Chuck: Chuck versus the Mask

“It’s a date.”

The time has come for our great switcheroo. Chuck is genuinely interested in Hannah, and Sarah is more or less interested in Shaw. She certainly does have a tall, dark, and handsome type. Shaw and Hannah both came on pretty strong: Hannah took a job she’s immensely overqualified for to work with Chuck (kinda sweet, kinda creepy) and Shaw has memorized Sarah’s coffee order (kinda creepy, kinda sweet).


Chuck is so fast-paced this season. I expected them to draw out the Chuck-Hannah thing for a really long time, but they jumped right to the sex on the BuyMore couch (I hope they laid down a blanket: didn’t Jeff used to sleep there?). Is this the first time Chuck has had sex since he dated Jill in college? Or since he dated Jill in Season Two? Chuck did a double-take when he saw Sarah and Shaw canoodling post-contaminant, but then he ran straight to Hannah. Hannah definitely likes him, but she also stood up for herself when he abandoned her during the first mission. Good, she’s got backbone.

Sarah and Shaw, meanwhile…hmmm. Shaw definitely has a dark past: we know that because he sometimes looks into the middle distance with a pained and vacant look on his face. Sarah claims she likes his attention, but I’m not buying it. Is she playing him? Hoping to make Chuck jealous? Hoping to set Chuck free? Genuinely interested? I think it’s a combination of those things, which is sweet. Being a spy must be lonely, and a little cold comfort seems appropriate.

Morgan and Ellie abandoned their quest once they “realized” what was going on: Chuck wasn’t depressed, he’d switcheroo-ed one girl for another. Ellie looked so proud, and Morgan looked so sad. Poor guy: Chuck didn’t even know that Morgan had a crush, because he’s been so busy with spying. Those two need to have a heart-to-heart sometime soon. Morgan even said, “I’m you’re best friend, dude. At least I used to be.”

The other great switcheroo was the mask of Alexander, which contains a biological agent. The Ring wanted to recapture it, having snuck it into the country via a customs-loophole. Oh, who am I kidding? That Mission Impossible homage was hilarious, especially since it involved Shaw totally screwing up and needing Chuck to come to his rescue. Now that’s a switcheroo.

Chuck really saved the day all around, didn’t he? (Well, as long as you’re not a fan of Hellenistic art.) He saved the museum from being blown up, much to Casey’s chagrin, and saved Hannah, and Shaw, and Sarah. According to Shaw, the training wheels are coming off. Chuck is on his way to becoming a real spy without a support team. What does that mean for our show?


Bytes:

• Chuck: “I assume you are referring to the ancient art of Nerd-Herding.”

• Shaw: “Just because we haven’t slept together doesn’t mean you have to act like this is a middle school dance.”

• Hannah: “Any idea what she is doing here? Other than making you jealous with that ridiculously good-looking date of hers.”
Chuck: “Ridiculously good-looking? Hm, hrmph, rrrrr, in a strong, Superman kinda…”

• Shaw: “Did Walker and Bartowski turn off their mikes for some reason?”
Casey: “No, I did. Those two gab like little school girls when they’re out in the field. It’s murder on the ears.”
I think Casey had other motives. Is he a Sharah or a Charah? (Do those names work even a little bit?)

• Chuck: “You didn’t make an ass out of yourself. I’m the ass.”
Hannah. “Clearly…weirdo.”

• Morgan: “I had an epiphany last night.”
Ellie: “What’s that?”
Morgan: “A sudden intuitive realization…”
What movie or TV show had a character who did that? Who answered questions with the wrong answers? Help me, please! [Edited to add: Andrew, Buffy Season Seven]

• Shaw: “Well, then, I’m glad we had this talk.” Now that’s romance.


…And Pieces:

• The museum scenes (well, at least the establishing shots) were taken at the Getty Villa in the Pacific Palisades. Just not in the ‘villa’ part. The Getty Villa is actually closed some weekdays, so the daytime break-in is plausible. As are the shots of Santa Monica and the PCH that we got: they most likely formed Chuck’s route from Burbank. How Shaw got from Burbank to the Palisades in under an hour is another question entirely.

• The Ring spy was played by Henri Lubatti. Henri Lubatti, Imdb tells me, is an entirely different person from Robert Benedict. Robert Benedict has been on Alias, Buffy, and Supernatural. Henri Lubatti has been on Angel and The OC. Different people, Josie. Different people.

• The simultaneous harnessing above the vault was charming.

• The vase-smashing scene was hilarious. “One of these things is not like the others” is a great Sesame Street line, and the whole scene was very Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Chuck flashed wisely.

• No Awesome, Jeff, or Lester this week.

• That music at the end might have actually been Muse, and not just a Muse ripoff.

Mini-yikes:

• Even though Sarah was okay with it after the fact, Shaw using the mission as an excuse to feel her up was uncomfortable. And also hot. He’s a sexy man.


The end-of-episode voiceover told me that Chuck will return Monday after the Olympics. Hey, NBC, that’s incredibly vague for those of us who don’t have the Winter Olympics schedule memorized. I think we get more Chuck around the first of March.

Three out of four double-shot americanos with no sugar, no cream, and one swizzle stick.

(Season Three, Episode Seven)

Read full post.

Heroes: The Wall

I do apologize for the late review. I had a heavy workload this week, followed by a bad case of the flu, followed by problems with my Internet provider. Also, I had visit on the stove while on the phone in the shower, and the check's in the mail.

Lauren: “What did the world ever do to you?”
Samuel: “It should have treated me better.”

What the devil happened? The last two chapters, flawed as they were, had such a sense of purpose I was actually excited again about where the series might be heading. Unfortunately, the Heroes Powers That Be chose to squander what little momentum they’d garnered with this gem here, in which Peter and Sylar hug out their differences and a young Noah sells used cars and tries to become the next great American playwright. Oh, brother.

As you might have guessed, “The wall” is about... Actually, I don’t have a clue what statement this episode is trying to make. I suppose one could argue the characters in focus have all built walls around their souls, ones they must tear down in order to move forward, but it seems more likely the title refers to the proverbial wall at which the writers keep throwing random ideas to see what sticks.

Sylar a.k.a. Funshine Bear:
Aah! Cuddly Sylar! Make it stop! Make it stop! All right, it turns out the premonition showed Sylar behaving like Peter because the two spent the last psychic decade trapped in their collective subconscious (no body switch, I guess). It wasn’t until Sylar offered to help Peter that a brick wall appeared, symbolizing their way out, and it wasn’t until Peter forgave Sylar that the barrier could finally be broken down. Wow, sappy.

Admittedly, the turn of event was consistent with the volume’s overall message, dismissing Sylar’s quick-fix solution and providing enough time, albeit artificially, to justify the character’s redemption. The problem is we weren’t given a story so much as its Cliffs Notes. You know, if Cliffs Notes comprised awful dialogue and stilted acting. Besides, call me old-fashioned, but, after years of buildup, I really wanted Peter and Sylar to trade punches, not gooey feelings. Oh, well. The shots of the deserted city were pretty cool.

Noah a.k.a. Fozzie Bear:
Noah’s subplot this week reminded me of a comic book series called Wolverine: Origins, in which the creators took a character’s already convoluted history and added new layers of gibberish for no other reason than, hey, people loved it the first time, not so much the second and third, but whatever. I mean, what does Noah’s new origin story add to the current arc? In what way does it improve the character? More importantly, how do these revelations make any sense?

Here’s what we learnt:

--Noah used to be an honest car salesman and a struggling writer because, you know, there is nothing more pure and innocent on this earth than a writer. We are angels among worms, you see, and the very notion that our immaculate souls could somehow be corrupted over time is a tragedy like no other. Get over yourselves, Heroes writers.

--Noah’s first wife was the sort of moron who asks questions like, “What are you?” to a super-powered mugger when she should just give him the money and pray for the whole thing to be over soon. Because the hero losing the love of his life is not heavy-handed enough, she was pregnant when she was killed.

--Consumed by grief, Noah killed an innocent “special”, drawing the attention of the Company and Julia Robert’s brother.

--The Company arranged Noah’s marriage to Sandra. I imagine the purpose of this tidbit was to discredit the union, making divorce okay (what, are we in the fifties?), but really it just makes Noah a hallow Muppet who’s had his strings pulled so many times it’s hard to imagine the man ever having made a decision on his own.

Samuel a.k.a. The One I Can Still Bear:
Samuel’s plot thread was brief and all over the place, but it was still the most entertaining, owing to Robert Knepper’s ability to redeem mustache-twirling lines with his inappropriately casual delivery. The mad carnie had a busy day: he got Damien the Human Projector to dig inside Noah’s memories, had a threatening heart-to-heart with Lauren, and then buried Claire and her dad under a pile of dirt because she was being her usual snotty self.

Wait a minute. Didn’t Samuel promise Becky she’d get to kill Noah herself? Does he expect her to dig? Never mind. The most important development, I suppose, is the villain finally revealing his master plan: he’s going to use his powers to blow up New York City. Now, where have I seen this before, every volume, four years in a row? I sometimes despair.

Bits and Pieces:

--I love how Matt just left Peter’s unconscious body lying there on the ground after completing his brick wall. He could at least have brought the man a pillow.

--Apparently, there was no color in 1985. That’s why eighties fashion was so fond of electric pink and neon yellow. We just didn’t know.

--There were hints of Sylar having a bit of Nathan left in him, so his sudden redemption may be a red herring. After all, it’s easy not to hurt anyone when there’s nobody around, not so much when confronted with a super-powered carnie buffet.

--One psychic year equals one hour. In dog years, that makes 0.00079... Oh, forget it.

Quotes:
Not too many worthwhile lines, I’m afraid:

Gretchen: “I want her to be happy.”
Noah: “She is happy, here with you, in college, living a normal life.”
Credit where credit is due: Heroes is one of the first American shows I’ve seen to treat homosexual relationships as part of normal life without getting on a soap box about it.

Samuel: “I need you to stop them. Permanently.”
I hate clichéd dialogue. Vehemently.

Sylar: “I can’t bring Nathan back, Peter, but I can sure as hell sling a sledgehammer.”
Uh... Okay. And I like mittens?

Zero non-sequitur sledgehammers out of four. This was a special kind of awful.

More of me: http://www.thedreamersedge.com/
Read full post.

Smallville: Absolute Justice

Lois: "Nice helmet."
Doctor Fate: "Thank you."

Dan liked it, for the most part. But I think it was out of my league, pun intended.

Costumes, costumes, costumes! Feathers, stars, helmets, leather... flying people with costumes! Smallville used to be pretty minimalist when it came to flying people with costumes, which is probably one reason why I found it easier to relate. Maybe they all stopped by to give Clark hints on color and style. Personally, I like the black with the subtle white S; I just realized that it's a callback to what Marlon Brando wore in the original Superman movie in 1978.

I'll give them big points for casting the wonderful Michael Shanks as Hawkman. He looked like he belonged on Smallville, he transcended the material as well as those stupid looking wings, and he made me laugh out loud several times, usually while ripping Oliver. I've always liked Pam Grier a lot, too, and I hope she returns.

And I'm very fond of Martian Manhunter, and was pleased that he finally got his powers back. He was even in his costume (or a subdued version of it) for the first time. (That was the first time, wasn't it? After nine years, let me tell you, Smallville is a great big mish-mosh in my head.) I also liked Chloe learning about what she was doing wrong as Watchtower (courtesy of Stargirl). Chloe was definitely getting too autocratic and losing her warmth, and I've been unhappy about the hints that she's going Dark Willow.

But Tess as Pam Grier's minion? Will they please stop giving Tess new roles in an attempt to make her character work? She's Lex! She's Lionel! She's helping Zod, no, she's trying to save the world! She's Oliver's love interest! She's *not* Oliver's love interest! I wish they'd decide exactly what Tess really is, and then promptly write her out of the show. No, forget the first part of that. Just please write her out of the show.

