Breaking Bad: Grilled

"We tried to poison you. We tried to poison you because you're an insane, degenerate piece of filth and you deserve to die."

When you know your main characters will live through an experience, it takes really outstanding writing and acting to get the audience to fear for them. Mission accomplished.

Gold acting stars for Raymond Cruz, who did an exceptional job playing the late and deeply unlamented hair-trigger lunatic, Tuco Salamanca. Walt and Jesse were trapped with him for hours in that "really nice crib in the country", not knowing from one moment to the next when Tuco would kill or hurt them. As if that weren't enough, it got even crazier because of a wild card -- a silent old man in a wheelchair. Walt and Jesse made the serious mistake of assuming he was a vegetable, but "Tio" saw and heard everything, and in a state of extreme frustration, he kept trying to tell Tuco what was going on, throwing himself at the poisoned food and ringing his bell. Was he Tuco's uncle? Tuco certainly didn't treat him very well.

The rest of the episode centered around Hank, and in a way, he was like old "Tio" with the bell. The opening scene with the pep talk ("Hell, yeah! Hell, yeah!") was really funny and we're going ah, Hank, you're all hot air. And then Hank showed us that he saw everything, understood everything, and he's damned good at his job. He followed Marie and Skyler's lead to Jesse and he actually did find Walt, although he doesn't know it yet. Big gun battle with Tuco, pause, careful aim, goodbye Tuco. A wow of a kill shot. I like Hank. He seems like such an overblown jerk at times, but there's an impressive lawman hiding inside there.

Which left Walt and Jesse stranded in the desert without Jesse's ridiculous bouncing car. And "Tio" alive and inside the house, knowing Walt's real name. Now what?

Even with everything Tuco did, neither Walt nor Jesse could bring themselves to kill Tuco in cold blood. I care about Walt and Jesse now, and did not like seeing them locked in a trunk, tossed around and terrified. (Which had to be taxing for the actors, as well.) Walt cares about Jesse, or at the very least, feels responsible for him. Not so sure of the reverse, since Jesse was suggesting that since Walt had a short time to live, he should sacrifice himself to save Jesse. Maybe Jesse was kidding. Nope. Well, maybe just a little.

The photography in this episode was fascinating. We constantly got close-up shots of discarded objects, shell casings, and bits of Jesse's car along with the unidentifiable noise that we later discover is Jesse's car hydraulics bouncing away. What did it mean? I'm not sure that I know. I observe, you decide. Seriously, though. Post something!

Bits of symbolism:

-- The family thinks that Walt killed himself, and that photo of him on the MISSING flier made him look helpless and pathetic. But Skyler, Hank and Marie also know now that Walt had a secret cell phone. Great visual when it was mentioned and they cut to that very cell phone flying through the air like a bird.

-- Loved the shot with Walt and Jesse arguing sotto voce as photos of Gonzo, NoDoze and the junkyard appeared behind them on the television. Laugh out loud funny. I also liked the optical illusion picture in the background when we discovered that Tio wasn't exactly a vegetable. They do this sort of symbolism so well.

-- Tuco's shirt looked like shiny snake scales. His previous shirt had chains all over it. The wardrobe department knows what they're doing.

-- Did Tuco really shoot a cow with a machine gun? (Symbolizing Tuco destroying Walt, his source of money.)

Bits and pieces in the desert:

-- Tuco didn't kill Gonzo, after all. The poor guy Tuco beat to death was called NoDoze. Guess he's sleeping now.

-- Tuco's cousins are still coming. This can't be good.

-- So Walt did have the poison with him. For a moment, I thought Tuco would actually take it.

-- If you're new to Breaking Bad, I'm going to spoil you a tiny bit by revealing that the bell-ringing "Tio" (Mark Margolis) appears again. I love this character.

-- In this week's car report, Jesse's ride was seriously shot up. So was Hank's.

Quotes:

Hank: "Study the face, study the file, get a big old raging hard-on at the idea of catching this piece of shit. My apologies to the HR department! Grow tumescent with anticipation."

Tuco: "I like doing business with a family man. There's always a lot of collateral."

Tuco: "What's with this gag? It smells like head cheese."
Jesse: "It's killer. Seriously."

