Farscape: Family Ties


Before Moya’s crew can use their newly acquired navigational charts to escape the asteroid field, Rygel steals a transport pod and surrenders himself to Scorpius and Crais intending to betray his shipmates in exchange for his freedom. When things don’t go as planned, the crew forges a surprising alliance and devises a desperate escape plan.

Wow. Just wow. My expectations for the season finale were high after the awesomeness of ‘Nerve’ and ‘The Hidden Memory,’ and ‘Family Ties’ did not disappoint. It was funny, poignant, and action-packed; chock full of unexpected twists and turns, shocking alliances, and not-so-shocking betrayals. Even better, the episode managed to give us an exciting, make-or-break escape attempt without sacrificing the quiet moments between characters --- moments built on character arcs and relationships developed over the entire season, which completely earned their emotional impact. And, oh yeah, it ended with a killer cliffhanger. In other words, quintessential Farscape.

What I love about this show is that it never forgets that the best stories are built on strong characters and relationships, and this hour was jam-packed with fantastic moments, large and small, that prove the point. I could easily spend the rest of this review discussing all the ones that made me smile, cry, or hoot with glee. John and Aeryn discussing their fathers. John and Zhaan saying goodbye. Chiana attempting to thank John with --- ahem --- favors. Aeryn and Crais on Talyn. Crais being deemed irrevocably contaminated. John and Aeryn refusing to say goodbye. John and D’Argo on the transport. Scorpius growling when he knew Crichton bested him. The Gammak Base exploding while Scorpius looking on in disgust. Aeryn pleading with Crais not to take Talyn away from his mother. And on and on ...

But my top three moments were Aeryn and Pilot in Pilot’s den, Crais’s arrival on Moya, and Crais and Crichton in the brig. All three of these scenes worked so wonderfully because of the character histories and their shared experience this season.

The scene between Aeryn and Pilot never fails to make me cry. I’m tempted to say I’m just a sucker for Claudia Black’s waterworks, but this moment so beautifully reflected their history and the bond they’ve developed, that I probably would have cried regardless. I was incredibly touched by Pilot hesitantly noting that Aeryn could easily save herself and her gentle reassurance that she wouldn’t abandon them, but when Pilot said that Moya “doesn’t want her son named by the Peacekeepers” --- wow. Such a simple statement, but one that says so much about how far they’ve come, especially Aeryn. Her response couldn’t have been more perfect. “Please tell Moya, that it remains my honor to name her son. It will be a good, strong name that he will bear proudly. In freedom. If I have anything to say about it.” So powerful. So deeply felt. OK, I’m crying again. Fantastic stuff.

Then there was Crais’s arrival --- what’s not to love about this scene? From “And please, whatever your reaction, don’t let it include weapons fire” to “By the goddess, that’s insane” to “There is much in life that is unfair. We are all proof of that,” the scene was impossibly tense, surprising, and funny. Plus, it included the shocking reveal that Crais knew D’Argo was falsely imprisoned and gave all of them the brief satisfaction of D’Argo’s “unarmed” vengeance. Hell, yeah.

As for the moment between Crichton and Crais, I loved it because it was so completely unexpected. After all they’ve been through, who would have thought we’d see Crichton and Crais calmly and earnestly discussing what brought them to this point and the terrible toll it’s taken? Or that we’d ever see Crais acknowledge his brother’s death was an accident and express a modicum of remorse for his actions? “I understand you didn’t mean to kill my brother. It was accident. I realize that now, as I look back and try to understand it all.” Scorpius really did a number on Crais. Nothing like “feeling your mortality” to put things into perspective. “I thought it was about my brother. It should have been about my brother. Somewhere along the way my priorities decayed. I realized, I’d become more concerned with my own image and career.” This is a very intriguing turn for the character, and despite his self-interested betrayal in the end, I look forward to seeing more of the new Crais.

Other Thoughts

Rygel can be such a little bastard. Not that we didn’t already know this, but damn, Sparky. Selling out Moya and your shipmates after all they’ve done for you? That’s cold. And he was so absolutely remorseless about it. “You bet your shiny blue ass, I did. But I didn’t. So make the most of it now.” At least until Crichton called him out and told him good intentions start at the beginning of the day, not after you’ve been caught. That seemed to give him a twinge of shame. And in the end he did refuse to leave when the going got rough. We’ll see how long this latest turn for the better lasts.

I loved the reference to the “alien girl” Scorpius adopted and his query about what happened to the security officer he detailed to her. Tee hee!

Scorpius apparently can read minds or body language. He definitely knew when Rygel was lying. Crais noted that Scorpius is a “Scarran half-breed.” Scarrans must be hella scary.

I liked that they returned, one last time, to Crichton recording notes in a bottle for his dad. “Why don’t I just start screaming and leave him a really happy memory?”

We finally got confirmation that Aeryn did meet “Jack” in ‘A Human Reaction.’

We also got some new tidbits about Aeryn’s history. She knows almost nothing about her parents, but she does know she was not the result of a genetic birthing to fill the ranks. Her parents cared for each other and chose to have her.

One look at Crais on Talyn, and it was obviously trouble. He perked right up and seemed much more the confident captain. He even tried to woo Aeryn into escaping with him. They should have known he’d try to steal the ship.

I still want to know where the hell Stark is. They obviously weren’t all that far from the Gammak Base, so where did he get off to? Did he take a transport?

I loved the detonation effect when the transport hit the moon’s surface. “Ignition. Look at that mother burn! Woo hoo!”

I confess. I got teary when Rygel said “Goodbye,” as Moya starburst away.

I’m sad that Crichton’s good luck charm is gone! Wasn’t that his mother’s wedding ring?

Quotes

Damn, I just wanted to quote this whole freaking episode. I tried to limit myself to the choicest selections, but this section is still kind of long.

D’Argo (to Rygel): [Unintelligible threats in alien language.]
Crichton: “What the hell did you just say?”
Chiana: “Something about his corpse, and a ... bodily function.”
Crichton: “Oh, that’ll help.”

Crichton (re: Rygel’s plan): “Is it possible he’s just stalling for us?”
[Incredulous looks all around.]

Crichton: “Well, I can tell you this for free: I will not be taken alive. I’ve been in their goddamn chair and I’m not going back in it.”

Crichton: “If we’re gonna go down, I wanna go down swinging.”
D’Argo: “Then we shall do so together.”
Aeryn: “Oh. Just to be in the warm glow of all this testosterone.”

Chiana: “Don’t tell me how to lie. It’s one of the best things I do!”

Crichton: “Well, it’s a Jerry Springer kind of family. But for what it’s worth, Zhaan, you are family.”

Aeryn: “When I was very young, one night, a soldier appeared over my bunk. Battle-hardened. Scarred.”
Crichton: “Cool. Your father.”
Aeryn: “My mother.”

Aeryn: “So. Is there anything you want to say to me?”
Crais: “I think we covered it all when you left me for dead in the Aurora Chair.”
Aeryn: “Good.”

Zhaan (disgusted): “So you decided to take pity on poor, Captain Crais.”
Rygel: “I don’t take pity on orphans, much less that butcher.”

D’Argo: “I thought I would live much longer.”
Aeryn: “I never thought I would live this long.”

Chiana: “You saved my life.”
Crichton: “Pass it on.”
Chiana: “What?”
Crichton: “When someone else needs it, return the favor. You pass it on.”

Crais: “Your intelligence would qualify significantly for promotion.”
Aeryn: “Pity. I don’t think a referral from you would mean anything now.”

Crichton: “Sparky, Spanky, Fluffy, Buckwheat the Sixteenth ... you tried to sell us out.”
Rygel: “But I didn’t, did I?”
Crichton: “They weren’t buying. Were they?”

D’Argo (re: Zhaan’s pre-battle blessing): “I hate this stuff.”
Crichton: “Chicks love it.”

Crichton: “How you doing?”
D’Argo: “I have to pee.”
This quote would be funny all on its own, but I recently re-watched The Right Stuff, so I found it even funnier.

Braca: “What should we do?”
Scorpius: “Admire Crichton his strategy. [...] I cannot risk killing the knowledge that he possesses. [Voice lowers to a scary grumble] And he knows that.”

Crichton: “How come I’m not afraid?”
D’Argo: “Fear accompanies the possibility of death. Calm shepherds its certainty.”
Crichton: “I love hanging with you, man.”

Aeryn: “You cannot take a child from its mother!”
Crais: “You forget. It was done to me, and it was done to you.”

Crichton: “Rygel, this is not the time to give up selfishness. Starburst!”

Final Analysis: Despite a cliffhanger ending that left me teary and mentally screaming “Noooo!!!” this season finale satisfied on nearly every level.

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Eureka: Alienated


... in which Spencer hijacks a Global Dynamics satellite for his illicit movie night, causing a weapons demonstration to go awry during a U.S. Congressman’s budget review tour.

Although it was a rather funny take on the dangers of illegal downloading, I didn’t really care for this one. Anytime one or more core characters succumb to a pack mentality and become overly aggressive, I get flashbacks of ‘The Pack’ from Buffy. Shudder. At least in this case, Carter came to the rescue before anyone did something truly terrible. Sure Congressman Faraday appears to be in evil league with Beverly, but dissecting him probably would have been taking things a bit too far.