Dan, who knows comics much better than I do, thought the whole thing was a DC-gasm of old school spandex, and he wondered if they were actually going to bring in Darkside (okay, oops, Darkseid), which apparently is pretty major. Personally, I was a tiny bit cheered by the mention of Lex, since he was the reason I got into this show in the first place.

Finally, I should probably mention that this was the first episode with more than one word in the title. Does it mean anything? I have no idea. Probably that they already used the title "Justice" in season six.

All of my Smallville reviews are archived here.
(Season 9, episode 11)

Read full post.

Supernatural: The Song Remains the Same

Sam: "They all say we'll say yes."
Dean: "I know. It's getting annoying."

"In the Beginning" was a tough act to follow, but they absolutely pulled it off. I loved nearly everything about this episode. (Except for Anna's betrayal and her horrible death. Why do the cool female characters always die on this show?)

I really wanted Dean to tell Mary who he was, but I thought no, the writers won't go there. But then they did, and it really worked. And then they took it back again, and that worked, too. Which is why Supernatural is such a terrific show. The writers know it's all about the Winchesters, about their emotions, the tragedy of their lives, their love for each other, and that's exactly what they keep giving us. Good job, and thank you.

It's no secret that I'm deeply into Dean, and it was certainly a strong episode for him, but Sam got the best stuff this time. I was so moved by the way he kept staring at Mary with his heart in his eyes. And the best scene was Sam telling an unknowing John that he understood what John did to them and forgave him for his failings as a father. If they never bring Jeffrey Dean Morgan back, I think we just got some closure for their troubled relationship. (Although I still want Jeffrey Dean Morgan to come back before the end of the series.)

Michael's advent (so to speak) was a bit of a shocker, even though it was way past time we met him. And was he creepy, or what? That bloodline thing was set up a long time ago, so it made sense that John could be Michael's vessel, too; I've always thought we might get the twist of Lucifer trying for Dean, as well.

Supernatural has always been heavy with the unavoidable destiny. There's always this constant feeling of inevitability, that the worst will indeed happen, like Dean going to Hell in season three. And now we have Sam as Lucifer's vessel, Dean as Michael's, Michael has to kill Lucifer, yadda yadda yadda. I think they just introduced the possibility that it might not happen after all, that free will in the Supernaturalverse might actually exist, and I want that. I want Dean and Sam to avoid their big angel vessel showdown. (Well, duh.) It would be a great twist if they did exactly that, wouldn't it?

All this terrific stuff, and there was more. I also loved Dean trying to protect John, and John insisting on learning how to post the sigil. And the scene with John and Mary arguing in the front seat of the Impala, with Dean and Sam observing from the back seat, was priceless. "Wow. Awkward family road trip."

How sad that Dean and Sam would have been fine with never being born. Understandable, though.

Bits and pieces:

-- The title of this episode was originally "Back to the Future II," but was recently changed. Maybe there were copyright issues.

-- How lovely that Castiel now thinks of Sam as his friend, too. Sad that he turned in Anna, though. Damn it, I liked Anna.

-- Bringing Uriel back but a lot younger was a fun choice, too.

-- Michael assured Dean that unlike his brothers, he wouldn't leave Dean a dribbling idiot. And John seemed to be okay afterward. So there's that.

-- I was confused about the sigils fading. What happened there?

-- I knew Mary had to be pregnant, even though they didn't say when the boys landed in 1978. The cheap ceramic angel that Mary placed over Dean's crib was actually a callback to season two's "Houses of the Holy."

-- Castiel mostly did a lot of passing out. How did Dean pay for Castiel's motel room? Okay, they probably stole some cash along with the car, but they must have done it PDQ.

-- I'm going to just skip over the Cain and Abel stuff. And why didn't Michael just let Sam stay dead? Yes, fate, inevitability, but why didn't Michael just let Sam stay dead?

Quotes:

Anna: "This is what you dream about?"
Dean: "Awkward."
Strippers in devil costumes? Really?

Sam: "I mean, the moustaches alone."

Sam: "Is he all right?"
Dean: "What do I look like, Doctor Angel Medicine Woman? He'll wake up. He's, you know, tough for a little nerdy dude with wings."
Doctor Quinn, Medicine Woman is mentioned now and then. I've always wondered if it was because Jensen Ackles played Jane Seymour's son on Smallville.

Dean: "What exactly are we gonna march up there and tell them?"
Sam: "Uh, the truth?"
Dean: "What? That their sons are back from the future to save them from an angel gone terminator? Hey, come on. Those movies haven't even come out yet."

Sam: "You are so beautiful."
Dean: "He means that in a non-weird, wholesome, family kind of way."

Dean: "All of a sudden, you really remind me of my dad."

John: "Your father was supposed to protect you."
Sam: "He was trying. He died trying. Believe me."

Dean: "There's a big difference between dying and never being born. And trust me, we're okay with it. I promise you that."

Michael: "It's in your blood, your father's blood, your family's blood."
Dean: "Awesome. Six degrees of heaven bacon." Groan.

Loved it. Four out of four Deloreans,

Billie

All of my Supernatural reviews are archived here.
(Season 5, episode 13)

Read full post.

Fringe: Jacksonville

“This is what William Bell warned me about.”

When two worlds collide, pairs of objects are smooshed together. And because every action has an equal and opposite reaction, if an object comes from over-there to over-here, another object has to go from over-here to over-there. Because of the laws of narrative balance, that object will be similar to the first object: a building for a building.


Because of the laws of plot, we must go to Florida, the only place where Olivia can re-subject herself to Walter’s tests, try to remember stuff from her childhood, and generally up the ante on the past colliding with the present. The Jacksonville trip was odd, and reminded me of the hunt for the old books in last week’s episode: a chunk of time in the middle of the episode that didn’t really lead to much except characters getting angry at one another. And us being reminded that Olivia’s childhood nickname was Olive, which is cute.

Collision is our Theme of the Week. That poor single guy collided with his married self, although I don’t understand how it was that he existed in the alterna-verse of Manhatan and in this one: it takes so many chance happenings to create a specific being, how could one person exist in both worlds when so many things are so different? Oh, well. Let’s leave that aside, as it just doesn’t make sense and probably never will.

Olivia’s childhood experiences collided with her adult experience of maturation, and she was finally able to see the ‘glimmer’ of the worlds interacting with one another. (Was this ability the point of the trials that Walter conducted, or a happy byproduct?) Olivia claimed that she wasn’t scared of anything, but what she’s really scared of is failure. She has somehow decided that the fate of the world rests on her shoulders: is it because she has those latent mental powers? The ability to see the ‘glimmer’? Her FBI training? She’s never seemed to feel responsible for the world before—or did I miss something?

She certainly has something to be responsible for now: she saw the glimmer surrounding Peter and knows he is not of this world (this reminded me, as I’ve said of another Fringe episode, of Buffy’s ‘No Place Like Home’). Her knowledge of Peter’s alterna-origins will almost certainly affect whether or not drinks turns into smoochies.

And what about those smoochies? While I think Peter chose the worst possible time to hit on her, and while it felt a bit sudden (despite the year and a half of waiting), I’m as much a fan of the possibilities of their coupling as Walter is. They’re definitely well-suited: Peter helps Olivia see the angles she hasn’t considered, and she is more open with him than with anyone else we’ve seen. Olivia tempers Peter’s anger, and does a decent job of keeping him on the straight and narrow (although the responsibility of taking care of Walter has played a big part in that, too). This is the good kind of collision: two people coming together and making each other stronger. A partnership. A team. A sexy team.

But that kind of sexy partnership can’t exist without honesty, so Olivia is faced with the quandary of what to do about her knowledge. As Broyles says, sometimes the only choices are bad ones. And is the glimmer-ability something she can turn off and on? Because having sex with a glowy person sounds really creepy. Like having a nightlight and a lover all wrapped into one.

This episode smooshed together some decent plot developments with some decent character developments. We learned a few things about the alterna-verse: they don’t have coffee, they might drive double-decker cars (is that even safe?), the 9/11 terrorist attacks hit the Pentagon and the White House. We learned a bit more about Walter’s experiments on Olivia, but not an overwhelming amount. But all of this mythology—what does it add up to? The worlds aren’t colliding by themselves, right? That guy Newton made them collide by setting up a temporary doorway: should we be worried that this is the beginning of the storm, or is it just a one-time event?

I find myself more curious about what will happen to our heroes. What will Olivia do? Will she and Peter become a couple? Giving someone tragic news then acting as their shoulder to cry on is certainly one time-tested seduction strategy, although a rather manipulative one. Will Peter and Olivia put their inevitably-undying love on hold so he can deal with this craziness? Will he abandon Walter and the Fringe Division to work his issues out, then come back to Olivia drunk, confused, and in need of some lovin’?

We have to wait until April to find out: Fringe is on hiatus. I hope our next episode answers some of these questions, and I suspect it will.


The Good:

• Walter: “That’s fantastic! I’ve never won anything before.”

• Peter: “First times are always sloppy.” That sounds dirty, right?

• Peter: “Walter, you were conducting drug trials on children. Don’t make it sound like charity work.”

• Olivia: “Now what? Should we find some more kids to scare?”

• Joshua Jackson looks better. I’m glad he’s gotten over his flu.

• Lab guy: “Yeah, yeah. Raiders of the Lost Ark. The idol and the bag of sand.”
Peter: “Not the metaphor I would have chosen. But, yeah.”

• Broyles: “There are times when the only choices you have left are bad ones.”

• Peter: “In fact, it would be my preference if you could be some place else all together.”


The Bad:

• The alterna-verse has a coffee shortage. I’m so grateful that I live in this reality.

• The experiment school in Jacksonville had a white blackboard and black chalk.

• The bad guy’s name is Newton. I don’t think I noticed that until this episode.

• Walter seemed to know that 9/11 would be different over there. But he was in St. Claire’s in 2001, so how would he know? Does this relate to his (still) un-addressed journey with the Observer at the end of Season One?


Probably Just Some Byproduct of Global Warming:

• Y’know. Like earthquakes.

• “A quantum tectonic event.”

• I don’t understand how such high-minded sciency stuff can be so dependent on Olivia re-gaining her traumatic childhood memories. Is it because people are the variables?

• An unscheduled controlled demolition? What a hilarious cover story. It reminded me of “Gas leak. PCP.” on Buffy.

• Olivia’s eye-opening shot, especially when segued into her looking straight up into a cluster of narrow trees, was very, very Lost. This whole episode was very Lost. I’m resistant to over-thinking the postmodern significance of a chain of empty alterna-signifiers in J.J. Abrams-created shows, so I’m just going to ask that we keep Lost information out of the Fringe comments, and vice versa, so we don’t ruin anything for anyone.


3.7 out of four all-expenses-paid trips to NYC.

(Season Two, Episode Fifteen)

Read full post.

Lost: LA X

Ben: "You're the monster."
Locke: "Let's not resort to name calling."

Two timelines, no waiting. This episode was so wild and crazy that I was almost thankful for the commercials so that my brain could at least try to keep up. I said, almost.

Island Stuff

At first I thought Jack was dreaming. And then I thought of multiverses, a theory that has always felt like bull to me. But I finally decided that the Island stuff is real, because it's a continuation of the story we've been hooked on for the past five years. And the 815-never-crashed alternate timeline is... well, I haven't figured that out yet. In "The Incident," Jacob said, "It only ends once." This will all end. There will be a final battle, with our Losties versus the Nemesis, whom I think I should call the Man in Black now. Dan thinks that once the Island stuff is resolved, the timelines will converge and the Losties will get their lives back. Interesting theory.

The bomb going off clearly tossed the Losties back to 2007, since the debris was from the hatch explosion that Locke caused at the end of season two and Juliet was near the surface. The first thing Juliet said was, "It didn't work." After she died, Miles said that she said, "It worked." So which was it? Did Juliet change her mind in the afterlife? When Miles was "reading" the dead Juliet, we could hear Monster-related sounds, which just freaked me out a bit.