Marie: "I think the very fact that they haven't found him yet bodes well. Somebody would have smelled something by now."
Marie, like Cordelia Chase, has never actually heard of tact.

Marie: "Chemotherapy and marijuana go together like apple pie and Chevrolet."

I was trying to think of how many ringing bells to give this episode, and I realized that Breaking Bad is either very good or outstanding. Constantly giving it three or four bells is going to get boring. It probably needs a scale all its own. Any suggestions?

Billie

... Read full post

Chuck: Chuck versus the Series Finale

[This dual review by Josie and Mark covers the last two episodes of Chuck, “Chuck versus Sarah” and “Chuck versus the Goodbye.” If you don’t want to be spoiled on how it all ends, click no further! If you do want to know the ending--as well as the meaning of life--click on.]


Josie’s Take

Last February, I gave up on Chuck. The plot holes and problems-of-the-week were starting to drain me, and I’d lost my affection for a show whose biggest strength is creating fondness out of nothing more than thin air, sub sandwiches, and quips. No one loves Chuck because it’s the best, or the riskiest, or the prettiest, or the most inventive. People love Chuck for the same reason Sarah loves Chuck: because he is what he is.

In that last review, I concluded with this statement: “Our heroes…are all about the connections. It’s that theme of Josh Schwartz shows that I particularly like, and it was the guiding principle of The O.C. for most of the series: people coming together and risking a lot in order to protect their loved ones.”

It’s odd, then that this finale wasn’t about people coming together, but people moving apart. Ellie, Awesome, and Baby Clara are on their way to Chicago and a pair of prestigious jobs. Casey has moved out of the apartment complex and on to more spy games and a woman named Gertrude. Alex (Casey’s daughter) and Morgan are moving in together—which just emphasizes that Morgan and Chuck have really moved past the roommate stage.

And Chuck and Sarah? That’s the question, isn’t it? Sarah lost her memory in the antepenultimate episode “Chuck versus the Bullet Train,” and by the end of the two-part series finale, it was left up to the viewer to decide if she’d officially regained it. We know that bits and pieces were coming back. We know that she seemed to enjoy Chuck’s stories about their life together. And we hope that the kiss worked its magic, just like in a Disney movie.

It wasn’t the ending I wanted, but I’m happy with the ending we’ve got. I choose to believe that Sarah regains her memories, and that she and Chuck ride off into the sunset towards their adorable house and a life of bourgeoisie respectability. At the very least, Sarah seems willing to consider the possibility that she loves her geekish husband, and there’s possibility there. Their relationship has come full circle since the pilot, and now—having completed that circle—there’s a chance for them to start afresh.

Mark’s Take

I stopped watching Chuck at the end of season four. Although I still had some affection for the series, it no longer offered a good reason for me to keep tuning in every week. But I still wanted to see the finale because I had to know how it all ends for Chuck, Sarah, Casey, Morgan and the rest of Team Bartowski.

I often rate series finales in terms of Star Treks. On very rare occasions you get absolute perfection (TNG). The majority of the time, though, you have to settle for great but could've been better (DS9). Other times they can be entertaining but at the same time a wasted opportunity (VOY). Too many times a show is cancelled before the writers can wrap everything up in a satisfying manor (TOS). And sometimes you get finales where your first response after watching is to scream “dear god, what did we do to make them hate us so much?” as loudly as possible (ENT).

I would rate this a definite DS9. The story wasn't that great and Quinn made for a rather lame final villain. There not much to the character and Angus Macfadyen's heart clearly wasn't in it. But those final goodbyes really got to me. I was surprised by just how emotional I actually got. Even though I drifted away from the show, I never stopped caring about these characters and it was sad saying goodbye to them. I was even starting to tear up at the end, as Chuck and Sarah shared that final, magical kiss. So I'll finish by saying a big thank you to cast and crew of Chuck. Our time together might not have been perfect but I don't regret a second of it. And I leave you all with some of things I've loved most about Chuck:

• Adam Baldwin's many grunts.

• The general awesomeness of Captain Awesome.

