad for Fringe, which is still at the top of its game (and has been for a while). Not sad for the fandom, which got numerous tasty eggs to feast on, along with some meaty plot. Rather, I’m sad at the sadness our characters are experiencing. Peter’s loss seems to have created a psychic (in the sense of a psyche, not ESP) abyss within all those who were closest to him before his disappearance. Fringe without Peter is a sad story. We can only hope that when he returns—as I assume he will, using my mighty powers of ratiocination—Fringe will once again become a story of glorious possibilities rather than defeated impossibilities.

Olivia said to Lincoln Lee, ““I know what it’s like to have a hole in my life. It’s been there as long as I can remember.” In addition to the loss of her partner three years ago (did she mean FBI-partner Francis, or love-partner John Scott?), she’s haunted by a sense of loss. In the Fringe we’re used to, the sudden loss of John Scott was eventually balanced out by the family—Peter, Walter, and Astrid—that Olivia gained. But now Walter is crazy but not wackily endearing, Peter is missing, and Astrid is still an enigma. I just can’t picture Olivia and Astrid going out for cosmos after a day spent hunting translucent shapeshifters. Olivia (now) is still looking for answers that Olivia (last season) already found.

Those self-same translucent human shapeshifters (the THSSs) robbed Lincoln “Clark Kent” Lee of his ersatz family—something he never thought he’d find. The loss of his partner hits him hard, but that loss also provides him with a point of commonality with Olivia. It’s as though he has learned how to speak a new, melancholic language that allows him to communicate with Olivia in her native tongue.

They’re still learning each other’s vocabulary, though. Olivia is back to her old resistance, familiar to us from Season One. Lincoln Lee, in this world, just seems like a restrained guy: he can be open with Robert and his family, but is more reserved and shy with strangers. He can certainly hold his own, but he doesn’t open up easily. (Okay, okay. I admit it. You’ve all read my list of datable characters. Lincoln Lee is now on that list. I do have a type, don't I?)

The impossibility of communication—symbolized most obviously by the problems with cell phone reception—haunts this episode. Openness, the ability and willingness to share oneself, has always been at the heart of Fringe’s idea of happiness. That openness must exist within secrecy, of course: as Lincoln Lee’s willingness to expose the Fringe Division to public scrutiny reminded us, these world(s)-altering events are still under wraps to the general public, at least on this side.

Communication between Here and There isn’t all peachy, either. While the two Fringe teams seem to be engaged in active file-sharing (which, oddly, reminds me of the reasons Homeland Security was created), they’re still playing a game of knowledge cat-and-mouse. Ourlivia asked Fauxlivia about the THSSs, and Fauxlivia just smiled. Did she know? Does she not know, but want to avoid even revealing that? Walternate’s devious tricks know no bounds, and we know that he doesn’t favor openness with even his closest of employees.

Walter, on the other hand…Oh, Walter. Without anything or anyone to “tether him to this world,” he can’t master himself in the world—to the point that he doesn’t exist in the world, only in the lab. He said, “I don’t think there’s anything sadder than when two people are meant to be together and something intervenes.” He must have been thinking of Peter, the child he evidently lost twice. Like Olivia, his loss haunts him: he feels not just the death of his child but the loss of his adult son, even if he can’t understand why. And he doesn’t even know that the man he sees (in reflective surfaces!) is precisely what he is missing.

Very Clever

• Walter: “The thing about playing devil’s advocate…is that your client is the devil himself.”

• Walter: “I need to check her anus. Have that large lady there help you lift her.”

• Lincoln Lee: “One of these things is not like the other.” He’s said this before.

• Lincoln Lee: “Not from here? Like, China?”

• Olivia: “Sometimes answers lead to more questions.”

• TV Infomercial: “Set it, and forget it!”

• Olivia: “Long drive.” Finally! Acknowledgment that not everything is within 10 minutes of Harvard.

• I’m going with “amber” for the credits, because it seems like I might as well pick a team.

• In Jasper Fforde’s Shades of Grey, isn’t toast outlawed? Or am I having panary hallucinations?

• Olivia without Peter is also Olivia without a flat-iron.

• Blue support beams on the Over Here path to the bridge, amber lights closer to the bridge. Is it safe to assume the support beams Over There are red?

• (Yes, that screenshot is from last season. His hair looked so much better then.)

• I’m excited to learn about what’s going on Over There. Specifically: the baby. And what’s up with the THSSs. And when Peter’s coming back, especially since the Observer didn’t activate his doohicky. And everything, everything, everything.

