Supernatural: You Can't Handle the Truth

Lisa: "You want to know the truth?"
Dean: "Probably not."

Just a bit intense, huh? This is why I love sci-fi/fantasy. The truth was a huge issue, so what did we get? An evil goddess of Truth, where you find out what your loved ones really think about you and you kill yourself because it's unbearable.

Dean is in such a dark place. Lisa told him the unvarnished truth that she doesn't want him near her son, and who could blame her? And now he must face what we've always known, that Dean is never going to have a family or a normal life, that he'll keep hunting until something kills him. And Sam, his only remaining reason for living, has become one of the things Dean kills. It was unbearable. During the gore fest at the house, I think Dean wanted to die. He certainly didn't seem to care if he survived or not.

It was Sam who had a knife up his sleeve, who got free and killed the Truth. (Talk about upfront symbolism.) The thing is, unemotional "the hunt is everything" Sam has become an outstanding hunter this season. Even after Sam found out that Dean was thinking about killing him in his sleep, he still tossed the knife to Dean. Although maybe that was hunter-related, too, as in we have a better chance to take down this monster if there's two of us?

What is wrong with Sam? Does Sam know, or was that another lie? Unfortunately, I can't speculate any further because the preview for the next episode spoiled it. (Freaking previews. Talk about evil.) This current situation between Dean and Sam must be resolved, of course, and I'm more than ready. But it's sort of an extreme symptom of their bigger relationship problem. After all they've been through, they have so much emotional baggage that there may be no fixing their relationship. And that's sad.

(I always hate it when the boys hurt each other. I'm not emotionally invested in these characters or anything, am I?)

"Puking the truth" was the focus of the episode, but there were a number of great touches. Harry's House of Horns, for instance, and the horn of Gabriel being missing seemed like an odd coincidence. The opener was very well done, too. (More obvious symbolism, with the big sister telling the little sister to kill herself.) And Bobby on the phone telling Dean the truth about milk, Tori Spelling and pedicures was a gem of a scene. So Dean is his favorite, huh? Why didn't Dean get "you're a burden to all of us and you should kill yourself"?

Bits and pieces:

-- Is this the end of Lisa? I like Lisa, oddly enough. I think she was the one love interest for Dean that worked.

-- Only a minute of Castiel, and some very grim hints that things aren't going well with the war in Heaven.

-- Dean was researching doppelgangers. Shades of The Vampire Diaries.

-- Veritas was cool-looking, like a monster cat. She reminded me a bit of "Ozzie and Harriet" in A Very Supernatural Christmas.

-- Death by dentist. Gag. At least it was brief.

-- Calumet City, Illinois. The motel wasn't a miracle of kitsch this time. Not as memorable as some of them.

-- Gold acting stars for Jensen Ackles. He was terrific.

Quotes:

Woman: "I'm sitting like this so you'll look at my breasts. I just bought them. I need a lot of attention."
Dean: "Good luck with that."
Loved how Dean took a moment to give her a double take. Considering his raw emotional state, that was rather nice of him.

Bobby: "Tori Spelling. I'm a huge fan. Girl's a real talent."
Dean: "I guess it does work over the phone."
Bobby: "You know what else? I get a pedicure once in awhile. This nice Vietnamese joint..."
Dean: "Okay, please stop."
Bobby: "This one gal, Nhung Phuong, name means 'Velvet Phoenix', tiny thing but the grip on her! She starts on my toes, and I feel like I'm..."

Dean: "It's the gig. You're covered in blood until you're covered in your own blood."

Four out of four (ick) cat skulls (changed from my initial rating of three),

Billie

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Farscape: Rhapsody in Blue

Moya’s crew is lured to a planet by a sect of renegade Delvian priests, so that their leader can learn Zhaan’s secret for staving off the madness caused by their darker impulses.

There are certainly worse episodes of Farscape, but I didn’t really enjoy ‘Rhapsody in Blue.’ It was very strange. I felt confused through most of it, particularly regarding what was up with the Delvians. I really had to focus on the various exposition scenes to get the gist of Zhaan’s backstory and the reason these priests lured her there. Throughout most of those scenes, I kept getting distracted by the differences in the Delvian makeup. These new Delvians looked a lot more “made up” than Zhaan. It seems strange to say, but there’s something about the makeup they use on Virginia Hey that looks very striking, but also very natural. She just seems like she is a beautiful blue priestess. Tahleen and her ilk, however, looked like humans wearing pounds of makeup. (The same actress playing both a Delvian and Crichton’s ex didn’t help matters.) I think it was the higher contrast between their skin and their lips, as well as the hair and the additional sparkly details. And the fact that I gave this issue so much thought during the episode really underlines the weaknesses in the main story.

It was nice to get a more detailed backstory for Zhaan. For those who, like me, had some trouble following along: Bitaal, Zhaan’s teacher and lover, was the spiritual leader of the Delvians, but when his time to lead was over, he decided he wasn’t ready to give up the position and brought in the Peacekeepers to enforce his rule. When this resulted in the false imprisonment and murder of “liberal thinkers and voices of protest,” including Zhaan’s father, Zhaan gave in to her dark impulses and used them to kill Bitaal while they were sharing unity. “You killed the guy you were having sex with, Zhaan!” So now we know why she was considered her people’s chief anarchist.

The primary question I’m left with is: did Crichton showing Zhaan her true nature also help to address her lingering rage issues from ‘That Old Black Magic’? Aside from the attack on Pilot, we haven’t really seen her struggling with any darker impulses. (I guess half a day of photogasms will ease the savage within.) I was starting to wonder if that was a dropped plot thread, but perhaps this little experience was meant to address that issue and more definitively put her on the road to recovery. Here’s hoping.

Other Thoughts

So last episode, Crichton and D’Argo worked on their relationship. This week, Zhaan and Crichton got a lot closer. What’s next week? More bonding for Crichton and Aeryn?

Zhaan leveled! And she got a nifty new protective power. I wonder if she also got some additional life and mana points.

It was fun to get a glimpse of everyone in their sleepwear. Aeryn in Crichton’s underwear was particularly amusing.

Zhaan turning to Crichton as someone she trusts to provide counsel was an interesting little role reversal. Clearly, he was the correct person to help her, but given the generally low opinion everyone on Moya seems to have of Crichton’s usefulness --- even Zhaan at times --- it was a bit surprising.

I wish that the writers had used the “attack them with their own hopes and fears” approach to provide some new insight into our characters. Instead, we saw that Aeryn fears being unable to use or remember her training, D’Argo fears the Peacekeepers will capture his son, and Rygel fears being seen as even smaller and more inconsequential. All of which perfectly aligns with their characterization thus far. Yea for consistency, but new perspective is always appreciated and this could have been a good opportunity to explore some new depths.

I guess we did learn a bit more about Crichton’s past. (He had an almost fiancée that left him for a scholarship to Stanford Med! Who knew?) And we apparently learned that he wishes he could share this great space adventure with someone he loves. Should we assume that his lost love, Alex, is the one he longs to be with, or did Lorana just go to that well because she conveniently happens to look like Alex?

Cool world-building detail: the Delvians have a “missionary habitat” ship, which arrives on a planet, heats the rock to molten, then settles underground. Plus, trigapods! The latest in gourmet fare. It’s a sea cucumber and a squid. Yum!

We saw several episodes ago that Zhaan desperately wants to return home. Given that the overall power structure doesn’t seem to have changed since her incarceration, what exactly is she hoping to do when she gets back? Live a covert existence and free her people? It previously seemed like she just wanted to go home, not lead the revolution.

Crichton implying Zhaan was afraid by clucking like a chicken was pretty funny. “Your translator microbes handle that?”

Quotes

Crichton: “Little long for a Starburst, don’t ya think?”
Rygel: “Hail, Prince of the Obvious.”

Crichton: “What about you girls? Sex dreams?”
Aeryn: “I sleep soundly.”
Zhaan (curtly): “I am unimpressed by your masculine reveries.”

Aeryn: “Amazes me how people mistake theosophy for superiority.”

D’Argo: “Something Crichton said is disturbing me.”
Rygel: “Finally! I’ve been saying that since he arrived.”

Zhaan: “Will she use the ability I give her to hurt people?”
Tuzak: “Certainly. But, she may also free a planet from tyranny.”

Crichton: “The part of Tahleen in tonight’s unity will be played by John Crichton.”

Crichton: “Look at yourself as I see you. Gentle, giving. That’s you, Zhaan.”

Zhaan: “[Sets down some folded clothing.] The vestments of a Pa’u. Feels like a shroud I am no longer worthy of.”

Final Analysis: It was good to fill in some of the blanks in Zhaan’s past, and to see her and Crichton further develop their friendship, but overall not a terribly engaging episode.

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Vampire Diaries: Masquerade

“I won’t hesitate.”

The first two-thirds of this episode were brilliant. The last third left me so discomfited that I had to bring the question up the corporate ladder and ask Billie what she thought. I’m still uncertain.


The team getting together to fight evil was great: except for Elena, everyone has superpowers, even Jeremy and Alaric with their magic rings. They decided to use their great powers very responsibly, to take down a threat to themselves and to the town. Five-against-one also emphasizes just how powerful Katherine really is. My favorite part was the texting, as it really showed Kevin Williamson’s and Julie Plec’s delight in how modern technology doesn’t ruin suspenseful moments, but can actually heighten them. My second-favorite part was that there plan included an awareness of Katherine seeing through it—and the assumption that Katherine would see Caroline as the weakest link. My third-favorite part was that Katherine had compelled both Matt and Girl #2, as back-up.