• Fantastic guest stars like Scott Bakula, Linda Hamilton, Timothy Dalton (unquestionable the series best villain), Mark Hamill, Tony Todd, John Larroquette, Rachel Bilson, Bruce Boxleitner, Morgan Fairchild, Tony Hale, Jordana Brewster, Melinda Clarke, Christopher Lloyd, Summer Glau, Robert Englund, Fred Willard, Swoozie Kurtz, Carrie-Ann Moss, a trio of Greendale almuni (Danny Pudi, Chevy Chase, Yvette Nicole Brown), Gary Cole, Mark Sheppard (because its illegal to make a genre show without him) and loads, loads more.

• The unique music of Jeffster! But not Jeff and Lester. They are one of the reasons I started to fall out of love with Chuck in the first place.

• Yvonne Strahovski beating the crap out of Nicole Richie to the sweet sounds of “Smack My Bitch Up”. I like to see this as a symbolic battle between proper television and the unholy scourge that is 'reality' TV.


What do you think? Did the season finale of the little show that could earn four out of four first dates?
... Read full post

Merlin: The Dragon's Call

“None of us can choose our destiny, Merlin. And none of us can escape it.”

You know, Doctor Who has a lot to answer for.

Before its return in 2005, science fiction and fantasy shows were practically an endangered species on British television. In fact, had it not been for the triumphant comeback of the mad man with a box, they would have become extinct altogether. Once the revived Doctor Who made it clear that there was still a healthy audience for family friendly fantasy drama, both the BBC and ITV were quick to cash in. And thus we ended up with drivel like Demons, Robin Hood, Outcasts, Bonekickers, The Deep and, lord have mercy on us, Paradox. Suddenly extinction wasn't looking like such a bad idea.

Four years ago, I would've happily filed Merlin away with that lot. When it first aired, I didn't really give Merlin a fair chance. I watched a few episodes, including this one, thought it was a very silly series and switched off. It reminded me too much of the fantasy films of the 1980s. The storytelling was predictable, the special effects were cheap and cheesy, the heroes were all young and pretty, and the actual acting was left to veteran Thespians (in this case Anthony Head, Richard Wilson and John Hurt), slumming it for a quick paycheck. It wasn't until season three that I decided to give it another chance. And I'm glad I did because, like peasants turned into newts by witches made of wood, Merlin got better. A lot better. I went back and watched season one again and was surprised to discover that it wasn't as bad as I remembered. It wasn't great, but it was by no means terrible.

Taking the Matter of Britain and giving it the Smallville treatment, Merlin re-imagines the legendary wizard as a teenager, living in Camelot and having adventures every week with the young, and arrogant, Prince Arthur. Like the Last Son of Krypton, this Merlin is a young farm boy with superpowers (that he must keep concealed from his friends) and a great destiny ahead of him.

'The Dragon's Call' doesn't get the show off to a strong start. In fact, this has to be one of the weakest pilots I have ever seen. It makes the crucial mistake of assuming the audience isn't paying attention and is therefore unable to figure things out for themselves. So they ram as much exposition as possible right down our throats. When Merlin first arrives in Camelot, someone is, rather conveniently, being executed for using magic, leading to a very clunky speech from Uther all about how magic is banned in Camelot. Later, Gwen introduces herself to Merlin by telling him her name, her nickname, occupation, shoes size, favourite colour, and what she most looks for in a man.

One of Merlin's strongest features is its cast. Head might chew the scenery while Hurt (literally) phones it in, but the younger cast members aren't that bad. Colin Morgan makes for a likeable Merlin. Arthur might be a complete prat, but that's more to do with how he's written than Bradley James' acting. Morgana is probably the series' most interesting character, and I'm not just saying that because I'm absolutely infatuated with Katie McGrath (okay, maybe a bit). The only major weak link is Gwen. Again, this isn't any fault of the actor. Angel Coulby does the best she can with what she's given. But Gwen is essentially the Lana Lang of the series. She's nice, kind, sweet and duller than a convention for John Major impersonators.

Familiar Faces

Gwen Cooper herself, Eve Myles, played both the vengeful Mary Collins and Lady Helen. And she was completely wasted in both roles.

