Smallville: Persuasion

Emil: "Dude, hasn't anyone ever told you not to inhale?"

I've always enjoyed the "cast members changed drastically by something that makes them do wildly unexpected things" plot; it can be a lot of fun and was done a lot in the first few seasons. This one seemed a bit off, though. Maybe it was because the effects of the Kryptonite "fairy dust" weren't defined well enough for me. Maybe I was expecting something more in the Valentine's Day line. Ah, well.

This episode was worth watching just to see Lois in fifties clothes doing Donna Reed on crack, and flouncing around in Martha's old wedding dress. And for some reason, I really loved Emil chilling out with a beer. (Maybe it was because of all the years I saw Alessandro Juliani doing heavy drama on Battlestar Galactica.) And yes, Clark nearly taking Tess out with his heat vision was definitely creepy. What a horrible way to go.

Did the weird-eyed Kandorian woman really kill Jor-El? Did Zod just get her to take the fall for him? At least Clark has finally realized that he can't be friends with Zod and has brought down the solar towers. (And did anyone else get a flashback to the World Trade Center for a moment there?)

All of my Smallville reviews are archived here.
(Season 9, episode 13)

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Lost: Lighthouse

Jack: "I came back here because I was broken. And I was stupid enough to think this place could fix me."

Just once, I'd like to start one of these reviews with "I know exactly what this meant." I don't know what this episode meant. And did they really just give us a magical lighthouse?

LAX Timeline

Like our other sideways Lostaways, Jack's life is better. Not fantastically better -- he's still divorced and he still has daddy issues -- but he's not drinking, and he has a precocious, gifted son that he loves deeply. Being a father has made Jack a better man; he's much different than the angry angst-filled man we saw in "White Rabbit." Maybe he found it easier to forgive Christian for his failures as a father after he became a father himself.

(Who is David Shephard's mother? Since it's Lost and they pointedly didn't show her to us, I bet it's someone we know.)

There was a lot to ponder (and a lot to confuse me), but what stood out was the weird bit about Jack's appendix scar. His mother said he had it out when he was seven or eight, but Jack couldn't remember having it done -- implying that the emergency appendectomy Juliet performed on Jack back on the Island showed up in the LAX timeline and was explained away, but not perfectly. Jack also couldn't remember how long David had been playing the piano. And why didn't the phone message Jack just recorded show up when Jack played David's messages?

Island stuff

After a brief flirtation with faith, punctured by Jughead's failure (so he thinks) to reset the timeline, Island Jack reverted to his angry man of science persona. He broke the looking glass because... well, why? Because he had been observed and manipulated since childhood? Because Jacob didn't show himself? That huge wheel with all of the crossed out names was freaky. So was Jack's reflection in both the pool in the Temple courtyard at the beginning of the episode, and in the Lighthouse mirrors in the end. (This week's Most Obvious Symbolism, obviously. And symbolically.)

Is Hurley Jacob's prime candidate? It's just interesting that Jacob keeps appearing to Hurley and only to Hurley. Maybe it's because Hurley does what Jacob wants him to do. I liked Hurley writing Jacob's instructions on his arm (even though they were completely illegible to us). In fact, the Hurley scenes were the highlight of this episode. Which is a shame, considering it was centered around Jack.

Jacob got Hurley and Jack away from the Temple because someone bad was coming. And he also told Hurley that someone was coming to the Island. Who's coming? Someone we know? And why can Hurley be given instructions, but not Jack? Because Jack has to come to every conclusion on his own, I suppose.

Infected Claire not only has epically bad hair; she's a killer. Good to know. The Claire/Jin segment felt like Rousseau capturing Sayid in season one, didn't it? When she brought out that axe, I started worrying about Jin's leg. But no. She's the Man in Black's buddy and they're trying to recruit Jin. And Claire was tortured in the Temple, just like Sayid. She must have failed that test.

We're getting episodes that parallel those in season one: "LA X" for the pilot, "What Kate Does"/"Tabula Rasa", and "The Substitute"/"Walkabout." This episode paralleled "White Rabbit." Will it be Sun's turn next week? I don't usually mention previews, but this one was tantalizing -- because they mostly told us they couldn't show us anything without giving something away. Gee, I think I'll tune in for one more week.

What have we learned?

-- The numbers are degrees, which is why they don't go above 360. And Jacob chose "candidates" using mirrors, but not smoke. As far as we know.

What I missed last week:

-- The woman at the employment agency who asked Locke what sort of animal he saw himself as was also the psychic Hurley's father paid to give Hurley a fake reading in "Tricia Tanaka is Dead."

-- Locke was buried next to Boone. I didn't know that the Lostaways' burial ground was called Boone Hill, but it's certainly appropriate.

-- Frank said, "This is the weirdest damn funeral I've ever been to." I listened carefully to the enhanced repeat, and he definitely says the word "funeral," not "show." For what it's worth.

Character bits:

-- We only got a glimpse, but I don't think LAX timeline Jack has tattoos.

-- Jack played the piano in two previous episodes, so nice continuity, making his son a pianist.

-- What the hell was in that cradle Claire had in her "shelter"?

-- Jin told Claire that Kate had taken Aaron off the Island, but later, he took it back to protect Kate. I don't think Claire believed him the second time. Kate may be in serious Claire trouble.

-- What is the significance of Hurley finding Shannon's inhaler? It must mean something.

-- Dogen's son was also auditioning at the Williams Conservatory. He and Jack exchanged a few words. Very like Jack and Desmond in the stadium.

-- We still don't know where Christian's body is. Must be important. And I don't think it's in Berlin.

Bits and pieces:

-- Island Tic Tac Toe. :)

-- Loved the key under the white rabbit doorstop. That's happened before. When? What episode?

-- It's Friday the 24th. So it's only been two days since "LA X"?

-- Jack's mother poured herself a drink. It was MacCutcheon scotch.

-- Christian and Margo Shephard live at 233 Bastian Drive, Beverly Hills, 90211. Their lawyers are Horowitz and Woodruff, Wilshire Blvd.

-- Claire's "shelter" looked like a trash heap. No roof or sides, either, so how much protection could it be against the rains? In fact, it looked more like a piece of bad abstract sculpture than a shelter.

-- Claire's beautiful hair was unbelievably horrible. Much, much worse than Kate's messy Island do. It was like she hadn't washed or brushed it in the entire three years.

Quotes:

Jack: (to David) "You always wanted to hear about Kitty and Snowdrop."
In Through the Looking Glass, Kitty is the black kitten and Snowdrop the white kitten. That may have been the most obscure reference yet to the white and black good and evil theme.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Through_the_Looking-Glass

Claire: "Better get that cleaned up. If there's one thing that'll kill you around here, it's infection."

Hurley: "I think you'd make a great dad."
Jack: "I'd make a terrible dad."

Hurley: "What if these skeletons are us?"
I'm still thinking Rose and Bernard, since we don't know if they came back with the others.

Hurley: "This is cool, dude. Very old school."
Jack: "What?"
Hurley: "You know. You and me, trekking through the jungle, on our way to do something that we don't quite understand? Good times."

The standard three out of four polar bears,

Billie

All of my Lost reviews are archived here.
(Season 6, episode 5)

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Life on Mars

Gene: "I think you've forgotten who you're talking to."
Sam: "An overweight, over the hill, nicotine-stained, borderline alcoholic homophobe with a superiority complex and an unhealthy obsession with male bonding."
Gene: "You make that sound like a bad thing."

This series is a gem. When I first rented it, I was expecting a procedural cop show with a science fiction twist. And it is. But it's so much more than that.

John Simm gives a brilliant, multi-layered performance as Sam Tyler, an unhappy detective chief inspector in 2006, who is hit by a car and wakes up in 1973. He's still Sam Tyler and still working at the same police station -- but things are much, much different.

What has happened to Sam? Is he insane, in a coma, or is he truly stuck in the past? Life on Mars is especially intriguing because of the way Sam's old life in the future seems to be connected to his current life in the past. Did God toss him back to 1973 in a sort of homage to Quantum Leap so that Sam could fix what was wrong in 2006, really really early?