Dead is dead, but Sayid isn't dead. I thought it was touching that Sayid was convinced he was going to Hell, and resigned to it. What is he now? Will he turn evil, like I assume Ben did after his childhood encounter with the spring in the Temple? Or did Jacob take over Sayid's dead body, like the Man in Black took Locke's? Did the Man in Black choose Locke as his vessel because Locke was the first one Jacob touched that died?

Why did the Man in Black kill everyone under the Foot but Ben? Maybe he wants to use him again for something... or maybe Ben is protected because he was once healed by the spring? I wonder which side Ben will end up on? Wouldn't it be cool if Ben became one of the good guys?

"815 never crashed" Stuff

There was something about the 815 story that felt like the sympathetic magic they used to recreate the crash on flight 316. Like Charlie nearly dying, like he did on the Island, and Jack bringing him back *again*. Like the pen Jack asked for, which was what Boone did on the beach. (Kate lifted the pen to pick the lock on her handcuffs.) The marshal was bonked on the head again. I was particularly intrigued by the inexplicable disappearance of Christian's coffin and Locke's suitcase full of knives.

It was so much fun to see the cast back on the plane, but different; it was the gift that kept on giving. Bernard making it back to his seat. Doc Arzt asking Hurley how he got rich, and Sawyer trying to protect Hurley (or thinking about conning him). Boone and Locke connecting, just the way they did on the Island. Jack and Sawyer both attracted to Kate. And how about Jack and Locke connecting over their "lost luggage"? I can't believe I never put Jack (spinal surgeon) and Locke (paraplegic) together in my head before. Jack is going to heal Locke, isn't he? How logical.

What was with Desmond? It didn't feel like he was real. Of course, we all know Desmond wasn't on 815, but it wasn't just that. Hurley as the luckiest guy in the world was really interesting, too; it certainly implied that the numbers were indeed cursed. And why was there blood on Jack's neck?

The creepiest thing was that shot of the Island underwater. Is that going to be the end of the series, with the Man in Black defeated, the Island gone like Atlantis, and everyone going back to their lives?

Yes, I'm confused, but I'm used to being confused by Lost. It feels like we're going to find out what's going on, though, and it will all be resolved and it will even make sense. It just occurred to me that I've never even thought about how I want this series to end. It's weird that I don't know what I want. Other than to get the answers to absolutely freaking everything, of course.

Since we're supposed to get all the answers this season... voila! A new section!

What have we learned?

-- The Man in Black, who is using a simulacrum of Locke's body, is also the Smoke Monster. And he seems to be invulnerable, if you go by the smushed bullet we saw.

-- The gray ash stuff protects you from the Man in Black. Which explains why it surrounded the cabin, and why they were pouring it around the Temple.

-- Ilana, Bram and friends were Jacob's bodyguards. Heck of a job, Brownie.

-- Jacob's ghost wasn't like the Walking Dead; he was still Jacob. And only Hurley could see him. I thought that was interesting.

Who brings a book into a cave?

-- On the plane, Rose was reading the Weekly Woodman. Weekly Woodman??? On the back cover was an obvious tribute to The X-Files: a flying saucer, "The Truth is out there," and an ad for Morley cigarettes. I hope that doesn't mean that the answers to everything are going to be a mish-mosh conglomeration made up after the fact. Maybe it was just subliminal reassurance that we'll eventually get the answers.

-- Desmond was reading Salmon Rushdie. Didn't catch the title. If you know, please post a comment! Yes, I could go search for other reviews, but I never do that.

-- The book that fell out of Montand's pack was a French translation of Soren Kierkegaard's Fear and Trembling. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fear_and_Trembling) It was originally published under the name "John the Silent", and wow, what a great Lost reference considering John is now dead. And it's a philosophical work centered around the sacrifice of Isaac as a test of faith in God. Jeez Louise. Lost is back.

Character bits:

-- Juliet's death in this episode didn't upset me as much as what I *thought* was her death in "The Incident." Maybe the "815-never-crashed" stuff made it feel unreal.

-- Juliet said she wanted to save Sawyer from the Island. She was wrong, though. The Island made Sawyer the good person she fell in love with.

-- In love triangle news (guess it's a triangle again with Juliet gone), Jack and Sawyer were both lying there unconscious, and Kate immediately went to Jack. Sawyer said he'd kill Jack, but later told Kate he wouldn't. I don't know... Sawyer kept his word twice about killing people, didn't he? (Cooper and Tom.)

-- The Man in Black said that Locke's final thought at the moment of his death was, "I don't understand," and that he was the only one of the Losties who knew how pathetic his life was. That's truly sad. I hope Locke gets another chance.

-- We heard Greg Grunberg's voice as Captain Norris, but didn't see him.

-- In the alt timeline, Shannon didn't leave Australia with Boone.

-- Charlie was arrested and left with his guitar case.

-- Did Sun plant the money in Jin's suitcase so that he would get arrested? And did Sun ever learn to speak English, or was she lying about it?

-- Cindy the flight attendant is apparently some kind of high priestess now.

-- We only caught a glimpse of Claire in the cab Kate hijacked at LAX, and only a head shot. Was she pregnant?

-- Who was the Temple leader, the guy who knew English but wouldn't speak it? What language was he speaking? And who was his buddy with the glasses (who was played by yet another Deadwood actor)? Names would be nice.

Bits and pieces:

-- The Island scenes began with a close-up of Kate's right eye. Kate has never gotten an eye scene before. http://www.billiedoux.com/losteyes.html

-- Jeremy Davies and Elizabeth Mitchell (*sob*) are out of the cast, and Nestor Carbonell, Emilie de Ravin, Jeff Fahey and Zuleikha Robinson are in. I assume Elizabeth Mitchell would have survived the blast and stayed in the cast if she hadn't gotten the lead in V, because the producers of this show are not fools.

-- The Dharma van came along to 2007 with the Losties, possibly because they were touching it. And they managed to retain their clothes. (I'm fondly remembering Desmond wandering around naked after the Hatch explosion.)

-- Great payoff for the guitar case. Loved the huge ankh and the message inside of it.

-- The healing spring still worked on Sayid, but it apparently changed color when Jacob died.

-- St. Sebastian Hospital is located at 8444 Wilshire Blvd, Los Angeles, 90025. 310 area code, although I could swear it used to be 323.

-- This week's Most Obvious Symbolism may have been Charlie choking on his drugs. There are other candidates, though.

-- Red seems to be the fashion statement of choice at the Temple. Interesting that Hurley was already wearing red under his Dharma coveralls.

-- There was no effort to recreate hairstyles from the pilot, and I'm certain some of the clothes were different. Why not, considering it was a different timeline.

Quotes:

Bernard: "Remind me to hold it next time, will you?" Seeing Bernard actually come back from the bathroom was a little thing, but such fun.

Sawyer: "What do you say, Doc? Got another great idea to save Sayid? Maybe there's another nuke laying around."

Boone (to Locke): "This thing goes down, I'm sticking with you."

Juliet: "We could get coffee some time. We could go Dutch." Okay, that's what I want in the final episode: Sawyer and Juliet meeting for the first time and going for coffee.

Juliet: "Kiss me."
Sawyer: "You got it, Blondie."
I think that was the only nickname in this episode.

Charlie: "I was supposed to die."
How incredibly creepy.

Sawyer: "What's a 341?"
TSA agent: "That's confidential, sir."
Sawyer: "Well, if it's confidential, how the hell am I supposed to know if I see one?"
That was fun, since Sawyer was very aware that he was standing in front of the 341.

Sawyer: "We got caught by the others again?"
Kate: "Yeah. Only this time they're protecting us."

Locke: "Hope you find that coffin."
Jack: "Hope you find your knives."

Locke: "Hello, Richard. It's good to see you out of those chains." Was Richard a slave on the Black Rock?

I'm not exactly sure what happened, but it was awesome. Four out of four polar bears,

Billie

All of my Lost reviews are archived here.
Screencap credit: LostMedia
(Season 6, episode 1. And possibly 2.)

Read full post.

Chuck: Chuck versus the Nacho Sampler

“I’m a spy.”

Chuck’s gone Dark Knight. He’s not the flubby schmuck who drops stuff when a beautiful woman walks into the BuyMore and hasn’t had a date in a year. He’s a stone-cold liar who burns his assets and tranqs with impunity. Awesome—and even Sarah—are stunned, and not in a good way, by Chuck’s move towards the dark side of the force.


I absolutely loved this episode. Chuck sees what must be done, and he does it, even though he seems to regret it. He’s taking the spy games more seriously, and doesn’t even blink when he has to lie to Ellie. As a big sister myself, I wish he would tell Ellie what’s going on, but I see how he wants to keep her and Awesome safe from the perils of WitProSec. On the other hand, lying to Ellie is deception numero uno.

The second deception is Morgan, who, it turns out, has suspected something for a while now. When Morgan finally got confirmation that something was going on with his friend, he immediately lost sight of the pretty Anna-replacement to focus on his friend. Morgan and Ellie, with their Guys Friday Lester and Jeff, have a mission of their own: to figure out what’s going on. Given Jeffster’s rather remarkable data-retrieval and analysis skills, Chuck is in for a bumpy ride. (No Yikes! section this week, but it’s definitely creepy, what Jeffster is doing.)

Deception number three is Chuck’s burning of Minoush, who’s basically an even-geekier Chuck version 1.0. The key difference is that Minoush didn’t have anyone’s best interest in mind: he was out to make a not-so-honest buck via a cool pair of Intersect-glasses. At least Chuck was concerned about keeping Minoush from the Ring, but he more-or-less quickly sacrificed him to the purgatory of a secure containment facility. I hope Minoush comes back at some point, maybe to assist Chuck in an off-the-books op. And I hope he brings a new pair of glasses.

And the final deception is Chuck’s betrayal of who he is, or at least who he used to be—which is also a betrayal of Sarah. Sarah liked him because he was innocent, back in the day, but he has very little compunction about stomping his own attachments into the dirt for “the greater good.” Sarah kept telling Casey that Chuck wasn’t ready, but really she wasn’t ready for him to be a spy: she doesn’t want Bryce Larkin, she wants Chuck Bartowski. Chuck the nice guy, not Chuck the spy.

This week we went to Dubai, which fascinates me even when it’s not the host of Weap-Con. That convention is one I just might spend big bucks on, just to see the amoral glee of tyrants and small (and large) arms dealers at watching demonstrations of violence. Casey loves this stuff, and Chuck is starting to love it too: they both bought trinkets, and Chuck took Casey’s advice about the scotch. Casey even gave Chuck a pat on the back. That is dark.

Bytes (so many, it’s more like megabytes):

• Chuck: “Lester, Jeff: two of our finest members of the BuyMoron staff.”

• Lester: “May the best stalker win.”

• Casey: “One ‘mish’ does not an agent make.”

• Chuck: “Is that a Burbankian accent I detect? Your eyes are hypnotic. Chestnut, hazel? Call me!”

• Awesome: “I pulled a hammy, I’ll have you know.” Do people actually have nicknames for their muscles?

• Chuck: “Yogurt, most important meal of the day.”

• Jeff: “It’s my constitutional right to fornicate.”

• Lester: “Next hire, I want you to find me a wife. A woman of color, preferably Padma Lashki.”

• Lester: “Consider her stalked.”

• Casey: “You hadn’t had a date in over a year, and they don’t waste the blondes on just anyone.”

• Casey: “Great, two geeks in a pod.”

• Casey: “Nice job, Walker. Another geek bites the dust.”

• Minoush: “Ladies, gentlemen, warlords, sheiks, and Huns. I see some Huns back there, don’t I?”

• Minoush: “At this time yesterday I was a pathetic weakling.”