I said above that I feel sad at the sadness our characters are experiencing. I also feel sad with them. I had a hard time “getting” Olivia in the first season, but now that I know how she can be, I empathize with her, in the understated despair. It’s not easy for a show to get us to feel so deeply with a character. It’s not easy for a show to so succinctly express a character’s point of view in the midst of a radical world-shift. And it’s not easy for a show to use such a sad character as our entry point to understanding the scientific and emotional rules of this semi-familiar world. Way to go, Fringe.

Four out of four engagement rings.

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Person of Interest: Pilot

Reese : “Bad things happen to people every day. You can't stop that.”
Finch: “What if you could?”

From what we’ve seen in its very fast-paced pilot, Person of Interest looks like a promising show. We were introduced to the two core characters, Reese and “Finch”, well enough to know they are three-dimensional, but more than enough was left to keep them mysterious.


Reese is a badass. The kind that enters a room full of armed thugs, aware that he can disarm and disable them. Oh, and shoot them in the legs. He really likes to shoot people in the legs. A former government agent, he’s a homeless drunk when we first meet him. Through flashbacks, we learn he was ready to give up the CIA so he could spend more time with the woman he loved, Jessica, of whom we knew almost nothing.

But then 9/11 came and his dreams were shattered. It was implied that he felt he couldn’t abandon his country after such a terrible event, so he re-enlisted, and as consequences of that action, he lost Jessica and drifted into his hobo lifestyle, among others. He is played by the very talented Jim Caviezel, famous for being the most tortured Jesus Christ in the history of movies.

Finch doesn’t disclose his real name, so we’ll have to make do with the alias for now. Played creepily as usual by Michael Emerson, shares some traits with his other famous character, Benjamin Linus. Both have impressive resources and don’t hesitate to use them to find a striking way of proving a point. But, unlike Ben, Finch claims he will never lie to Reese. Did you believe it?

He is a somewhat handicapped millionaire who worked on making his fortune grow until 9/11. Then, he built a machine to help the government prevent another terrorist attack using the cameras and microphones spread all around the big cities such as New York. The non-terrorist tips that were being ignored ate away at him, so he decided to do something to stop premeditated crimes from happening, and hires Reese to do the heavy lifting for him. And he doesn’t like firearms.

He has no official access to the machine anymore, so he only gets the social security number of someone involved in the crime. He has to stay on the fringe, otherwise he’ll get noticed.

The Case of the Week:

We were briefly introduced to ADA Diane Hansen, seemingly a damsel in distress. Then there was a rushed game of tag between people who could be behind it all, leading up to a group of crooked cops, and back to Hansen as the mastermind. I was not surprised. Or interested.

Bits and Pieces:

- Caviezel’s performance in the pilot is very intense. Will he be able to keep it up for long before having a stroke?

- Reese is not Batman. He kills if he judges it necessary.

- The producers were smart when dealing with such a sensitive topic as 9/11. They didn’t minimize the tragedy, but pulled no punches, criticizing the policy of turning a blind eye to everything except terror.

- I bet Finch was inside the WTC when it was hit, and it was then he was crippled. Probably lost the one he loved as well.

- Reese’s beard looked so fake, it reminded me of Tom Friendly.

- Reese was watching Seven Samurai, I think. There’s a badass drunk samurai in that movie, too.

- Lack of privacy and conspiracies. This is a perfect show for paranoia.

- The sequence where they introduce Pope was particularly rushed. Blink and you’ll miss the thread.

- Almost forgot to mention Lionel, but there’s little to say about him. We’ll know better in future episodes.

Quotes:

Reese: “You know, it's funny. Seems like the only time you need a name now is when you're in trouble. Am I in trouble?”

Stills: “Who are you?”

Reese: “Concerned third party?”

Finch: “I recognize, Mr. Reese, that there's a disparity between how much I know about you and how much you know about me. I know you'll be trying to close that gap as quickly as possible. But I should tell you I'm a really private person.”

Reese: “I don’t particularly like killing people, but I’m good at it”

Finch: "I've been watching you for a long time, John."
Now, that line was ripped straight from Lost.

I liked this pilot, but was not awed. I’ll definitely tune in next week, though. ... Read full post

Supernatural: Meet the New Boss

"We all saw him. No beard, no robe. He was young and sexy. He had a raincoat."

Sometimes I think I'm just a one-woman Supernatural cheering squad. But this was an excellent season premiere, wasn't it?