In the planning stages, there was an important moment of truth when Damon asked the team if anyone wanted to chicken out. Like Katherine, he singled Caroline out as a potential weak link, even though he’s seen her in action and knows how incredibly cool she can be. (I guess we always underestimate our exes.) I was worried about Bonnie, because I’ve never really understood where she’s coming from. (More on that in a bit.) But Damon and Stefan proved to be the weakest links: instead of killing Katherine, they entrapped her.

Billie pointed out that this is the only thing the writers could have done to keep Katherine in the game, and I think that’s why I’m so uncomfortable with the decision. It feels writerly, not related to the characters, who were so certain about their plan. Did being trapped in the room with Katherine remind our boys or their affections? Did they decide that holding her in the tomb was better than killing her? Did Bonnie want to avoid killing anyone at all? I trust this show to make a good story out of these tensions, but at this point I’m a little put off.

I did, however, love that Katherine’s counter-attack was so poetic. Even with vampire super-senses and all their knowledge, Stefan and Damon must have struggled with beating up someone who looked so much like the woman they both cherish. It’s also a neat bit of foreshadowing, if Katherine’s claim that “the doppelganger must be protected” is correct. What on earth could that mean?

Meanwhile, we got some sparkage between Bonnie and Jeremy. This might be another attempt to bring Jeremy into the fold, but…ew. Maybe my age is showing, but Bonnie asking Jeremy when he got his license really emphasized that he’s a little boy, even if he has grown up a bit and gotten a decent haircut. By the way, I’ve been meaning to say this for many reviews now: have you noticed that Tyler and Matt both made that jump from teenager to young man over the summer? They look so much more adult now.

Tyler Lockwood did some growing in this episode, too. Enter the werewolf.

And Bonnie got to meet her distant cousin, who will surely re-appear. Right? I sort of expected Bonnie to die, because she seemed to have that fey thing going on, and because we’ve all seen Scream and know that white people just have longer shelf lives--plus, she doesn't really like the supernatural power-plays, as she conveniently explained to Jeremy (and us). Her death also would have upped the ante, although then we would have lost the witch.

Maybe I’m not happy with this episode because I wanted more death? Girl At Party and Girl #2 are dead, but they don’t really matter. Then again, I would miss most of these characters if they were to die, and I think I’d stage a protest if Caroline died.

Bites:

• Caroline: “Then, I had to pretend to use the bathroom, even though I really didn’t have to go, because I’m a doofus.” Best. Vampire. Ever.

• Jenna: “I walked into a knife. How does that even happen?”

• Bonnie: “What’s going on?”
Jeremy: “We’re gonna kill Katherine.”
Stefan: “I can explain.”
Bonnie: “Please.”
Stefan: “We’re gonna kill Katherine.”

• Jeremy: “You want to dance of something while we’re waiting?”
Bonnie: “No! I mean, no, thank you.”

• Katherine: “Did I mention how inconvenient your obsession with me has been?”
Damon: “You and me both, honey.”

And Pieces:

• Alaric’s wrist-stake thing will always remind me of Wesley and his karaté.

• Hey, random thought: who did Mayor Lockwood kill to become a werewolf?

• Katherine and her witch twice referred to themselves in terms of dating. Hot lesbian vampires? Dimitri, you really should start watching VD.

• Katherine looked so beautiful in that dress. Caroline looked terrible in hers. If a dress makes Caroline look misshapen, it’s just not made right.

I’m going to let all of you rate this one. How many distant Bennett cousins out of four?
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Star Trek: Catspaw

Spock: "Under these conditions, fog is highly unlikely, Captain."

There aren't a lot of Halloween episodes on science fiction shows, possibly because witches, haunted castles and black cats don't blend that well with starships and aliens. I wrote a review of the Rocky Horror Picture Show last weekend and I couldn't stop thinking about it while writing this review. It was a dark and stormy night, and our starship broke down. Didn't we pass a castle back down the road a few miles?

Much of this episode is fun, though. The many scenes where our heroes were chained in the dungeon had some great humor; at one point, Kirk turned to McCoy, started to address him as "Bones," noticed the skeleton behind him and changed it to "Doc." At another point, Shatner looked pointedly at the same skeleton drooping hopelessly in its chains, and aptly mimicked its position. I've always liked the voodoo thingy with the Enterprise in a block of plastic, too. (I'd love to have that prop. It's now in the Air and Space Museum.)

And I have to give them points for Sylvia as the giant black cat. Does anyone doubt that if their pussycat was suddenly twelve feet tall, they'd be in serious trouble? And they did have a pretty good explanation, that Korob and Sylvia were aiming for the conscious mind, missed, and hit the subconscious. Maybe Jackson had a serious Halloween phobia or something.

There are some elements that come off as pretty silly, of course. The three semitransparent witches singing their lines were probably the least effective. Sulu and Scott as automatons was too familiar. Korob's and Sylvia's actual physical appearance was pretty funny; they reminded me of blue parakeets in Mardi Gras outfits.

But this was the first of several episodes featuring wildly inhuman aliens taking on human bodies and getting all confused by their brand new hormones, and I always rather enjoyed that theme. (It was a way to write stories about very alien aliens while still making it easy to cast the roles; there aren't a lot of blue parakeets in Hollywood looking for work.) It seems to be a Star Trek rule that most aliens and all androids don't experience physical pleasure before encountering our heroes -- but once they get a taste, they want it all the time. Another parallel to Rocky Horror.

And doesn't "transmuter" sound a lot like "transducer?"

Ben says...

Spooky! I am thinking maybe holiday themed episodes don't work all that well. There is something incongruous about Earthly holidays in space, and Halloween is already so separated from any original meaning that taking the spook-fest into orbit doubly doesn't work.

But boy, that "I am a god-like alien with an incredibly fragile power source who had chosen to appear as a character from human history/mythology" is the gift that just keeps on giving. What is less well-known is there were several other scripts that were floated with the same basic theme.

Top 3 God-like alien disguises rejected in season 2 episodes:

3. Truman Capote and Harper Lee (Title: "For Fame is Hollow but I Have Touched a Guy." Power source: martini glass. Rejected as too debauched)

2. Lassie and Rin-tin-tin (Title: "Who Mourns for a Doggie" or "DogsPaw." Power source: flea collar. Rejected as a shaggy dog story)

1. Lenin and Marx ("Mirrorski, Mirrorski" in which the Enterprise is run by Communists and the shoddily built transporter never works, oh wait... , Power source: Steel factory. Rejected as too likely to get Gene Roddenberry blacklisted)

Don't get me started on the whole Jesus, Mohammad and Buddha in a space lifeboat, just describing it would get me excommunicated, a fatwa put on me and make my next three reincarnations as a lower form of life (y'know squirrel, lawyer, something bad). But as always, I digress.

Back to Billie for bits and pieces:

-- Star date 3018.2. Pyris 7.

-- This episode was the first one produced in season two, but they held it back in order to air it right before Halloween.

-- Spock knew about Earth legends, demons and wizards, but had never heard of Halloween traditions?

-- Sylvia is the first beautiful female alien we see turning into a black cat. But not the last.

-- DeSalle was left in command. He changed his tunic from gold to red, and left all of his facial expressions at home.

-- In this week's hair report, the hurricane force winds outside the castle made Kirk's hair nearly take flight. And Chekov was back in his bad wig, because this episode was filmed earlier and out of order.

-- I wonder why there were so many close-ups of Uhura's console? It sort of went with the close-ups of the jewels on the plates in the castle. Perhaps the director was intrigued by small, bright, shiny objects in primary colors?

Quotes:

McCoy: "The man is dead."
Perfect opportunity for "He's dead, Jim." But no.

Kirk: "Spock. Comment?"
Spock: "Very bad poetry, Captain."
Kirk: "A more useful comment, Mister Spock."

Kirk: "If we weren't missing two officers and the third one dead, I'd say someone was playing an elaborate trick or treat on us."
Spock: "Trick or treat, Captain?"
Kirk: "Yes, Mister Spock. You'd be a natural."

Kolob: (to Spock) "You see all this around you and yet you do not believe."
McCoy: "He doesn't know about trick or treat."

Two out of four giant black cats,

Billie

All of our Star Trek reviews are archived here.
Photo credit: Memory Alpha

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The Rocky Horror Glee Show

“How did a production of Rocky Horror turn into... my horror?”

Glee got its freak on this week with the perfect episode for Halloween, the Rocky Horror Glee Show. We got some interesting and original themes such as the use and abuse of shock value in the arts and the guys’ body issues, and some tired plots such as Will’s desperation to impress Emma, leading to an inappropriately sexual performance for which he then apologises – sound familiar?

I hate to start off with a moan, but I found it hard to get past Glee’s overly self-aware method of dealing with Fox’s censorship – turn it into one of the central plot points of the episode. Whilst it was understandable that Mr Shue might have to edit the Rocky Horror Picture Show (RHPS) in order to make it palatable to parents and conservative minds, some of the censorship very obviously came from Fox itself. For example John Stamos was originally planned to play Frank’N’Furter. The Glee writers certainly did the best they could, working in discussions about the whether the arts should be allowed to show risqué material as part of the freedom of creative expression, or whether pushing boundaries is only ok when there is a genuine message behind it. Strangely enough, Sue was the voice of reason, her undercover exposé coming off as strangely level-headed and moderate especially when juxtaposed against Will’s crazy macho desire to ‘win’ Emma to make her better himself. I hadn’t noticed the writers assassinating his character until now, but this just isn’t the same guy we saw in Season 1. Please make Will normal again writers! Leave the crazy schemes to Rachel, who does it better.