Merthur Moments

First time they meet, Arthur and Merlin can't wait to get physical with each other. Second time they meet, Merlin is practically ripping off his clothes so he can get physical with Arthur again. And this was all before they started doing Merther stuff deliberately.

Notes and Quotes

--Among the many anachronism are reading glasses, sandwiches, mops, strawberries and tomatoes.

--Camelot is actually the Chateau de Pierrefonds, Pierrefonds, Oise in France. Looks nice, doesn't it? If too obviously French for a British castle.

--To keep his keep comfortable, Richard Wilson's Medieval boots are actually Nike trainers in disguise.

Uther: “You saved my boy's life. A debt must be repaid.”
Merlin: “Um... well...”
Uther: “Don't be so modest. You shall be rewarded.”
Merlin: “No, honestly, you don't have to, Your Highness.”
Uther: “No, absolutely. This merits something quite special.”
Merlin: “Well...”
Uther: “You shall be awarded a position in the Royal Household. You shall be Prince Arthur's manservant.”
Arthur: “Father!”

Merlin: “Come on, Gwen. I thought you liked those real rough, tough, save-the-world kind of men.”
Gwen: “No, I like much more ordinary men like you.”
Merlin: “Gwen, believe me, I'm not ordinary.”
Gwen: “No, I didn't mean you. Obviously. Not you. Just, you know, I like much more ordinary men. Like you.”
Merlin: “Thanks.”

Arthur: “I warn you, I've been trained to kill since birth.”
Merlin: “Wow. And how long have you been training to be a prat?”
Arthur: “You can't address me like that.”
Merlin: “Sorry. How long have you been training to be a prat, my lord?”

Uther: “Why are you not joining us at the feast?”
Morgana: “I just don't think chopping someone's
Uther: “It was simple justice for what he'd done.”
Morgana: “To whom? He practiced magic. He didn't hurt anyone.”

A so-so start to the series. But I'm feeling a little generous. Two out of four naff CGI dragons that sound like Quentin Crisp. ... Read full post

Once Upon a Time: Desperate Souls

"Looks like you made a deal you didn't understand. I don't think you're gonna do that again.”

I‘d never say we’d see Rumpie’s origin so soon. I expected to see a tale of greed gone too far, not of a loving father. The character that began the story and the one we know and love are so different that they seem to be unconnected, yet every step of the process felt true. That’s truly good writing.


But before we talk more about our star of the week, holy cow, Graham really died! I always try to be spoiler-free from shows I watch, so I was still hoping he’d make it. That’s a pity, I was just starting to like him. Hopefully, we’ll see the Huntsman in the fairy flashbacks (fairy-backs? fairy-flashes? flash-tales? A virtual donut for the best name for those).

Ok, back to this week’s story, Rumpie acquired power in order to free his son from a senseless war. I can’t blame him. The first time I saw this episode I didn’t consider him a coward, like everybody from the village (including his son), because he risked his life to save his son’s. Since then, I lost my father, and that feeling got even stronger. My father did any and everything for my family; Rumpie is no different. It’s a pity he couldn’t get what he wanted, and paid the price.

On our world, we had sheriff elections. The results and twists were fairly predictable, but at least it moved the story forward. Related to it, on the comments on my last review, percysowner suggested something very interesting: that the Mirror “edited” what the Queen saw. This implies that the Mirror, and probably also Sidney Glass, is more in control of things than he appears to. He may be the man behind the curtain, our ultimate Big Bad. It would make an interesting twist, and an even more interesting commentary on the power of the Press. This would also explain why they cast such a terrific actor to play such a small role.


Bits and pieces

- Robert Carlyle’s character count: 3.

- Rumpie was a spinner. As a magical being, he spun straw into gold (as I vaguely remember; Rumpelstiltskin is not a popular tale around here).

- What a fragile, unprotected castle.

- The Dark One’s real name was something like “Zoso”, which is what some fans call the Led Zeppelin IV album. Since it’s a legendarily mysterious name, it was appropriate and fun.

- The Dark One/ the Beggar was played by Brad Dourif, who I liked very much in Deadwood. He can be dark and sympathetic at the same time. Great casting. I also like those “I’m immortal and I want to die” stories.

- I won’t mention Iraq and other senseless wars because I think the relation is clear enough.