I don't know what tickled me more: Castiel's holy rampage across America, Crowley hiding out in a trailer in Tennessee drinking cheap scotch, or that entire break-in scene with the Castiel-Death confrontation. The Winchesters are accustomed to interacting with angels, Horsemen, monsters and gods, although Bobby and Sam were a bit freaked by Death. Who knows what that poor couple thought?

Am I twisted for being a little sad that Castiel didn't get to be God for awhile longer? Smiting homophobes, white supremacists, politicians and motivational speakers, disbanding the KKK, controlling who goes to Hell, I swear I've had fantasies just like that. I probably wouldn't blow up a publishing house, though. (I wish they'd said which one, although I can guess.) Castiel also healed a blind man. More of that would have been good, of course.

We might have just lost Castiel forever, although we did see him return for a moment, and you never can tell on this show. If this was his swan song, at least he mended fences to some extent when he asked Dean for help. I'm not sure that leviathans sound threatening, but anything that will keep Misha Collins returning is okay by me. (Although as far as I'm concerned, a leviathan is a huge, living ship with escaped prisoners on it.)

(Poor Jimmy. Is he even still in there?)

As usual, the Winchester brothers were on the brink of collapse. Sam wasn't doing so well, what with the Hellraiser slash Lucifer hallucinations. Those *were* hallucinations, weren't they? Or is Lucifer exerting some sort of psychic control from the cage? Dean rallied enough to repair the Impala, but he was again at the point of giving up the fight and spending what time he had left watching Asian cartoon porn on a laptop in Bobby's kitchen. Very Dean. That made me smile.

Just by the way, isn't it a bit contradictory that the boys did the same thing to kill Cass that Cass did to kill Raphael, i.e., forming an alliance with Crowley? Why was it okay for the boys, but not for Cass? Because they're not angels?

Anyway, thank you, Supernatural powers that be, for bringing back Death. I absolutely love Death. Thank you, Supernatural powers that be, for bringing Crowley back, because I love him, too. And it was great seeing Mark Pellegrino again, although not much fun for Sam.

Bits and pieces:

-- The new credits are black and white, sort of like a dripping photographic negative. "Then" was set to "Soul Ride."

-- A field of dead angels. Not something you see every day. It was sort of like a symmetrical piece of abstract art. M.C. Escher.

-- Ever practical, Bobby was the first to kneel before Castiel.

-- The senator that Castiel planned to smite had a Michele Bachmann vibe.

-- I was wondering how they could possibly bring down anyone with Castiel's power, and of course, his vessel burned out, like Lucifer burned out Nick. Supernatural gets a good continuity point.

-- Crowley is always listening to music, and his choices are fun. This time, it was "These Boots are Made for Walking."

-- This episode's Most Obvious Symbolism was probably Sam falling with his hand right on a piece of upturned broken glass. He's broken out of the cage, but there will be some nasty scars.

-- In this season's hair report, Jared's hair was definitely longer. And interestingly, so was Jensen's. This was Dean's first new do in seven seasons, and it looked odd to me. Was his hair darker?

Quotes:

Castiel: "Once you were my favorite pets, before you turned and bit me."

Reverend: "Someone has to speak for God."
Castiel: "And who says you speak for God? You're wrong. I am utterly indifferent to sexual orientation."

Reverend: "Okay. Fun's over, friend."
Castiel: "Tell your flock where your genitals have been before you speak to me."

Sam: "Motivational speakers?"
Dean: "Yeah. I'm not sure new Cass gets irony even better than old Cass."

Castiel: "Hello, Crowley. You look stressed."
Crowley: "Bollocks."

Crowley: "Fancy a drink before you smite me?"

Dean: "I just pray to God it's true."
Bobby: "We need to come up with a new saying for that."

Dean: "Who feels like hog-tying Death tonight?"
Bobby: "Old age is overrated, anyhow."

Dean: "Excuse me. You got any Grey Poupon?"

Death: "I know God. And you, sir, are no God."

Death: "Try to bind me again, you'll die before you start. Nice pickle chips, by the way."

Lucifer: "Hi, Sam. Long time, no spooning."
Ick.

Castiel: "I really overreached." Gee, you think?

Four out of four fried pickle chips,

Billie

... Read full post

Warehouse 13: Insatiable

… in which Pete and Myka attempt to identify the artifact causing apparent zombie attacks. Meanwhile, Claudia continues to struggle with Jinks’s firing.