I thought most of the characters were well cast in their RHPS roles. It was a no-brainer that Rachel and Finn would be Janet and Brad, and it looked like Rachel at least was having a lot of fun! Santana and Brittany were also a great couple as Magenta and Columbia, and for me their gleeful cavorting in the hall during Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch Me was a highlight of the episode. I thought it was believable that Kurt might refuse to play Frank’N’Furter (though really, he didn’t have a leg to stand on considering his Gaga outfit) but his bald leering as Riff Raff was royally creepy. Mercedes was a bit lacking in edge as Frank’N’Furter, but I think that wasn’t the writers’ first choice. Poor Artie, he was completely pre-cast by his chair. Sam looked quite similar to the original Rocky, I’m glad they got him down to the ridiculous gold hotpants at least briefly! It’s a shame Puck wasn’t in this episode, it’s pretty funny to imagine him and Sam clashing over who would get to be the male eye-candy in their production. If you’re wondering when Puck will return, don’t worry, you won’t have to wait long.

It was fascinating watching our Glee men deal with their body issues. I had always wondered why Finn wore such shapeless t-shirts and it makes perfect sense that he’d have mild body dysmorphia. It’s original to have a quarterback on an American show who doesn’t have rippling muscles and isn’t confident with his body. Even though his sudden desire to strut down the hall in his boxers was ridiculous and came out of nowhere, he made an interesting contrast to Sam I Am, whose confidence is dependent on his body, even though he does look amazing, it’s likely that Finn has a healthier outlook, despite his issues. Artie’s take on why male bodies get more scrutiny these days was hilarious but I think he’s wrong that women are starting to think more like men. I think it’s only natural that in today’s image obsessed society, women should be able to demand that men take just as much care of themselves as they do.

Bits and Pieces:

- Nice cameo from Barry Bostwick and Meatloaf who were in the RHPS film.

- Hurrah cheerleader Becky is involved in the main plot this episode.

- I want to dress as Sue for Halloween too!

- ‘Pain is Temporary’ sign, awesome. Nice one Coach Bieste!

- Sue would have made a great Criminologist dancing on the table in The Time Warp. Oh well.

- The question of funding for travel to Nationals came up. I’m sure that’ll be pursued again in the near future.

- Sue has mad pumpkin carving skillz.

- I loved the shout-outs to fans that go to the stage show (although I’ve never been), like Sue getting confused about the toast throwing and Will and Emma heckling with “....Pation!” during Sweet Transvestite.

Glee Against the Music:

Science Fiction/Double Feature: What a wonderful song. This was my favourite song from the film and I was worried they wouldn’t include it in Glee, but instead we got Santana’s luscious lips over the opening credits in a straight homage which started the episode perfectly and made me wonder whether the whole episode would be scenes from the film.

Over at the Frankenstein Place: Decent song to set the scene and continue the illusion that the whole episode was going to be done as a Glee version of the film.

Dammit Janet: Well done Glee for having a leading man and lady who fit Brad and Janet so well that they crushed the song without looking like they were even trying. I loved the klutzy choreography.

Hot Patootie: A lot of fun! I didn’t like the film version that much, I was stuck wondering why Meatloaf was interrupting a perfectly charming evening – but John Stamos nailed the song and I was won over along with the Glee kids. Still, i’d rather have seen him in lipstick and fishnets.

Sweet Transvestite: I can’t fault Amber Riley’s performance, but no one can compare to Tim Curry in the film. Anyone who enjoyed this song but hasn’t seen The RHPS film NEEDS to go and watch it, now. It is a strange and sad day when “Transsexual Transylvania” must be changed to “sensational Transylvania” on a show that is all about celebrating who you are.

Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch Me: Wow Matthew Morrison and Jayma Mays really set fire to the screen with this one. The inception of a Glee RHPS episode came when Jayma performed this in her audition, so it is unsurprising that she did it brilliantly. Grrrg, argh, again with the unnecessary changing of lyrics! What on earth do “heavy sweating” and “bad fretting” mean? Aren’t “heavy petting” and “seat-wetting” fairly tame lyrics?

The Time Warp: Mucho fun! How very Glee that the kids performed the last number just for themselves.

Quotes for Gleeks:

Kurt: “So what are you going to be for Halloween this year?”
Brittany: “I’m going as a peanut allergy.”

Will: Internal monologue. “The sandwich. The theatre. He’s actually making her better. He’s winning!”

Will: “This week’s musical lesson isn’t really a lesson. It’s a musical.”
Rachel: “PleasebePhantompleasebePhantompleasebe...”

Finn: “I have no idea what’s going on in this script and it’s not in a cool Inception kind of way.”

Andrea: “....making it the zoo’s first Unitarian chimp wedding in over six years!”

Sue: “Halloween is fast approaching. The day when parents encourage little boys to dress like little girls, and little girls to dress like whores.”

Sue: “We’ve lost the true meaning of Halloween. Fear! Halloween is that magical day of the year when a child is told their grandmother’s a demon who’s been feeding them rat casserole with a crunchy garnish of their own scabs.”

Tim (Barry Bostwick): “Mexican terrorist ants!”

Santana: “Earlier today Artie asked if he could make a giant omelette when I’m done with the ostrich eggs I’m smuggling in my bra.”

Sam: “Ain’t no carpool lane to sexy.”

Emma: “Yes it’s a dream come true! I mean the costume designing is a dream come true not the spending a lot of time – not that spending a lot of time wouldn’t - because of Carl, I’ve got the Carl!”

Mike: “I really wanna do it but they’re just not cool with me dressing up like a tranny.”

Sue: “People who dress like librarians – all sex addicts.”

Finn: “I don’t have to hide behind my muscles like you do.”
Sam: “Awesome! I think. Are you insulting me?”

But the quote of the night surprisingly goes to Becky: "Give me some chocolate or I will cut you."

All in all they did a pretty decent job integrating the bizarre and wonderfully awful RHPS into a cohesive Glee episode with great songs, a decent plot and some interesting issues explored.

Three out of four peanut allergy costumes.

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Stargate Universe: Cloverdale

... in which we take a strange detour into the mind of Lt. Matthew Scott, while his friends and shipmates attempt to save him from a deadly contagion.

I’m anticipating disagreement this week, but I thought ‘Cloverdale’ was another solid episode. The direction they took the planet-bound story was rather predictable --- as soon as they indicated the infection wouldn’t respond to any agent T.J. attempted to use, it seemed pretty clear that altered Chloe would provide the miracle cure --- however, I loved how this turn of events forced Chloe to reveal that she’s still under the alien influence, and now Scott may be infected, too. She just traded certain death for Scott for a far more uncertain and possibly worse fate, and even though Rush seems to think that’s a bargain Scott would be willing to make, I’m not at all sure that she made the right call. I can’t wait to see where it goes next.

Much to my surprise, I also found the journey into the mind of Matthew Scott to be fairly engaging. Usually I don’t much care about Scott, but I was really fascinated by which crew members appeared in his hallucinated world and their roles and relationships with him. It gave us some interesting perspective on how he sees himself and everyone in his life. I was particularly intrigued by a much more relaxed and happy Young as his father, Telford as town sheriff, and Rush as a cagey justice of the peace who’s rather critical of Young. Eli as Chloe’s brother and wedding videographer was fitting, but I thought it was strange that T.J. only appeared as a random EMT, given that she and Scott seem to be close in real life. I would have expected her to play a more prominent role in his fever dream. Brody running the bar, on the other hand, was hilarious!

I think my favorite aspect of Scott’s hallucination was how the wedding scenario gave us some wonderful insight into his hopes, dreams, and fears. He’s clearly very conflicted about his feelings for Chloe. He loves her, and he wants to be with her, but he’s not sure he’s the guy she deserves or can build a life with. At the very least, he’s got serious doubts that building a life together is what’s in the cards for them as a couple, whether because of his own “not a one-girl guy” nature or because of what’s happening to her. You could easily read the entire end sequence at the wedding as Scott trying to come to terms with his fears about what Chloe is becoming. From his concerns about hurting her (if she turns into something he has to kill, for instance), to his “dad” telling him to “Wake up!” to the wonderfully terrifying reveal of Chloe’s alien face during the ceremony. Even the wedding vows in the voiceover could be viewed as him deciding whether to commit to Chloe no matter what she turns into.

I will say that, while I found the episode to be an engaging hour, it left me with lots of questions regarding the overall story. How long has it been since the last episode? Why were they on that planet in the first place? Did Rush direct them there? For what purpose? And what’s going on with the Alliance integration with the crew? Also, I’m kind of bummed that we didn’t get some extended story time with Rush secretly using Chloe for his own ends. I really thought they’d play that out a bit longer.

Other Thoughts

Loved the school photo of young Brian J. Smith on the table behind Scott in his dad’s living room!

I liked the way they used the hallucinated movie to tell the audience what had happened to Scott in the first place. Unique.

Telford: “But, I’m sorry to tell you, when you wake up, you’re gonna feel guilty for things you’ve done or said. Some of it you won’t even remember. It’ll just be a blur. And you’re gonna wonder if you’re ever gonna feel like the person you used to be again.”
I really loved the subtext about Telford’s brainwashing experience in this scene.