Sam Tyler is a professional, by-the-book, science-and-procedure sort of cop. His new boss Gene Hunt (Philip Glenister) is a sloppy seat-of-your-pants go-with-your-gut cop who flirts with corruption to get the job done. Like Simm, Philip Glenister gives a brilliant, multi-layered performance, with one addition: he is exceptionally funny. I think I fell in love with Gene Hunt in the pilot episode when he told three kids in the street that if they didn't watch his car and make certain nothing happened to it while he was gone, he would go to their house and stamp on all of their toys. Sam's continuing conflict with Gene as the two of them try to work together is the heart of the series.

Utterly confused about what has happened to him, Sam confides in a police constable named Annie (Liz White), who, unsurprisingly in the 1970s, is treated as a brainless twit because she's a woman. Sam's relationship with Annie is satisfying because he naturally treats her like an equal, and she begins to respond like one.

So we have mystery, drama, comedy, and intriguing fantasy elements, as well as some subtle romance. We have really cool music from the 1970s (the title of the series is a line from a David Bowie song). And we have a truly poignant story. As I watched the series, I began to care deeply about Sam and what was happening to him. I couldn't wait for the series finale, and dreaded it at the same time.

I'm sure all you British fans who read reviews on my site have already seen Life on Mars and are going, well, duh, of course it's brilliant, Billie, where have you been? So I guess I'm speaking mostly to my American readers who never caught this series on BBC America. If you like intelligent, well-written, well-acted fantasy with heart, I highly recommend this show. It's not a huge commitment, either, since the entire run consists of only sixteen episodes.

Actually, that's the only thing wrong with Life on Mars. It was over way too soon for me.

There's a spinoff series called Ashes to Ashes which is not yet available on Netflix. I've nearly decided I don't want to try it; I sort of want to leave my love for Life on Mars as it is, unsullied by any other stories in the same 'verse. There's also an American version of Life on Mars that lasted only one season, too. I have no desire to try it at all. Should I try either, or both? I'd be interested in hearing your opinions, so please -- comments welcome. (As always. I love your comments. Even when you tell me I'm being pissy.)

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Smallville: Warrior

Lois: "What was that whooshing sound?"

Sorry about the late review. But hey, here it is, and right under the wire.

Speaking of underwires... Clark's dislike of costumes is a big theme this season, isn't it? I loved the costumes at the comic book con, especially Lois dressed as a storm trooper doing a line from Star Wars, and later on... was that a Wonder Woman costume Lois was wearing? It was darker and classier than the familiar red, white and blue.

So this episode was fairly light, if you leave out little Alec's Faustian bargain and brief descent into evil. And I usually like episodes about Lois. It has only recently occurred to me that Erica Durance is my favorite Lois Lane, ever. (I like Tom Welling, but he's edged out by Christopher Reeve and Brandon Routh.) I liked Zatanna this time, too. She's growing on me.

Warrior Angel has been mentioned so many times as Lex's favorite comic that I shouldn't have been surprised that he goes evil. Why did I think Devilicus was a separate character? This wasn't a hint that Clark is going to catch another bout of evil, was it?

The rest of the episode seemed to be a message that Clark needs to relax and give in to his desire to pursue Lois. And that Chloe has gotten too scary; she needs to relax and have some fun as well. That target practice scene was intriguing. Was Oliver hitting on Chloe? He's been with every other woman in the cast, after all. Which makes it sound like I don't like Oliver. I do like Oliver. And an Oliver/Chloe relationship would be interesting, to say the least.

This episode was directed by Allison Mack. Good job, Allison.

All of my Smallville reviews are archived here.
Photo credit: Kryptonsite.
(Season 9, episode 12... is this 12? Was the last one supposed to be 11 and 12, making this one 13?)

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Lost: The Substitute

Boy: "You know the rules. You can't kill him."
Man in Black: "Don't tell me what I can't do. Don't tell me what I can't do!"

Semi-big reveal, but with caveats. According to the Man in Black, the numbers represent people who are candidates for the job of Island Protector: 4 Locke, 8 Reyes, 15 Ford, 16 Jarrah, 23 Shephard, 42 Kwon. Which Kwon? Maybe it's both of them, since 42 is the big number and the answer to everything.

Was the Man in Black telling Sawyer the truth, though? I bet he's leaving out something pretty crucial. How can we even be sure that was Jacob's cave? If they were Jacob's numbers, why would they be such bad luck for Hurley? And hey, Locke's number was first. Was that why the Man in Black took him? Because his number was up? :) And where was Kate?

I'm not quite sure what Sawyer is doing, but he's a con artist and he's not stupid. Sawyer heard what Richard said, and covered for him. I have hope that Sawyer is currently conning the Man in Black into thinking he's a good "recruit". Reckless, yes, but Sawyer may be the perfect guy to get the goods out of the Man in Black and get back to the Temple alive. Unless he actually fell for it. He didn't, did he?

What was going on with Richard? He didn't know what a "candidate" was, or why the Man in Black looked like Locke. If Richard will have nothing to do with the Man in Black, then Richard is probably on the side of the angels. I think. It's hard to tell. But I do like Richard. Maybe it's the eyelashes.

Who was the boy? He certainly seemed to look and talk like a young Jacob. Since the Man in Black was startled that Sawyer could see the boy, I assume it was like Walt's psychic little appearances. Could the boy have been young Sawyer, maybe? No, he felt like Jacob. I think.

I don't know why, but I just giggled through that entire trip down the rope ladder. Was anyone else thinking of the Cliffs of Insanity?

Meanwhile, back at the Foot

Ilana seems to know a lot more than just about anyone. She knew the Man in Black was recruiting, and said he was stuck in Locke's body. That's interesting. I was wondering why he wasn't running around appearing as pretty much anyone dead, the way he used to. How much of Locke is still in there? ("Don't tell me what I can't do!")

Ben lied to Ilana about killing Jacob, but then he confessed to Locke's murder as they were burying him at the cemetery by the sea. Ah, Ben. Such a contradiction. So much fun.

LAX timeline

I have to say that I'm really enjoying the alternative timeline stuff, and even hoping that this is how our characters end up. Yes, it's not idyllic or perfect, but so far, they seem a lot more content with their lives.

It was nice to see Locke well-adjusted and reasonably happy. He had a good relationship with Helen, probably because he was telling her the truth for a change. And that brief reference to his father coming to the wedding was fascinating; there was a photo of Locke and Cooper on the wall of Locke's cubicle at the box company, too. Was Cooper never a vicious con man in this timeline? Did Locke have a happy childhood? If Cooper never threw Locke out of an eight-story window, how did he end up in the wheelchair? And what happened to Sawyer?

I thought Locke as a substitute teacher worked, since he enjoyed teaching Walt and Boone. (Although I wondered why he was working at a box company if he had a degree in education.) Benjamin Linus as a history teacher complaining about the empty coffee pot was a hoot.

This was a compact episode, concentrating on only a few characters. No Temple, no Jin and Claire -- just confusing Lostie goodness. They're never going to tell us the truth about the Island, are they? They're just going to string us along to the end and drop us, aren't they?

What have we learned?

-- The Man in Black was just a man once. When did he become Smokey the Monster? And why?

-- If the Man in Black isn't lying, six of the Losties are the numbers. Not the Oceanic Six, though. That would have been too pat, huh?

-- The people Jacob touched are candidates to become the protector of the Island. The Man in Black said the Island didn't need protecting. I don't believe him.

Character bits:

-- The Man in Black said he lost someone he loved.

-- Locke refused to park in the handicapped spot. That's like him.

-- Sawyer drunk was a lot of fun. He knows how to wallow in style. What song was Sawyer playing while he was wallowing?

-- Hurley's luck manifested itself again; Locke's wheelchair platform jammed before it hit Hurley's SUV.

-- Rose was working for Hurley. And she was dying of cancer. That's too bad.

-- I loved how they finally resolved the Randy Nations thing: Locke and Hurley really did have the same boss. I wonder if Hurley gave Randy the job at the box company?

-- Sawyer's favorite author is John Steinbeck. Of Mice and Men has been mentioned before.

-- Jack's card gave the address of St. Sebastian Hospital as 8444 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles, 90025. That's close to Larry Flynt's office building, as in Hustler. A Google search brought up William Morris, so maybe it's Matthew Fox's agent.

Bits and pieces:

-- Henry Ian Cusick's name in the credits was back in its usual position, before Emilie de Ravin. What happened last week? Did someone just make a boo boo?