I did enjoy the exploration of the Carter-Jo relationship. I haven’t actually seen any indication that Jo was harboring resentment toward Carter because he got promoted ahead of her. I attributed any surliness we’ve seen to her general demeanor. But I still liked how their amusing contest of wills over access to the advanced weaponry rack degenerated into a real hashing out of their issues. And I was genuinely touched by Carter’s declaration in Taggart’s lab, “You’re not an appendage, Jo, you’re my partner. And there’s no one in this town that I’d rather have watching my back than you, and that’s the truth.” I’m glad she decided to trust him, and it was nice to see them working together at the end.

This episode also delved back into the series’ overarching mythology, as we learned that Beverly and Congressman Faraday work with a group called “the Consortium” and they have a very strong interest in “the Artifact,” which is under top secret lockdown in Section 5. The Artifact appears to be a glowing object surrounded by swirling red-orange light. It apparently emits high levels of extremely dangerous radiation. Stark says it is terrestrial in origin, but GD can’t figure out who created it. “Oh my God.” “That’s one theory.” He also states that it already has “change[d] everything.” Very interesting.

Other Thoughts

Very clever title, playing on both the alien invasion aspect and the isolating effects of fear and paranoia. Like Alien Nation.

Loved the X-Files alien abduction spotlight and the crop circles.

Jo: “Sorry. You can’t enforce the rules, if you’re not willing to follow them first. Better hit the books.”

I was amused by Garwin Sanford playing a stereotypical, smarmy Congressman. He was such a nice guy on Stargate: SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis!

According to Beverly, Stark lives to push boundaries and leave his mark, and pride is his greatest sin. I think that’s true to a certain extent, but I also think he truly cares about the scientific progress advanced at Global Dynamics, as well as the citizens of Eureka. He certainly hesitated to give the order to shoot when special ops had Jo in their sights.

Allison: “So everybody’s OK?”
Carter: “Oh no. They’re freaking bugnuts. Restraints. Now.”

One of the advanced weapons was called the “BMFG Liquidator.” Hilarious!

Final Analysis: It was nice to spend some more time with the secondary characters, but overall I wasn’t too keen on this one.

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Vampire Diaries: The House Guest


“You deserved it.”

Fire theme, anyone? Caroline’s eternal flame continues to burn for Matt, Luka underwent some poetic fire-justice, and Elijah is immune to the flamethrower. Too bad, Mark Greig: it was a good idea.


So very many things happened in this episode that I’m not sure I can do it all justice. I’m not even sure I can fall back on witty sub-headings, either, as all of the plot threads came together in the end—just as the flamethrower we saw in Act I became relevant (and frightening) by Act III. (Chekov has nothing on Kevin Williamson.) But I will try anyway. And I will do so by including the Buffy quotes that occurred to me as I watched:

Luka, Dr. Martin, and the Witches
“We've got maybe seconds before Darth Rosenberg grinds everybody into jawa-burgers, and not one of you bunch has the midiclorians to stop her."

Katherine’s return at the end of the last episode meant that I was looking stage right when I should have been focused stage left, on the creepy Doc Martin and his tragic son Luka. A few episodes ago, the werewolves managed to come across as creeps on account of their wholesale hatred of the vampires. Doc Martin now fills that role, trusting Elijah rather than our heroes, even though we know that’s a terrible idea. Doc Martin also proved himself willing to cross numerous lines to get his daughter back/avenge Elijah’s death. His blindness to his own complicity in Luka’s really, really horrific death was astonishing, and it really shows that VD crafts its most compelling villains just by making them lack any empathy or sense of perspective.

The Evil Doctor’s super-charged destruction also showed just how Dark Willow the witches can get. They are incredibly powerful, and their loyalties seem to shift. It’s good that Doc Martin returned Bonnie’s powers…until she decides to cause the kind of destruction that we now know witches are capable of.

Caroline and Matt
"Love makes you do the wacky."

I should have hated Caroline’s serenade to Matt. There’s a fine line between cheesy and wonderful, though, and VD managed to stay on the side of the good. Caroline has a strong voice, and her actions fit her character perfectly: using her compulsion powers to act out a rock-star fantasy. And Matt loved it! So cute! As we all know, though, cute relationship moments inevitably lead to death and destruction. Caroline was really between a rock and a hard place: let her boyfriend die, or clue him into the supernatural? The best part about that scene was when Matt conjured the specter of Vicky out of the blue. It is the first thing he would think of, and his reaction makes perfect sense. Now Caroline is doomed to super-cute vampire sadness, though, which likely involves copious amounts of B-positive ice-cream and repeated viewings of The Notebook.

Alaric, Jenna, and Isobel
"Still a couple of nice guys out there."

Jenna’s not the most popular character on VD, and more’s the pity. She manages to play both the mom role and the normal-friend role quite well, and I desperately want Alaric to find interlocking happiness in her arms. Alaric, though, continues to hedge his bets about telling her what’s going on with all the supernatural elements, which is having the bizarre result of allowing John Gilbert/ Sark! to intrude into their relationship. Now that Isobel is back in town, things can only get worse. I’m especially worried about Jenna’s potential longevity, because if she dies, it would mean Elena would have to stay in Mystic Falls until Jeremy graduated from high school, which gives the show a way out of the awkward college transition so many teen dramas struggle with.

Stefan, Damon, and Katherine
“I love syphilis more than you.”

Stefan and Damon continue to search for the place where Emily Bennett and a previous generation of witches were killed, because witches release a magical energy when they die. (Which means that now Elena’s bathroom is…special?) Katherine helped, in a selfish sort of way, but Stefan and Damon kept her in the dark about their discovery, and then she figured it out later. Oh, well.

Katherine also revealed a bit of her previous plans this week, and it turns out she rejected Damon again by choosing Stefan’s unlife over his. What is that, three or four times now? Damon continues to be surprised when she does this to him, which makes him possibly the naivest vampire in Mystic Falls. His rejection of Katherine in the bedroom scene at the end was both hilarious and poignant—he wanted her, she wanted him, but he wanted his pride even more. That may be a step in the right direction.

Elena and Katherine
”Lot of opportunities of bawdy French farce.”

The flamethrower wasn’t the only device to pop up again. Katherine played Elena quite well in the opening scene (I was certainly confused), mostly just to mess with Stefan’s and Damon’s respective heads. Katherine managed to convince Dr. Martin of her Elenaness just long enough to kill him, which was either terrible over-reaction or completely appropriate.

But now that’s he’s out of the way and the werewolves are gone, we’re left with Isobel as our latest Big Bad. And we’re left with a wait until April 7th to find out what happens next.

Bites:

• Elena: “Bonnie is freaked because she lost her powers, and Caroline is having Matt drama again.” That sums things up, doesn’t it? Supernatural destruction and boyfriend trouble are equally important.

• Caroline: “You are going to let me live out my rock star fantasies and you are going to be my back-up.”

• Katherine: You were mean, and very rough, and monstrous.”
Damon: “You deserved it.”
Katherine: “I liked it.”
Damon: “Katherine, there are six other bedrooms in this house. Go find one.”

This is definitely my most disorganized review ever—and it has gone through numerous drafts. It’s not just that numerous major plot points came and went. Rather, VD managed to bring all the plots together, resolving some stories, putting others on the back burner, and introducing new ones. It’s sort of remarkable, really. And that’s why it earns:

Four out of four eternal flames.
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Supernatural: The French Mistake


Dean: "I feel like this whole place is bad-touching me."

This episode wasn't just out of the box; it carried itself out to the UPS truck. I'll be the first to admit that it didn't advance the core story a whole heckuva lot, but sometimes funny and clever are enough.

And I mean exceptionally funny and clever. Like the aquarium, fireplace and helicopter in Jensen's dressing room, with a clip of the boys in the background winking at the camera. Jared's over the top mansion with the Warhol prints, tanning bed and suits of armor, complete with an alpaca in the back yard and the International Otter Adoption Charity Dinner. During the scene where Dean and Sam were playing Jensen and Jared playing Dean and Sam, I was laughing so hard I had tears coming out of my eyes.

Misha Collins was a treat, too. Alt-Misha's interpretation of screen Castiel included a much deeper voice and just the right amount of cheese. The tweets were a fun shout-out to the fans who follow him. And a snowflake sweater and Elvis hairdo? Actually, even though it was impossible to take seriously, it upset me watching Misha die. But that was before Virgil the heavenly hit man killed nearly everyone else on the set, too.

There wasn't a ton of serious, but it was interesting serious. The idea that Supernatural is set in another universe is sort of "duh" because all fiction is set in another universe. But even though there were no angels, demons, heaven or hell, evil did follow the boys, like it always does. I also thought it was interesting that "Jensen" and "Jared" weren't speaking. It felt like a reference to the recent separation between Dean and Sam, and the fact that they're back together now. And I liked that Sam was willing to give up a world without monsters because he wasn't Dean's brother there.

Balthazar was a lot more fun this time. "Raffy and Cassie." I finally like him. And Raphael has recovered from being turned into a pillar of salt and now he's a chick? Are we finally getting to the war in heaven? I've been waiting. *tap tap tap*

Bits and pieces:

-- "The French Mistake" is the title of a production number in the classic Mel Brooks comedy, Blazing Saddles. Dom DeLuise is directing male dancers in top hats and tails, the western characters from the rest of the movie burst in, and the fourth wall literally comes down. It's pretty much the perfect title for this episode. (And here it is on Youtube.)