• Chuck: “Intercourse?”

• Salesman: “As you can see, many of our products are ideally suited for resolving these types of hostage situations.”

• Casey: “Just like Bartowski. Bring a knife to a gun fight.” That’s an homage to The Untouchables, one of the best lines in cinematic history.

• Awesome: “You have to obey me! I think that was in our vows!”

• Morgan: “Are you suggesting Chuck is caught in a big scary web of conspiracy and deception?...Because I couldn’t agree more.”

…And Pieces:

• No Superman this week. He was off-grid.

• But we did get some Y: The Last Man. Bryan K. Vaughn, you get more shout-outs than Alan Moore!

• I want that Frak Off t-shirt so very much.

• More pseudo-‘Knights of Cydonia’ score this week. Still weird.

• The tranq-gun sequence with Minoush was hilarious.

• Chuck’s cheesy thumbs-up, and Sarah’s look of ironic happiness, at Casey’s own joy about being able to write off Weap-Con as a business expense.

• As many of you detected in my review last week, I have never seen Smallville. But I’m liking this Hannah character, and I especially like that she’s not the only speed-bump on Chuck and Sarah’s current road.

• The French Legionnaires.

• Josh Schwartz, one of the creators of Chuck, invented Ultimate Frisbee when he was in college. So I saw that nacho-platter thing coming at least 30 seconds before it happened.

• Lester and Jeff thinking that Morgan had finally admitted his secret lust for Chuck.

Four out of four Vicky Vales. Vicky-vicky vale.

(Season Three, Episode Six)

Read full post.

Fringe: The Bishop Revival

“All of Hitler’s dreams in one little toxin.”

I love a good Nazi thriller as much as the next person. Valkyrie was a great movie. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade was even better. I even liked the Angel episode “Why We Fight,” and didn’t hate that FlashForward episode with the old Nazi guy. But this episode didn’t work for me at all. Here’s why.


It took the Fringe Division an awfully long time to realize that the Master Race was the goal of a toxin that could be modified to kill people based on a specific genetic profile. I pretty much figured that out at the wedding massacre. In fact, this episode telegraphed most of the reveals early one: the Hilter-hairstyle and old-fashioned wire-rims on the guy at the wedding clued me in to Nazis right away.

Many episodes have dealt with Walter’s past sins being visited upon the present Fringe Division. Bringing Walter’s dad into the mix felt like a Cousin Oliver-style family connection. I feel like the writer’s room conversation must have gone something like this: We need a Bishop to have been a Nazi double-agent! Why? Because family connections add to the suspense! How? Because they just do! Really? It’s a standalone—just roll with it!

The mini-plot of Walter’s old books was both impossible (really, they tracked down used and re-sold books in an afternoon?) and a dead-end. It gave Walter and Peter a chance to butt heads, and Walter’s anger towards Peter was interesting. But the whole scenario suffered from too much explanation: Peter spelled out his motivations and regrets to Olivia, and Walter just had to say that family means more to him than anything. Family is, of course, our Theme of the Week.

This episode didn’t trust us to figure anything out on our own: in fact, it assumed that we were just mindless automata who stare at screens in dark rooms. Everything was explained, including the Key Character Insights ™. It’s impossible for me not to compare this to Supernatural, my new favorite show: on SPN, the writers trust the actors to convey information without making them state it out loud. Doing so makes the whole thing feel vibrant and messy and alive and real.

I know I’ve been awfully down on Fringe lately, and I’m not the only one. The ratings aren’t doing great—although they’re not awful—and interviewers have begun to ask Abrams, Orci, Kutzman, and Pinker about whether or not the Season Two finale would work as a series-ender. I am really excited about what I’ve heard about the next episode, as well as the season finale. But these standalones really do vary in quality, and this one in particular felt very half-baked and heavy-handed.


The Good:

• Walter: “Purple never goes out of style.”

• Walter is a Peter/Olivia shipper.

• Walter: “Tall people, short people, fat people, skinny people.” One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish. And now you have a glimpse into how my brain works.

The Bad:

• Peter: “Anaphylactic shock. Maybe they’re all having a reaction to something they ate or drank.” What an awkward bit of exposition, about something most people have probably heard of. Actually, this episode was full of awkward exposition.

• Peter: “What are you telling me? That my grandfather was a Nazi?” Even though Gramps was a good Nazi, working for the Americans, Peter took this news with very little angst.

• Po-mo Artist: “Showing history’s tyrants as regular schmucks.” This made me think of the Wallace Stevens poem "Burghers of Petty Death."

• The mother of the groom at the wedding: she survived the Holocaust, only to be killed by a Nazi on a happy day. And she knew who he was. That’s impossibly tragic.

Fascinating, But Not a Likely Possibility:

• Do chemists really “sign” their work? That’s cool.

• Using great works of literature to smuggle out state secrets was a plot-point on Alias.

• If I bought a book at a used bookstore, and the clerk asked me for my full name and address to keep track of what I’d purchased, I’d run out of that store like a conspiracy theorist on meth.

• Peter: “It must be something hot. A candle, a coffee urn.” I wish I went to conferences glam enough that the coffee was actually hot.

One out of four Cousin Olivers.

(Season Two, Episode Fourteen)

Read full post.

Heroes: The Art of Deception

Claire: “You have to take responsibility.”

Oh, I get where they’re going with this.

Except for the first, every season of Heroes so far has suffered from all the characters making implausible decisions just so their arc could match the volume’s title. Compounding the problem in previous years was the fact the themes were never discussed, only followed. Yes, the third volume was called “Villains” and Peter was acting like a baddie for whatever reason, but what did that say about villainy in general?

“Volume Five: Redemption” is just as convoluted, but it’s got a message: making amends is more than just cleaning up the mess you’ve made. Last week’s episode explored through Hiro what constitutes true redemption. “The Art of Deception” is about the fake kind: the lies we tell others to gain back their respect (Samuel) and the ones we tell ourselves to alleviate our guilt (Sylar). It’s nice to know the writers had a plan this time round.

Samuel a.k.a. The Carnival Machiavelli:
As the volume’s big bad, Samuel was designed to miss redemption by an inch every time. He knows regret but doesn’t care for consequences. In this chapter, rather than face the carnies’ distrust, he had Lydia killed and then framed Noah so they’d have someone else to despise. It’s a testament to the character that I couldn’t tell at first whether he’d orchestrated the whole thing or was being manipulated by his own zealot. Either way would’ve worked, but Samuel’s final confession to Lydia was a spectacular scene, both chilling and heartbreaking, not least because he seemed genuinely sorry.

Having said that, or rather written it, this is a Heroes episode, which means some of the details didn’t quite add up. First of all, if you’re going to frame Noah for raiding the carnival, you might want to avoid shooting his daughter during the attack. It sends mixed messages. Second, here you have an entire community filled with powerful super-beings, and they all start running like headless chickens at the sight of a single shooter? Wow. Just wow.

Matt a.k.a. The Psychic of Amontillado:
Matt’s thread featured two deceptions. The first consisted of Sylar’s denial regarding the source of his evil. The notion that his powers could somehow be to blame was, of course, utter nonsense. Just look at his method for absolution: first, he toyed with Janice; then he demanded Matt put a mental block on his abilities; and when that wasn’t working, he threatened to kill the man’s family. I think it’s safe to assume there’s no redemption in store for Sylar.

The second deception totally caught me off guard. I didn’t think old Parkman had it in him. Convinced of it being the only way to keep Janice and Baby Parkman safe, Matt pretended to help Sylar long enough to trap his psyche into a perpetual nightmare and hide his immortal body behind a brick wall: “Welcome to hell!” Yeah, that sounds about right. It’s too bad Peter had to show up and ruin everything.

Peter a.k.a. The Dumbass:
I’m being hard on Peter, who, of course, meant well, though it’s hard to fathom what on earth he was thinking. The entire subplot consisted of his mother warning him that visions can be deceptive, and then the reckless fool ran off to save Sylar (his brother’s murderer!) based on a few cryptic images. Incidentally, said cryptic images mostly showed Zachary Quinto imitating Peter’s mannerisms (body switch!). Well, that and Emma being unhappy about something, but, you know, what else is new?

Bits and Pieces:
I’m not done listing the inconsistencies in Samuel’s plot thread:

--Noah needs to stop drinking on the job. Some maniac is shooting carnies left and right, including his own target and, come to think of it, his daughter. Two scenes and a commercial break later, he turns around and thinks, “Hey, did I hear gunshots?”

--Where was Lydia’s daughter? I can’t imagine her wanting to be anywhere but at her mother’s side at a time like this.

--This one’s not an inconsistency so much as some random thing that amused me to no end, but the scene in which Stacy answered the phone had such a soap opera feel to it, by which I mean you could tell Ali Larter was holding for editing. Her eyes kept shifting, trying to find some emotion to convey.

Quotes:

Matt: “Are you back inside my head?”
Sylar: “That’s so two months ago.”
And now you know the writers’ approach to continuity.

Noah: “I can handle this. You don’t have to worry about me.”
Lauren: “That’s not an option anymore.”
Hmm. That was fast.

Samuel: “I’m so sorry. I needed a villain, someone worse than me. You gave that to them. Thank you.”

Janice: “Forget what he wants. I’ve worked with monsters like this. He’s broken inside, Matt.”
I hope she wasn’t referring to Pressman, her married gay boss in denial, because that wouldn’t be very PC. In all seriousness, this is more evidence we’re not going to get Cuddly Sylar after all. Woohoo!

Three holds for editing out of four. There was an awful lot of goofiness, but it’s the most interesting Heroes has been in years.

More of me: http://www.thedreamersedge.com/

Read full post.

Heroes: Pass/Fail

Ando: “You are Super-Hiro!”

As its title indicates, “Pass/Fail” is all about being put to the test: Hiro’s resolve was tested in his coma dream; Sylar tested Claire to work out his own issues; Samuel tested Vanessa’s love; and the writers tested our patience with a full hour of action-free talking heads. Given the series’ track record with psychobabble, you can imagine my initial apprehension, but, against all odds, this chapter sold me on its contrived premise and, more importantly, on the prospect of Heroes achieving its own redemption by the end of the volume.

Hiro a.k.a. The Class Clown:
The most effective thread was the trial of Hiro, not least because the character is so earnest he can get away with stating his feelings without it seeming trite. Wheeling out the guest stars of Christmas past, the chapter brought the whole tumor thing to a close with, for once, the right mix of humor and drama. Adam Munroe was a hoot as a literal devil’s advocate prosecuting Hiro for crimes against the space-time continuum, and the swordfight at the end made for a nice change of pace.

More importantly, we finally got a decent explanation of our favorite fanboy’s asinine behavior this season: with his days numbered, Hiro had become so desperate he was willing to do anything to leave his mark, including endangering the very fabric of the universe to fix his legacy. It wasn’t until he admitted his guilt that he was given a second chance, so the lesson here, I think, is that redemption with complete disregard of its consequences is no redemption at all.

Incidentally, this episode makes a strong case that Hiro should never grow up too much. His childlike innocence and unwavering enthusiasm are defining traits, after all, and they even come across as heroic when the stakes are high, such as they were in this episode. The catch is the character really needs darker storylines to contrast his whimsical nature: Hiro is a resourceful optimist, not a man-child, and his adventures should reflect that. I believe this one did.

Claire a.k.a. The Teacher’s Pet:
As Sylar made sure to emphasize on the blackboard (real subtle, Heroes writers), the purpose of Claire’s subplot was to compare how the two characters deal with adversity or, in this case, isolation. Sylar questioned Claire against her will, molested her, and then blamed all his failings on his powers. In contrast, Claire acknowledged her past mistakes, overcame her insecurities, and started a relationship with Gretchen. Once again, it’s all about taking responsibility for your actions.