Zombies. Why did it have to be zombies? Sigh.

Okay, okay. I know the artifact victims weren’t actually zombies, but they were pretty much treated like zombies for the bulk of the hour, and it all came down to a moment in which one character was trapped by a horde in a single-minded feeding frenzy, so close enough. Sigh. I find zombies incredibly dull, and Claudia’s love life is something the writers have never been able to make interesting, so other than a few laughs here and there, this episode didn’t really do much for me. I didn’t actively hate it or anything, I just found it rather “meh” and a bit of a chore to get through. (At least I was able to fast-forward through most of it on the rewatch.)

Even the final reveal of the artifact and how it came to be was a little underwhelming. I like the idea of something associated with the Donner Party turning people into monsters suffering from hypothermia and an insatiable hunger, but the item being a jar that was triggered by putting money into it was just bizarre. I give the writers credit for keeping me guessing through most of the episode, but the ultimate answer to this mystery was less than satisfying.

The only bits keeping ‘Insatiable’ from being entirely disposable were the snippets with Jinks. His harsh attempt to sever his relationship with Claudia, and his later smile when he received her “you can’t get rid of me that easily” text, just confirmed for me that he’s playing a role here. He needed to appear burned and completely cut off from his friends, so that Team Evil would come knocking. Which, of course, they did.

I liked the way Jinks worked the recruitment scene. Before the “mole” idea occurred to me, I thought the notion that he would turn to the dark side because Mrs. Frederic tortured Agent Sally was patently ridiculous. It made sense that he would object to her methods, but why would he then throw in his lot with a group that uses those same methods? Highly illogical. So I was very glad to see the issue addressed here. “You people are murderers. […] Why would I work for you?” Given that the Warehouse burned him so thoroughly he’s now got “no career, no prospects, no future,” I can see how “the enemy of my enemy” would, in fact, have some appeal. On the surface at least. I don’t actually believe Jinks would be that easy to sway, but since he’s likely still working for the good guys, I’m cool with the rationale presented. And he very effectively sold himself as a “reluctant” recruit. Well played, Jinksy!

Other Thoughts

Ithaca! I love Ithaca. Especially this time of year. Ithaca is Gorges!

The continued presence of the Warehouse dog amuses me.

Pete: “If some psycho tried to off your mother, wouldn’t you want payback?”
Artie: “You never met my mother.”

Myka couldn’t recognize a human bite mark? Seriously? At least she knew how to use her Tesla this week.

Myka: “It kind of sounded like he said ‘Peas. Elk. Bison.’”
Pete: “Well, at least there’s some vegetables in there.”

Artie: “I changed my mind. I’m mercurial. Deal with it.”
Claudia: “Not exactly the adjective I’d use right now.”

I feel like we haven’t really seen enough of the Claudia and Jinks pairing to buy into the idea that she considers him her very best friend in the whole wide world. I know they care about each other, but they weren’t partners for that long. Would they really become besties so quickly? It feels a little forced. Then again … after seeing how cagey Claudia had to be with the musician --- and knowing how isolated she was for most of her life --- I guess it does make a certain amount of sense that she would quickly bond to someone with whom she was able to have such open, honest communication.

The mouse skittering across the floor in the basement of the frat house cracked me up. It totally looked like a phony mouse on wheels getting dragged! Ridiculously fake!

Myka’s hair was kind of curly again this week. Yea!

Artie’s attempts to connect with the first victim’s son were painfully awkward. Please, no more forcing Artie to interact with young children! Dogs, yes. Children, no.

Claudia threatening the “Sultan of Suckwad” was hilarious. “It’s on.”

So not a fan of the Claudia romance stories, but I did like how she laid things out for Duane at the end. “Listen, Duane, this is the warning label on Claudia Donovan, okay? Stuff happens to me. A lot. Sometimes weird stuff, sometimes bad stuff. But, it puts things in perspective. I never know what fresh hell tomorrow’s gonna bring.”

Final Analysis: Zombies. Meh.

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Vampire Diaries: The Hybrid

“Here, doggy doggy.”

Was this episode perfect? Yes, it was perfect. Hilarious, touching, fast-paced, tense, covered in blood and gore. And Alaric is adorable even before his morning coffee.

Let’s take a minute to meditate on the triangle of self-sacrifice. Stefan has sacrificed himself and his morality to save Damon’s life. Damon is sacrificing his desire for Elena out of gratitude to his brother. And Elena, who lacks even an iota of self-preservation, is willing to put her life on the line to rescue her “off the rails” boyfriend because she senses that he hasn’t entirely lost his humanity.