Chloe: “So that’s why you do things? Because you’re supposed to?”
Scott: “Sometimes.”

It was pretty obvious they weren’t going to cut off Scott’s arm, but the way they got out of it was surprisingly organic. I was preparing from some ridiculous last minute intervention, but his changed blood color revealing that the infection had already spread seemed reasonably realistic.

Rush: “You are going to die, Matthew. We all will, eventually.”
I think more a reflection on Scott’s fears about everyone aboard the Destiny, rather than his predicament in the moment.

I really liked the beats between Chloe and Eli after she infected herself. David Blue did a great job conveying the absolute shock and betrayal that Eli felt by Chloe choosing to give up on life and everyone else just to “keep a dying boy company.” I think this may irrevocably change their relationship. It should be interesting to see where they go from here.

After this latest, more introspective episode, my husband confessed his interest in SGU is starting to waver. Given how bad the ratings have been getting, I can see that he’s not alone. Apparently, even the folks who like darker, character-focused sci-fi still want some action and story progression. (I remember similar complaints during the second season of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.) For me, SGU is still pretty engaging. I guess I like a good character study --- to a point. I remember reaching my limit with the slow burn on T:SCC, and I’m rapidly losing my patience and interest with the sloooow build on Caprica. I’m not yet at my limit with this show, but hopefully they pick up the pace soon and stop the hemorrhaging viewership. If it's not already too late.

Final Analysis: A surprisingly fascinating hour that gives us new perspective on Scott and leaves us in an interesting jumping off point for the next episode.

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Chuck: Chuck versus the Aisle of Terror

Casey: “Chuck, how’d you get here?”
Chuck: “My mom dropped me off.”

Chuck has officially left the will-they-or-won’t-they problem behind. Now we’ve got a bigger problem: is she or isn’t she? (Before your mind goes to a dirty place, I’m talking about whether or not Chuck’s mom is a good spy or a bad spy.) All of that pales in comparison, though, to the real point of tonight’s episode: How To Get Along With Prospective And Actual In-Laws.


Morgan and His Girlfriend’s Dad (aka Casey)

These two are hilarious together, and that’s why they get first billing in tonight’s in-law lineup. Now that Casey has decided to permit Morgan to be with 100 yards of his daughter, he’s taken him under his wing, too. Sure, you could argue that using Morgan as bait (or “the magnet”) isn’t really helping him learn anything at all. But I like to think that Casey believes in the tough-love school of spydom. Besides, Morgan has started conversing in grunts just like Casey!

Morgan and His Mother’s Lover (aka Big Mike)

Okay, so this is a bit of a stretch: we only got one Morgan/Big Mike scene. But I don’t want to neglect El Segundo’s School of Finance’s most prestigious alumnus.

Ellie and Awesome’s Mom (aka Honey)

So this is how you make an Awesome cardiac surgeon: no to bears, yes to dictionaries. You also work in snarky comments about the cleanliness of kitchen cabinets. Despite Honey’s flaws, though, Ellie has a great attitude: one part amusement, one part rage, and one part gratitude. No matter what happens with Mama B, Ellie does have a great resource to help her learn the ins-and-outs of motherhood—you just know that Honey would love a frantic 4am phone call about ear infections and colic. There’s something to be said for that, all things considered.

Sarah, Mama B, and Chuck

One of my favorite things about Chuck is that there are very few surprises. Chuck gets shot? Yeah, he’ll be fine. His mom shot him? Oh, she didn’t mean it. This show is incredibly averse to messing up the status quo (it did take them three years to get Chuck and Sarah together), and I really doubted they’d sideline the eponymous hero. I expected this episode to have a few double- and triple-twists, but wind up with everyone coming together, even if it was just for a moment.

But I didn’t count on Casey’s and Sarah’s tenacity. They’re not just good at their jobs—they’re looking out for their friend. The revelation that Mama B really might be evil shocked me, especially since it meant that Chuck had to reveal more of the story to poor Ellie, who must be horrified by the world she keeps getting glimpses of. Sarah said she was looking out for Chuck’s blind spot, and that’s exactly what she’s doing. That won’t make it hurt any less if she’s right, though. And it might throw a real wrench into the works if she’s wrong and Chuck is forced to choose between his mother and his girlfriend.

Nothing To Do With In-Laws…

A constant tension on Chuck is how our hero can reconcile his inherently good, trusting nature with the deviousness and deception required of his lifestyle. Last week, we got hints that Chuck might be getting a bit more pragmatic. Tonight, Chuck explained his mother’s betrayal by telling Ellie that mom is a spy—on the face of it, that’s an obvious explanation. But is Chuck commenting on the nature of spy life? Does he see all spies as doomed to deception and double-crosses? Will his childhood abandonment issues cause him to deceive his “family” at Castle and the BuyMore, and Ellie?

…Although In-Laws Are Scary

I can’t believe that I’ve gotten this far without mentioning this episode’s main conceit: Robert Englund and the neurotoxin of terror. I’m not much of a horror fan, and I thought the nightmare sequences were a bit cheesy, especially since I assumed an antidote would emerge in due time. But I was amused by the aisle of terror. I also really liked that Wheelwright was just as horrified as Jeffster wanted everyone to be.

Bites:

• Morgan: “Not bad scary, like war, and bears.”

• Morgan: “Morgan Grimes, not just for the ladies any more.”

• Big Mike: “There’s even a catchy phrase: ‘Get it off your plate; give it to other people.’”
Morgan: “Don’t you mean, ‘Get it off your plate. Delegate’?”
Big Mike: “No, I do not. You are not a rhyming monkey.”

• Casey: “Two fugitives and a dangerous weapon on the loose. Go team.” This was sort of a weird line, coming from Casey.

• Honey: “Devin was amazing, right from the start. Amazing genes, I guess. Don’t you worry, this little wonder is half-way there.” What a great sneaky insult.

• Honey: “Babies love dictionaries.”

• Jeff: “Is it a baby, or a snail?”

And Pieces:

• In case you didn’t know, Robert Englund played Freddy Krueger in the Nightmare on Elm Street series.

• I loved Sarah’s glasses when she was playing the maitre d’ at the restaurant.

• Did anyone else want Mama B to say “Come with me if you want to live” when she pulled up to Chuck behind the BuyMore?

This was a solid episode. After last week’s awesomeness, Chuck had a lot to live up to. This episode’s main conceit wasn’t the best ever (at least for me), but did a great job with character development and setting up tensions that will be, I assume, gradually resolved over the course of the season. There wasn't too much BuyMore, but just enough. And all the plot threads did tie together, which was a neat trick. Or maybe a neat treat?

Three out of four rhyming monkeys.
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Dexter: First Blood

Lumen: "If you had something horrible happen to you, could you just forget about it and move on?"

Well, no.

Dexter has spent his life reacting to something horrible that happened to him. Which is why I found this episode frustrating. Geez, Dexter. You obviously want to hunt them down. Lumen desperately needs help hunting them down. Will you just give up the fight and hunt them down, already?

Is it just "Harry" that's stopping Dexter, his inner voice of self-preservation? Is Dexter afraid that Lumen will take that first murderous step (first blood) and become a serial killer, too? Is he worried that he'll eventually have to kill her if he gets further involved? Probably all of the above. Yes, Lumen is a risk, but come on -- is there anything in Dexter's life that isn't a risk? Lumen is desperate, and Dexter is her best option. Who knows? Maybe they'll bond and she'll be able to handle what he really is. Stranger things have happened.

So trust issues were the theme of the day, and not just between Dexter and Lumen. Deb wanted to sleep with Quinn while continuing to keep him at a distance, while Quinn reciprocated by not telling Deb the truth about his "time off." And Maria won't talk to Angel, even though she went above and beyond to get him off the hook. Admirable on her part, but she knows she is married to a sweet but macho detective. Why was she surprised that he followed her, or by his reaction?

Dexter can't let go and trust that things with Harrison will be okay, either. The thing with Mommy and Me and the cut on the cheek was almost funny; it was so symbolic of Dexter's fear that his son will wind up like him, right down to the specimen slides. Dexter and Deb are experiencing some conflict, too. Dexter doesn't understand why Deb is sleeping with Quinn when she doesn't even like him. I'm sort of with Dexter there.

Quinn, who deliberately tried to kiss Deb in front of Dexter, has now recruited RoboCop. Could be interesting. Peter Weller is an interesting actor; that was a fun scene in the bar.

Bits and pieces:

-- How many of you knew that Lumen wouldn't get on the plane? That many, huh? To be fair, she probably meant to go before the airport people patted her down. That was an effective scene.

-- Lots of boats in the background. Yes, there are often boats since it's Miami, but it just seemed like more than usual. The one behind Lumen at the restaurant said, "Spirit" and was tied up at the dock. Could that be our Most Obvious Symbolism? Lumen was ripping up sugar packets during that scene, too.

-- The Santa whatever killings are piling up. And rotting. Yech.

-- That was some tatt Masuka had on his back. Very Masuka.

-- Katherine Moennig, who played tatt virtuoso Michael Angelo, also played my favorite character on The L-Word. Was it just L-Word vibes, or was she coming on to Deb?

-- Dexterino?

-- Dexter nearly killed Boyd's buddy at the Florida Welcome Center. I didn't think Dexter ever used a kill room twice. It's where he kept Lumen, too. Isn't that a bit risky for ubercareful Dexter?