This means we may not be heading toward Cuddly Sylar after all. What a relief! Actually, I kind of like what they’re doing with the character. The basic idea is that Sylar hates himself to the core but is too selfish to change, so he’s always seeking validation in the worst ways imaginable. The great thing about this take is it provides a single motivation for all his crazy stunts over the years: his collecting powers and eliminating other “specials”, his predilection for role-playing, his eagerness to please parental figures, etc. Sylar is consistently inconsistent because he’s trying to be anyone but himself.

By the way, have I mentioned how much I like Gretchen? I spent half the episode worried she might die. Now, I know a lot of people have complained about the girls hooking up so casually, comparing it to Willow’s more heartfelt journey in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but you know what? That was in 1999, and Claire’s always been more confident in her decisions anyway. I, for one, appreciate how the Heroes Powers That Be handled Claire’s “coming out”: like it’s no big deal.

Samuel a.k.a. The Head Cheerleader’s Older Boyfriend Who Used to Buy Beer for Us but Would Get Insanely Jealous for No Reason and I Stopped Hanging Out with Him When He Tried to Sell Me Drugs Because Apart from the Alcohol Thing I’m Like Totally Straight-Edge and Now I Forgot What We Were Talking About:
Hell hath no fury like a super-powered carnie scorned. Samuel’s courtship of Vanessa was probably the most awkward part of the episode, but it did shed light on key aspects of his personality. His love, it seems, is as genuine as it is suffocating. The problem is that the man can’t tell the difference between what people want and what he wants for them. I suppose his mass-murdering temper doesn’t help either.

Actually, I’m a bit confused about what happened in the end: did Samuel subconsciously set himself up for heartbreak so he’d have an excuse to lash out at baseline humanity, or did he level the town impulsively because he couldn’t contain his rage anymore? The first option paints Samuel as an ambitious demagogue struggling with his conscience; the other implies he’s a well-intentioned man who’s grown too unstable to lead his people. Either way, I’m intrigued.

Bits and Pieces:

--It seems all those time-travelling shenanigans had at least one unforeseen consequence on the space-time continuum: Sylar’s current existential angst is directly linked to what Hiro told him three years ago. Why did it take three years to sink in?

--It’s no one’s fault, as the writers clearly set this up back in the fall, but the earthquake sequence made me uncomfortable. Unfortunate timing.

--It’s a testament to Madeline Zima’s skills as an actress that I’d figured out what was going on with Gretchen in the broom closet just from her inflections.

--For those of you wondering why I’m so attached to Gretchen:
A. She’s funny.
B. Claire could use more people in her life who aren’t morons.
C. Peter is Claire’s uncle. Just saying.

Quotes:
Lots of gems from the trial of Hiro:

Ando: “The defense calls Nakamura Hiro to the stand.”
Hiro: “What? Have you seen Law and Order? That always backfires.”

Mohinder: “I broke a promise to a girl. I need to make amends.”
Seriously? That’s you link to this season’s redemption theme? For heaven’s sake.

Adam: “Who else met their death by your hand after Hiro made this deal?”
Sylar: “Well, there was her, then Eden... Ish. Two Primatech guards, the melty guy, a mechanic, Isaac Mendez, my mother, some guy named Ted... Something. Ted...”
Adam: “And so on and so on. If Hiro was acting out of nobility, perhaps he should have stopped this vicious killer before these countless murders--”
Sylar: “Sprague! Ted Sprague.”

Gretchen: “So Sylar? The Sylar?”
Claire: “Yes. Well, no, kind of the emo apologist version.”

Hiro: “And I found myself leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong.”
Adam: “Objection, Your Honor! He’s reciting the opening to Quantum Leap.”
I laughed out loud at that one.

Claire: “I want to be more like that too and not be beholden to any label or definition of who I’m supposed to be and just... I want to hold your hand.”
Guess who’s not joining the writing staff of The L Word next year.

Three Quantum Leap openings out of four. As usual, a few problems with the execution, but a really impressive attempt to make sense of the series’ previous inconsistencies.

More of me: http://www.thedreamersedge.com/

Read full post.

Dollhouse: Epitaph Two, Return

Adelle: "You're not coming back."
Topher: "Small price to pay. I didn't want to cause any more pain."

Talk about going out with a bang, huh? I'd like to thank Joss Whedon for giving us such a positive ending. I honestly wasn't expecting it.

I almost can't believe how much I disliked Topher in season one; his death was so tragic. He literally couldn't live with what he'd done, so he took himself out as he fixed it. (I also thought it was lovely that the last thing he saw was the Battlestar remembrance wall.) Solid gold acting stars for Fran Kranz, not only for this episode but for the entire second season. Ditto for Olivia Williams. The tender way Adelle treated him, the things they said when they said goodbye, so moving. She loved him, and I don't mean in a romantic way.

Speaking of romantic, Paul's death got to me. Echo sobbing out her grief to Priya got to me, too -- and when she took his imprint inside of herself, I cried. Paul pointed out that Echo was a hundred people, but she was always alone. Now she has Paul inside of her, forever. That was actually more romantic (in a cool, sad way) than Tony and Priya living happily ever after.

I was proud of Tony for choosing to fight and to make a literal tech head of himself, even though it cost him years with Priya and their son. That happy ending was well-deserved. That Mad Max look with the tatts, ripped fatigues, and flash drives was a good one for him. Could someone please cast Enver Gjokaj in something cool right the hell now?

When they first started talking about what "the pulse" would do, I thought it would mean that all of our imprinted characters would lose everything they had become in order to save the world. Since there was nothing left of Paul but an imprint, I thought he would lose even more, and end up a vegetable. I'm glad the story didn't go that way, even though it would have been dramatically sound. A dramatically sound bummer.

The casting was a Whedonfest, and we even got a virtual mini-Firefly reunion. I loved that it was Alpha who left Paul's wedge on the Chair for Echo. I was a bit confused about how Alpha became a freedom fighter, even though it was referred to in "Epitaph One." What did I miss? Did he just evolve because of the multiple imprints?

Lots of symbolism, of course. The strawberries in their garden were a symbol of life and rebirth. I think my favorite was Tony and little Tony burning tech in a campfire together. I loved that the Dollhouse replaced their farm house and became their safe haven, the only way to retain their real selves and important memories. And the ending, with Echo going to sleep in an open, uncovered pod, was lovely. Pretty much said it all.

I'm so glad we got a second season. Yes, a lot happened in these past few episodes and it was rushed; it would have been better if there had been more time for the story to play out. But how could anyone complain about this finale? It was beautifully written and acted, satisfying and meaningful. I loved it.

Bits:

-- One good thing about Dollhouse was that they could literally get anyone to play Harding if Keith Carradine wasn't available. Or even if he was.

-- I'm glad that Mag and Zone made it. And Adair Tishler did a lovely job again, this time as mini-Caroline. I particularly liked her telling Paul that Caroline loved it when he was corny.

-- I'm sort of sorry that we didn't get to see Amy Acker one last time, although this episode was full enough. Ditto Reed Diamond. At least we saw Summer Glau one more time, and Bennett was the one who gave Topher the final answer he needed.

-- Loved the firefight with the freeze frames and the flashing light. There was music evocative of Battlestar Galactica when Paul was killed. I don't know if it was deliberate, but it was a nice detail.

-- If you didn't see it, "Epitaph One" is on the final disc of the season one DVD set. Here's my review.

Quotes:

Iris/Caroline: "Last time I was up here, it wasn't this bad. And I could see over the dash."

Zone: "And you didn't think to mention that Safe Haven was parked right next door to the freaking Death Star?"

Topher: "Reflection. Like an echo. Put things back the way they were, minds back the way they were. I can bring back the world." Nice symmetry, calling it an echo.

Echo: "Thanks for the insight, mini-me."

Paul: "This is where it gets interesting."
Mag: "It was dull?"

Paul: "I've been knocking ten years. You still won't let me in."
Echo: "I let you in a few times."
Paul: "When you were sure we were going to die. What happens if you're sure we're going to live?"

Adelle: "I'm very glad you didn't clean up."
Alpha: "No, it spoke to the schizophrenic in me. Both of them, actually."

Fabulous series finale. I only wish it had been longer. Four out of four stars,

Billie

All of my Dollhouse reviews are archived here.
(Season 2, episode 13)

Read full post.

Supernatural: Swap Meat

Dean: "Okay, who are you and what have you done with Sam?"

Supernatural Lite. I thought it would get darker than it did, possibly with a teen massacre at the end. Instead, Gary and Nora Learned a Valuable Lesson and just might live happily ever after; only their nasty friend got smushed.

Lovely performance by Jared Padalecki as Sam *and* as Gary. He was just terrific in the opening scene with the booze and the pick-up. And I particularly liked how Sam just accepted the situation and asked everyone about himself, no matter how weird it sounded. (Like "Where's my locker?" "Have I been carrying around a big weird book?") It took longer for Dean to catch on than I expected, but that was probably because Gary was acting the way Dean has always wanted Sam to act. Definitely a theme that has been explored several times before, and rather sad.

Sam's admission that he no longer wants a life like Gary's was also sad, since Gary was a lot like Sam used to be. (A bit nerdier, and Sam would never have played around with demonology, but still.) And don't you think Gary would have made an excellent hunter? Very smart, great with the research, and he caught on and burned the bones fast enough to save Dean. Not to mention Dean and Gary tag-teaming the Latin as they exorcised the demon out of Nora.

So there's a demon bounty on Dean. Nice touch. It certainly made more sense than three teenagers dabbling in the dark arts stumbling on Dean and Sam by accident. And when the demon told Gary that she wanted him to meet Lucifer and say yes to his question, I wondered if this episode might be set-up for how Lucifer acquires Sam's body in Detroit. Does someone else say yes? The Trojan horse idea was supposedly Gary's, but was it really? Are demons recruiting bodynappers all over the country?

Bits and pieces:

-- Speaking of good performances, Colton James (Gary) did a great job channeling Tom Hanks in Big. And Sarah Drew (Nora) was terrific as the demon. Which demon was it? Was it one we know? They never said.

-- No Castiel this week. He probably would have known Sam wasn't Sam immediately, so that was convenient for the plot.

-- How did the Impala survive that collision with the dumpster without a scratch? A stop for body work would have put a crimp in the action, though.

-- This week: Housatonic, Massachusetts. The motels were the Lucky Star Motor Inn and the Cloverleaf on Route Six. Was that intentional, maybe in a "they were lucky this time" sense?

-- I also liked that they were helping out one of their old babysitters instead of a stranger. Sam was in sixth grade when they stayed with her. But wasn't John leaving them alone when they were that age?

Quotes:

Gary: "A banana daiquiri, my good man."

Crystal: "Gary, I don't want to embarrass you, but you are just... you are just a stunning looking man."
Gary: "I know."

Sam: "Wait. Guys, plural?"
Desk clerk: "Yeah. One leather jacket, one Sasquatch."

Sam: (picks up Advanced Placement Physics) "Smart kid." (picks up Star Wars tee shirt) "Virgin." (picks up Busty Asian Beauties) "Frustrated virgin."

Gary: "Why shouldn't I be happy? I got a gun, I'm getting drunk, and I look like this."

Nora/Demon: "Yum. Tastes like moron."

Sam: "It's your life. You don't like their plan for you, tell them to cram it. Rebel a little bit. In a healthy, non-satanic way, of course."

Three out of four banana daiquiris,

Billie

All of my Supernatural reviews are archived here.
(Season 5, episode 12)

Read full post.

Smallville: Disciple

Chloe: "Think like the CIA, with arrows and plaid skirts."

So we had an episode theme and everything -- heroes and their dark sides.

With Oliver, we got a bit of cool bad guy stuff from his past, with a scarred up dark archer and a secret society and a great big (and unsurprising) revelation that Oliver isn't going to go dark side, after all. Even though I never believed they'd die, I was creeped out by Lois *and* Chloe getting shot with arrows. I thought for a moment that Mia had been introduced in "Crossfire" just so that she could become toast in this episode, but no. I'm not sure how I feel about Mia yet, but I'm fine with her sticking around for awhile.