-- Genevieve Cortese was listed as Genevieve Padalecki. She hasn't officially changed her name, has she?

-- I follow Misha Collins on Twitter, and he's wonderfully weird and imaginative. Obviously, he doesn't do the sort of tweeting we saw in the episode. http://twitter.com/mishacollins

-- KM Motion Picture Studios. Kim Manners? That was nice.

-- Bobby has the blood of a lamb and the wristbone of a lesser saint in his house. Of course he does. Wouldn't it have been fun if Jim Beaver had played "Bob Singer"?

-- Personally, I loved that the Supernatural Powers That Be were willing to satirize themselves so completely, and with so much loving detail. I loved how "Bob Singer" kept saying "season six" as if he was in pain, "Sera" on speakerphone with everyone ignoring her, and "Eric Kripke" in a fatal shootout. Was that from a specific movie?

-- The gun shop scene was right out of Terminator.

-- Loved the maple leafs everywhere. They were even on the crime scene tape.

-- I'm enough of a Star Trek geek that I remember a published Star Trek short story (actually, there were two) with the same plot as this episode, where the actors exchange with their fictional counterparts: "Visit to a Weird Planet" and "Visit to a Weird Planet Revisited."

Quotes:

Dean: "Why would anybody want to watch our lives?"
Sam: "According to the interviewer, not very many people do."

Dean: "So what now, you're Polish?"

Misha: (tweeting) "Hola, Mishamigos. J-Squared got me good."

Dean: "I just want to dig my finger into my brain and scratch until we're back in Kansas." Later on, he called Sam "Toto".

Sam: "Hey. 'J. Ackles'."
Dean: "That's fake me. This must be fake mine."

Dean: "You married fake Ruby?"

Dean: (acting) "Dean, grimly, and somehow you've got no problem with it?"

Sam: "Who wrote this? Nobody says 'penultimate'."
Dean: "Gun. Mouth. Now."

Sera: "Eric's off in some cabin somewhere writing his next pilot."
Bob: "He sold 'OctoCobra'?"
Sera: "Yes."
Bob: "Mother of God. They'll buy anything."

Bum: "The scary man killed the attractive crying man, and then he started to pray."

It's the "I can't believe they actually did an episode like this" creativity that has made me such a die hard fan of this show. It wasn't quite as wonderful as my other two meta favorites, "The Monster at the End of this Book" and "Changing Channels," but I still loved it a lot. Four out of four wristbones of lesser saints,

Billie

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Glee: Blame It On The Alcohol


“My nose is still filled with the acrid stench of teen vomit.”

New Directions discover the delights of the wet devil just as Figgins decides it’s alcohol awareness week, and Sue tries to get Will to check into rehab just as he plans a massive night out with Coach Bieste. The designated drivers look on in horror as we look on with glee.

It was a Berry Good Beer

It was hella fun seeing our beloved New Directions get a little bit wasted, so it didn’t matter that the rise in alcohol-related incidents at McKinley came out of nowhere. I particularly enjoyed Finn’s rundown of the type of drunks the girls became (go go Stripper Brittany), especially since Rachel was the worst of them all. Kudos Lea Michele for doing a great job – I was not only cringing through every scene with the Needy-Girl Drunk, it was also comic gold dust and dare I say it, even oddly sexy. No I don’t dare – alcohol is bad gentle readers, baaaad; well illustrated by the actions of the Blaine and New Directions throughout the episode. Sometimes Glee’s moral messages can be a little unsubtle or heavy-handed, but this week they got the perfect balance. It wasn’t necessary to lay it on thick about how dangerous alcohol can be, the way everyone changed (or vomited) when drunk was warning enough. Figgins did a good job of adding to the comedy while providing a semi-authority figure in place of Will, who seems to have finally hit rock bottom in failing to cope with his myriad problems.

Singing the Roadhouse Booze

Not only did Glee get its message across through the students, Will also behaved atrociously this week, and it made for brilliant TV. After scenes of him hitting on Emma, spotlight from his kids, getting bumpy with Terri and making generally bad decisions all through this season, I thought it was entirely plausible that he would go completely off the rails on a night out. The fact that it involved cowboy hats and a mechanical bull just made it doubly as amusing to watch. Unfortunately he took it too far with the drunk dial, and waaay too far not taking his grading papers seriously. I was pleased when Bieste kissed Will and said ‘I love you’ by way of goodnight; the writers seem to be picking up the thread of that very unwise Will and Bieste kiss in the locker room in Never Been Kissed after all. I’m glad – Bieste is a very sensitive woman and completely understandable that she should develop feelings for the man who first kissed her and who is (most of the time) a genuinely lovely guy. Good luck solving That problem with a kiss, Will.

Bye Bi Blainey

Under Finn’s classification system, I guess Blaine would be closest to a stripper drunk – his libido went so haywire that he got flirty with Finn then Frenchy with Rachel. Drunk Blaine was a lot of fun to watch, and further served to illustrate the damage that can be done with a little booze. Blaine’s experimenting with Rachel could have turned out much worse, but thankfully the only damage done was a little argument between him and Kurt. Kurt’s line: “bisexual is a term that gay guys in high school use when they wanna hold hands with girls and feel normal” was pretty out there. Sure it can be a stepping stone to coming out as gay for some people (I thought I was bi for about 6 months during secondary school – turned out I just liked the girl’s hair) but some people genuinely are bi so I thought that the episode making light of Blaine’s flirtation with bisexuality was a little biphobic. However, it worked very well in the context of the episode with Kurt so desperate for Blaine to be gay and Rachel searching for life experiences to write about in song.

Loved

- Thanks for explaining how Sue got to be Aural Intensity’s Director. That clumsy guy, falling down Two sets of stairs
- Rachel citing Carol King and Gerry Goffin and Joni Mitchell as song writing greats
- We got another awesome group phone call split screen scene – “Noah, it’s Santitney and Artcedes”
- Rachel stepping in front of the Rachel painting. Terrifying and hilarious!
- Rachel’s completely hideous ‘party dress’ – underlining how much she will Never be a fashion icon
- Santana + Britney x Belly Button Tequila Slammers = What I will dream about tonight and hereafter
- Puck finally got Lauren’s bosom for a pillow during Don’t You Want Me
- Great to see New Directions letting go and having fun like that.
- AWWW tousled, sleepy dust, hungover Blaine
- The giant post-drinking sunglasses were only topped by Brittany’s amazing hat-animal!
- Bieste had an insane amount of meat for her lunch
- Kurt was so unsubtle, prying about Rachel and Blaine’s date: “Oh, was that tonight?!”
- Scenes with Burt and Kurt are always gems. He’s a great dad to make soufflé with his kid.
- Some moments in this episode were so ridiculous you just had to laugh, like Kurt making his dad agree to educate himself about gay sex just so he could educate Kurt?
- Becky’s xylophone
- Will’s drunk-dial. So utterly cringeworthy and yet somehow adorable
- Santana says ‘cool beans’! I say that all the time, maybe we’re destined to be together?

Didn’t Love

- Not only does Kurt use the phrase ‘fag hag’ but he shortens it to ‘hag’. Gross.
- In fact Kurt was a real bitch in that whole scene. But I loved it really!
- Don’t cry Santana! She started right after Will mentioned how many people are killed via alcohol poisoning every year. Could that have hit a nerve?

Songs I wished were in this episode: Barenaked Ladies – Alcohol, Rihanna – Cheers (Drink to That), Frank Sinatra – One For My Baby. Has anyone got any more?

Glee Against the Mus....hic!

My Hairband – Rachel Berry
Well done Rachel, that was simply beautiful. That deserves an A+

Don't You Want Me - Human League (Rachel and Blaine)
Wow Blaine is getting to warble a lot this season. Such a fun performance with the audience reacting in different ways; Kurt turned green with envy and Mercedes just sat there grinning like a loon. Blaine and Rachel sound great together and their drunkenness added to the cheesy goodness. I wish that one day I’ll walk into a karaoke bar and find these two going at it. A-

Blame It – Jamie Foxx (Artie, Mercedes, Santana and Puck)
Awesome staging with the rotating sofas and red lights, even if those were . What with this and the glowing Bieber ceiling from last week (Somebody to Love), Will’s really making use of the appropriation of the Cheerios’ budget. Grade B

One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer – (Will and Bieste)
Was Will a really gay drunk, or am I projecting? Anyway I liked that Bieste’s singing debut was so well worked into the story, unlike Lauren’s last week. Song itself was a perfect fit, but not all that riveting. C+

Tik and also, Tok – Kee Dollar Sign Ha (Brittany and New Directions)
Not only did Brittany look the part, but her choreography stomped on Ke$ha’s drunken ass. That is until she vomited what looked like blueberry cement all over Rachel; that was the ultimate Ke$ha homage. Poor Rachel – “Guys! I’m meltiiiiing”. On the downside, this was very similar to the original song. B+

Quotes for Gleeks:

Rachel: “Brittany, remember the rules: no sitting on anything!”