-- Those two women at Mommy and Me were gossiping about what happened to Rita. Maybe Dexter should think seriously about relocating.

-- Tuttle Bridge was too creepy. Bleah. To be honest, though, I don't feel at all outraged that convicted pedophiles and sex offenders can't live a normal life. Their victims can't, either.

Quotes:

Dexter: "Masuka didn't begin to keep up with the case load."
Deb: "Well, good luck getting the midget porn off your hard drive."

Angel: "Would you ever..."
Deb: "I would rather put a campfire out with my face."

Masuka: "Tramp stamp. I think I'm in love."
Deb: "She's into needles. Why don't you show her your dick?"

Dexter: "Is there darkness in Harrison? Or is it just my own fear being reflected back?" The second one, Dexter.

I never give a Dexter episode less than three stars, but even though it was good, I was sort of frustrated with this one. What did you guys think? Click on a rating, and that's what I'll give it,

Billie

All of my Dexter reviews are archived here.

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Farscape: Till the Blood Runs Clear

After his module gets damaged while creating a wormhole, Crichton and Aeryn are forced to put down on a nearby planet for repairs. While waiting, they discover Crais has been placing “wanted” beacons for D’Argo, Zhaan, and Rygel throughout the Uncharted Territories, and soon find themselves pretending to be bounty hunters to protect their shipmates from Blood Trackers.

A much better effort than last week’s. Actually, from a story perspective, the episode really wasn’t all that, but the character dynamics and interactions felt so much more natural and in-character that I left this one feeling pretty happy overall.

The basic premise was decent enough. Having Crichton modify his module to attempt to create another wormhole was a good idea. Now that his initial “fish-out-of-water” flailing about is lessening, I’m glad the writers are letting him become more proactive in his search for home. And introducing a new character with an interest in using wormholes for profit could be interesting. I’m not sure when or if we’ll see Furlow again --- she was fairly entertaining, so I wouldn’t be disappointed if we did --- but just the concept that wormholes could be more than a freak phenomena in this ‘verse, and that Crichton may hold the key to controlling them, opens the door to stretch the story beyond “running from an insane military commander and looking for a way home” territory.

Speaking of that insane military commander, I really like the addition of bounty hunters to the mix. After searching fruitlessly on his own, it makes perfect sense that Crais would put a bounty on the escapees’ heads and make them the “Unchartered Territories Most Wanted.” The situation for Moya’s crew has now become that much more untenable, and this turn of events could lead to some interesting encounters in the future. That said, I did not really enjoy Crichton’s alpha dog posturing with the Blood Trackers. It was kind of funny at first (Butch and Sundance from the Hole in the Sky Gang --- ha!), but it got tiresome very quickly.

At least the run-in with the Blood Trackers led to a cathartic confrontation between Crichton and D’Argo. At this point in their misadventures, it seems to me that Crichton has more than proven his mettle and his worth, and it made little sense that D’Argo was still giving him a constant rash of grief. It was a relief to finally see those two hash out their differences; to “stimulate the blood flow,” as it were, lest it become toxic. Now that they’ve had it out and agreed to be allies, I’m hoping we’ll see a lasting change in their relationship. (We all know how seriously D’Argo takes his responsibilities to allies.) I’d really like to see an end to D’Argo’s completely irrational and self-righteous attitude towards Crichton. He had some nerve giving Crichton a hard time for wanting to pursue a chance to get home after what he did to Pilot, and I was really glad to see John call him on it.

Crichton: “I just wanted to go home.”
D’Argo: “With no matter to the cost to the rest of us.”
Crichton: “What?! Oh, right. Remind me, who chopped off Pilot’s arm so he could get a return ticket? Huh? No, wasn’t me. I was too busy saving your ass. Keeping your deepest family secrets.”

Aeryn, on the other hand, had very good reason to be upset with Crichton. He lured her out in the module without bothering to tell her he was trying to open a wormhole. Did he even consider that she might not want to dive into the first available wormhole to see where it would take them? “You’re with me on this, right?” “Oh, now it occurs to you to ask.” Very selfish, indeed.

Other Thoughts

So, solar flare + atmospheric slingshot maneuver = wormhole. Got it.

Aeryn had some nice character moments this week, first pondering Crais’s offer, then having to cope with blindness, and, finally, once again using her mind to solve a problem. It was great to see her so proud of herself for devising the holo-recording plan. “Good idea.” “Best I’ve had yet!” The gigantic smile on her face while the recording was playing was awesome.

Zhaan’s photogasms were a riot. I especially enjoyed Rygel’s reaction to it all.

Rygel: “Zhaan. Are you fully clothed?” [Cover his eyes.]
Zhaan: [Laughs.] “I’m not wearing a scrap. I’m as nude [whispering in his ear] as a newborn baby.”
Rygel: “Then go away. And don’t insult my eyes with your naked blue extremities.”
Zhaan: “Which ones in particular don’t you like? (Seductively) Show them to me.”
Rygel: “No, thank you.”
[She uncovers his eyes.]
Rygel (with eyes still closed): “Aaah! Help, help! A mad Delvian exhibitionist is forcing herself on me!”

Before we watched, I kept telling my husband the upcoming episode was the one with the “dog-faced people,” having completely forgotten that Crichton had to interact with the Blood Trackers as though they were dogs. I was more right than I realized!

During the “outstanding expanse of sand” scenes, I kept wondering if they had filmed this episode in some of the same locations as The Road Warrior.

The badass desert walking music for D’Argo’s and Zhaan’s struts towards the town made me laugh.

We got a few beats referencing Moya’s pregnancy. Note how it is already becoming a problem for the crew. “Moya doesn’t want to put her baby at risk.”

Aeryn seemed to believe the guy trying to steal the module data was a bounty hunter. Hmmm. Seemed to me that he was operating at Furlow’s behest. We know she had a strong interest in the data, and she rather conveniently killed him when the theft went awry.

Quotes

Zhaan: “Be careful, John. This star is unusually erratic.”
Aeryn: “Sounds just like Crichton.”

D’Argo: “What is a pain in the ass?”
Zhaan: “Human speak, I believe. For someone irritating, stubborn, obnoxious.”
Rygel: “A simpleton. A dolt. Idiot.”
D’Argo: “I get the idea.”
Rygel: “Moron.”

Rorf (to Crichton): “Is this your fe-male?”
Aeryn: “I am no one’s female!”

Holo-Crais: “Abandon the human criminal. Return the Leviathan. Surrender Ka D’Argo, Pa’u Zotoh Zhaan, and Dominar Rygel XVI. Comply, and you will retire … honorably. With your commission fully restored. You have my oath, as a Peacekeeper.”
Crichton: “Yeah, well we know what that’s worth.”
My thoughts exactly.

Aeryn (re: Crais): “I always take him seriously.”

Furlow: “Why don’t you go for a nice little walk outside. Take in some of the sights.”
Aeryn: “What sights?”
Furlow: “Well, if you go straight out that way, there’s a truly outstanding expanse of sand.”

Crichton: “I’m tired of sticking my hand out, only to have you snap at it.”
D’Argo: “Every time I let down my guard, you disappoint me.”
Crichton (sarcastically): “Sorry. I’m only human.”
D’Argo (somewhat chastened): “You look so much like a Peacekeeper, I often forget.”

Crichton: “This isn’t gonna work, is it? We’re never gonna be friends.”
D’Argo: “Friendship is a lot to ask.”
[Long pause.]
Crichton: “Then how about respect? We can be allies.”

Aeryn: “What he means by ‘honorable retirement’ is a radiation-induced brain fever to bring on the living death.”
Crichton: “Well, if you knew the offer was bogus, why did you even listen to it?”
Aeryn: “Because it was nice, just for a moment, to believe it was genuine. That I could go back.”

Furlow: “You know, the ability to create a stable wormhole, travel through space and time, would be … incredibly …”
Crichton: “Profitable?”
Furlow: “Probably.”

Furlow (parting shot): “You sure you don’t want that thing detailed?”

Final Analysis: Not the strongest story overall, but a return to form in the character interactions department makes ‘Till the Blood Runs Clear’ feel like a much better episode than the last outing. Hopefully, this marks a step forward in the relationship between D’Argo and Crichton.

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Smallville: Isis

Tess: "Lois finds a necklace, gets possessed by an Egyptian goddess, and now is flying around like Amelia Earhart minus the plane."
Oliver: "Just another Friday night in Metropolis."

So one of the cast is possessed by an ancient being and wreaks havoc with newly acquired superpowers. Why does this sound so familiar? I can't even count the times they've done an episode like this, and even though Erica Durance rocked that goddess outfit, a recycled plot is a recycled plot.

Then again, any episode after the last one was bound to be a let-down, and I know we can't always get leaps forward in the plot. It made sense to do an episode about risking everything for love, since Lois and Clark are now officially, finally, at long last, happening. "Today" must be Lois and Clark's anniversary, the day he finally trusted her enough to take the leap. The last five minutes made the episode worth it; I loved Lois' reaction when he finally told her the truth that she already knew. Romantic Lois, and I know I've said this before, is such a fun change after years of sassy, abrasive Lois. It's so sweet.

I complain a lot about Tess, mostly because her personality and motivation seems to change to fit the plot. But I almost liked her in this episode. Laughing wildly at Cat's theory that Lois was the Blur. Inadvertently taking over for Chloe and joining "the team." (Nooooooo!) What she's doing with Alexander is an interesting direction for her character, too. At least Tess understands that isolating and observing fast-growing baby Alexander is not what he needs. Lex might have turned out a lot differently if he'd been loved during his formative years. We shall see.