Zod is, of course, the extreme dark side of Clark's Kryptonian heritage. Just like the dark archer, Zod was moving in on Clark's loved one; Zod flirting with Lois in the hospital rather creeped me out, too.

And then there's Chloe. I've always liked Chloe; she's sort of the Willow of Smallville. She has become so dark this season; even her voice has gotten lower, signifying a possible descent into evil. Clark helpfully pointed out to the audience how removed from real life Chloe has gotten in her Watchtower, and she's definitely crossed the line lately manipulating her friends via remote control. Is Chloe turning into Smallville's version of Dark Willow? I never thought they'd go there, but it sure feels that way.

Loved the very tall, cool-looking Celtic maze. (For a moment, I thought Oliver and his "master" were going to have a bow and arrow duel at twenty paces or something.) Loved seeing Lois and Clark actually dating, and Clark counting PDA.

Plus -- no Tess!

Not a keeper, but not a bad episode at all.

All of my Smallville reviews are archived here.
Photo credit: Kryptonsite.
(Season 9, episode 10)

Read full post.

Chuck: Chuck versus First Class

“I think we can all agree this team has been dysfunctional for the past two years.”

Shaw feels like a real spy. None of that namby-pamby feel-good silliness: he’s cold, he’s forthright, and he’s concerned with information—knowing who knows what, and how to get more. Shaw makes this show feel like it has stakes: not just dead-wife stakes, but actual spy-stakes.


Chuck is starting to feel like more of a real spy, too. On his first solo mission he was confronted with his first non-Sarah spy-problem: he had to sacrifice a romantic night in Paris with a beautiful woman because the job demanded that he return to Burbank. Sure, it’s the same ol’ problem of spy life vs. real life, but this felt different. Unless, of course, Hannah turns out to be a secret evil operative like Jill.

Steve Austin didn’t feel much like a real spy. He felt like stone-cold stunt casting. But it was funny. The plane-plot was a nice change of scenery, too: tiny, but not so tiny, and a good excuse to force Chuck to complete his mission without on-site assistance. And it was cute to see Chuck excited about the Eiffel Tower, and first class, and meeting a pretty girl.

Back at the BuyMore, Morgan does still need on-site assistance, and Casey went all Angel of Death on the Fight Club gang. Hence the development of the promised “Yikes” section. It’s odd that the BuyMore scenes felt scarier than the plane scenes—as I’ve said before, the spy-stakes never feel too high (although Brandon Routh is helping with that), perhaps because nothing bad ever happens: no civilians get killed, only empty buildings in Barstow are ever destroyed, etc. It’s just pretty spies versus pretty spies, in a quest for better technology. But in the BuyMore, spy tactics are applied to minimum-wage schmucks who are trying desperately to give meaning to their lives, and it feels a bit like petty tyranny. Funny petty tyranny, but still.

Is it just me, or is Chuck darker this season?

Bytes:

• Chuck: “I’m never going to be able to escape this ridiculous cover…” Is that his goal? But he keeps choosing to be the Intersect. I remain confused about his motivations.

• Casey: “You give me five minutes running this place and we’d be ready.”
Morgan: “Ready for what?”
Chuck: “The Russians.”

• Chuck: “I’m in retail. Of very high-end merchandise. At a very prestigious store.” [Cut to Morgan in the stuffed-animal claw machine.]

• Casey: “Insurgents. I hate insurgents.”

• Chuck: “I’m alive, and I have the key. But unfortunately I did not get to use my nunchucks.”

• Casey: “Bored now.” Great Buffy shout-out.

…And Pieces:

• Chuck ordered his martini shaken instead of stirred.

• Hugo Panzer is a master at close-quarters combat? Do you get some sort of merit badge for that in spy scouts?

• The volleyball incident at the last employee picnic? I want to see that.

• Shaw’s mission control was called “Crystal Palace,” which might be an allusion to the building of the same name that is prominently featured in Nikolai Chernyshevsky’s What Is To Be Done?, a political allegory of nineteenth-century utopias.

• No Ellie or Awesome this week, which I’m pretty sure is a cost-cutting measure.

Yikes:

• I know Jeff is a pathetic loser, but as a former customer-service serf, I’m against assistant managers stealing cups of coffee. Oh, well. Claw-machine karma.

• Chloroform? Abduction? Brainwashing? Plausible deniability? To keep things in line at the BuyMore?



Three out of four roomy reclining seats with complimentary champagne and lobster.

(Season Three, Episode Five)

Read full post.

NewsFlash: A new La Femme Nikita on the CW?

According to my favorite news source, McG may be rebooting La Femme Nikita for the CW. Of course, if it doesn't star Roy Dupuis (and I'm sure it won't, since he's busy making movies), I'm not sure it's worth the trouble. It's always been my impression that the fans want more LFN, but only if it's a movie with Roy and Peta.


Read full post.

NewsFlash: Supernatural web spinoff

According to Variety, McG and Warner Bros. are planning to do three webisodes featuring the satirical ghost-hunting reality show characters, the Ghostfacers, who have been in three episodes of Supernatural. I'm not a fan of the webisode format, but this might be fun.

Read full post.

Buffy season eight: Turbulence

(Hey, are you impressed with how fast I did it for a change?)

Xander: "Cat's out, Dawnie."
Buffy: "And I approve. I'm Buffy, and I approve this kissage."

Synopsis:

On her way back to the temple, Buffy decides to keep her brand new superpowers a secret. The powers -- flying and super strength -- feel right to her, somehow.

Back at the temple, while apologizing to Oz for bringing war to his home, Willow asks him if he has any thoughts about how to get her magic back really fast -- and she gets her magic back really fast as she's slammed with some sort of green sparkly thing. (Green? Is that a hint that it's the snake-woman-thing?) Six of the Wiccans keel over and two of them barf. Willow says she thinks her power surge is fallout from some cataclysmic event that hasn't happened yet.

Willow flies off to see if she can re-bury the goddesses and get everyone's powers back. She doesn't have much success; they bat her around.

Brief check in with Twilight. He has managed to kidnap Giles, Faith and Andrew, who are all unconscious. Twilight knows how important Giles and Faith are to Buffy, but he can't quite remember who Andrew is.

Buffy talks with one of the injured enemy soldiers. He was told if he was captured, the magical enemy would do things to him. Buffy tells him that if they had powers, they would have healed him. She closes the soldier's dead eyes and goes outside with Xander.

Xander is still team Riley; he never wanted Buffy to be with a demon. Buffy tells Xander she's realized it's too late for a relationship with him and she knows he's with Dawn. Xander, in a surprising bout of maturity, makes Buffy acknowledge that she never went for him when he was available and that it wasn't a coincidence that she brought this up right after seeing him with Dawn. Buffy and Xander make up and decide to be cool about it, just as Dawn shows up, and Buffy gives the two of them her blessing.

Willow checks in (via astral smoky glowing face) to say she can't handle the goddesses, her magic bounces off them. Buffy tells her not to worry about it, to just go dig a great big hole. Xander, Dawn and Kennedy follow Buffy outside the temple, wondering out loud what Buffy can possibly do about the goddesses.

Buffy takes off up into the sky (hey, her powers weren't secret for long) and flies to where Willow has dug a huge hole, as instructed. Buffy grabs each giant goddess and whacks her down into the hole, and Willow uses her magic to bury them. The goddesses are now back where they came from.

The last few panels are Willow saying that she can feel Buffy's new powers didn't come from the same place that Willow's did. Buffy tells Willow about Xander and Dawn, and Willow says, "Gah. I thought they'd never figure that out."

Review:

Sad to say, this eensy standalone was much better than all four parts of "Retreat." And that was because the characters were all talking and acting like Buffy characters (yes, Joss Whedon wrote it). I sort of reconnected again, in spite of myself. It helps a bit that I just finished reviewing the last four issues; I didn't have time to completely forget everything between issues, which is what I usually do. Have I mentioned how much I'm sooo not into the comic book medium? I have? Several times? Ah, yes.

Buffy has superpowers now, and the other slayers have nothing. This is interesting. It's sort of a season one reset where there's only one powerful slayer in the world. And Willow got her powers back, too (sounds like they might have gotten sucked out of the other Wiccans), so she's still on the road to self-destruction. Interesting that Willow was unable to defeat the goddesses, but Buffy could. Is Buffy now more powerful than Willow?

Part of me is really bothered by the fact that Willow and Buffy can both fly now. It's taking the story even further away from the television series, where everyone was a lot more human and easier to relate to.

I sort of don't know what to say about Xander and Dawn as a couple that doesn't involve a lot of involuntary gagging. I did like that they addressed the many, many hints that Buffy was starting to see Xander as a love interest, though (and to be fair, that happened before she saw him with Dawn). I guess the only good part of this is that every woman Xander has fallen for has died horribly. There were hints that Buffy might go back to injured, faithful, gave-everything-for-the-cause Riley. And no. I'm still waiting for Spike, of course.

Twilight has Giles, Faith and Andrew, and Buffy hasn't even noticed. Sure, she's been busy leading a battle and burying giant goddesses and acquiring superpowers, but still.

Bits and pieces:

-- Bay will recover. That's nice for Oz. Now if only everyone would just get the hell out of Tibet and leave them alone, huh?

-- When Buffy gave Xander and Dawn her blessing, so to speak, Dawn said she didn't ask for it. Good for Dawn.

-- Dawn was wearing a shirt with the number 18 on it, reminding me of season six when we were all trying to figure out why people were wearing numbers on their outfits.

-- This issue's Most Obvious Symbolism was probably the fact that Buffy and Willow just buried goddesses.

Quotes:

Willow: "We brought war to a place of peace."
Oz: "It's Tibet, Will. You're not the first."

Buffy: "I'm like General Custer with long blond hair."
Riley: "General Custer *had* long blond hair."
Buffy: "So we *are* dumber."

Buffy: "That's what Riley said."
Xander: "Well, he's a brainy guy. Plus he's dangling steel working inside Twilight's camp."
Buffy: "Since when are you such a fanboy?"
Xander: "Your one boyfriend who wasn't a psychotic demon? I was always team Riley."

Buffy: "I'm too late again, aren't I?"
Xander: "For what?"
Buffy: "For you."
Xander: "Whotothe howtothe hammina?"
Buffy: "You and Dawn."
Xander: "Oh, is that a conversation that's happening?"
Buffy: "No, it's fine. Dawn's a grown woman, and you're a disgusting pedophile."
Xander: "Whoa!"
Buffy: "Cradle robber? Come on! I at *least* get cradle robber..."

Xander: "Hey, that's a big deal! I'm a potential romantic interest! I'm on the list -- right after being gay. I rate almost as good as trying to change your sexual orientation. You went -- through gay -- to me."
Buffy: "I was having a phase! I'm *supposed* to have that phase!"
So that must be Joss Whedon's answer to everyone wondering how come previously totally straight Buffy suddenly jumped in bed with a woman.

Dawn: "Uh, cough. Noise of cough."
Xander: "Hey Dawnie, we--"
Buffy: "Nothing! Friend hug! Because of sad. No subtle bosom-pressing in hug."
Dawn: "Buffy, I'm your sister. I know you could never do anything subtle."

Buffy: "Cool giant astral head."
Willow: "Are my nostrils, like, huge?"

Xander: "It's a nuke."
Kennedy: "You're a dyke."
Dawn: "You sacrifice a 'key'."

Three out of four flying slayers,

Billie

All of my Buffy reviews are archived here.
(Season eight comics, issue 31)

Read full post.

Heroes: Close to You

Hiro: “Uh-oh. Nap time for Sancho.”