-- Busy episode for Terry O'Quinn: he played LAX timeline Locke, the Man in Black, and the original Locke's dead body on the beach. I bet he's having a ball this season playing the big bad guy.

-- In the cliff cave, there were two large stones, white and black, on a scale. The Man in Black threw the white one away and said it was an inside joke.

-- Helen was wearing a shirt that had the words "Peace & Karma" on it. :)

-- Locke and Helen talked about their wedding in October. I wonder if the date on the ultrasound was just a production error?

-- It seems unlikely that a box company would pay an employee to attend a conference in Australia. I'm just saying.

-- Locke's suitcase o' knives arrived, just as Locke began to accept his life and his condition. I wonder what happened with Christian's body?

-- I really wish Sawyer had shot the Man in Black. I wonder what would happen?

-- Names on the cave wall included Rousseau and Littleton. Interesting that Claire was crossed out, huh? http://lostpedia.wikia.com/wiki/Cliffside_cave

Quotes:

Helen: "You are a very sweet man."
Locke: "I know."
Really?

Ilana: "Tell me what happened to them."
Ben: "All right. There's a fairly reasonable chance that you won't believe me."

Sawyer: "Here's to being dead."

Sawyer: "I don't give a damn if you're dead, or time traveling, or the Ghost of Christmas Past. All I care about is this whiskey. Bottoms up, and get the hell out of my house."

Ben: "He was a much better man than I will ever be, and I'm very sorry I murdered him."
Frank: "This is the weirdest damn funeral I've ever been to."

Ben: "If you have the last cup of coffee, you remove the filter and throw it away!"

I really enjoyed this episode. Maybe it was the Cliffs of Insanity. Three out of four polar bears,

Billie

All of my Lost reviews are archived here.
(Season 6, episode 4)
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NewsFlash: Supernatural gets a sixth season

According to the Futon Critic, The CW has announced early pickup for five shows -- one of which is Supernatural. Woo hoo! And I quote:

"The network also renewed fan favorite SUPERNATURAL, which will enter its sixth season next year. SUPERNATURAL has one of the most loyal audiences of any show on television and does heroic work in a perennially tough time period. It has improved over last season among women and adults 18-34 (29% and 8%, respectively) this season, a remarkable accomplishment for a fifth-year show."

I know that there are fans that want Supernatural to go out with a bang at the end of this season, and I completely understand the sentiment. But it is what it is. My favorite show just got a sixth season. To paraphrase Xander: "Me love Supernatural. Supernatural on TV? Me watch."

(Okay. The other four shows were The Vampire Diaries, Gossip Girl, 90210, and America's Next Top Model. I'm sort of watching The Vampire Diaries, but not the others.)
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Supernatural: My Bloody Valentine

Sam: "It's when a dog doesn't eat. That's when you know something is really wrong."
Dean: "Remarkably patronizing concern. Duly noted."

What an intense gross out hit bottom episode. Such a feel good ending, too.

Famine was, of course, a great big metaphor for what has happened to the boys. Sam is still starved for the power that demon blood gave him. And Dean is so defeated that he has a big dark nothing inside of him that can never be filled. In the final scene, Dean was praying. I think. Was he? (I guess the big question is, will God stop by and answer him?)

I did *not* love the latest nail in the fate coffin -- the revelation that John and Mary's marriage was "arranged." Before, Dean and Sam at least knew in their hearts that their parents loved each other, that John spent the best part of his life avenging Mary's death. Now, they have to deal with the knowledge that their very conceptions were the result of divine manipulation. To be honest, I could have done quite well without that little reveal.

Except -- I wonder if this episode was again telling us that free will is the answer. Sam faced the ultimate temptation -- all you can drink demon blood, coupled with irresistible hunger -- and instead, he used his power to save Dean and Castiel and defeat Famine. (Who I will grant, was an extra special uber creepy guy in a series that does creepy exceptionally well.) Sam's pain during detox was enough to make Dean admit he needed help, too. That's a step forward for both of them, isn't it? Possibly another hint that they'll be able to escape their inescapable fate?

I occasionally get turned off when Supernatural goes too horror movie, so there was too much drowning in the fry-o-later violence for me. The opening scene may have been the most disgusting thing I've ever seen on this show, and that's saying a lot. Clever, yes, but really. I want you inside me? But still, so much good stuff. Naked hairy Cupid who hugged instead of shaking hands was too funny. And I loved Dean pushing that heart in Tupperware toward Sam and saying, "Be my valentine?"

And Castiel was so marvelously deadpan funny in this one. I just want to eat him up, I love him so. Kidding.

Bits and pieces:

-- Jensen Ackles starred in a horror movie called My Bloody Valentine, so that was a fun reference. No, I haven't seen it. See above about not being into horror movies.

-- Misha Collins got lots of eating scenes; Jensen usually gets those. Misha, my sympathies.

-- Apparently, Cupid is a cherub, a lower order of angel. I wish they'd explain what reapers are. And Horsemen. Sam blowing Famine apart was pretty cool; another ring finger chop would have been repetitive.

-- So we're two Horsemen down. That leaves Pestilence and Death. The preview spoiled it, by the way; I knew it had to be a Horseman. Gotta stop watching those previews.

-- Apparently, souls can be stored in locked briefcases. Good to know.

-- I don't think they mentioned what town it was. Did they? Dean was Agent Marley (again with the Christmas reference) while Sam was Special Agent Cliff. Or Clift. I didn't get that one.

-- Loved all the red, and I'm not talking about the blood. The motel room wallpaper had abstract red arcs against a green background, which was sort of Christmassy and looked a bit like heart shapes. I particularly liked the big red "all you can eat" sign in the restaurant.

-- Dean and Sam wore nice suits for much of this episode. They looked gorgeous. But then again, they always do.

-- Supernatural is on hiatus for the next few weeks; it returns March 25.

Quotes:

Dean: "These two started eating, and they just... kept going. I mean, their stomachs were full, like Thanksgiving dinner full. Talk about co-dependent."

Sam: "Dean. It's Valentine's Day. Your favorite holiday, remember? What do you always call it? Unattached drifter Christmas?"

Jim: "Seems like whatever we do, something in life is always going to keep us apart. Work, family, sleep..."
Janice: "Now prison, maybe?"
I loved how she delivered that line. Very funny.

Dean: "You mean the little flying fat kid in diapers?"
Castiel: "They're not incontinent."

Castiel: "This is their handshake."
Dean: "I don't like it."
Castiel: "No one likes it."

Cupid: "I love love! I love it. And if that's wrong, I don't wanna be right."

Castiel: "Everyone seems to be starving for something. Sex, attention, drugs, love."
Dean: "Okay, but what about you? Since when do angels secretly hunger for White Castle?"

Dean: "When I want a drink, I drink. When I want sex, I go get it. Same goes for a sandwich or a fight."
Castiel: "So you're saying you're just well adjusted?"
Dean: "God, no. I'm just well-fed."

I'd say three out of four disembodied hearts in Tupperware,

Billie

All of my Supernatural reviews are archived here.
(Season 5, episode 14)

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Lost: What Kate Does

Hurley: "You're not a zombie, right?"
Sayid: "No, I am not a zombie."

Sounds corny, but Kate helps people -- that's what Kate does. (Well, she runs, too.) She tried to help Sawyer in the Island timeline, and Claire in the LAX timeline (just like Cassidy, who was also pregnant). And she told Claire that she was innocent. Is she? She used to admit straight out that she killed Wayne. Dwayne. Whatever. Why lie now? She didn't steal Claire's money, either.

LAX Timeline

Is the LAX timeline all about sideways karma? Maybe the Losties are experiencing a better world where they're benefiting from lessons they already learned on the Island. Like Ethan Goodspeed, formerly the psychopath known as Ethan Rom. I was completely freaked by him showing up as Claire's kind and gentle obstetrician instead of the slimy, scary guy who sticks needles into pregnant women. It looks like Claire is going to keep Aaron and raise him herself, without being kidnapped or abused or trekking endlessly through the jungle. So Kate might actually be innocent of killing what's his face.

I thought for a moment that Kate was going to deliver Claire's baby *again*. I suppose it could still happen.