In keeping with our love theme, Oliver is still carrying a torch for the missing Chloe. And I get the feeling Tess still loves Oliver. Hard to tell with Tess. I think Oliver chose the right woman. I just wish she'd come back. It doesn't seem like Smallville without Chloe.

Bits and pieces:

-- Good effects in this one. Clark and Oliver tag teaming the amulet off Lois' neck was cool.

-- Dan thinks Cat is well-cast and rather funny. He's probably right, but I just want her to go away.

-- Did those fruit baskets people sent Oliver seem menacing to you? They did to me.

-- This week's Most Obvious Symbolism in an episode about love had to be the actual crumbling heart of Osiris. Possibly not a good sign.

-- Oliver: (to Tess) "Welcome to the team." Billie: "Nooooooooooooo!"

Two out of four crumbling mummified hearts,

Billie

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Supernatural: Live Free or Twi-Hard

Robert: "You must be starving. Here you go."
Dean: "I'm okay. I killed so many people on the way over here."

This episode bummed me out. And it started so well. The Twilight parody opener with "Kristen" and "Robert" was perfect, right down to the creepy teen obsession, longing looks and stilted romantic dialogue. They even got the name "Lautner" in there.

But I hate seeing Dean as a monster. There are a lot of fictional vampires that I find really sexy, but it's not a good look for Dean, since fighting monsters is such a huge part of his identity. (Sam's usually the monster, not Dean.) Actually, I just realized that Dean's face when he was a vampire reminded me of how he looked when he was forced to torture Alastair; complete misery overlaid by suicidal deadpan discipline. He kept his bloodlust under strict control while he went all superhunter with vampire strength and enhanced senses. Actually, that was rather cool. As was Sam with a machete.

But -- again -- we all know that genre shows have to have rules. One of the things that made Gordon getting turned so frightening was that we knew there was no cure. And now there's a cure. And an alpha vamp. Two episodes ago, we got an alpha shifter, too. So they just changed the shifter rules *and* the vampire rules. I assume they're going somewhere with this, and not just changing monster rules willy nilly?

(Actually, the brand new and convenient vampire cure involving the one that turned you sounded a lot like the werewolf cure that didn't work on Madison. Maybe because she'd already killed someone?)

I saved the worst for last. Sam deliberately allowed Dean to get infected, and Dean knows it. It even looked like Sam was turned on, much like his demon blood addiction days. All Sam cares about now is killing monsters. He's become a hunting automaton. He's lying to Samuel, too; I don't think Samuel knows what's going on with Sam, either.

That "how long has it been since we had a beer together" scene made me realize that I've more than had enough. I want my Sam back, and I want him now.

Bits and pieces:

-- I've heard the word "Twi-Hard" before; it's a serious Twilight fan. I think.

-- Dean cares enough about Lisa and Ben that he felt driven to see them one last time.

-- The alpha vamp in the glimpses we saw looked like Rick Worthy, who played one of the Cylons on Battlestar. Or was it just someone who looked like Rick Worthy? And what was with the twins?

-- There was no mention of Dean just living with (so to speak) being a vampire, like the character played by Amber Benson. Shouldn't it have been a possibility?

-- Loved the uncomfortable vampire fist bump.

-- The curly-haired vamp who turned Dean seemed to be really into him. Dean's discomfort with it was sort of funny, sort of not.

-- This week: where were they? Did I miss it? They stayed at the Nite Owl Hotel, which I assume was a vampire joke.

-- No Misha in this episode. Can angels cure vampirism, too?

Quotes:

Dean: "Look at this. He's watching her sleep. How is that not rape-y?"
And yet, later on after getting vamped, Dean watched Lisa sleep. Nice touch.

Sam: "Where are you going?"
Dean: "Bathroom, okay? Newsflash, Mister Wizard. Vampires pee."
Good to know.

Dean: "Oh, god. I'm Pattinson."

Dean: (to Sam) "Dude, you reek. You're like a walking hamburger."

There was definitely good stuff in this episode, but not enough for me. Two out of four nauseating vampire cures,

Billie

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Rocky Horror Picture Show

"I would like, if I may, to take you on a strange journey."

[Next week, Glee is doing a Halloween salute to the Rocky Horror Picture Show, and that pushed me into finally doing a review of it. If you've never seen RHPS, take my advice -- rent it and watch it at home the first time! It's sort of impossible to see it as a movie if you go to a midnight showing.]

Many moons ago, the Rocky Horror Picture Show had been around forever but I had never seen it. I was sort of semi-aware of it without knowing what it was. Of course, I'd noticed the sign on the local theater for a midnight showing, and heard references to it that I pretty much ignored. And then one day I rented it. I got about ten minutes into it, stopped, and went to fetch Dan from a neighbor's. "You've got to see this," I told him.

RHPS is one of those extreme movie experiences that you either love or you don't. I loved it. Fortunately, Dan loved it, too; he says RHPS is the very definition of something that's so bad that it's good. I loaned it to a close friend the next day, and she hated it. Why? I have absolutely no idea.

But we're talking about me. Why do I enjoy RHPS? Why does anyone love anything? There's something about this stupid movie that speaks to me, and it has nothing to do with cross-dressing or throwing toast. RHPS has become a camp classic because it has a strong theme that resonated with its original audience. It's about sexual freedom and personal expression. It's about breaking out of your societal straitjacket and fulfilling your dreams. In a way, even though it's not really science fiction, it does what science fiction does: its very unreality can make you see things from a different perspective.

RHPS makes me laugh. I sing along. I quote the dialogue. Yes, I'll readily admit that there are some weak bits (Columbia's lyrics are incomprehensible, and Rocky himself is awful) and I like first half of the movie better than the second. But I enjoy it every time I watch it, and how many movies can you say that about? The music is extremely catchy and memorable; I saw the movie once and was singing bits from it for days. The acting is surprisingly good; they lucked into the young Susan Sarandon and Barry Bostwick. Composer/writer Richard O'Brien is memorable as Riff Raff, and I've always liked Patricia Quinn as Magenta, too; her expressions in particular are very droll. And of course, Tim Curry's vibrant, scene-stealing performance as Frank-N-Furter is the heart of the movie.

Do I go to midnight showings? No. I went once. For me, once was enough; it's not my thing. But I have danced to the Time Warp at sci-fi conventions. I have no excuse, other than being on a dance floor with a huge group of science fiction fans, many of whom are in costume, is strangely liberating.

Any listing of favorite moments, lyrics, or quotes would be incomplete. So I'm going to just give my favorites.

Favorite songs:

-- "Science Fiction Double Feature": What a terrific and memorable song. They got caught in a celluloid jam. Anne Francis stars in Forbidden Planet. I had a friend once who attempted to review every movie they mention in this song.

-- "Dammit, Janet": There's three ways that love can go. That's good, bad or mediocre.

-- "There's a light (over at the Frankenstein place)": Really a very sweet song about hope, and the moment when I knew I was going to love this movie.

-- "The Time Warp": It's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane. The criminologist diagramming the steps and dancing on his desk always makes me laugh out loud.

-- "Sweet Transvestite": I'll get you a satanic mechanic. I'm just a sweet transvestite... from Transsexual... Transylvania. Come up to the lab and see what's on the slab. I see you shiver with antici...pation.

-- "Saturday Night": Hot patootie, bless my soul. I really love that rock n' roll.

-- "Toucha toucha toucha touch me": Although I liked Columbia, the Mickey Mouse ears, Magenta and the hair dryer more than the song.

-- "Eddie's Teddy". When Eddie said he didn't like his teddy, I knew he was a no good kid.

-- "Don't Dream It, Be It". Gotta love a swimming pool coming out of freaking nowhere.

Favorite moments, bits and pieces:

-- There are tons of small visual jokes and interesting bits throughout the movie. Nixon's resignation speech on the car radio; the Zen room; the Charles Atlas stained glass window; the life preserver from the Titanic.

-- The scenes where Frank seduced Janet and then seduced Brad featured the exact same dialogue.

-- The negative "conventional" wedding was echoed by the raucous "unconventional" wedding.

-- I particularly liked Frank wearing a pink triangle, which I've always assumed was an acknowledgment of Nazi persecution of gays.

-- The long mix of songs in the floor show never did much for me, but I loved Barry Bostwick wearing what must have been the world's largest high heels. The heels and fishnet stockings creeping out from under Dr. Scott's blanket have always made me laugh, too.

Quotes:

Criminologist: "It's true there were dark storm clouds, heavy, black, and pendulous, towards which they were traveling." I don't know why this line always makes me laugh, but it does.

Brad: "Didn't we pass a castle back down the road a few miles?"
This line always makes me laugh, too.

Riff Raff: "You're wet."
Janet: (totally soaked, standing in the rain) "Yes. It's raining."
Susan Sarandon's expression is what makes this one funny.

Brad: "Just a moment, Janet. We don't want to interfere with their celebration."
Janet: "This isn't the Junior Chamber of Commerce, Brad."

Frank: "How nice. And what charming underclothes you both have."

Janet: "I don't like men with too many muscles."
Frank: "I didn't make him for you!"

Frank: "Do you think I made a mistake splitting his brain between the two of them?"

Janet: "If only we were amongst friends, or sane persons!"

Frank: "A mental mind fuck can be nice."