I know how Sancho feels. It’s ironic, really. In the last couple years, my biggest qualm with Heroes has been its frantic pace, which gave the characters so little time to experience every twist and turn that the whole shebang ended up feeling arbitrary. To their credit, the writers have gone to considerable lengths to address the issue in this volume, but I’m now wondering if the pendulum hasn’t swung too far in the other direction.

Nothing much happened in this episode, or rather nothing much of consequence. Yes, I know: Samuel kidnapped his beloved Vanessa; Mohinder escaped the mental institution; and Peter got to smash a cello. However, I’m not getting any sense of momentum here. It’s all pointless running around, which might still have been fun if not for all the whining and hackneyed psychobabble. I mean, people complain about Claire, but have you met her dad?

Matt a.k.a. The Psychic Family Guy:
I was surprised to see Matt again, since he’d already got his redemption when he sacrificed his life to stop Sylar’s displaced psyche. Sure, the guy failed, but it’s the thought that counts, right? Well, no. Now Matt feels guilty for coming back to his family instead of chasing after Sylar, so he’s looking to be redeemed all over again. It’s consistent with the character, I suppose, but the whole thing feels terribly contrived.

It’s all Noah’s fault at any rate. The self-absorbed jerk lashed out at Lauren, pressured Matt into using his powers unethically, endangered the life of an innocent woman, and inadvertently precipitated Samuel’s evil scheme, all so he wouldn’t have to deal with his angst over Claire not talking to him. How very emo. Then again, I might have considered putting the world at risk too just to avoid Noah’s cringe-inducing apology to his daughter.

Hiro and Ando a.k.a. The Dynamic Doofuses:
You know that guy in the office who keeps throwing punchlines left and right but all the jokes fall flat because he’s trying too hard? That’s how I feel about Hiro and Ando’s subplot, in which they break Mohinder out of his cell and crazy hijinks ensue. Part of the problem, I think, is that Ando was conceived as more of a straight man. As much as I like him, James Kyson Lee doesn’t really do slapstick, at least not very well.

Mind you, the shaky writing doesn’t help either: Hiro kept losing his fanboy speak whenever the plot required it, and the level of security at the mental institution was frustratingly inconsistent. Also, the Heroes Powers That Be don’t seem to know the difference between a psychiatric hospital and a jail. The guard dogs (or, as Hiro called them, “Ewoks”) were extremely unlikely, as was the complete absence of doctors.

Peter a.k.a. This Is Your Cello on Drugs:
This week, Emma is unhappy because Peter obliterated her cello without so much as a, "Hey, how’s it going?" Actually, she’s got a point this time. Would it have killed the man to explain the situation before going Pete Townshend on her instrument? Hey, if some guy I barely knew told me he stole his mom’s psychic ability and saw a terrifying future in which thousands die because I play the cello in front of a mirror, I totally would’ve... Never mind.

What amuses me most, though, is that of all the elements in his vision, Peter chose to focus on the cello. You’d figure Sylar showing up at the end would have been more upsetting to him. It certainly was to me: the last thing I want to see is a cuddly Sylar saving the day just so his character arc can fit the volume’s redemption theme. So convoluted.

Bits and Pieces:

--I quite liked Lidia using her ill-defined powers to seek out a new leader, who, of course, turned out to be Peter. Given the latter spent the first half of the season yammering about finding a purpose, it makes me feel like the writers really do have a plan.

--I’m sure her full name was revealed before, but I just learnt Elizabeth Röhm’s character is called Lauren Gilmore. Is that a reference to Lauren Graham from Gilmore Girls? Is her secret superpower going to be that she can spew out obscure pop culture references at the speed of thought?

--Okay, I’m confused about Ando’s powers. I thought his ability allowed him to supercharge other heroes, which was a cute metaphor for a man whose empowering attitude allowed Hiro to become a better man. Now Ando can short circuit electronic panels, and, get this, cure dementia through single-dose electroshock therapy. I fully expect to find out next week his red lightening can generate a continental breakfast with fresh-squeezed orange juice.

--Never play Guitar Hero with Peter.

Quotes:

Noah: “The Sylar thing was a terrible idea. We all admit that.”
Yes, now stop bringing it up.

Hiro: “Hulk! Grr!”

Mohinder: “Where am I? You put me here!”
Hiro: “To be continued.”

Angela: “People think that dreaming the future is a gift; they’re wrong.”
For a moment, I thought she was going to end that sentence with, “until they get decapitated.”

Janice: “I didn’t think a law office could be such a soap opera. I mean, the human drama of it all! Matt, you remember my boss, Pressman. So he's totally gay; he's totally in denial; and he's totally married...”
Yeah, if I’d been Matt, I’d have stopped listening too.

Noah: “I know what ratatouille is! This woman’s been kidnapped!”
Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve found my new ringtone.

One sleepy Sancho out of four. Too much unintentional comedy, not enough of the other kind.

More of me: http://www.thedreamersedge.com/
Read full post.

Fringe: What Lies Below

“Some things are meant to be left alone, Agent Farnsworth.”

A Dutchman and a bike courier walk into an office. “Nice day,” says the courier. The Dutchman responds by dying, spraying blood on kindly and comely office workers. Turns out, it’s a 75,000 year old virus that is, quite possible, responsible for the extinction not just of one Dutchman, but all of the Ice Age animals, too. No joke, that.


Lately, Fringe has upped the ante by putting Peter, then Walter, then Peter (rinse and repeat) in peril. This week, imperiled Peter was overcome with a virus that made us of his in-born trickery to attempt to sneak out of the building to finish the job it failed to do back in the woolly mammoth days.

Walter saved the day with some horseradish and a handy Astrid. Props to Astrid for choosing to stick with Walter: I suspect that the Fringe Division (especially Walter himself) might be her family—the people we turn to when we need someone to turn to. Family is our Theme of the Week, too: Olivia didn’t want to further traumatize her sister with more Fringe-drama, but she was willing to risk her life to save those of Walter, Astrid, and Peter. I was surprised that Peter didn’t “overcome” the virus when he faced down Olivia, but it did make for a nice family gathering at the episode’s end.

The suspense worked for me this week, even though I knew that our major players wouldn’t die. I think it was Giacchino’s score, again: moody, plaintive, but just fast-paced enough that it got my heart racing. That man deserves his Emmy, and many more.

Zero mythology this week, unless you count the revelation that Astrid is willing to die to protect Walter and his often-risky love for his son. Astrid seems to be asking the right questions, but she really got shot down by Walter: he even called her “Agent Farnsworth” instead of some variation of Asterix to tell her not to ask the tough questions about Peter. She may consider him family (and refused to leave him alone), but his first duty is always to Peter. It’s an interesting emotional plot, but I wonder if there’s anyway to incorporate it into the larger narrative. Will she betray him for not loving her? Will he sacrifice her like his lab assistant in days of yore?


The Good:

• Walter: “Now imagine that tonight you look under your bed and lo-and-behold, you find a monster, and you are immediately eaten. Now, if you hadn’t looked for the monster, you wouldn’t have found it, and you would still be happy in your bed instead of being slowly digested in the stomach sac of the creature. But, with any luck, your sisters and your brothers might have heard you scream, and your endeavor would be a lesson for them.” [Note the family thing even here!]

• Walter: “Take me to your centrifuge.”

The Bad:

• Peter looked awful even before he got infected. Is Joshua Jackson not getting enough sleep?

This is Something Else Entirely:

• Dude, that bike messenger was really on the ball.

• The dead Dutchman sprayed blood over a bunch of people, and it took another death for them to start taking contagion precautions?

• Shouldn’t Walter, Astrid, and FBI Guy #3 have been wearing “Level Six” containment suits in the lab? (There is no “Level Six,” that I’m aware of.) And shouldn’t Peter have been quarantined within the quarantine?

• “The virus compelled her to leave the building.”

• No one can reverse-engineer a cure to anything that crazy so quickly, nor can they figure out the ideal delivery method without a single error. Oh, well. Suspension of disbelief is the name of the game.

Yet another strong standalone.

Three out of four jars of horseradish.

(Season Two, Episode Thirteen)

(Thanks to fringebloggers for the screencap.)

Read full post.

Supernatural: Sam, Interrupted

Dean: "You're my shrink? Lucky me."
Dr. Cartwright: "And you're my paranoid schizophrenic with narcissistic personality disorder and religious psychosis. Lucky me."

So if they don't die young, or bring about the end of the world, they'll wind up institutionalized. There's not only no happy ending for the Winchesters; there's *really* no happy ending for the Winchesters.

This was a fairly standard stand-alone episode. The boys got themselves into a deadly situation while trying to take down a monster that wasn't what it first appeared to be. In the course of defeating it, we learned more about how completely screwed the Winchesters are. Which makes it sound like I didn't like this episode. Actually, I did. Although the beginning was better than the end.

I loved the way Dean and Sam got themselves committed by telling the absolute truth about their lives. (My second favorite thing was Sam stoned out of his mind.) They needed to show that the boys have suffered because of the loss of Ellen and Jo, so check that off, they did. A brain-sucking monster was a fitting choice for an asylum. And yes, Sam is a very angry young man; duh, we knew that. We certainly can't have him all normal and coping with his weird life when Lucifer is lurking in the wings literally lusting for Sam's body, now can we?

I'll admit this episode was a bit gloomy for my taste. And it seemed to end too abruptly, with the boys jumping into the Impala while still in their bathrobes. Did they leave their clothes behind along with perfectly good fake IDs? Good thing Dean wasn't wearing his amulet, huh? And what happened to poor Martin? I almost (but not quite) expected that last scene to turn out to be an hallucination, that they killed an innocent nurse thinking she was a monster. But that would have been just too depressing.

The boys really do need therapy. But the thing is, there really are monsters out to get them. They'd have to get a psychotherapist who was a hunter, too. Hunter slash psychotherapist. Now that'd be an interesting human being.

Bits and pieces:

-- Fifty drinks a week just to sleep? Is Dean really drinking that much?

-- Probe through the brain. Eww. Sawing up brains in the Morgue, eww as well. Doesn't anyone do real autopsies in that morgue? Wouldn't they notice the back of that poor guy's head falling off? Of course, the boys would be gone by then.

-- Bits of this made me think they were going to do something like the Buffy episode "Normal Again." As in maybe Dean and Sam really are locked up in an institution somewhere hallucinating the entire series. But no. And I'm sort of relieved.

-- Martin was played by Jon Gries, who (with a lot more hair) played Ben's father on Lost.

-- This week: the Greenwood Springs Psychiatric Hospital in Ketchum, Oklahoma. The paperwork said that "Edward Van Halen" was being committed and his next of kin was his brother Alex... but wasn't Sam the one they were originally committing? Later, everyone was calling Dean "Eddie."

Quotes: (this may not have been the best episode, but it had some great lines)

Doctor: "You were referred to me by a Dr. Babar in Chicago."
Dean: "That's right."
Doctor: "Isn't there a children's book about an elephant named Babar?"
Dean: "I don't know. I don't have any elephant books."

Dean: "How was your Silkwood shower?"

Doctor: "To be frank, the relationship you have with your brother seems dangerously co-dependent. I think a little time apart would do you both good."

Dean: "Quid pro quo, Clarice." Jensen did a great Hannibal Lector fava beans sucky noise.

Sam: "You okay?"
Dean: "I just got thraped. So no, I'm not okay."

Dean: "Crazy works." What was the pudding thing? Did I miss a movie reference?

Dean: "Are those original Gacys?" Ah, yes. Clowns kill.

Dr. Cartwright: "To feel like six billion lives depend on you? How do you get up in the morning?"
Dean: "Good question."

Wendy: "I want him now. He's larger."
I was just thinking that a real fan of the show would have paid a lot to play Wendy.

Dean: "You okay?"
Sam: "No, no. I'm not okay. I. I am *awesome*."
Dean: "They give you something?
Sam: "Oh yeah. They gave me everything. It's spectacu... lacular."
Dean: "You always were a happy drunk."
And yet he's so very angry.