Island Timeline

I don't like Dogen. He's a lying, secretive, craptastic leader. If Jack et al. were literally touched by Jacob, shouldn't they be getting more respect, as well as the truth?

The electrodes and hot poker supposedly told Dogen and Lennon something important, while I was weirded out by the way Sayid screamed and begged for mercy. Yes, pretty much anyone, even a super tough guy like Sayid, would scream under the circumstances, but Sayid has gone through terrible things before without showing great fear and begging for mercy. Is Sayid gone? Is there anything left? What would have happened during the "diagnosis" if Sayid hadn't been "infected?" Was Sayid oblivious to pain and faking it, and could they tell? That would explain why Ben gets beat up all the time but just seems to pop right back. :)

Jack fixes people. I wonder if Jack can fix Sayid and Claire? Miles was asking Sayid about his after death experiences; I keep getting the impression that Miles has something to say about Sayid's condition. Speak up, Miles.

With all of the torture and mystery and pregnant women in danger, the best scene was Sawyer on the dock crying about losing Juliet. That Josh Holloway. What a scene stealer. This week's Most Obvious Symbolism was probably the ring Sawyer went to so much trouble to retrieve from under the floor in his old house, only to toss it in the lagoon. It doesn't seem fair.

What have we learned?

-- Claire and Sayid are "infected," like Rousseau's team, because they were "claimed." And it happened because they were injured while helping Jack. Claimed? That makes them like chess pieces taken by the opposing side! Wow, that idea fits, doesn't it?

-- Claire being "infected" instead of dead sort of explains Christian and Claire in the cabin together, if Christian was the MIB and Claire was "infected" by him.

-- Dogen (whom I keep wanting to call Rogaine; maybe it's all the hair) said that everyone is brought to the Island.

-- According to new player Aldo who is probably already dead, the smoke monster makes that clicka clicka sound when it's mad. Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like it when I'm angry.

What I missed last week

-- LAX timeline Sun was called "Miss Paik." Are she and Jin not married?

Character bits:

-- Kate was using the alias "Joan Hart," which she used in a previous episode. No, I don't remember which one.

-- In this week's love triangle news, Jack was going to kiss Kate goodbye, but no. Sawyer was planning to propose to Juliet. *sigh* Kate left Jack to follow Sawyer. I assume she'll ricochet back to Jack now?

-- Jin was rescued by the infected Claire, who has gone Rousseau. How did Dogen know that Claire was Jack's sister?

-- Doc Arzt's luggage got run over. Better than getting blown up, one could argue.

-- We didn't know Ms. Bascom, who was going to adopt Claire's baby. I thought that we might. Did someone arranged for Mr. Bascom to leave his wife?

-- No Sawyer nicknames, but Aldo called Kate "Princess."

-- There's a Detective Rasmussen looking for Kate in Los Angeles. That would have been a primo place to insert Ana Lucia, but she's probably doing a movie. She's always doing a movie.

-- Rousseau may be gone, but her booby traps live on. Except those were Claire's traps, weren't they?

Bits and pieces:

-- Henry Ian Cusick is still in the cast but listed in a different spot, after Emilie de Ravin. It's always been alphabetical. Was this intentional or was someone asleep at the switch?

-- I was worried about Claire when Kate dumped her out of the cab; the area around LAX is not a great neighborhood. Brentwood, however, is extremely expensive. Which is why OJ lived there. And Brentwood is *not* close to the airport.

-- I'm probably over-obsessing, but the house in Brentwood was shaped like the Temple. Can one actually over-obsess about Lost?

-- Hurley's numbers were still popping up in the "flash sideways:" 15 on the wall at LAX, and the cab's license plate started with 4. Clearly, the Losties' non-Island lives are still intertwined, too.

-- Claire's ultrasound was dated *October* 22, 2004, a whole month after the crash. Interesting.

-- The whale toy was the same one Aaron had before, wasn't it? Like I said then, I think they had another primo opportunity to work in a polar bear and they blew it.

-- The cab driver was played by nasty puppet guy from Heroes. I'm just posting that to prove that I haven't completely blocked Heroes from my mind. And Jeff Kober, the guy who popped Kate's handcuffs, played a couple of key parts on Buffy.

-- Why do Rogaine and Lemon keep wanting to talk to people alone?

Quotes: (this was a very quotable episode)

Sawyer: "He's an Iraqi torturer who shoots kids. He definitely deserves another go-round."

Hurley: "See, private talks kinda freak me out, because they usually lead to me having to do something I don't quite understand."
Jack: "I'm right there with you."
Miles: "It's fine. We'll be in the food court if you need us."

Claire: "Drugs? Will that hurt the baby?"
Ethan: "They're perfectly safe. I just don't want to stick you with needles if I don't have to."

Kate: "I'm sorry. I never should have followed you."
Sawyer: "Which time?"

Sawyer: "I think some of us are meant to be alone."

Dogen: "I was brought here, like everyone else."
Jack: "What do you mean, brought here?"
Dogen: "You know exactly what I mean."

I'm not a fan of Kate-centric episodes, and I'll admit I was underwhelmed after the all-encompassing, high quality freakiness of "LA X." But I still think this one deserves three out of four polar bears,

Billie

All of my Lost reviews are archived here.
Photo credit: Doc Arzt
(Season 6, episode 3)

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Chuck: Chuck versus the Mask

“It’s a date.”

The time has come for our great switcheroo. Chuck is genuinely interested in Hannah, and Sarah is more or less interested in Shaw. She certainly does have a tall, dark, and handsome type. Shaw and Hannah both came on pretty strong: Hannah took a job she’s immensely overqualified for to work with Chuck (kinda sweet, kinda creepy) and Shaw has memorized Sarah’s coffee order (kinda creepy, kinda sweet).

Chuck is so fast-paced this season. I expected them to draw out the Chuck-Hannah thing for a really long time, but they jumped right to the sex on the BuyMore couch (I hope they laid down a blanket: didn’t Jeff used to sleep there?). Is this the first time Chuck has had sex since he dated Jill in college? Or since he dated Jill in Season Two? Chuck did a double-take when he saw Sarah and Shaw canoodling post-contaminant, but then he ran straight to Hannah. Hannah definitely likes him, but she also stood up for herself when he abandoned her during the first mission. Good, she’s got backbone.

Sarah and Shaw, meanwhile…hmmm. Shaw definitely has a dark past: we know that because he sometimes looks into the middle distance with a pained and vacant look on his face. Sarah claims she likes his attention, but I’m not buying it. Is she playing him? Hoping to make Chuck jealous? Hoping to set Chuck free? Genuinely interested? I think it’s a combination of those things, which is sweet. Being a spy must be lonely, and a little cold comfort seems appropriate.

Morgan and Ellie abandoned their quest once they “realized” what was going on: Chuck wasn’t depressed, he’d switcheroo-ed one girl for another. Ellie looked so proud, and Morgan looked so sad. Poor guy: Chuck didn’t even know that Morgan had a crush, because he’s been so busy with spying. Those two need to have a heart-to-heart sometime soon. Morgan even said, “I’m you’re best friend, dude. At least I used to be.”

The other great switcheroo was the mask of Alexander, which contains a biological agent. The Ring wanted to recapture it, having snuck it into the country via a customs-loophole. Oh, who am I kidding? That Mission Impossible homage was hilarious, especially since it involved Shaw totally screwing up and needing Chuck to come to his rescue. Now that’s a switcheroo.

Chuck really saved the day all around, didn’t he? (Well, as long as you’re not a fan of Hellenistic art.) He saved the museum from being blown up, much to Casey’s chagrin, and saved Hannah, and Shaw, and Sarah. According to Shaw, the training wheels are coming off. Chuck is on his way to becoming a real spy without a support team. What does that mean for our show?


Bytes:

• Chuck: “I assume you are referring to the ancient art of Nerd-Herding.”

• Shaw: “Just because we haven’t slept together doesn’t mean you have to act like this is a middle school dance.”

• Hannah: “Any idea what she is doing here? Other than making you jealous with that ridiculously good-looking date of hers.”
Chuck: “Ridiculously good-looking? Hm, hrmph, rrrrr, in a strong, Superman kinda…”

• Shaw: “Did Walker and Bartowski turn off their mikes for some reason?”
Casey: “No, I did. Those two gab like little school girls when they’re out in the field. It’s murder on the ears.”
I think Casey had other motives. Is he a Sharah or a Charah? (Do those names work even a little bit?)