Rachel: “Your face tastes awesome.”
Mike: “I told my mum I had the flu and she made me a traditional tea made out of panda hair”

Artie: “How about some Bloody Marys y’all?”

Rachel: “Mr Shue? First of all that vest is very cute – you are all kinds of awesome

Blaine: “I'd say ‘bye’ but I wouldn't wanna make you angry.”

MC: “Welcome everybody to Rosalita’s Roadhouse, where the men are men and the sheep are nervous!”

Rachel: “...frankly I did expect a little snog as the date drew to a close, but I guess the timing just wasn’t right”
Kurt: “Or the blood alcohol level”

Will: “Yay, happy face...Ok....*burp*”

Burt: “I don’t know what two guys do when they’re together! You know I sat through that whole Brokeback Mountain – from what I gather, something went down in the tent.”

Brittany: “Ke$ha has been a culture icon for weeks.”

Rachel: “I have mixed us a playful showbiz cocktail of what was left in my dads’ liquor cabinet. There’s some brandy and vermouth and port wine and scotch in here and also some kool aid and some crumbled up oreos.”
Santana: “Oh my god this tastes like cough syrup.”
Rachel: “There’s also cough syrup in here.” Anyone for a Racheltini?

Figgins: “And now, performing the hit song Tik and also Tok, by rapper Ke and dollar sign ha, New Directions.”

Brittany: “Everybody drink responsibly.”

Will: “...hey and I rode a bull and I was thinking of you!”
Quinn: “There’s a fair amount of the pot calling the kettle black right now.”
Brittany: “That is so racist!”

Santana: “But if you don’t drink what will you have to live for?”

...and the Quote of the Week -
Santana: “Oh you’re one to talk! How about you crack a 4 Loco Count Boozy von Drunk-a-ton?”

I lost count of the number of times I burst out laughing during this episode. In fact, I even found it hard to see through my tears of laughter at one point. Any Glee episode that can do that while working thematically and providing my ipod with the auditory equivalent of a rejuvenating seaweed wrap deserves four out of four spinning bottles. Now I’m off to find me some frozen yoghurt. Until next week, hic!
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Smallville: Masquerade


Oliver: "This is definitely the most romantic of my recent kidnappings."

Even with all of the dead bodies, this episode was so much fun. At least until the end.

The double couple stuff was great. Chloe and Oliver can't even go out to dinner incognito without a case of mistaken identity, kidnapping and violence. And I enjoyed Lois wrestling her wedding problems to the ground; I thought the wedding diorama was funny and totally in character. I particularly liked the U.S. military heavily represented on the bride's side and vigilante superheroes on the groom's.

The secret identity stuff was fun, too, and not just the costume tryout. I dare say that Clark finally adopting the glasses and mannerisms of the traditional Clark Kent was a pretty big moment in the history of this series. Smallville has always been about Clark Kent, not Superman, so it wasn't surprising that Clark found it difficult to alter his core identity, to take that final step. It's so nice that he gets to take it with Lois right there to help him.

Oliver's identity issues may not have been as momentous, but they were more serious and a lot less joyous. He had two identities, then one, then nothing -- and then he was taken over by the encroaching Darkseid darkness, which bums me out. Oliver's "disguise" in the opening scenes had to be this episode's Most Obvious Symbolism; he was all in black, right down to his hair.

So Darkseid has been encroaching and threatening all season, and now he seems to have officially arrived. You know what? This season so far has been so much fun in a Memory Lane sort of way that I almost wish we didn't have a Big Bad. But I guess eight more episodes consisting of Clark saving people in whatever new costume he adopts plus a great big fun double cousin wedding would get boring. Oh, well.

Bits and pieces:

-- Clark went from London to Metropolis in no time flat and that's not considered flying? Did he skim over the surface of the Atlantic Ocean?

-- Chloe got another amazing costume and not just for dinner; she resisted the temptation of the seven deadly sins in a killer red dress.

-- The ultimate threat being symbolized by the Greek letter omega is actually rather fitting for the final season.

-- Lois: "You do not get to whoosh your way out of this one."

-- Lois: "Micro vision?" Clark: "It's my power. I can call it whatever I want."

Three out of four outstanding red dresses,

Billie

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Being Human: The Longest Day

Nina : “What's your manager's number, Wendy? I'm going to unleash a shit-storm!”

Things are looking decidedly bleak for Mitchell. The sins of the past two seasons are catching up with him. Herrick's back and living in the attic. Nina's knows about Mitchell's part in the box tunnel massacre. George is threatening to disown him. There was only Cara who seemed vaguely pleased to see him... right before she committed suicide. It's like all of Mitchell's nightmares are coming true. Let's hope he doesn't hear about The Real Hustle being fake or it'll be curtains. There's only so much a man can take.

There aren't enough superlatives to describe Jason Watkins' performance this week. He played Uncle Billy, the blank-faced amnesiac, to absolute perfection. I almost bought his innocence, too. Then he smiled, and the old Herrick was back. Nina should have taken more notice of his cold dismissal of Cara. That wasn't the behaviour of a sweet old man. It was of a monster remembering who he is. And who he is, is a killer.

Herrick's dress sense seemed to reflect his mental confusion. What was up with that shirt and those pyjama bottoms? Still, anything's better than more of his bare arse. How many male buttocks have we been subjected to this season? Herrick living upstairs is a preposterous turn of events. Already, he's managing to strip away all that Mitchell holds dear. No wonder Mitchell feels like he's losing his mind. Who could have predicted a week ago that within seven days Herrick would be living under their roof, and have the support of half its occupants?

I do love Nina, but she disappointed me a little tonight. Not because she acted out of character. Her betrayal was completely understandable. But because she trusted Mitchell and George so little. She had in her possession the pieces of the puzzle, but assembled them in the wrong order. Herrick's playing everyone like a musical director conducting an orchestra. Only Annie was able to see through the façade. Maybe her gullibility last season has made her wary. But, at least it means Mitchell has an ally.

Which is more than he deserves after the way he treated Annie. I knew he'd blow it. To be fair, I don't think we've ever seen him under this much pressure. Which is a nice reversal of expectations. I assumed Mitchell would be in for an easy ride this season. A bit of soul searching. A spot of the smoochies. Yet, his relationship with Annie is currently hanging by a thread, as is his friendship with George and Nina. How did that happen? Mitchell admitted in “Adam's Family” that the gang are the only thing keeping him grounded. If his accountability to them vanishes, what's keeping him from going all Angelus again?

I guess the answer's Annie. Despite being at rock-bottom, at least he managed to tell her how he feels. He sees their relationship as forever. (Awww.) As long as Annie's there, Mitchell has a reason to stay on the wagon. I was relieved that he chose George, too. But it's severely restricted his options with Herrick. He can't kill him. But he can torture him. The mystery of Herrick's resurrection is a secret worth uncovering -- especially with a prophesied death sentence hanging over his head.

I was also unhappy with the way Nina treated Wendy. I know it was mostly played for laughs, but Nicola Walker did such a fine job of bringing Wendy to life that I really felt for her. She was the model of an overworked, under-appreciated, downtrodden social worker... perpetually exhausted, fearful of negative press, but, ultimately, a caring and sweet individual (albeit off her tits on red bull). I was quite moved by her breakdown in the car, and by Annie's silent support. It just seemed incongruous that Nina would manipulate someone so obviously on the brink of despair. And all for Uncle Billy... a man she barely knows?

The problem is, Nina can't help but care. It's in her nature; even when that concern is misplaced. I think it was Mitchell's insincerity that got to her in the end. That and George's unwavering loyalty to him. Is George the kind of man she wants as a father to her child? A man who can sentence an old man to death and then look the other way? Nina doesn't know Herrick the way the others do. But, George and Mitchell's terrified reaction to him should have given her reason for pause. When Mitchell first saw Herrick he was like a man possessed. What could possibly cause such a reaction in Mitchell, a man more than capable of handling himself?

George's ultimatum was also something of a surprise. George knows Mitchell better than anyone. He knows what he's been through and has been there through the hard times. So why the tough love? Did he really think it would bring Mitchell to his senses? Or is he simply putting Nina and their baby first? Maybe both. But if someone doesn't kill Herrick soon, he'll be too powerful to stop. What will they do then? Enlist the help of the Old Ones? Mitchell described Herrick as a vampire at the height of his powers. Is he megalomaniacal enough to take on the Old Ones? That would make for an interesting finale.

Is Nina really the little bullet? They're throwing red herrings all over the place at the moment. Last week it was McNair. Now it's Nina. Who will it be next week, I wonder? There's only George and Tom left.

Bits and Pieces:

-- I don't think I've ever seen a more stereotypical psych ward. Every single person seemed mad to the extreme. Even the staff were do-twatting-lally

-- How creepy was George bonding with Herrick over fatherhood? Herrick knew exactly what to say to get George onside. And George fell for it.

-- George's Star of David doesn't work on Herrick. I wonder why?

-- There was something grotesque about Mitchell beating the crap out of a defenseless and confused Herrick. It's probably the most disturbing thing I've seen on the show. (Worse than Herrick's arse.)