- David and Mary bla bla bla nothing new.

- The sour face on Regina when she handed Emma the sheriff star was delightful.

Quotes

Mr Gold: “No, please. They... They grow up so fast. (…) You enjoy these with your boy. Your time together is precious, you know? That's the thing about children-- before you know it... You lose them.”
No way he’d say that if he didn’t remember his past self. I think it’s well established he does.

Regina: “Oh, I'm sorry. You didn't want people to know you cut his cord with a shiv?”

Rumpie: “The law doesn't want you to fight, son. The law wants you to die. That's not battle. That's… That's a sacrifice, son.”

Mr Gold: “Now that you're sheriff, I'm sure we'll find some way for you to pay back what you owe me.”

Rumpie’s story was a four; the election was a two. Let’s average it to three out of four kissed boots.

I'd like to dedicate this review to the memory of my father.
... Read full post

Justified: Cut Ties

"You have the right to remain silent. As long as you can stand the pain."

Everyone was so competent. Which makes it sound like a boring episode. This was not a boring episode.

Art Mullen is a terrific character and I'm fond of him, and this may have been his best episode so far. It certainly showed that he was ready to throw away the book if he had to, which surprised me. I certainly understood why, though. If there is a degree of evil in criminal activity, then torturing and killing the marshal who is protecting you, and having an innocent woman and her two small children killed just so you can get back into a life of crime, is at the far range of despicable.

I kept expecting Poe to get the drop on him, but Art knew something wasn't right, he figured it all out, and he got protection to Mary Archer and assistance to Rachel in the nick of time. Although Rachel was also exceptionally good at her job and probably would have been okay on her own.

Raylan showed a lot of smarts. Yes, it was a bit after the fact, but Raylan figured out that Boyd deliberately picked a fight with him in order to get to Dickie, so he got Boyd released and Dickie placed in solitary. Raylan just couldn't compensate for a guard who was willing to be bribed. (The Raylan/Boyd conversation in the jail was delightful.)

Boyd was competent, clever and surprising. And brave. It takes a lot of nerve to walk up to a bunch of scary looking prisoners and pick a fight. He found the right guard, got himself into solitary, and it turned out he didn't plan to kill Dickie after all. He was after Mags' money. (Which is why all the pot sheds were torn up, of course.)

Unfortunately, a frightening guy named Limehouse is holding the money for Dickie, and I don't see him as easy to circumvent. That scene at the end absolutely did its job. Without showing us anything more violent than the man butchering meat and a horrible scar on the back of another man's hand, Limehouse completely freaked me out. I am definitely tense about Boyd taking this guy on.

The rest of the episode featured some really lovely Raylan/Winona banter about realtors, firemen and lion tamers, and the introduction of assistant chief marshal Goodall, an old friend of Raylan's from the Miami office. When he was alone with Goodall, Raylan wasn't forthcoming about the fact that he's involved with Winona and has a baby on the way, but then he kissed Winona in front of Goodall, as well as the whole office. Was Raylan trying to prove something to himself and/or to Goodall? Winona, in white ruffles, seemed like a little girl next to Goodall in her dark red blouse and decolletage.

This was an exceptionally suspenseful episode. I truly thought Art was going to die, and that Goodall was brought in because she was going to replace him. And then I thought, no, Rachel is going to die. And I really thought Boyd was going to kill Dickie. And none of those things happened. Awesome.

Bits and pieces:

-- The realtor called Raylan "Mr. Hawkins," and apparently, the real-e-tor joke is going to live forever. Still nothing about the idiotic Gary. I do hope he's safely in Tahiti, which sucks.

-- This was the second time Rachel had to kill someone. She seemed to be okay with it, but sometimes these things wait in the wings for awhile and then come back at you.

-- Art told Bill Nichols that Raylan was his penance for what he put his first chief through. Poor Nichols. He was a good marshal and a nice guy, and when he was young, he wanted to be a hero. And what did he get? Tortured, killed and dumped.

-- Terry Poe, the villain of the piece, had aquariums full of reptiles, and he starved them to death. Heartless, thoughtless cruelty.

-- The guard (Todd Stashwick) was listening to Boyd and Dickie, wasn't he?