• Chuck: “You didn’t make an ass out of yourself. I’m the ass.”
Hannah. “Clearly…weirdo.”

• Morgan: “I had an epiphany last night.”
Ellie: “What’s that?”
Morgan: “A sudden intuitive realization…”
What movie or TV show had a character who did that? Who answered questions with the wrong answers? Help me, please! [Edited to add: Andrew, Buffy Season Seven]

• Shaw: “Well, then, I’m glad we had this talk.” Now that’s romance.


…And Pieces:

• The museum scenes (well, at least the establishing shots) were taken at the Getty Villa in the Pacific Palisades. Just not in the ‘villa’ part. The Getty Villa is actually closed some weekdays, so the daytime break-in is plausible. As are the shots of Santa Monica and the PCH that we got: they most likely formed Chuck’s route from Burbank. How Shaw got from Burbank to the Palisades in under an hour is another question entirely.

• The Ring spy was played by Henri Lubatti. Henri Lubatti, Imdb tells me, is an entirely different person from Robert Benedict. Robert Benedict has been on Alias, Buffy, and Supernatural. Henri Lubatti has been on Angel and The OC. Different people, Josie. Different people.

• The simultaneous harnessing above the vault was charming.

• The vase-smashing scene was hilarious. “One of these things is not like the others” is a great Sesame Street line, and the whole scene was very Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Chuck flashed wisely.

• No Awesome, Jeff, or Lester this week.

• That music at the end might have actually been Muse, and not just a Muse ripoff.

Mini-yikes:

• Even though Sarah was okay with it after the fact, Shaw using the mission as an excuse to feel her up was uncomfortable. And also hot. He’s a sexy man.


The end-of-episode voiceover told me that Chuck will return Monday after the Olympics. Hey, NBC, that’s incredibly vague for those of us who don’t have the Winter Olympics schedule memorized. I think we get more Chuck around the first of March.

Three out of four double-shot americanos with no sugar, no cream, and one swizzle stick.

All of my Chuck reviews are archived here.
(Season Three, Episode Seven)

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Smallville: Absolute Justice

Lois: "Nice helmet."
Doctor Fate: "Thank you."

Dan liked it, for the most part. But I think it was out of my league, pun intended.

Costumes, costumes, costumes! Feathers, stars, helmets, leather... flying people with costumes! Smallville used to be pretty minimalist when it came to flying people with costumes, which is probably one reason why I found it easier to relate. Maybe they all stopped by to give Clark hints on color and style. Personally, I like the black with the subtle white S; I just realized that it's a callback to what Marlon Brando wore in the original Superman movie in 1978.

I'll give them big points for casting the wonderful Michael Shanks as Hawkman. He looked like he belonged on Smallville, he transcended the material as well as those stupid looking wings, and he made me laugh out loud several times, usually while ripping Oliver. I've always liked Pam Grier a lot, too, and I hope she returns.

And I'm very fond of Martian Manhunter, and was pleased that he finally got his powers back. He was even in his costume (or a subdued version of it) for the first time. (That was the first time, wasn't it? After nine years, let me tell you, Smallville is a great big mish-mosh in my head.) I also liked Chloe learning about what she was doing wrong as Watchtower (courtesy of Stargirl). Chloe was definitely getting too autocratic and losing her warmth, and I've been unhappy about the hints that she's going Dark Willow.

But Tess as Pam Grier's minion? Will they please stop giving Tess new roles in an attempt to make her character work? She's Lex! She's Lionel! She's helping Zod, no, she's trying to save the world! She's Oliver's love interest! She's *not* Oliver's love interest! I wish they'd decide exactly what Tess really is, and then promptly write her out of the show. No, forget the first part of that. Just please write her out of the show.

Dan, who knows comics much better than I do, thought the whole thing was a DC-gasm of old school spandex, and he wondered if they were actually going to bring in Darkside (okay, oops, Darkseid), which apparently is pretty major. Personally, I was a tiny bit cheered by the mention of Lex, since he was the reason I got into this show in the first place.

Finally, I should probably mention that this was the first episode with more than one word in the title. Does it mean anything? I have no idea. Probably that they already used the title "Justice" in season six.

All of my Smallville reviews are archived here.
(Season 9, episode 11)

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Supernatural: The Song Remains the Same

Sam: "They all say we'll say yes."
Dean: "I know. It's getting annoying."

"In the Beginning" was a tough act to follow, but they absolutely pulled it off. I loved nearly everything about this episode. (Except for Anna's betrayal and her horrible death. Why do the cool female characters always die on this show?)

I really wanted Dean to tell Mary who he was, but I thought no, the writers won't go there. But then they did, and it really worked. And then they took it back again, and that worked, too. Which is why Supernatural is such a terrific show. The writers know it's all about the Winchesters, about their emotions, the tragedy of their lives, their love for each other, and that's exactly what they keep giving us. Good job, and thank you.

It's no secret that I'm deeply into Dean, and it was certainly a strong episode for him, but Sam got the best stuff this time. I was so moved by the way he kept staring at Mary with his heart in his eyes. And the best scene was Sam telling an unknowing John that he understood what John did to them and forgave him for his failings as a father. If they never bring Jeffrey Dean Morgan back, I think we just got some closure for their troubled relationship. (Although I still want Jeffrey Dean Morgan to come back before the end of the series.)

Michael's advent (so to speak) was a bit of a shocker, even though it was way past time we met him. And was he creepy, or what? That bloodline thing was set up a long time ago, so it made sense that John could be Michael's vessel, too; I've always thought we might get the twist of Lucifer trying for Dean, as well.

Supernatural has always been heavy with the unavoidable destiny. There's always this constant feeling of inevitability, that the worst will indeed happen, like Dean going to Hell in season three. And now we have Sam as Lucifer's vessel, Dean as Michael's, Michael has to kill Lucifer, yadda yadda yadda. I think they just introduced the possibility that it might not happen after all, that free will in the Supernaturalverse might actually exist, and I want that. I want Dean and Sam to avoid their big angel vessel showdown. (Well, duh.) It would be a great twist if they did exactly that, wouldn't it?

All this terrific stuff, and there was more. I also loved Dean trying to protect John, and John insisting on learning how to post the sigil. And the scene with John and Mary arguing in the front seat of the Impala, with Dean and Sam observing from the back seat, was priceless. "Wow. Awkward family road trip."

How sad that Dean and Sam would have been fine with never being born. Understandable, though.

Bits and pieces:

-- The title of this episode was originally "Back to the Future II," but was recently changed. Maybe there were copyright issues.

-- How lovely that Castiel now thinks of Sam as his friend, too. Sad that he turned in Anna, though. Damn it, I liked Anna.

-- Bringing Uriel back but a lot younger was a fun choice, too.

-- Michael assured Dean that unlike his brothers, he wouldn't leave Dean a dribbling idiot. And John seemed to be okay afterward. So there's that.

-- I was confused about the sigils fading. What happened there?

-- I knew Mary had to be pregnant, even though they didn't say when the boys landed in 1978. The cheap ceramic angel that Mary placed over Dean's crib was actually a callback to season two's "Houses of the Holy."

-- Castiel mostly did a lot of passing out. How did Dean pay for Castiel's motel room? Okay, they probably stole some cash along with the car, but they must have done it PDQ.

-- I'm going to just skip over the Cain and Abel stuff. And why didn't Michael just let Sam stay dead? Yes, fate, inevitability, but why didn't Michael just let Sam stay dead?

Quotes:

Anna: "This is what you dream about?"
Dean: "Awkward."
Strippers in devil costumes? Really?

Sam: "I mean, the moustaches alone."

Sam: "Is he all right?"
Dean: "What do I look like, Doctor Angel Medicine Woman? He'll wake up. He's, you know, tough for a little nerdy dude with wings."
Doctor Quinn, Medicine Woman is mentioned now and then. I've always wondered if it was because Jensen Ackles played Jane Seymour's son on Smallville.

Dean: "What exactly are we gonna march up there and tell them?"
Sam: "Uh, the truth?"
Dean: "What? That their sons are back from the future to save them from an angel gone terminator? Hey, come on. Those movies haven't even come out yet."