-- I loved that Herrick couldn't fool Annie. What he said should have played on her fears and weaknesses. She does feel ignored, inconsequential and worthless. But she saw right through it. Good on you, Annie!

-- Herrick can't kill Annie or Mitchell. It's all about saving the dogs. Why can't George and Nina see that?

-- When Wendy first arrived George seemed to be channelling David Brent.

-- Wendy's computer rage made me laugh. I've heard that Windows error sound so many times.

-- Uncle Billy shaking hands with Wendy was just priceless. His face was so empty.

Quotes:

Annie: “We're going to have to have a treat tonight. Big tea, major pudding and, oh, just happy times. Ohh, and Jenga! I'll see you back at the house.”
Nina: (to herself) “Pissing Jenga.”

George: “It's the Jehovah's, isn't it? I knew I shouldn't have been nice.”

Annie: “It's social services, it's got to be. She looks knackered and she has terrible hair.”

Herrick: “Don't you look ugly when you're crying?”

Wendy: "Barbara, can I call you back? I'm just actually on the toilet... doing an actual wee.”

Annie: “Mmm, a knee-trembler by the bins. It's enough to put stars in any girl's eyes.”

Mitchell: “You want every little corner of me. But I just don't want to give it.”

Mitchell: “I was in love with the idea of being your hero. Your rescuer. Your saviour. That's what I was in love with. Not you. It's for the best. One day you'll realise.”

Cara: “I'm nothing without you.”
Herrick: “Well, then. You are nothing.”

Mitchell: “I think there's a poison in you that has nothing to do with being a vampire. So, yeah. I think you do enjoy it.”

Mitchell: “Nina, a little bullet. I'm going to make you so very happy.”

Annie: “What am I? Onto you... is what I am. I'm onto you... little man.”

Mitchell: "I feel like I'm losing my mind. I'm so tired and I'm losing everything.”

Mitchell: "George. I choose you.”

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Eureka: Before I Forget


... in which friends from Henry’s past arrive to demonstrate an indestructible force field body armor prototype for the military. Meanwhile, Carter and others begin to experience moments of lost time.

Another episode built around an incredibly disturbing abuse of science and spouses. What Jason did to Kim was just heinous. As she noted, ““He took a lot more than 20 minutes of my memory. He took my life!” Hearing her list all things he may have erased from her mind, I just wanted to scream and cry on her behalf. How the hell do you that to a person you claim to love? Jason said he just wanted what she and Henry had, and that he gave her a good life, but he has no idea what that even means. He’s just another selfish, twisted bastard from the Walter Perkins School of Marriage. I wouldn’t have blamed Kim one bit if she had set Jason up to be killed during the armor demonstration, but I was glad she didn’t. “Even though you stole my life, I couldn’t take yours.” The view from the moral high ground is much sweeter.

Tamlyn Tomita was fantastic as Kim. I was absolutely charmed by her easy chemistry with Henry, moved by her sad confusion over what happened between them, and righteously outraged when she confronted Jason. My heart just broke for her when she and Henry couldn’t remember why they’d split or if they’d ever even kissed. I’m so glad that she’s considering Stark’s offer and that they might get another chance. Henry is a great character, and it makes me smile to see him happy. I hope we see more of this partnership.

Other Thoughts

Ah, the “proleptic cold open” as Josie calls it. That story-telling device has definitely gotten old.

Allison: “You think agents of a foreign government would be after your underwear?”
Carter: “Maybe. I can pretty up when I want to.”

I could have done without the Zoe subplot. It was kind of fun to see Carter trying to bond with his estranged daughter, but Putnam and his futuristic vision of A Midsummer Night’s Dream were just insane. Visionary, my ass.

Why can’t Beverly and Jason be seen together? Are he or his stolen device tied to her evil plans?

After seeming so charming in the last episode, Stark largely came off as a humorless hardass in this one. He wasn’t nearly as bad as Jason though. Arrogant jackass.

Jo: “Believe it or not, Carter, I didn’t have childhood dreams of becoming a commando.”

I’m glad they seem to have gotten rid of the “Jo is obsessed with finding a man” thing from the pilot. I like her better simply as the confident, capable, kickass deputy. Who has fond memories of her mother making her drama costumes when she was a kid.

Final Analysis: Very good episode. The dark tone of this season is starting to grow on me. The stories have been disturbing, but they’ve also given me some meaty ideas to ponder.

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NewsFlash: Three Fun Facts


Got the Tuesday blues? This might make you feel better.

According to TVLine and Blastr, the upper reaches of your cable guide (well, your cable guide if you are in the US) are getting that much cooler in the coming months:

1. Stargate: Universe returns Monday, March 7th for the last 10 episodes.

2. The SyFy Channel will start airing Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles reruns Thursday, April 7th.

3. The Science Channel is airing Firefly starting Sunday, March 6th. (The Science Channel? What is that?)

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Star Trek: Obsession


Spock: "Do you smell something?"

A fluffy white cloud. Perhaps not as effective a villain as Ricardo Montalban. Although there was definitely a resemblance to Moby Dick. Well, it was big and white, wasn't it?

The idea of a sentient vampire cloud that could travel at warp speed was rather cool, and this episode could have worked. I think it just suffered from poor writing. I kept thinking that Kirk was acting just a bit too irrational, unprofessional and paranoid, even though he was (of course) right in the end. What I would have liked to see is more about Kirk's past. Flashbacks to the U.S.S. Farragut eleven years ago might have been fun, although budget issues probably nixed that possibility. I did like how Kirk backtracked on his too harsh criticism of Ensign Garrovick, because it suggested that Kirk was finally able to forgive himself for his hesitation in firing on the creature eleven years ago.

For me, what really stood out in this episode was the flagrant elimination of red shirts. The first beam-down included three red shirts, all of whom died, although Rizzo hung on for awhile. The second beam-down consisted of Kirk and five red shirts, two of whom were immediately killed; we never did learn if the third one made it. One of the many dead red shirts was Lt. Leslie (Eddie Paskey), who still managed to hang around in the background during the rest of the episode. Paskey was also Shatner's stunt double and played other parts throughout the series; he was in more episodes than some of the cast, so at least it wasn't really the end for him.

Ben says...

Wow wow Wubbzy, that is a lot of dead red shirts. This episode has to be some kind of record, and they definitely don't fit the pattern typical of Trek. Usually it goes like this: kill one or two to demonstrate how serious the threat is, generally in the first act, often before the opening credits. Causes of death have included exploding rocks, Horta-ing, dart plants, battle discus, hurling by android, and pissing off Ricardo Montalban. It's a tough job.

This started out the same way but then just kept going, because the deaths here served a different purpose. As with "Metamorphosis," this episode is about Kirk's life. If "Metamorphosis" was about the end of the Trek, I think this episode was about the beginning. Garrovick is obviously the mirror of Kirk with the same faults and potential. The narrative device is an interesting one and would have been done as a flashback in a lot of current shows, but you see this one throughout all the Trek series (even much of the Wesley Crusher stuff was about Picard as a young man). It's this episode where you see it most clearly though with the fantastically unlikely coincidences of Garrovick being present at all when the Honey Cloud attacks, then being the one who hesitates to fire, and finally the mass casualties of Enterprise red shirts (who get to stand in for the dead of the USS Farragut). Good episode if you aren't a red shirt.

Back to Billie for bits and pieces:

-- Star date 3619.2. An unnamed planet with loads of tritanium, a material twenty times harder than diamond. Enterprise was late for a rendezvous with the U.S.S. Yorktown to pick up vaccines for planet Theta 7.

-- Kirk served as a lieutenant on the U.S.S. Farragut under Captain Garrovick eleven years ago. Two hundred crew members were lost to the creature.

-- Both of the uninhabited planets we saw in this episode were temperate, with an oxygen nitrogen atmosphere (no space or environmental suits). This is one of those yes-I-know-it-was-the-sixties and yes-it's-a-television-show things, but I'll say again that if this was reality, class M planets that supported human life would be rare and valuable and pretty darned important.

-- Phasers have a new setting: "disruptor B". And we learned that a tiny amount of anti-matter can create an explosion that can rip away half of a planet's atmosphere.

-- The Enterprise sets seemed a bit more colorful than usual. There was a lot of purple in this episode.

-- How could they be certain the vampire honey cloud was dead? What if it had "shifted" the way it had before when it was fired upon?

Quotes:

Spock: "I need your advice."
McCoy: "Then I need a drink."

Chapel: "You know, self-pity's a terrible first course. Why don't you try the soup instead?"

McCoy: "I'll bet he left a bad taste in the creature's mouth, too."
Spock: "Colloquially expressed, but essentially correct."

Scott: "Thank heaven!"
Spock: "Mister Scott, there was no deity involved. It was my cross-circuiting to B that recovered them."
McCoy: "Well, then, thank pitchforks and pointed ears."

Two out of four honey-scented sparkling vampire clouds,

Billie

All of our Star Trek reviews are archived here.
More about Ben here.
Photo credit: Memory Alpha

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Farscape: Bone to be Wild


While hiding from Crais’s command carrier in an asteroid field, Moya receives a distress call from a nearby asteroid. Zhaan, D’Argo, and Crichton respond to the call and become potential prey for a very hungry predator. Meanwhile, Aeryn helps Moya to bond with her offspring, and Crais must contend with Scorpius’s efforts to undermine his command.