-- Carla Gugino (Goodall) was the star of another, less successful Elmore Leonard property, Karen Sisco. She's very good. Here's hoping she's around for awhile.

Quotes:

Raylan: "What do you make of a man who divorces a woman, then gets her pregnant, then wonders if maybe they should move in together?"
Boyd: "Well now, Raylan, you're talking to a man who's sleeping with his dead brother's widow and murderess. So if you're looking for someone to cast stones at you on this matter, I think you've picked the wrong sinner."

Raylan: (looking at the ultrasound) "Just from this angle, it bears a striking resemblance to the creature from Alien."

Goodall: "You're different than I remember."
Raylan: "Yeah. Well, I'm older."

Another good one. Three out of four lion tamers,

Billie

... Read full post

The Fades: Episode 2 (Put on Your Red Shoes and Dance the Blues)

“Don't worry. I get it. You're afraid of my sister. A lot of people are. Apparently my first response when I came out of the womb was to cower.”

I found it difficult to re-watch this one and even more difficult to review it. This has to be the worst episode of the entire first season.

The biggest problem I had with this episode is that there was just no plot. If someone came up to me and asked me to describe exactly what happened, I'd struggle, and I've seen it three times. We got drips of new information about the Fades and the Angelis as well as a few character beats, but apart from that absolutely nothing happened. The closest we got to a genuine narrative was the build up to Anna's party. It was a classic tale of triumph over adversity that did nothing but reveal how pathologically insensitive she is. Two young boys have been brutally murdered and all she cares about is her party being cancelled. Bloody hell, Anna, you could at least pretend to give a shit. It is what human beings do.

We're two episodes in now, and it still looks like he can't decide whether or not he wants The Fades to be a teen drama or supernatural thriller. As a teen drama, The Fades is less Skins and more Grange Hill. Yes, there's swearing, sexual references and a looming zombie apocalypse, but apart from that this is all just bog standard teen stuff. And as a supernatural thriller, so far The Fades is rather generic and not clever enough to realise (nor subvert) how clichéd it is. It's like Paul Kelly said last week: Thorne seems to have no real understanding of the genre. It's easy to imagine that he simply watched a load of movies and TV shows and took notes.

I'm still having a problem with all the characters. I do want to like Paul, despite Iain de Caestecker only ever having the same confused/surprised look on his face. He's got that appealing everyman quality to him, but at the same time is a little too everyman. There isn't anything about him that really stands out (with the exception of his wardrobe). In fact, the only thing he has going for him at the moment is that he isn't as annoying as Mac.

Mac's excessive geekiness really needs to be toned down. We get it, Jack, him and Paul are massive geeks. You don't need to keep hitting us over the head with all these lazy pop culture references. This episode did give us some insight into his pretty horrible home life. It didn't make me instantly like him, but I did feel really sorry for him. Which I would say is a definite step in the right direction.

Notes and Quotes

--Flesh eating ghost I'll buy, but I find it hard to believe that someone who looks like Neil, could just walk into Paul's school and take him away without anyone stopping them.

--Mac's dad is the same policeman investigating Sarah's disappearance. If the writer's plan was for us to instantly dislike Mac's dad then it worked. I don't care how much pressure you're under at work, or how loud they are playing their music, there is never, ever a valid excuse for getting drunk and hurting your child.

--Neil, I know you're a bit of a shut in, but surely you know that people should never split up when they're in an creepy abandoned building?

--Poor Natalie Dormer. Not only is she given very little to do, she's also stuck in the dreary Mark subplot.

--Fades continue to age even after death.

--Why do the Fades keep attacking Neil but never kill him? Finish the job you lazy sods!

Paul:" There's this girl."
Mac: "Fit?"
Paul: "Dead."
Mac: "Dead fit?"
Paul: "You into necrophilia now?"

Neil: "Do you remember the first time we met?"
Paul: "Yeah, you shot at me."
Neil: "Okay, so, so maybe you remember it slightly less fondly than I do, eh?"

Mac: "Your sister was naked."
Paul: "Well, the important thing was that she was dead."
Mac: "Dead. Naked and in your bed."
Paul: "She was... it was only partial nudity."
Mac: "Maybe you're not special, maybe you're just sick." ... Read full post

Breaking Bad: Seven Thirty-Seven

"Seven hundred and thirty seven thousand dollars. That's what I need."