"Janet!"
"Dr. Scott!"
"Janet!"
"Brad!"
"Rocky!"

I could rate this movie one star, two, three, or four, and easily justify each rating. So please feel free to click on your rating. If you feel inspired to do so, I'd love it if you posted a comment on how you first encountered RHPS, what it means to you (even if you hate it), your favorite lyrics, quotes, scenes, and so on.

Billie

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Vampire Diaries: Plan B

“She won. Katherine won.”

Elizabeth Craft and Sarah Fain have worked on some great shows, but I never loved their episodes on Angel or Dollhouse. (I don’t remember which Shield episodes they wrote.) So I was both nervous and excited when I saw that this was their first VD episode. And then I forgot all about both nerves and excitement, as I was too busy hooting with merriment and then, at the end, gasping a “No they didn’t!” at the unanswering TV screen. And then doing it again, five minutes later.


Just like any other VD episode, there was so much going on here that I’m not sure it will all fit on the internet. Damon and Stefan at the masquerade party set-up were hilarious, slapping each other and giving perfectly over-the-top disgusted looks. They even kept slapping after Damon killed Mason. (Their interactions were the source of most of my hoots. Admit it, you hooted too.) Alaric, Damon, and Jeremy (Jeremy?!) teaming up to research werewolves was…well, it was sort of weird. Why does Jeremy want to help Damon? Just to keep his hand in? To make Elena angry? (Am I forgetting something?)

Stefan and Mason had a great interaction at the party, too, with each of them speaking in polite code. Damon and Mason, on the other hand, got a bit violent. Damon really went all the way with those pokers, didn’t he? He killed Mason for vengeance, but I think he might have been hedging his bets, too: if Mason was telling the truth about the seriousness of his relationship with “Kathy,” then Damon could do her considerable harm by hurting the man she loves.

Instead, of course, he just wound up getting Jenna hurt. The revelation that Katherine was using Jenna as a spy was disturbing. Watching Jenna stab herself was even more disturbing. During the commercial break, I started to wonder if they were pulling a Whedon and killing of a character who has finally found a nice mate. Lucky for Alaric: no, she’ll live. But how will the gang explain to her how, and why, she stabbed herself with bread knife?PCP?

Damon looked anguished when he confronted Elena to apologize for Katherine’s retribution for him killing Mason (oh my, that sentence is complex). Yes, he did always seem to like Jenna, and they had that brief flirtation. But Damon is also upset that his actions caused Katherine to up her game, which caused Stefan and Elena to break up. For real. I wasn’t too taken with the break-up scene the first time around, perhaps because I was still reeling from the Jenna-stabbing. But when I watched the episode a second time, it really did me in. Stefan, poor Stefan, with the tears and the furrowed brow.

In other news: Caroline’s conversations with her mother were just as touching, in a different way. Part of it was just the pure Carolineness of some of her lines, like when she talked about Stefan being trapped in a well but then moved on to her friendship with Bonnie, or when she described being turned into a vampire as life handing her lemons, out of which she can make undead lemonade. Despite their connection, Caroline chose to compel her mother not to protect herself, but to reinstate her mother’s trust in the Salvatores, especially Damon.

This season started off dark, with the killing and the scary. But this episode felt lighthearted at first, as it switched from Elena/Stefan to Katherine/Mason. Even though we got two compulsions towards the end (Caroline/Liz, Katherine/Matt), the parallel structure got completely lost—and it should be. Our heroes can’t be as scary as Katherine. They can’t match her, or outwit her. They can only hope to defend themselves, catch a lucky break, or kill her.

And that’s what we’re left with: Damon in even more anguish. Jenna with a knife in her belly. Caroline and her mother back to snafu. Matt, compelled by Katherine to work himself to death. And Stefan and Elena, actually broken up.


Thank You, Writers (a new category that I may or may not continue as needed):

• When Bonnie got a flash of “Elena” kissing Mason, she told Stefan. A lesser show could have gotten a two- or three-episode arc out of that misunderstanding, with Stefan worried that Elena would cheat, Elena finding out why and being angry at Bonnie, and everyone finally making up in time for November sweeps. But VD took about 30 second to resolve this crisis, which speaks to the writers’ understanding of Stefan and Elena’s relationship, as well as the constant push to up the stakes. Stefan's trust, of course, also made their break-up more heart-wrenching.

• If you liked tonight’s episode as much as I did, you might be excited to learn that the writers have just been offered a deal with the CW for a new TV show based on L.J. Smith’s other series of books, about a teenaged witch. More info here, where it shares space with some weird Michelle Trachtenberg news.

Bites:

• Damon: “Your search for life’s purpose is as obvious as it is tragic.” And, the writers’ search for Jeremy’s purpose is just as obvious, although not as tragic.

• Damon: “Mason Lockwood? Werewolf thing aside, the guy’s a surfer.”

• Tyler: “She’s an insecure, neurotic, bitchy little twit. But, hey, the girl’s got heart.”

• Damon: “You, witch, are going to get over yourself and help us.”
Stefan: “Yeah, he meant that as question, with a please on the end.”

• Caroline: “On a healthy diet, I can control it. I’m getting better at it. I’m better that Stefan. He’s a bit of a problem drinker. A bloodoholic.”

• I suspect there are more quotes, but I got so caught up in watching (even the second time) that I didn’t get a chance to write them down. The delivery was, as always, perfect.

And Pieces:

• “Plan B” will always make me think of the morning-after pill.

• Jenna’s dress was great. Too bad she ruined it.

• Caroline’s sweater, on the other hand, would have benefited from a good hari kari.

• Have we seen the Salvatore library before? And how cool was it that Damon laid down a sheet to protect the rug?

• Alaric fed Jenna a bit of carrot. Alaric, you can feed me bits of carrot any day.

• Okay, so I haven’t said anything about the well. There’s really no need: the well, while exciting and full of snakes and vervain, was just bizarre mid-episode filler. It reminded me of Lassie (oh, no, Stefan’s down the bloody well!), Buffy (because that last parentheses is a paraphrase of a Spike line), and Indiana Jones. I am deducting one-tenth of a point, though.


3.9 out of four slap-happy vampires.
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Chuck: Chuck versus the Couch Lock

“Big, gun-loving, commie-hating, forgiveness.”

I can’t say enough great things about Adam Baldwin. He manages to load more emotion into a grunt or a hairy eyeball than any other actor I can think of, but this episode gave us another glimpse of another side of his actorly repertoire: physical comedy. Watching him lurch around like Frankenstein’s monster, switching from near-catatonia to dangling Morgan like a…dangly thing, just doesn’t stop being funny. And his history of being betrayed, and the way those betrayals have made him into the curmudgeon he is today, is nothing but touching.

Back in 1999 Iran, Casey’s team betrayed him, and the mission, and the country—but by the end of this episode, Casey has found a new team that he knows won’t betray him. Watching him gradually trust even someone like Morgan, and start to connect with people who might actually show up at his funeral, was a really nice miniature character arc. Using Morgan’s tiny antics to highlight Casey’s foibles was just icing on the cake.

As Casey learned (or re-learned) to trust his friends, Chuck nearly went dark. Last season, the show hammered home the threat of Chuck losing his humanity, so I was really impressed by the subtlety of Chuck’s emotional arc in this episode. General Beckman told Chuck: “You’ve put duty above emotion. Using Colonel Casey as bait? Usually it takes an agent years to put his teammates in harms way.” Chuck made that leap without even realizing it—perhaps it was a momentary glimpse of his pragmatism, but I think it was also evidence that he trusts the team so much, he assumed no harm would come to anyone. After all, with friends all things are possible.

By the end of the episode, Chuck realized (again) the risks of his job, not just to himself but to his extended family. For that reason, he decided to ignore Ellie’s desire to see their mom, and put everyone’s safety above her maternal urges. I definitely see where Chuck is coming from, but I felt bad for Ellie, too: Chuck always seems to do exactly what she doesn’t want him to do. Luckily, Mama B’s phone call has brought Chuck back to the quest. I wonder if she’s evil, or undercover, or something else. I wonder if her arc parallels Chuck’s: is she working for Volkoff to protect her family?

The BuyMore plot…well, there wasn’t really a BuyMore-specific plot, and I think that’s for the best. Jeff and Lester’s dumpster-sleeping habits are funny, but they didn’t drag down the pacing. And it was a nice bit of character-continuity. Jeff’s willingness to rescue Casey, and not over-think the fact that he was dressed in military garb in a downtown dumpster, unconscious (and that he called work instead of someone else), fit perfectly in with his world view.

One last great thing: Chuck and Sarah getting along without talking about their relationship.


Bytes:

• Casey on President Clinton: “Not that I like him or his mouthy wife.”

• Jeff: “If you have the mana to battle the others plainswalkers.” Indeed.

• Morgan’s entire eulogy, which he delivered fabulously.

• Chuck: “They put a tracker on a what? No, god no, don’t shoot it!”
Cat: “Meow!”

• Jeff: “Don’t worry Casey. I know that dumpster.”

• Awesome: “Ah, couch-lock. He over-medicated…Just get his heart rate up.” This is terrible, terrible medical advice.

• Morgan: “Ow! It’s like slapping a car!”

• There were so many hilarious lines, but they’re less funny written down.


And Pieces:

• Awesome and Ellie are having a girl.

• Casey trying to wake up was very Uma Thurman in Kill Bill.

• The gold-heist plot was very Three Kings. That’s a great movie, by the way, that you should rent immediately.