‘Bone to be Wild’ is a much better episode than I remembered. I thought it was a stand-alone episode featuring a seemingly helpless female creature who turned out to be a dangerous predator, but there was a lot more to it. The A-plot had way more twists and turns than I recalled, and I completely forgot that the episode also continued to build on the major events of the last several episodes. Even better, all three stories did a nice job tying into one of the series’ core themes --- identity.

Down on the asteroid, our understanding of Zhaan’s identity was completely reshaped with the revelation that she’s highly evolved plant life. Plants developing sentience and evolving into humanoid form is a really cool concept, and as Crichton points out, it certainly explains Zhaan’s photogasms. Although the episode briefly touches on the idea that Crichton inherently sees plants as a “lesser life form,” the reveal doesn’t really change his (or our) perceptions of Zhaan’s worth as a free and sentient being. Nonetheless, it does add a fascinating new layer to our beautiful blue priestess.

The ground-based story also toyed with our perceptions of M’Lee and Br’Nee, continually shifting our point of view regarding just whose side our heroes should be on. I really enjoyed the constant change ups, which resulted in a much more intriguing and complex situation than “tricksy native predator feasts on newcomers.” Although, Br’Nee miniaturizing Zhaan and turning her into one of his specimens did undercut the complexity a bit. Until then, you could maybe accept his arguments that the scientific value of his people’s research outweighed their callous treatment of M’Lee’s people. But once Zhaan’s life and freedom were at stake, he just became an evil bastard who deserved to be put down. No more moral ambiguity for Moya’s crew, and a nice snack to tide M’Lee over until the arrival of the tasty Peacekeepers.

The whole situation presents an interesting parallel to Scorpius’s wormhole research. It’s possible the “weapon” he’s supposedly devising serves a larger public benefit. Perhaps he believes it does. We don’t really know anything about it at this point. But if he’s willing to sacrifice Crichton’s life in pursuit of his larger scientific aims, then he’s nothing but a calculating, evil bastard as far as the audience is concerned.

Of course, that doesn’t mean we can’t appreciate his manipulation of Crais. Call it schadenfreude or my sense of poetic justice, but I was practically gleeful watching Crais’s world and identity get slowly stripped away. It’s only right that he should suffer the same fate as Aeryn, but in a more insidious and demoralizing fashion. Aeryn was exiled; Crais is steadily being reduced to a powerless puppet, forced to sit by while Scorpius usurps his command. When he sat there at the end, reduced to an impotent shell of a man, telling his second-in-command “My orders … are do as he says,” I almost felt bad for him. Almost.

Meanwhile, Aeryn got to use her newly cemented sense of identity to help Moya’s offspring figure out his place in the world. They had a nice little bonding moment when she tried to gain his trust by telling him that though they may both come from the Peacekeepers, they are different. “Look, it’s true. In a perverse way, you do come from them. But so do I.” I was also quite moved by Aeryn’s reaction to Moya’s request that Aeryn choose a name for her son. This is obviously an incredible honor, and Claudia Black sold the moment beautifully. She can say so much with a slight smile and a simple welling of the eyes. Very poignant.

Other Thoughts

The offspring looks so tiny next to Moya!

Gigi Edgley is officially in the main cast! Woo hoo!

Welcome, Braca! (Crais’s second in command.)

Scorpius’s plan to panic Moya’s offspring was pretty damn smart and almost certainly would have worked. Crais made a critical error ignoring the suggestion.

I was surprised to see Crais still in command at the beginning of the episode. Scorpius seemed so powerful on the Gammak Base that I expected him to strip Crais’s command after what he saw in the Aurora Chair. Apparently he’s from a different “branch of the service,” and his special privileges don’t extend to removing command carrier captains without getting orders from higher up. I guess he just decided to see if he could control Crais before filing his report.

Scorpius’s cool calculation is pretty darn scary, but don’t make him angry. You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry. “Why must you force me to display my physical superiority to your kind as well?” What the heck is he?

D’Argo is such a whiny baby when he doesn’t feel well or things aren’t going his way. Man up, dude.

Zhaan can make herself invisible. Huh. Did we know that before? Is that something she’s always been able to do, or a power that comes with now being a tenth level Pa’u?

Crichton seems to be wearing Larraq’s commando uniform full-time now. All that leather probably offers better protection than his white t-shirt and tan cargo pants.

Where the heck was Stark? Did they drop him and Gilina’s body off somewhere after making their initial escape?

Rygel is exceedingly handsy with Chiana. She probably should snap off his hand and “use it as a good luck charm.”

M’Lee was played by Francesca Buller, Ben Browder’s real-life wife. (She’s also featured in a recurring role later in the series.) That must have been weird, given how crazy her costume was.

Quotes

Chiana: “Distress call? Directed at us?”
Crichton: “[Bursts out laughing.] How stupid is that?”

Scorpius: “I’ve never understood the need of some warriors to memorialize their conquests. Does displaying this … decaying flesh remind you of past instances, when you were powerful?”

Crais: “You have directly questioned my command.”
Scorpius: “Your command begs question.”

Crichton: “How did you survive? [She looks down in shame and sadness.] M’Lee?”
M’Lee: “In the end, we only had each other.”

Aeryn (on Moya’s offspring): “Amongst all these Peacekeeper systems, I feel quite at home.”
Rygel: “We couldn’t be happier, honestly. You deserve a home where you’re wanted.”
Ouch! That’s cold, Sparky.

Chiana: “[Smacks Rygel in the back of the head] You oughta keep one foot out of your mouth. You may need it to run.”

Zhaan: “… it may not be entirely unreasonable to ---“
Crichton: “To murder sentient beings in order to save a few stinking plants?”
Zhaan (stung): “How animal-centric of you, John.”
Crichton: “I’m sorry, Zhaan. I forgot. You’re …”
Zhaan (biting): “I am a ‘stinking plant.’”

Scorpius: “[Tosses something at Crais.] My report. To High Command.”
Crais: “Should I bother reading it?”
Scorpius: “To what end? You’ll hear it all multiple times at your inquest.”

Br’Nee: “She’s not dead, nor will any harm come to her.”
Crichton: “She’s in a test tube, Jack.”
Br’Nee: “Through her we might discover medical cures even our future dreamers dare not envision. Is that not a fair tradeoff?”
Crichton: “Not to her. And not to me.”

Final Analysis: A solid follow-up to ‘The Hidden Memory,’ with a lot more story and depth than I remembered.

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Fringe: 6B


“What if this is not about physics, but about people?”

That quote? The rules of the game. How should we understand those rules? That is still up for grabs. This episode had me anguished at first, but it is nonetheless a vital clue to larger goals of the show. Are those goals in line with my expectations? Only time will tell.


I’ve written before about the Lost finale. I was uncomfortable with what I felt was a sudden shift from the mysteries of the island to the characters who peopled it. Specifically, I was resistant to being told repeatedly by the writers that it had really been a character-centric story all along. I felt like I was being ineffectively ret-conned, and wound up rather “meh” about the finale. (For me, “meh” is an emotion.)

Olivia’s quotation above seemed to me, at first, to be a similar assertion—just spoken by a character rather than a creator. Especially in light of Peter’s emotional role in the machine of destruction and Fauxlivia’s pregnancy, the events of this episode felt like a cop-out—as though the writers were systematically dismissing the scientific background that has been so compelling and wonderfully wacky for all these years. So it all comes down to the power of love? So human desire can influence physics? The fate of the world hangs on emotional connections? That’s it? I said last week that I love the character interactions on this show, but Walter’s line seemed a bridge too far. I liked character interactions against the backdrop of fringe science. Fringe science being reduced to character interactions? Not so much.

That was my first reaction. Then I started to give it some thought. Really, this is the fringiest idea Fringe has had. It’s like the bizarreness of the observer effect, but with heart. If a person watching an atom zip around can change the atom’s path, why can’t a person feeling something change the course of history? Once I started to see the connection between the emotional emphasis and the still-strange science this show was built on, I started to feel more comfortable. This isn’t really a shift from science to soap opera. It’s yet another development in the ever-increasing complexity of the forces at work in the salvation and destruction of the universe. As Walter said earlier on: “The laws of physics are being disrupted.” They’re just being disrupted by something unexpected: the human element. “Some form of emotional quantum entanglement,” indeed: the entangling of the laws of physics and the laws of the heart.

Setting up those new (or revised) rules made this episode rather uneven, though. I was not enamored of Mrs. Merchant (or Marchant?) and her situation, although Peter’s speech to her—with his emphasis on photographs and ticket stubs, the detritus of his relationship with Fauxlivia—was incredibly touching. Walter’s struggle with where to draw the line, and his possible parallels with Walternate, was wonderfully done. Rarely does a show allow a character quite that much time to think things through on-screen. And such results! He looked almost resigned to losing Peter and Olivia to the amber.

Above all, though, I was entranced by Olivia’s transformation. Once she made up her mind to forgive—or forget—Peter’s time with Fauxlivia, she started to smile more, to joke more, to hold herself in a more relaxed way. But what I can’t determine is whether she was doing it on purpose. Did she want to appeal to what she thought Peter wanted? Or did she really let go of some of that patented Olivia-angst? Either way, it looks like Olivia and Peter are finally, officially, hooking up. I hope she, at least, has some sort of birth control, since Peter’s condoms don’t seem to be very effective.