Sam: "You are so beautiful."
Dean: "He means that in a non-weird, wholesome, family kind of way."

Dean: "All of a sudden, you really remind me of my dad."

John: "Your father was supposed to protect you."
Sam: "He was trying. He died trying. Believe me."

Dean: "There's a big difference between dying and never being born. And trust me, we're okay with it. I promise you that."

Michael: "It's in your blood, your father's blood, your family's blood."
Dean: "Awesome. Six degrees of heaven bacon." Groan.

Loved it. Four out of four Deloreans,

Billie

All of my Supernatural reviews are archived here.
(Season 5, episode 13)

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Fringe: Jacksonville

“This is what William Bell warned me about.”

When two worlds collide, pairs of objects are smooshed together. And because every action has an equal and opposite reaction, if an object comes from over-there to over-here, another object has to go from over-here to over-there. Because of the laws of narrative balance, that object will be similar to the first object: a building for a building.


Because of the laws of plot, we must go to Florida, the only place where Olivia can re-subject herself to Walter’s tests, try to remember stuff from her childhood, and generally up the ante on the past colliding with the present. The Jacksonville trip was odd, and reminded me of the hunt for the old books in last week’s episode: a chunk of time in the middle of the episode that didn’t really lead to much except characters getting angry at one another. And us being reminded that Olivia’s childhood nickname was Olive, which is cute.

Collision is our Theme of the Week. That poor single guy collided with his married self, although I don’t understand how it was that he existed in the alterna-verse of Manhatan and in this one: it takes so many chance happenings to create a specific being, how could one person exist in both worlds when so many things are so different? Oh, well. Let’s leave that aside, as it just doesn’t make sense and probably never will.

Olivia’s childhood experiences collided with her adult experience of maturation, and she was finally able to see the ‘glimmer’ of the worlds interacting with one another. (Was this ability the point of the trials that Walter conducted, or a happy byproduct?) Olivia claimed that she wasn’t scared of anything, but what she’s really scared of is failure. She has somehow decided that the fate of the world rests on her shoulders: is it because she has those latent mental powers? The ability to see the ‘glimmer’? Her FBI training? She’s never seemed to feel responsible for the world before—or did I miss something?

She certainly has something to be responsible for now: she saw the glimmer surrounding Peter and knows he is not of this world (this reminded me, as I’ve said of another Fringe episode, of Buffy’s ‘No Place Like Home’). Her knowledge of Peter’s alterna-origins will almost certainly affect whether or not drinks turns into smoochies.

And what about those smoochies? While I think Peter chose the worst possible time to hit on her, and while it felt a bit sudden (despite the year and a half of waiting), I’m as much a fan of the possibilities of their coupling as Walter is. They’re definitely well-suited: Peter helps Olivia see the angles she hasn’t considered, and she is more open with him than with anyone else we’ve seen. Olivia tempers Peter’s anger, and does a decent job of keeping him on the straight and narrow (although the responsibility of taking care of Walter has played a big part in that, too). This is the good kind of collision: two people coming together and making each other stronger. A partnership. A team. A sexy team.

But that kind of sexy partnership can’t exist without honesty, so Olivia is faced with the quandary of what to do about her knowledge. As Broyles says, sometimes the only choices are bad ones. And is the glimmer-ability something she can turn off and on? Because having sex with a glowy person sounds really creepy. Like having a nightlight and a lover all wrapped into one.

This episode smooshed together some decent plot developments with some decent character developments. We learned a few things about the alterna-verse: they don’t have coffee, they might drive double-decker cars (is that even safe?), the 9/11 terrorist attacks hit the Pentagon and the White House. We learned a bit more about Walter’s experiments on Olivia, but not an overwhelming amount. But all of this mythology—what does it add up to? The worlds aren’t colliding by themselves, right? That guy Newton made them collide by setting up a temporary doorway: should we be worried that this is the beginning of the storm, or is it just a one-time event?

I find myself more curious about what will happen to our heroes. What will Olivia do? Will she and Peter become a couple? Giving someone tragic news then acting as their shoulder to cry on is certainly one time-tested seduction strategy, although a rather manipulative one. Will Peter and Olivia put their inevitably-undying love on hold so he can deal with this craziness? Will he abandon Walter and the Fringe Division to work his issues out, then come back to Olivia drunk, confused, and in need of some lovin’?

We have to wait until April to find out: Fringe is on hiatus. I hope our next episode answers some of these questions, and I suspect it will.


The Good:

• Walter: “That’s fantastic! I’ve never won anything before.”

• Peter: “First times are always sloppy.” That sounds dirty, right?

• Peter: “Walter, you were conducting drug trials on children. Don’t make it sound like charity work.”

• Olivia: “Now what? Should we find some more kids to scare?”

• Joshua Jackson looks better. I’m glad he’s gotten over his flu.

• Lab guy: “Yeah, yeah. Raiders of the Lost Ark. The idol and the bag of sand.”
Peter: “Not the metaphor I would have chosen. But, yeah.”

• Broyles: “There are times when the only choices you have left are bad ones.”

• Peter: “In fact, it would be my preference if you could be some place else all together.”


The Bad:

• The alterna-verse has a coffee shortage. I’m so grateful that I live in this reality.

• The experiment school in Jacksonville had a white blackboard and black chalk.

• The bad guy’s name is Newton. I don’t think I noticed that until this episode.

• Walter seemed to know that 9/11 would be different over there. But he was in St. Claire’s in 2001, so how would he know? Does this relate to his (still) un-addressed journey with the Observer at the end of Season One?


Probably Just Some Byproduct of Global Warming:

• Y’know. Like earthquakes.

• “A quantum tectonic event.”

• I don’t understand how such high-minded sciency stuff can be so dependent on Olivia re-gaining her traumatic childhood memories. Is it because people are the variables?

• An unscheduled controlled demolition? What a hilarious cover story. It reminded me of “Gas leak. PCP.” on Buffy.

• Olivia’s eye-opening shot, especially when segued into her looking straight up into a cluster of narrow trees, was very, very Lost. This whole episode was very Lost. I’m resistant to over-thinking the postmodern significance of a chain of empty alterna-signifiers in J.J. Abrams-created shows, so I’m just going to ask that we keep Lost information out of the Fringe comments, and vice versa, so we don’t ruin anything for anyone.


3.7 out of four all-expenses-paid trips to NYC.

All of my Fringe reviews are archived here.
(Season Two, Episode Fifteen)

[Edited to add: I posted a comment in this thread that could possibly, maybe, a tiny bit, be construed as a spoiler, although I left it open-ended as to what on earth I meant. I don't think it is a spoiler, but I've been having second thoughts, so read at your peril if you are spoilerphobic.]

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Lost: LA X

Ben: "You're the monster."
Locke: "Let's not resort to name calling."

Two timelines, no waiting. This episode was so wild and crazy that I was almost thankful for the commercials so that my brain could at least try to keep up. I said, almost.

Island Stuff

At first I thought Jack was dreaming. And then I thought of multiverses, a theory that has always felt like bull to me. But I finally decided that the Island stuff is real, because it's a continuation of the story we've been hooked on for the past five years. And the 815-never-crashed alternate timeline is... well, I haven't figured that out yet. In "The Incident," Jacob said, "It only ends once." This will all end. There will be a final battle, with our Losties versus the Nemesis, whom I think I should call the Man in Black now. Dan thinks that once the Island stuff is resolved, the timelines will converge and the Losties will get their lives back. Interesting theory.

The bomb going off clearly tossed the Losties back to 2007, since the debris was from the hatch explosion that Locke caused at the end of season two and Juliet was near the surface. The first thing Juliet said was, "It didn't work." After she died, Miles said that she said, "It worked." So which was it? Did Juliet change her mind in the afterlife? When Miles was "reading" the dead Juliet, we could hear Monster-related sounds, which just freaked me out a bit.

Dead is dead, but Sayid isn't dead. I thought it was touching that Sayid was convinced he was going to Hell, and resigned to it. What is he now? Will he turn evil, like I assume Ben did after his childhood encounter with the spring in the Temple? Or did Jacob take over Sayid's dead body, like the Man in Black took Locke's? Did the Man in Black choose Locke as his vessel because Locke was the first one Jacob touched that died?

