Misfits: Episode Seven (Oh Wonderful One, Why Are You Like That?)

Simon: “I'm going to kill Jesus.”

This was the most messed-up nativity story I've ever seen. I can still see Nathan stamping on that afterbirth. Truly disgusting. And, of course, quite brilliant. No wonder E4 put out a gore warning before this episode aired. It was enough to traumatise anyone. Tonight's tale was something of a game changer. All of our Misfits sold their powers; and then bought back completely new ones. What they are we'll have to wait until next season to find out. I can't wait.

Kelly and Alisha's powers have been pretty redundant this season. They were interesting back in season one, but they're just not useful enough to feature on a regular basis. So maybe it is time for a change. Alisha's power has always seemed more of a curse than anything else. And Nathan and Curtis' abilities have always felt overpowered. Curtis being able to turn back time is a quick fix for any situation. (Though to be fair, Howard Overman has used it sparingly.) Similarly, Nathan's immortality takes the drama out of any potentially life threatening incident. We're never worried when Nathan dies, because we know he'll always come back. There's only Simon's ability that's ever felt truly balanced.

It took Nikki's death to make them all realise that their powers are important. Simon, early on, said that his power was part of who he was. He didn't see it as some foreign body festering inside of him. He saw it as part of his physical make-up. The rest of the Misfits thought that by selling their powers they could buy back their freedom. But all it did was make them vulnerable. Impotent. Unable to fight back. Curtis couldn't turn back time and stop Nikki dying. Nathan couldn't take a bullet for her. They all failed -- both themselves and Nikki.

I could sympathise with Alisha's frustration. Her superpower was never good for anything. It never saved anyone. It also prevented her from having physical contact with the people she loved. So it was understandable that she'd choose to sell her power. But it was inexcusable of her to trick Simon into giving up his own. Maybe she was afraid that Simon would never be safe -- that they would never lead a normal life together. But lying to him was wrong. To her credit, she realised her error almost right away. But by then it was too late. Nikki was dead.

Simon was a revelation, tonight. He's looking more and more like Superhoodie with each passing hour. You can almost see his confidence growing. Admittedly, his parkour skills are slow in developing. Those were some nasty knocks he took. But at least he's trying. Unfortunately, he's struggling to live up to the standards set by his future self. (Both as a hero and a lover.) But taking sex tips from Nathan? You have to draw the line somewhere. Mind you, they seemed to work. (Lozenge anyone?) But Simon still sees his future self as another person, separate from himself. And currently, he feels small in comparison.

Nathan was the biggest surprise of the night. How sweet that he sold his immortality to provide for Marnie and her baby. He even gave her his last £1.68. Now that's love! (Even if he did take back 50p to buy a Kit Kat.) Nathan and Marnie are the perfect couple. Finally, someone who pisses and shits themselves as much as he does. That scene where the baby pressed on Marnie's bladder, causing her to piss on his foot, was comedy gold. Nathan didn't even seem particularly disgusted. Talk about a match made in heaven.

And speaking of heaven, who'd have guessed Jesus could be such a bastard? Demanding money from the needy. Having sex with all and sundry. (I'm talking about fake Jesus, obviously; not historic Jesus.) Thank goodness he got what he deserved; a steel locker to the face. Loved the wreath falling down and landing on his dead head. How apt. I kind of expected Jesus' death to give them all back their powers -- but they're gone, never to return. I wonder what powers they've bought? Will Nathan still be with Marnie next year?

Next season can't come soon enough.

Bits and Pieces:

-- Trust Nathan to get ripped off selling his power. He's got the best power and sold it for the least money.

-- Now we know why Superhoodie could time travel. He's not invisible any more. Maybe he buys the ability to time travel from Seth in the future. Maybe he even has it now.

-- Loved the Zod reference. As soon as Superman gave up his superpowers General Zod tried to take over the world. Similarly, as soon as the Misfits sold their powers they were needed to save Nikki.

-- The chemistry between Nathan and Marnie is undeniable. They even had matching stomachs. I just hope there were no children watching. Seeing Santa screwing a pregnant woman is more than a child's mind can take.

-- Nathan made a truly disgusting Santa. Not quite as bad a Dan Ackroyd in Trading Places; but close.

-- I wonder how Nathan still has access to the community centre now he's not working there any more?

-- Nathan singing "Little Donkey" with the Misfits ensemble was as ludicrous as it was touching. Lovely performance from the cast. Well done chaps.

Quotes:

Kelly: “You can't go around pretending to be Jesus. What's God going to say?”
Marnie: “You haven't even got a beard.”

Marnie: "Hiya, you must be Barry. He's told me so much about you."

Kelly: "The woman in the shop thought I was shop lifting. Got me wad out, mate. She looked proper sick."

Nathan: "He looks like me."

Kelly: "It's the afterbirth, you dickhead."