It’s Kinda Funny:

• Peter: “I’ve seen what the two of us look like together, and it’s beautiful.”

• Walter: “Perhaps I should have made a frittata.”

• Walter: “There’s no such thing as ghosts.”
Peter: “That’s where you draw the line? Ghosts?
Walter: “Belly and I used to argue about this constantly—what happens to the body after death. William theorized we should be able to capture that energy, using what he called ‘soul magnets.’”
Peter: “Catchy name.”
Walter: “He said if we were right, he’d contact me from the great beyond. I haven’t gotten the call.”

• Walter: “That nervous fellow, Brandon.”

• The Guildenstern Building feels like it should mean something, but all I’ve got is Hamlet and Stoppard. Oh—Hamlet had a hell of a time deciding on a course of action. Is that it? (Edited to add: Somehow I screwed this up. It's the Rosencrantz according to every single other person who watched the episode. But I swear my TV said Guildenstern...)

• The coin flip was a great resonant trope throughout the episode.

• It was great to see that creepy goo from so long ago pop up again.

• So, the deciding moment came for Mrs. Merchant when she found out that OtherHusband had children. Parallelism, anyone?

The past three episodes have all contained huge revelations. First, that Peter’s choice between Faux/Olivia would determine which world survived. Then, that Fauxlivia was pregnant. Now, that powerful emotions can make the physically impossible, possible. Along the way, Fringe has gotten quite a bit of flack from the fans. I’m still keeping the faith. What about you?

Three out of four frittatas.

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Supernatural: Mannequin 3, The Reckoning


Dean: "I don't like the way Kim Cattrall is looking at me."

Mildly creepy. Somewhat funny. And unfortunately, sort of sad.

I liked that they addressed one of those obsessive fan questions, i.e., what if the marauding ghost donated a kidney and the recipient was still alive? Although the fact that poor Isabel died five minutes later sort of negated the coolness. What would they have done if Isabel hadn't died? It would have been interesting to find out. Come to think of it, didn't they encounter a similar situation with remains in "Yellow Fever"?

The anatomy dummy was particularly creepy, but the creep factor was somewhat reduced by Dean's glee as he was playing with it. The thing made me think of Warren in the Buffy season eight comics. (For that matter, the forehead line was very Sylar from Heroes, and the white mannequins reminded me of Doctor Who.) And then we got to Johnny the third victim talking to his at-home sex doll, and I got confused. After I thought about it, I concluded that Rose must have chosen the mannequins to channel her ghostly killer self because of Johnny's sex doll, and because the pranksters had set up a male mannequin at the dinner table to be her faux secret admirer. (I bet that was Johnny's idea.) Rose may have been boring and shy in life, but she was certainly a creative ghost.

The writers have always been consistent with stories that have a symbolic connection to what's going on with the Winchesters. I was thinking that the mannequin murders were a call-back to soulless Sam. But it was also about Dean hurting his "family," like Rose, who ended up killing the sister she loved. Love hurts. Dean stayed away from Lisa and Ben and that hurt them. But Dean staying with them might kill them. Dean was right that if he stayed, Ben might end up a hunter. Although I think he probably will, anyway.

We did get a "farewell to Lisa and Ben" montage. It's time for Dean to leave them behind. Even though I liked the maturity Dean showed during those scenes. He was acting very like a real husband and father, like it came naturally to him.

The time discrepancy for Sam's "fat faceful of Hell" was disconcerting. He was out two or three minutes, and mentally back in the Cage for a week? It sounded a lot like the actual time slip situation. If this keeps happening, it's not going to be fun for Sam. In fact, I kept expecting him to pass out again during the episode.

No happy ending. Dean and Sam didn't save the day and in fact, they made the situation worse. Like last week. It's a season six theme, isn't it?

Bits and pieces:

-- Big points for "Mannequin 3: The Reckoning". You gotta love it when just the episode title makes you laugh out loud. I liked the music "Love Hurts" at an appropriate moment, too.

-- Dean running from the carjacked Impala was really funny. Jensen Ackles has a gift for physical comedy. I also liked how Dean said, "I'm so sorry, baby" as he outwitted the Impala into a brick wall.

-- What a totally nasty practical joke. It seems unrealistic that a couple of reportedly very nice guys would participate in something so cruel, especially when the victim was such a quiet nonentity.

-- They addressed the body part situation with the kidney, but technically, the kidney was still there after Isobel died; it wasn't destroyed. Was Rose just so devastated that her need for revenge was over? Why am I coming up with an answer the writers should have supplied?

-- Was Jared having a bad hair week? He usually looks so good.

-- This week: Paterson, New Jersey and whatever was three towns over. No motel rooms, but we did get the shabby factory/warehouse/whatever that we've seen a few times before.

Quotes:

Dean: "Maybe we'll have a Snooki sighting."
Sam: "What's a Snooki?"
Dean: "That's a good question."
It is. I have no idea what a Snooki is. Could someone enlighten me?

Sam: "Went to church. Donated to charity. Rubbed her feet during Glee."
Dean: "I just threw up in my mouth."

Sam: "That anatomy dummy you were molesting in the lab... what if that's what this is about?"
Dean: "What exactly are you accusing me of?"

Dean: "We've got a bunch of killer dolls, like... Chuckie? I mean, come on. That's just... just... freaky creepy."

Lisa: "What's going on?"
Dean: "We've been Parent Trapped."

Dean: "This is Dean's other, other cell, so you must know what to do."

Dean: "So what are you suggesting? That we cut it out of her?"
Sam: "And then what? Leave her in a tub of ice with a phone taped to her hand?"
I thought this was hilarious in a totally sick way.

Sam: "At least Satan's left the building."
Dean: "Yeah. It's the little things."

Maybe the dynamic of the episode felt off because the boys were separated for most of it. It always feels off when they're separated. And a possessed mannequin episode could have been better. So I sort of liked it, and I sort of didn't. What did you guys think? Please post a rating,

Billie

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Vampire Diaries: The Dinner Party


“Thus ending our werewolf chapter and bringing us to Elijah.”

I’m starting to feel like my Vampire Diaries reviews are getting a bit redundant. But I can’t help it—this has been a wonderful season, and every episode leaves me with a big wacky grin on my face. Can the show possibly keep this up?

I hope so. This week’s entry was so jam-packed full of goodies that I didn’t even mind the two minor quibbles: too many flashbacks, and not enough time between Elijah’s death, resurrection, and other death. I might be in the minority in this, but I don’t love the VD flashbacks. They add depth and are necessary to explain Stefan’s and Damon’s past actions, but I start to zone out whenever I see ruffles and cravats. Having said that, though, I thought it quite interesting that Elena reading Jonathan Gilbert’s diary reminded Stefan of Lexie, which made him remember some of the grievances he has against Damon. Will that matter down the line? Doesn’t everything on this show?

Stefan’s fond memories of Lexie also helped him deal with Elena’s tragic impending martyrdom. Normally, I’m horrified by the idea of a wise boyfriend helping a young girl realize something about herself, but I never felt uncomfortable with what Stefan was helping Elena work though. He does have more experience with many of these problems, and he managed to provide guidance without being patronizing, just as Lexie did for him.

During his dark period, Stefan didn’t turn to Damon—just as Damon tends not to ask Stefan for help or support when he needs it most. The two brothers really are not communicating well, and while that means good things for Stefan and Elena, it means that Damon is left only with civilian friends who might not fully understand where he’s coming from. Alaric is right: compelling Andie Star, news reporter, is “too weird.” Stefan would address the issue directly, but Alaric just sidesteps it in that way men sometimes do with their friends.

All that personal stuff, though, pales in comparison to this episode’s major moments: Elijah, Elijah, Elena, and Katherine. Even though I know VD is fast-paced and action-packed, I’m still surprised every time they refuse to draw a story out. I thought Elijah’s death would come at the end of the season. Instead, he died—not once but twice. The first death was shocking, but I was still reeling from it when he resurrected. A few more minutes in-between would have increased the impact of both events, I think.

Nevertheless, Elena stabbing herself blew me away. All this time, I’ve wondered that no character has thought of the obvious vampire solution to the problem of Elena’s sacrificeability. Turns out, Elena had thought of it—she just wasn’t talking about. On a less-skilled show, this might have felt like a solution ex machina, but instead it gave some depth to Elena’s martyrdom. She has thought through the range of possible solutions, she just hasn’t brought them up to Stefan. Understandable, given the circumstances. Maybe Elena’s way, whatever it is, really will help defeat Elijah.

And now, Elijah is dead and daggered, resting in the basement cell of the Salvatore house. It’s too bad they can’t just burn him. In fact, can they burn him? Or would that disintegrate the dagger? Plus, now that his compulsion is undone, Katherine is free. That’s so incredibly cool.

Less cool are the problems brewing between Alaric and Jenna. Alaric is so damn desirable, and he was such a hero with the secretive stabbing that came out of nowhere. Jenna should know how cool her boyfriend is. (I hope they have a heart-to-heart soon.) When Alaric put the ring on the sideboard, I really thought he was going to punch Jon Gilbert/Sark!. What he actually did—just walking away and sacrificing near-immortality for Jenna—is so much cooler.