Why did the Man in Black kill everyone under the Foot but Ben? Maybe he wants to use him again for something... or maybe Ben is protected because he was once healed by the spring? I wonder which side Ben will end up on? Wouldn't it be cool if Ben became one of the good guys?

"815 never crashed" Stuff

There was something about the 815 story that felt like the sympathetic magic they used to recreate the crash on flight 316. Like Charlie nearly dying, like he did on the Island, and Jack bringing him back *again*. Like the pen Jack asked for, which was what Boone did on the beach. (Kate lifted the pen to pick the lock on her handcuffs.) The marshal was bonked on the head again. I was particularly intrigued by the inexplicable disappearance of Christian's coffin and Locke's suitcase full of knives.

It was so much fun to see the cast back on the plane, but different; it was the gift that kept on giving. Bernard making it back to his seat. Doc Arzt asking Hurley how he got rich, and Sawyer trying to protect Hurley (or thinking about conning him). Boone and Locke connecting, just the way they did on the Island. Jack and Sawyer both attracted to Kate. And how about Jack and Locke connecting over their "lost luggage"? I can't believe I never put Jack (spinal surgeon) and Locke (paraplegic) together in my head before. Jack is going to heal Locke, isn't he? How logical.

What was with Desmond? It didn't feel like he was real. Of course, we all know Desmond wasn't on 815, but it wasn't just that. Hurley as the luckiest guy in the world was really interesting, too; it certainly implied that the numbers were indeed cursed. And why was there blood on Jack's neck?

The creepiest thing was that shot of the Island underwater. Is that going to be the end of the series, with the Man in Black defeated, the Island gone like Atlantis, and everyone going back to their lives?

Yes, I'm confused, but I'm used to being confused by Lost. It feels like we're going to find out what's going on, though, and it will all be resolved and it will even make sense. It just occurred to me that I've never even thought about how I want this series to end. It's weird that I don't know what I want. Other than to get the answers to absolutely freaking everything, of course.

Since we're supposed to get all the answers this season... voila! A new section!

What have we learned?

-- The Man in Black, who is using a simulacrum of Locke's body, is also the Smoke Monster. And he seems to be invulnerable, if you go by the smushed bullet we saw.

-- The gray ash stuff protects you from the Man in Black. Which explains why it surrounded the cabin, and why they were pouring it around the Temple.

-- Ilana, Bram and friends were Jacob's bodyguards. Heck of a job, Brownie.

-- Jacob's ghost wasn't like the Walking Dead; he was still Jacob. And only Hurley could see him. I thought that was interesting.

Who brings a book into a cave?

-- On the plane, Rose was reading the Weekly Woodman. Weekly Woodman??? On the back cover was an obvious tribute to The X-Files: a flying saucer, "The Truth is out there," and an ad for Morley cigarettes. I hope that doesn't mean that the answers to everything are going to be a mish-mosh conglomeration made up after the fact. Maybe it was just subliminal reassurance that we'll eventually get the answers.

-- Desmond was reading Salmon Rushdie. Didn't catch the title. If you know, please post a comment! Yes, I could go search for other reviews, but I never do that.

-- The book that fell out of Montand's pack was a French translation of Soren Kierkegaard's Fear and Trembling. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fear_and_Trembling) It was originally published under the name "John the Silent", and wow, what a great Lost reference considering John is now dead. And it's a philosophical work centered around the sacrifice of Isaac as a test of faith in God. Jeez Louise. Lost is back.

Character bits:

-- Juliet's death in this episode didn't upset me as much as what I *thought* was her death in "The Incident." Maybe the "815-never-crashed" stuff made it feel unreal.

-- Juliet said she wanted to save Sawyer from the Island. She was wrong, though. The Island made Sawyer the good person she fell in love with.

-- In love triangle news (guess it's a triangle again with Juliet gone), Jack and Sawyer were both lying there unconscious, and Kate immediately went to Jack. Sawyer said he'd kill Jack, but later told Kate he wouldn't. I don't know... Sawyer kept his word twice about killing people, didn't he? (Cooper and Tom.)

-- The Man in Black said that Locke's final thought at the moment of his death was, "I don't understand," and that he was the only one of the Losties who knew how pathetic his life was. That's truly sad. I hope Locke gets another chance.

-- We heard Greg Grunberg's voice as Captain Norris, but didn't see him.

-- In the alt timeline, Shannon didn't leave Australia with Boone.

-- Charlie was arrested and left with his guitar case.

-- Did Sun plant the money in Jin's suitcase so that he would get arrested? And did Sun ever learn to speak English, or was she lying about it?

-- Cindy the flight attendant is apparently some kind of high priestess now.

-- We only caught a glimpse of Claire in the cab Kate hijacked at LAX, and only a head shot. Was she pregnant?

-- Who was the Temple leader, the guy who knew English but wouldn't speak it? What language was he speaking? And who was his buddy with the glasses (who was played by yet another Deadwood actor)? Names would be nice.

Bits and pieces:

-- The Island scenes began with a close-up of Kate's right eye. Kate has never gotten an eye scene before. http://www.billiedoux.com/losteyes.html

-- Jeremy Davies and Elizabeth Mitchell (*sob*) are out of the cast, and Nestor Carbonell, Emilie de Ravin, Jeff Fahey and Zuleikha Robinson are in. I assume Elizabeth Mitchell would have survived the blast and stayed in the cast if she hadn't gotten the lead in V, because the producers of this show are not fools.

-- The Dharma van came along to 2007 with the Losties, possibly because they were touching it. And they managed to retain their clothes. (I'm fondly remembering Desmond wandering around naked after the Hatch explosion.)

-- Great payoff for the guitar case. Loved the huge ankh and the message inside of it.

-- The healing spring still worked on Sayid, but it apparently changed color when Jacob died.

-- St. Sebastian Hospital is located at 8444 Wilshire Blvd, Los Angeles, 90025. 310 area code, although I could swear it used to be 323.

-- This week's Most Obvious Symbolism may have been Charlie choking on his drugs. There are other candidates, though.

-- Red seems to be the fashion statement of choice at the Temple. Interesting that Hurley was already wearing red under his Dharma coveralls.

-- There was no effort to recreate hairstyles from the pilot, and I'm certain some of the clothes were different. Why not, considering it was a different timeline.

Quotes:

Bernard: "Remind me to hold it next time, will you?" Seeing Bernard actually come back from the bathroom was a little thing, but such fun.

Sawyer: "What do you say, Doc? Got another great idea to save Sayid? Maybe there's another nuke laying around."

Boone (to Locke): "This thing goes down, I'm sticking with you."

Juliet: "We could get coffee some time. We could go Dutch." Okay, that's what I want in the final episode: Sawyer and Juliet meeting for the first time and going for coffee.

Juliet: "Kiss me."
Sawyer: "You got it, Blondie."
I think that was the only nickname in this episode.

Charlie: "I was supposed to die."
How incredibly creepy.

Sawyer: "What's a 341?"
TSA agent: "That's confidential, sir."
Sawyer: "Well, if it's confidential, how the hell am I supposed to know if I see one?"
That was fun, since Sawyer was very aware that he was standing in front of the 341.

Sawyer: "We got caught by the others again?"
Kate: "Yeah. Only this time they're protecting us."

Locke: "Hope you find that coffin."
Jack: "Hope you find your knives."

Locke: "Hello, Richard. It's good to see you out of those chains." Was Richard a slave on the Black Rock?

I'm not exactly sure what happened, but it was awesome. Four out of four polar bears,

Billie

All of my Lost reviews are archived here.
Screencap credit: LostMedia
(Season 6, episode 1. And possibly 2.)

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Chuck: Chuck versus the Nacho Sampler

“I’m a spy.”

Chuck’s gone Dark Knight. He’s not the flubby schmuck who drops stuff when a beautiful woman walks into the BuyMore and hasn’t had a date in a year. He’s a stone-cold liar who burns his assets and tranqs with impunity. Awesome—and even Sarah—are stunned, and not in a good way, by Chuck’s move towards the dark side of the force.


I absolutely loved this episode. Chuck sees what must be done, and he does it, even though he seems to regret it. He’s taking the spy games more seriously, and doesn’t even blink when he has to lie to Ellie. As a big sister myself, I wish he would tell Ellie what’s going on, but I see how he wants to keep her and Awesome safe from the perils of WitProSec. On the other hand, lying to Ellie is deception numero uno.