There’s also a great deal of (perfectly reasonable) selfishness going on. Elena is willing to cause all sorts of trouble to get her boyfriend back. Damon will help Elena rescue Stefan, but he wants his good deeds to be acknowledged—he wants her to remember how she feels about him, the same way that he wanted her to forget how he felt about her in “Rose” last season. I will continue to maintain that Stefan enjoys being a “martyr” (as Damon puts it) and getting to enjoy his daily feast with a healthy side of daily guilt.

Maybe I shouldn’t call all of that selfishness. Maybe I should call it hope-filled desire. Alaric’s desire to check out turned out to be motivated by his lack of hope about having a family, but Elena, patron saint of lost causes, has brought him back into the fold. Jeremy and Matt want closure on Vicki’s death: a last moment that they know is the last moment and can remember later. Klaus wants just what Alaric wants: a family to replace those he has lost.

Luckily, Klaus doesn’t have a super-useful Elena on his side. His “domino effect” plan to create an army of hybrid “comrades” luckily didn’t work: they all went rabid or bled out. Will Klaus realize that one item on his to-do list shouldn’t be crossed off? He came darn close to seeing Elena in the Tennessee woods.

Elena, Damon, Alaric, and Klaus all started the process of re-thinking their relationships tonight. Elena voiced her concern for Damon; Damon began the slow process of making his case to Elena; Alaric re-joined the Gilbert household; and Klaus began to realize that communism just isn’t a viable option, especially if the hybrid/zombie/mountain-men aren’t sufficiently industrialized to count as a true proletariat.

Mrs. Lockwood also found out about, and came to terms with, her son’s occasionally-hirsute inner nature. Sadly, she is still not a fan of the melanin-deficient. Caroline, looking even more beautiful than ever, is locked in a room, chained to a chair, about to be subjected to…a chat from Daddy? The writers/producers do know that Caroline is off-limits, right? Repeat after me: She must not be killed. She must not be killed. She must not be killed. (I will not spend time on the weirdly reverse-Oedipal hatred Carol Lockwood has for Caroline Forbes and Tyler’s previous girlfriends.)

Bites:

• Elena: “You’re the one who said I could handle things on my own now.”
Alaric: “I meant frozen dinners and SATs.”

• Matt: “Is this the kind of thing you need another person for?” Like moving a mattress?

• Elena: “You were a Boy Scout, weren’t you? A Boy Scout-slash-vampire-slayer?”
Alaric: “Slash-whiskey-drinking-all-around-lost-cause.”

• Alaric: “Why don’t you save [the ring] for future generations of stubborn, relentless baby Gilberts?”
Elena: “Okay, how ‘bout you borrow it until we survive this? I’d feel bad if I got you killed before happy hour.”

• Alaric: “Are you guys twelve?”

• Elena: “Rick, here, take these [vervain covered ropes].”
Damon: “Ahhh!”
Elena: “I said ‘Rick!’”

• Alaric: “Let the vampire fight the hybrid/zombie/mountain-man.”

• Anna: “Jeremy, don’t trust Vicki.”

• Damon: “He’s an insufferable martyr who needs his ass kicked.”

• Damon: “You had a bag full of weapons and a teacher with an eternity ring. You could have kept going.”

• Damon: “When I drag my brother from the edge and bring him back to you, I want you to remember the things you felt when he was gone.”

And Pieces:

• Why did Alaric raise his crossbow when Damon pushed Elena into the river? Did he momentarily worry she was really Katherine? (Did you?)

• Did anyone get a Lost vibe from the tramping through the woods?

• It’s so Caroline to still call Tyler’s mom “Mrs. Lockwood” even after she has locked her up.

• Random compliment: Damon joked to Alaric “Do you remember where I parked my car?” It’s a neat way of acknowledging that Damon arrived separately, and that he and Elena didn’t have a chance to talk on the ride back from the mountains (hence the bedroom scene). Thank you, VD, for practicing safe continuity.

Wit, blood, and suspense aside, it was the personal, two-person scenes that really made this episode wonderful. Alaric and Elena, Elena and Damon, Damon and Stefan—and Stefan and Elena’s “Pangs” moment in the woods—were beautifully perfect. Each one had a perfect tension: family, sex, brotherliness, true love.

I love this show.

Four out of four HRGs.
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