But it leaves us with a bunch of new problems: Elijah in the cell is sort of like Katherine in the tomb: a problem waiting to happen. Katherine herself is back in the game, as is the moonstone. Alaric has lost his ring of power, and Bonnie has lost her powers. Stefan seems to have regained his sense of anger at Damon. And it turns out that Elena’s death is on the table as a possible plot point, and Katherine is willing to help. Or pretending to help. Probably the latter.

Bites:

• Damon: “Yes, Stefan, I’ve become you. How tragic for both of us.”

• Elijah: “It’s a joke, Ric. Lighten up.”

• Alaric: “This is too weird.”

• Andie: “I am so grateful that Damon tells me everything.”

• Damon: “There’s no such thing as a bad idea. Just poorly executed awesome ones.” That’s a bumper sticker waiting to happen.

• Damon: “Let me guess. In addition to the moonstone, the doppelganger, the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe…”

• Damon: “Elijah, did you know that Jon is Elena’s uncle-slash-father? Of course, she hates him, so there is no need to keep him on the endangered species list.”

• Damon: “We’re at irreparable odds.” This was such a nineteenth-century Spike line.

And Pieces:

• In this week’s facial hair report, Alaric bought a new razor, but lost it again. Sadly, Elena has fallen victim to this season’s trend for thicker eyebrows.

• What does Elijah want with the witch-massacre ground?

• I love to watch vampires do dishes. Like pictures of dogs playing poker, it never gets old.

• The song playing over the awesome Katherine reemergence scene contained a line about someone named, you guessed it, Katherine. I didn’t quite have the right effect.

Four out of four sexy vampire shower scenes.
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Glee: Comeback


Did the Glee writers just dump lots of plot ideas together, cross their fingers and hope a coherent episode would emerge? Sorry writers, it doesn’t work that way.

Comeback or Cutbacks?

The individual plotlines may have been compelling if properly supported by other plots. For example, the trend-setting plot might have worked better in an episode devoted to Gaga, known for her crazy fashion, rather than Bieber, known for his bad haircut. Alas, this episode was a mish-mash of disparate threads that, rather than being woven into a pair of attractive arm-warmers remained a messy tangle of disparate threads.

Whilst I initially thought this episode was going to be about Justin Bieber and suicide (I can see how those would be closely linked in many people’s minds), we got trend-setting, diva-offs, heartwarming cancer ward camp fires and Lauren’s first song thrown into the mix. Maybe they should have stuck with Bieber and self-harm? Speaking of which, what is the big deal with Bieber anyway? I am glad they didn’t devote the whole episode to him but they focused on him just as much as Gaga. Unlike Gaga, there wasn’t much fun to be had with Bieber – after mocking, parodying, and finally exaggerating his ability to make girls turn into screaming Bieber-zombies, the only things to focus on were the Bieber hair (Mark Salling, you should have refused to wear that wig) and his songs, which I admittedly don’t mind. Perhaps this part of the episode works better if you actually are a Bieber-phile, but I just found the girls (even pull-no-punches Lauren) turning into melted butter watching The Justin Bieber Experience a little unbelievable and slightly degrading.
Oh dear, this review seems to be becoming a rant. Let’s press on!

Sue-icide, or Character Assassination?

Were those gummy vitamins ever meant to work, Sue? Whilst I am glad she lives to scheme another day, I thought it was a) ridiculous that Sue would ever resort to such measures to end her suffering/cry for help, and b) unlikely that she wouldn’t go to the healthy supply of much more potent and dangerous substances that I’m sure she has tucked away somewhere.
Apparently, what Emma thought Sue needed was a shot of┣▇g̅l̲e̲̅e̲̅▇▇═─ to bring her out of her funk. Did Sue agree to it because it was her plan all along, or did she see the opportunity to destroy them from within and take it? Doesn’t matter too much, since she went about it in a pretty lacklustre way, causing only a minor rift between Rachel and Mercedes; at least they are firm friends now.

The trip to the hospital was a bit cringeworthy. Sometimes Glee gets very self-aware – it seemed we were being told that Sue needed to sing with cancer patient kids to see her problems in perspective, in that scene in the hallway – she denied it and Will said that was not the point of the visit, but it was, wasn’t it? The trip to the ‘house of sad’ did inspire her, to magically become the director of a rival glee club. Oh well. Let’s ignore the fairly large question of ‘How?’ and move straight on to the glorious future when Sue’s and Will’s rival glee clubs will clash on the streets with high notes making car windows shatter and Molotov-slushies being lobbed back and forth.

Loved

- Sue’s ‘underwear’ during I Know What Boys Like. Was that a whip to go with the mask?
- Finn’s Mighty Morphin Power Rangers T-shirt
- Mercedes and Rachel's contrasting advice to Sue on how to be a diva.
- Puck is still into Lauren and she’s still not putting out. Good girl, make him beg.
- Lauren wrestling was pretty cool. As was Puck's erection comment.
- Sam’s Na’vi speak. But he hasn’t done it for months!
- Brittany does look fabulous all the time.
- Santana is back to full sexy bitch power and poor Sammy is her plaything.
- When Quinn whispers, her voice is Really sexy!

Didn’t Love


- Sue-icide? Not remotely plausible. Even if she was just hatching an evil plot/crying out for help.
- Glee does Bieber? Not remotely laudable.
- Kids with cancer, cut to 'funny' scene about fashion? Not working for me.
- When is Brittany so mean? That’s just not like her.
- How the hell did Sue get to be the director of a glee club at a different school? Ah, never mind, it’s Glee.

Glee Against the Music

Baby – Justin Bieber (Sam):
Well, at least the vocals were good. There’s a reason why this song received the most hits on YouTube (even if I don’t know what the reason is), but Glee, did you really have to go there? Minus one for going there. Minus one for Sam’s Bieber bob. Minus one for the girls all going crazy for it. I’m neutral on the dance-moves. I guess that’s a Grade C.

Somebody to Love – Justin Bieber (Sam and Artie with Puck and Mike):
Again, the vocals were impressive. I enjoyed the choreography too, except for the chalk, which I liked until I realised that it was actually some magically disappearing dust that never seemed to get on the guys clothes. I wish my house was full of disappearing dust. Again with the inexplicable Bieber fever from the ladies. B-

Take Me or Leave Me – Rent (Rachel and Mercedes):
If I was in a theatrical, diva-y mood I might have liked this more. Instead it just felt out of place. I didn’t believe the girls were really upset with each other in the first place, let alone that admiration of the other’s talent made them warm to each other by the end of the song. C+

This Little Light of Mine – Harry Dixon Loes (Will, Sue and paediatric cancer ward kids):
This also might have worked if they had earned it. However, I was a little miffed that they casually mentioned that Will goes to the ward every month, when it’s never been mentioned before. Good for Will, but it felt very much like those incredibly adorable kids were being used in a cheap way, since the scene had little bearing on the rest of the episode, with Sue reverting to her glorious, evil self soon after, and the plot moving on to Brittany the ‘fashion institution’. D-

I Know What Boys Like – The Waitresses (Lauren):
Another song that felt like a spare part from another episode. I’ve never been fond of ‘talky songs’ (I’m looking at you, The Ting Tings) but Lauren did her best with bad material. The only part I really enjoyed was seeing New Directions and Sue in their underwear. D+

Sing – My Chemical Romance (New Directions and Sue):
Again, good vocals but I would have been more into it if Sue hadn’t been there in atrocious pyjamas. Though props for the Sue stripes. Actually no, I hated all the outfits. It also didn’t work having Sue in the midst of the kids singing when half an episode earlier she was pushing them into lockers. B-

Quotes for Gleeks:

Sue: “Yes losers, I’m committing Sue-icide.”

Sam: “Who’s more rock n’ roll than Justin Beiber? No one, that’s who.”

Puck: “Dude, that haircut makes your mouth look even bigger.”

Lauren: “Although my love would CRUSH him, I’m totally turned on by the Biebster... that is until I remember that he looks like he’s 12 and it’s kind of creepy.”

Santana: “But make no mistake, every time you open your humongous mouth to do an impression, or moisten an enormous stamp for a lazy giant, you take one step closer to everyone seeing that you are actually a dork.”

Santana: “Look, I know you’re as dumb as a bag of wet hair...”

Brittany: “Most teachers think by cutting class I may improve my grades.”

Santana: “I mean, my carousel horse sweater should make me look like an institutionalized toddler but no – I look hot and smart. I feel like Michelle Obama.”

Lauren: “Here’s how I see it. I know I’m the hottest bitch in this joint. If I was a country my flag would be a fist giving the world the finger.”

Sue: “So sorry for not being sorry for interrupting.”

Quote of the Week:
Rachel: "I want my allowance back right now!"
Brittany: "It's already gone, my uncle lost his job and his goat was going hungry, so I spent it on food for the goat. I mean sort of, the goat just ate the money."

If an episode about Sue-icide wasn’t enough of a downer, the highest grades I could give the songs this week were B minuses. That’s depressing – my ipod is cold and lonely. Two out of four ugly Bieber wigs. Maybe two and a half, but that's generous!
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