The second deception is Morgan, who, it turns out, has suspected something for a while now. When Morgan finally got confirmation that something was going on with his friend, he immediately lost sight of the pretty Anna-replacement to focus on his friend. Morgan and Ellie, with their Guys Friday Lester and Jeff, have a mission of their own: to figure out what’s going on. Given Jeffster’s rather remarkable data-retrieval and analysis skills, Chuck is in for a bumpy ride. (No Yikes! section this week, but it’s definitely creepy, what Jeffster is doing.)

Deception number three is Chuck’s burning of Minoush, who’s basically an even-geekier Chuck version 1.0. The key difference is that Minoush didn’t have anyone’s best interest in mind: he was out to make a not-so-honest buck via a cool pair of Intersect-glasses. At least Chuck was concerned about keeping Minoush from the Ring, but he more-or-less quickly sacrificed him to the purgatory of a secure containment facility. I hope Minoush comes back at some point, maybe to assist Chuck in an off-the-books op. And I hope he brings a new pair of glasses.

And the final deception is Chuck’s betrayal of who he is, or at least who he used to be—which is also a betrayal of Sarah. Sarah liked him because he was innocent, back in the day, but he has very little compunction about stomping his own attachments into the dirt for “the greater good.” Sarah kept telling Casey that Chuck wasn’t ready, but really she wasn’t ready for him to be a spy: she doesn’t want Bryce Larkin, she wants Chuck Bartowski. Chuck the nice guy, not Chuck the spy.

This week we went to Dubai, which fascinates me even when it’s not the host of Weap-Con. That convention is one I just might spend big bucks on, just to see the amoral glee of tyrants and small (and large) arms dealers at watching demonstrations of violence. Casey loves this stuff, and Chuck is starting to love it too: they both bought trinkets, and Chuck took Casey’s advice about the scotch. Casey even gave Chuck a pat on the back. That is dark.

Bytes (so many, it’s more like megabytes):

• Chuck: “Lester, Jeff: two of our finest members of the BuyMoron staff.”

• Lester: “May the best stalker win.”

• Casey: “One ‘mish’ does not an agent make.”

• Chuck: “Is that a Burbankian accent I detect? Your eyes are hypnotic. Chestnut, hazel? Call me!”

• Awesome: “I pulled a hammy, I’ll have you know.” Do people actually have nicknames for their muscles?

• Chuck: “Yogurt, most important meal of the day.”

• Jeff: “It’s my constitutional right to fornicate.”

• Lester: “Next hire, I want you to find me a wife. A woman of color, preferably Padma Lashki.”

• Lester: “Consider her stalked.”

• Casey: “You hadn’t had a date in over a year, and they don’t waste the blondes on just anyone.”

• Casey: “Great, two geeks in a pod.”

• Casey: “Nice job, Walker. Another geek bites the dust.”

• Minoush: “Ladies, gentlemen, warlords, sheiks, and Huns. I see some Huns back there, don’t I?”

• Minoush: “At this time yesterday I was a pathetic weakling.”

• Chuck: “Intercourse?”

• Salesman: “As you can see, many of our products are ideally suited for resolving these types of hostage situations.”

• Casey: “Just like Bartowski. Bring a knife to a gun fight.” That’s an homage to The Untouchables, one of the best lines in cinematic history.

• Awesome: “You have to obey me! I think that was in our vows!”

• Morgan: “Are you suggesting Chuck is caught in a big scary web of conspiracy and deception?...Because I couldn’t agree more.”

…And Pieces:

• No Superman this week. He was off-grid.

• But we did get some Y: The Last Man. Bryan K. Vaughn, you get more shout-outs than Alan Moore!

• I want that Frak Off t-shirt so very much.

• More pseudo-‘Knights of Cydonia’ score this week. Still weird.

• The tranq-gun sequence with Minoush was hilarious.

• Chuck’s cheesy thumbs-up, and Sarah’s look of ironic happiness, at Casey’s own joy about being able to write off Weap-Con as a business expense.

• As many of you detected in my review last week, I have never seen Smallville. But I’m liking this Hannah character, and I especially like that she’s not the only speed-bump on Chuck and Sarah’s current road.

• The French Legionnaires.

• Josh Schwartz, one of the creators of Chuck, invented Ultimate Frisbee when he was in college. So I saw that nacho-platter thing coming at least 30 seconds before it happened.

• Lester and Jeff thinking that Morgan had finally admitted his secret lust for Chuck.

Four out of four Vicky Vales. Vicky-vicky vale.

(Season Three, Episode Six)

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Fringe: The Bishop Revival

“All of Hitler’s dreams in one little toxin.”

I love a good Nazi thriller as much as the next person. Valkyrie was a great movie. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade was even better. I even liked the Angel episode “Why We Fight,” and didn’t hate that FlashForward episode with the old Nazi guy. But this episode didn’t work for me at all. Here’s why.


It took the Fringe Division an awfully long time to realize that the Master Race was the goal of a toxin that could be modified to kill people based on a specific genetic profile. I pretty much figured that out at the wedding massacre. In fact, this episode telegraphed most of the reveals early one: the Hilter-hairstyle and old-fashioned wire-rims on the guy at the wedding clued me in to Nazis right away.

Many episodes have dealt with Walter’s past sins being visited upon the present Fringe Division. Bringing Walter’s dad into the mix felt like a Cousin Oliver-style family connection. I feel like the writer’s room conversation must have gone something like this: We need a Bishop to have been a Nazi double-agent! Why? Because family connections add to the suspense! How? Because they just do! Really? It’s a standalone—just roll with it!

The mini-plot of Walter’s old books was both impossible (really, they tracked down used and re-sold books in an afternoon?) and a dead-end. It gave Walter and Peter a chance to butt heads, and Walter’s anger towards Peter was interesting. But the whole scenario suffered from too much explanation: Peter spelled out his motivations and regrets to Olivia, and Walter just had to say that family means more to him than anything. Family is, of course, our Theme of the Week.

This episode didn’t trust us to figure anything out on our own: in fact, it assumed that we were just mindless automata who stare at screens in dark rooms. Everything was explained, including the Key Character Insights ™. It’s impossible for me not to compare this to Supernatural, my new favorite show: on SPN, the writers trust the actors to convey information without making them state it out loud. Doing so makes the whole thing feel vibrant and messy and alive and real.

I know I’ve been awfully down on Fringe lately, and I’m not the only one. The ratings aren’t doing great—although they’re not awful—and interviewers have begun to ask Abrams, Orci, Kutzman, and Pinker about whether or not the Season Two finale would work as a series-ender. I am really excited about what I’ve heard about the next episode, as well as the season finale. But these standalones really do vary in quality, and this one in particular felt very half-baked and heavy-handed.


The Good:

• Walter: “Purple never goes out of style.”

• Walter is a Peter/Olivia shipper.

• Walter: “Tall people, short people, fat people, skinny people.” One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish. And now you have a glimpse into how my brain works.

The Bad:

• Peter: “Anaphylactic shock. Maybe they’re all having a reaction to something they ate or drank.” What an awkward bit of exposition, about something most people have probably heard of. Actually, this episode was full of awkward exposition.

• Peter: “What are you telling me? That my grandfather was a Nazi?” Even though Gramps was a good Nazi, working for the Americans, Peter took this news with very little angst.

• Po-mo Artist: “Showing history’s tyrants as regular schmucks.” This made me think of the Wallace Stevens poem "Burghers of Petty Death."

• The mother of the groom at the wedding: she survived the Holocaust, only to be killed by a Nazi on a happy day. And she knew who he was. That’s impossibly tragic.

Fascinating, But Not a Likely Possibility:

• Do chemists really “sign” their work? That’s cool.

• Using great works of literature to smuggle out state secrets was a plot-point on Alias.

• If I bought a book at a used bookstore, and the clerk asked me for my full name and address to keep track of what I’d purchased, I’d run out of that store like a conspiracy theorist on meth.

• Peter: “It must be something hot. A candle, a coffee urn.” I wish I went to conferences glam enough that the coffee was actually hot.

One out of four Cousin Olivers.

(Season Two, Episode Fourteen)

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