• Alex seems to have inherited her father’s sass. “Have fun playing Halo for the rest of your life.” Zing!

• I’m very impressed that Chuck has managed to get so many guest stars this season. I’m not quite sure I understand why they made that a priority, though.

Four out of four downtown dumpsters.
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Smallville: Homecoming

Lois: "You put the Smallville in Smallville, Smallville."

This was the best Smallville episode in years. Or maybe I liked it so much because they finally gave me what I wanted.

They used the basic structure of A Christmas Carol, and did it without annoying me. Brainiac 5 was the ghost of superhero future, showing Clark how holding on to the past was having a negative effect on his present and future. How lovely that the biggest part of his future in 2017 was his professional and romantic partnership with Lois, who had no sharp edges at all for a change. This may be our only chance to see this particular Lois and Clark as they were destined to be. It was one of the most satisfying sequences I've ever seen on this show.

And they recreated the helicopter scene from the Superman movie! Lois got to knock out the pilot instead of getting knocked out, as she has repeatedly been knocked out since she joined the series (so that she would conveniently never see Clark exhibiting his powers). If there was anything that disappointed me, it was that the episode didn't end with Clark telling Lois what she already knows. But he did finally tell her he loved her, and the two of them in a clinch floating in the air was special, so I'm fine with it. (Funny how I can handle huge romantic scenes in the barn when it's Lois instead of Lana.)

I also liked that Clark finally understood that his friendship was important to Oliver. For an extremely good-looking alien with astounding superpowers, Clark doesn't have a very high opinion of himself.

The high school full circle wrap-up was satisfying, too. No more bumbling nerd. Not only was Clark homecoming king, but he got some major validation from Greg, his very first meteor freak nemesis from the second episode of the series, "Metamorphosis". Apparently, Clark saved Greg from a life of villainous madness.

I did miss Chloe. She belonged in this episode, and all we got was an empty Wall of Weird and a text message. But there were a few pertinent flashbacks, and I thought that made up for the lack of guest stars. (The most moving was Clark watching Jonathan and Lionel.) And if there had been tons of guest stars from the past, the focus wouldn't have been on Clark's relationship with Lois. And I wouldn't have been nearly as happy with it.

Bits and pieces:

-- This was the 200th episode of Smallville. What show runs that long? Seriously?

-- I'm always happy to see James Marsters in anything. He was a much subdued Brainiac this time, which is understandable.

-- Everyone at the reunion treated Lois like she was an idiot. That felt manufactured, because what straight male would treat Erica Durance like that?

-- The current reporters of the Torch reminded me of Willow and Xander. And the floating kiss reminded me of Willow and Tara. Yes, everything reminds me of Buffy.

-- The young man in the office who talked to Clark... would that be the Jimmy Olsen to be who isn't dead?

-- I liked what Oliver said about bloggers and immigrants, but it made it sound as if superheroes were a persecuted minority group. :)

-- The continuing joke about the glasses was fun. As if a pair of glasses would actually keep people from recognizing him, as it did here.

Quotes:

Lois: "Sounds like somebody took a bite out of Chloe's conspiracy cookie."

Punch bowl Marcie: "Funny, I always thought that he and Chloe were meant for each other. They had that whole best friend with hope of more thing?"
That felt like an acknowledgment to the Clark/Chloe fans, didn't it?

Future Lois: "So what is it? Wait a minute. Oh, no. Kryptonite again. Blue? Red? Not green. Please tell me it's not the black, because that was a disaster."

I actually watched this episode twice. I haven't watched a Smallville episode twice for a long time. Four out of four Legion rings,

Billie

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Stargate Universe: Pathogen

Another week, another episode that was not at all what I expected. I should really stop watching the previews, because this week they had me believing we’d get a story focused on what’s up with Chloe. Instead, her issues were just a small part of what initially felt like a very overstuffed, slice-of-life tale. Fortunately, what at first seemed like a scattered mess, gave way to a series of smaller stories exploring the theme of coping with loss or finding the strength to endure when something you love or need is slipping away.

As you all know, I’m not a big fan of the communication stones, and stories that show our characters visiting their loved ones are usually the kiss of death for me. But ‘Pathogen’ ended up surprising me, by confronting the emotional difficulties for those left behind and for those counting on “the homefront” to keep them sane. The strain of Camille’s and Eli’s absence was very clearly starting to break Sharon and Mrs. Wallace. Eli and Camille do get to visit, after a fashion, but it isn’t the same as being able to see, hear, and touch your loved ones, and in many ways it makes their absence even more keenly felt. I loved the moment when Sharon confessed that even though she knew Camille’s consciousness was inside, she missed her face and her voice. Similarly, I was rather affected by Eli’s mom saying he was all that she had and wondering if she’d ever see him again. And damn if I didn’t get choked up when they brought her to the ship so that she could see Eli’s face and hug him.

Camille really impressed me by pulling off Mrs. Wallace’s visit. “You know what? I’m not asking you, I’m telling you. You make this happen.” Especially, since I was a bit perturbed with her for begging Sharon to hang in there because it was the only thing keeping her going. It struck me as a horribly selfish thing to do, but, at the same time, I completely understand. She does need the idea of her life with Sharon and the hope of returning to keep on keeping on, just like Eli needs to know that his mom is OK and not giving up on life. This situation isn’t easy for anyone involved, and all they can do is hang on to each other to get through. I was very happy to see Sharon show up in Mrs. Wallace’s hospital room. Here’s hoping they can help support each other as the ones left behind.

Meanwhile, back on Destiny, Scott and Chloe are dealing with similar issues, as she’s slowly slipping away because of whatever the aliens did to her. What Scott feels for Chloe, and the relationship he’s developed with her, is stronger than anything he’s experienced before, and no doubt, what he’s found with her is part of what’s keeping him going. I’m not usually a big fan of Scott’s, especially when it comes to the Scott-Chloe dynamic, but I found myself getting caught up in his angst this week as he watched Chloe steadily becoming more distant. Brian J. Smith underplayed the emotion well, but he absolutely sold me on Scott’s pain and fear at feeling the woman he loves slipping away from him and his desperation to get her back.

On the flip side of things, we got Dr. Rush coping with the ability to control Destiny slipping from his grasp. His solution? Lies, subterfuge, manipulation, and more lies to turn Chloe’s crisis to his advantage. Man. I’ve been at pains to defend Rush’s actions of late, and this just goes a step too far. Before this, I could always reason that while his actions certainly protected or furthered his own interests, they usually coincided with the best interests of everyone on board the Destiny. But now his secrecy has led to Riley’s death and the loss of Telford, and he’s using Chloe’s condition to cover up his own tinkering and essentially blackmailing her into helping him. Permanent lockdown or fake cure? Not much of a choice really. I actually feel very bad for Chloe. The poor girl is slipping into oblivion, and instead of helping her, Rush is using her for his own ends. At first, I thought he was putting her in the chair to fuse her with the ship, believing she now had the brain power to control it. But, it turned out he just wanted the others to believe she was cured, so he could continue to use her in his own quest to control the ship. Damn. That’s almost worse. He’s certainly no better “leader material” than Young at this point.

So what do we think is going on with Chloe? Is she turning into an alien? Or just working as an unwitting reconnaissance drone? Do they hope to recapture her somewhere down the line and download all the information she’s gathered? Or do they hope she’ll take control of the ship and bring it to them? And how disturbing is it that, when lucid, she doesn’t seem overly distressed by her condition?

Other Thoughts

In other developments, the Lucian Alliance prisoners are finally free to mingle with the crew. A precious freedom they are desperate to cling to. I’m still puzzling over Varro’s angle. It seems that everyone but Simeon has been feeding the SGC real intel. Does that mean Varro just wants to learn to live together because he doesn’t want to end up locked down or stranded on a planet? Is he hoping to gain the upper hand somewhere down the line, or just protecting some measure of freedom for his people? Simeon clearly thought they were playing a game with some ulterior motive in mind, but Varro quickly disabused him of that notion. So is he being straight? I sort of hope so, because T.J. is clearly finding herself drawn to him, and I don’t want her to get hurt again.

Simeon is a very odd duck. He seems very sneaky and sinister much of the time, but he seemed very submissive and even a little desperate in his scene with Young. I may be letting Robert Knepper's previous roles influence my opinion, but Simeon doesn’t seem entirely stable. A real loose cannon. I can’t wait to see where they are going with his character.

Once again, we saw that Franklin and Gloria are serving two very different functions in their interactions with Rush, and I’m still wondering if they are entirely different manifestations. Or if Destiny is just using different images to appeal to different sensibilities in Rush, depending on what it is trying to communicate.

Young still appears to be drinking. Or was that coffee he was downing during his discussion with Greer about releasing the Alliance personnel? I tend to think it was booze, or else why bother showing it?

Brody, Park, and Young are finally on to Rush. He’s still deflecting, but it is just a matter of time before he’s completely exposed. Can’t wait to see how that unfolds.

Eli: “As far as she’s concerned, the military took her son away, won’t even tell her where he is, won’t let him talk to her … I would give up, too.”
Camille: “Eli, no one is giving up.”

Camille: “It’s just, emotionally, this is all starting to take its toll.”

Loved the closing shot of Chloe’s blank eye. Very unsettling.

Final Analysis: Not as strong as the first three episodes, but they managed to pull most of the disparate stories together thematically. Plus, we got some plot progression on a few fronts and new developments on others.

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