Sam: "It's okay. Because you're my brother, and I still love you. Boop."

Wraith: "You build your own Hell, but I give you the Legos."

Two out of four stars,

Billie

All of my Supernatural reviews are archived here.

(Season 5, episode 11)

Read full post.

Chuck versus Operation Awesome

“What’s it like being a world-class spy?”

Chuck doesn’t usually have a Theme of the Week. But—wow!—this week’s episode was all about duality and foils: the people who bring out own skills and foibles into sharp relief just by being so very different from us. Usually, Awesome is Chuck’s foil because Awesome is suave, financially solvent, together, and the kind of guy you want to bring home to mom. But this week…



Turns out, Awesome is a terrible liar, uncomfortable with violence, overwhelmed by husbandly duty, and not so great under non-cardiac-surgeon pressure. He’s also incredibly trusting: the only reason I would put my life in Chuck’s hands is the knowledge that this show rarely kills bloggers. Basically, Awesome is Chuck, back when he was “scared and new to this.”

Chuck was unwilling, to say the least, to let his brother-in-law in on the spy games: his protectiveness might be the biggest clue we get this week to what’s really going on in Chuck’s head, which is something I’ve been rather shaky on since this season began. He seems to know the risks of spying, and he doesn’t want Devon to lose what really matters in life: family, truthfulness, Ellie.

On the other end of the spectrum, Shaw is no-nonsense, hardcore, and hates vulnerability. He’s willing to shoot himself in the chest to get the job done, and he’s definitely a fan of both tough love and the sink-or-swim pedagogical method. But he knows what he’s missing, too: he was sad about something related to the wedding/engagement ring when he watched Chuck’s family on the cctv. I kept expecting a reveal that he was in love with Angie Harmon, but that didn’t happen.

Meanwhile, the first rule of the BuyMore is that you don’t talk about Fight Club. Instead, you hit people, electrify fences, and wear dated sunglasses. Fight Club (the movie: I haven’t read the book because I don’t want to financially support the brand of angry young manhood that Chuck Palahniuk peddles, although I think the movie is darn cool) is all about the duality within us all that must resolve, violently, into a happy synthesis for us to become actualized revolutionaries. Or something. Anyway: at the BuyMore the staff feels alive for the first time since their bar mitzvahs, and they get their jollies calling Morgan Ass-Man.

Through all of this, Morgan is forced to resolve the complex Hegelian dialectic interplay between his former self and his future, assistant manager self. In other words, he must go from just being a guy to becoming The Man. In a vest.

The score this week was really strange. Parts of it sounded like the great Muse song “Knights of Cydonia,” other parts (especially with Angie Harmon in the BuyMore) sounded like the Terminator theme, and the scene in the CIA penthouse office sounded a bit like the Usual Suspects score, which might have been a Bryan Singer homage.

Bytes:

• The exploding earpiece was hilarious. Well, how it got into Awesome's ear was hilarious.

• So were the labeled watches.

• Chuck uses tranq guns, just like Alias did for the first couple of seasons.

• Brandon Routh was Superman in Bryan Singer’s Superman Returns.

• The BuyMore cagefight scene made me miss Anna for the first time this season. She could have mopped the floor with those mooks.

• I enjoy girl-on-girl fights. Is that a strange thing for a straight woman to say?

• We’re supposed to cheer for Morgan becoming a manager who toys with his employees’ futures to get them to conform. I’m on his side in this one, because the electrified fence thing must have really scared that teenager, but it’s our politically-objectionable, let’s-maintain-the-status-quo moment of the week. After Gustavo’s comment last week, and an in-depth conversation with my little brother about how television determines what is considered 'normal' and what isn't, to the detriment of those of us who fly our freak flags with pride, I’m considering adding a “Yikes!” section to the rest of my Chuck review. We’ll see how next week goes.


…and Pieces:

• Julius: “Okay, pal. Take it easy. I’m building security; my name’s Julius. What’s the problem?”
Awesome: “I’m involved in something really messed up. I’ve been lying to my wife, lying to everybody. I can’t take it anymore.”
Julius: “Because of this Chuck guy?”
Awesome: “Yes, Chuck.”
Julius: “I think I understand. Look, pal, if you really love this Chuck, you have to tell your wife. You can’t live a lie. Trust me, I’ve been there.”

• Awesome: “Chuck, you killed Julius!”

• Chuck: “Bad guys don’t count carbs, buddy.”

• Casey: “This guy? I’ve got back issues of Guns and Ammo older than he is.”

• Chuck: “You know, sometimes what I like to do is open up a problem, really examine it, find its weak points, and then not be afraid to just attack it head on.” This line scores a zero on the sense-o-meter. I love it.

• Angie Harmon: “Spies don’t say please.” I like Angie Harmon.


A lot of character development and symbolism in this episode. It felt a little rushed, but was enjoyable. I’m glad Awesome isn’t dead.

Three out of four labeled watches.

(Season Three, Episode Four)

(Thanks to Chuck-Media.org for the photo.)


Read full post.

Lost: the Crash of Oceanic 815

This might be the best Lost fan video I've ever seen. It's the crash of 815, taken from a number of episodes and webisodes. It's awesome.






Read full post.

Human Target: Pilot (premiere)

Tricia Helfer: "You wore a vest? Where's my vest?"
Chance: "I'm your vest."

Except for the fact that I hate heroes with names like "Chance," I really enjoyed the pilot episode of Human Target. It moved like a high-speed train (in more ways than one) and it made me laugh out loud, over and over.

Human Target is an action show with a twist, the twist being that our hero Chance (Mark Valley) takes on clients who are in serious danger of being killed, and puts them in even more danger so that he can catch whomever's doing it. Another of Chance's quirks is that he enjoys unusual forms of payment for his services.

There are explosions and action sequences. There's Chi McBride as his partner (or possibly his boss, it was hard to tell). There's Jackie Earle Haley, whose character Guerrero was remarkably funny and fun to watch. The wonderful Tricia Helfer (Six from Battlestar Galactica) guest starred in the pilot as Chance's latest client, pretty much ensuring that sci-fi geeks would at least give the series a try. (Worked for me.)

Chance got pretty well banged up in the opener as well as the last few minutes, and the subtext seems to be that he's not only reckless, but possibly suicidal. Maybe he's just driven to save people, though. Or he's challenged by nearly impossible, unusually dangerous tasks. Whatever. I understand this one is based on a comic book (what isn't, these days) and I sort of expected Chance to have a superpower. Guess not. Unless they're keeping it a secret for the first season finale.

I certainly liked the pilot enough to tune in next week. This one might just make it. Although I can tell that Chance's chances of surviving mission after mission will eventually seem *really* improbable.

Read full post.

Heroes: Let It Bleed

Peter: “Because I need to be more than a Band-Aid, Claire.”

(This review covers the second half of the two-hour Heroes-palooza that aired on January 4.)

Aw, and we were off to such a great start. One of the most frustrating things about this season of Heroes is the characters’ tendency to verbalize every emotion instead of letting it come through in their behavior. They’re like Dawson’s Creek characters.

Wait. Do people even remember Dawson’s Creek? I suddenly feel guilty about bringing up such an outdated pop culture reference. Perhaps if I sought redemption, I could rid myself of this awful sensation I have in my soul. It’s like I lost my sense of purpose in life and... Do you see how annoying that gets?

Anyway, this chapter was all about letting out your hurt and anger: Peter almost got himself killed trying to repress his grief for Nathan; Noah trounced on poor Edgar to get over his daughter’s rejection; and Sylar lashed out at the carnies for what was done to him last season. In all cases, the experience proved hallow. If you don’t believe me, just ask Claire... And Peter and Sylvia and Noah and Lauren. They won’t shut up about it.

Peter a.k.a. Mr. Empathic:
The most obvious symbol in the episode was Claire cutting her finger at Nathan’s wake. It didn’t heal for some reason (some injuries, such as the death of a loved one, never do), and Claire wanted to let it bleed so she could experience the pain. Peter got her a Band-Aid so he could make it all better.

In true Peter fashion, he tried to deal with his own hurt by saving people, albeit in a completely reckless way. Good thing Claire was there as his “safety net”. Peter really should have copied her ability before going off to stop a shooting, of all things. Also, I love how comfortably the two started talking about their powers in front of the injured woman. She must have thought they were nuts.

Noah a.k.a. Jack Bauer in a Suit:
As usual this season, Noah’s subplot was by far the least interesting. So Claire is angry at him again. What else is new? Noah used to be my favorite character, but now I groan every time he starts prattling about all the bad decisions he’s made in life. I don’t know how Lauren can stand him in his current state. She was better off with Angel.

I’m also uncomfortable with seeing him gleefully torture another human being like that, especially since he wasn’t doing it for information so much as emotional release. If I was Edgar the Speedster, I wouldn’t trust Noah either. I mean, he’s just one step removed from being a serial killer at this point, isn’t he?

Sylar a.k.a. The Energizer Killer Bunny:
He just keeps going and going and going, doesn’t he? It seems the Powers That Be have found yet another way of neutering Sylar until the big season finale. This time, it’s a psychological blockage, presumably due to the time he spent as Nathan. Don’t get me wrong: I think Zachary Quinto has amazing onscreen presence, but I could do with a little less Sylar, please.

The problem is that he’s so evil he always demands the heroes’ immediate attention. That means, for the story to make sense, the characters have to go through the same motions over and over and over again. There’s something wrong with Sylar, and he wants to fix it! Yup, seen that before. Different factions are trying to manipulate him! Seen it too. Sylar rebels and goes after Claire! We get it. We get it.

Bits and Pieces:

--Despite my misgivings about Sylar coming back so soon, the opening scene, in which he confronts Samuel, was six kinds of awesome. It was like an old-school monster mash with both actors reaching new levels of creepy. Icky climax too.

--I wonder if we’ll see Mr. Nozawa, the Japanese cook, again. He knows too much!

--And what was his calling Lauren the “Iron Maiden” all about?

--Peter copying West’s ability in order to fly like Nathan one last time was kind of sweet, but that kid must spend all day in front of his Facebook account for Claire to have reached him so fast. Loser.

Quotes:
Most of the quotes come from Samuel this time around. He’s the only one not explaining every little thing he feels:

Sylar: “I returned with one simple, singular thought.”
Samuel: “Wait. Don’t tell me. Fun?”
Sylar: “Feast.”
So creepy.

Samuel: “If you had the strength, I’d put you in construction. If you had the wisdom, you’d teach the children. But, no, these hands are meant for a softer trade.”
That’s cold. And kind of gross.

Samuel: “I’m not a good guy, but I’m not all bad either.”
Looks like someone just caught the constantly-explaining-your-character bug too.

Noah: “You’re not a violent person.”
Edgar: “No, you are.”

Lauren: “The thing about burnt bridges is they can be rebuilt.”
We shall see Heroes writers. We shall see.

Two Peter-shaped Band-Aids out of four. Now I know I’m being too easy.

More of me at: http://www.thedreamersedge.com/
Read full post.

NewsFlash: Torchwood jumping the pond?

I love Torchwood. I love it a lot. Their miniseries Children of Earth was the best thing I saw last summer, and John Barrowman is nearly my favorite hot guy on the tube (after Jensen Ackles, of course). Being a Torchwood fan in the states can be difficult, though; we have to wait for it to air on BBC America. The Sci-Fi Channel carries Doctor Who (but late, late, late) but hasn't chosen to run its spinoff series (some say for a reason that rhymes with shmomophobia).

Well, according to LiveFeed, we might be getting Torchwood in the U.S., on Fox -- with the original production team *and*, most critically, John Barrowman as Captain Jack. Frankly, if Barrowman isn't on board, forget it.

I'm feeling apprehensive about this whole thing. It's Fox, and I hate Fox. I hate the possibility of Torchwood without John Barrowman, too. And what about Eve Myles?

Read full post.