Walt and Skyler White are both going through a terribly difficult time in their lives, but there, the resemblance ends. The contrast is extreme. It's like they're on different planets.

They're not communicating at all, which was made obvious by the scene where Walt (in his evil Heisenberg black hat) and Skyler (in the greenest facial masque I've ever seen) did *not* have sex in the kitchen. Walt was a basket case, reacting emotionally to almost dying but unable to tell her about it, while all Skyler registered was that her husband was apparently attacking her. We had Walt trying to decide how to deal with Tuco, while Skyler was hanging up on Marie. And we also had Walt hiding drug money and Jesse's gun in a box of disposable diapers, because you can never have too much symbolism.

My favorite scene by far was Skyler's meltdown all over Hank. In fact, I think Hank and Marie were comic relief this time. I loved the kid's utterly appalled expression when Marie ran over his toy car. Marie appears to be mainlining Splenda and reluctantly seeing a shrink about her shoplifting habit. These two things are probably related.

Walt was trying to figure out exactly how long he'll need to continue consorting with Tuco (eleven weeks, $737,000) without considering that there is no dealing with a man who is this crazy. How does Tuco stay in business if he keeps killing his friends? Did Tuco kill Gonzo, too, or was he killed accidentally while trying to hide the body? Either way, that precarious and deadly wall of cars is still my favorite candidate for Most Obvious Symbolism, and eventually, that wall is going to come down on Walt.

In fact, since Tuco just took Walt and Jesse away at gunpoint, maybe it just did. Obviously, the series isn't about to end, but this sort of thing is just going to keep happening, isn't it? I also don't think Walt brought along that poison when he went out to the car, did he?

The opening scene was obviously in media res, with sirens and a burned stuffed animal floating in a pool. One of its disembodied eyes went down the pool drain. By the end of the episode, we had not reached this scene. I assume we'll reach it eventually.

Bits of symbolism:

-- Walt said that he needs $737,000, but it's an odd amount. "Seven Thirty-Seven" is the title of the episode and I feel compelled to point out that a 737 is also a plane. In the junkyard, Walt hid the meth in what looked like an airline seat. Probably a bus seat, though, because what would an airline seat be doing in a car junkyard?

-- Cars, cars, cars. I really can't tell one from another, but Walt is driving a boxy hybrid, isn't he? Skyler has a really old station wagon, and Jesse drives an ancient red piece of crap with dice hanging from the rear view. Tuco drives a huge black SUV. All very much in character. And of course, the deals have been going down in a car junkyard.

-- Great shot of Jesse at the Dog House with the neon sign in the background, the sausages flickering on one end, the tail wagging on the other. No symbolism there, huh?

Other bits:

-- Hank referred to Walt's blue product as "old school biker meth" and mentioned the inexperienced new cooks getting in trouble with "the boys from Juarez".

-- Skyler was looking at a photo of herself with a man who was not Walt. Uh oh.

-- Would a DEA agent send a gruesome crime scene photo to his brother-in-law? That just felt too convenient. Hank wouldn't be that unprofessional, would he?

-- Hank knew all the time that Marie was shoplifting, and even knew about the tiara. Hank, I'm disappointed in you.

-- Junior came into the kitchen and saw a smear of green face masque on the fridge. I'd love to know what he was thinking.

-- This episode was directed by Bryan Cranston. He did a great job.

Quotes:

Marie: "I don't know, I just feel like Chinese. Do you think that Chinese people ever just feel like American, you know? Go out and get little take out boxes with mashed potatoes and meatloaf, and try to figure out how to use the little knives and forks?"

Jesse: "Are we just gonna grow a magic beanstalk? Huh? Climb it, and escape?"
Walt: "We are going to process them into ricin."
Jesse: (doesn't know the word) "Rice 'n... beans?"

Hank: "We have got to be understanding, you know? We gotta, you know, we gotta support the shit out of her."
Skyler: "Oh. Do we?"
Hank: "Yeah."
Skyler: "I need support. Me. The almost forty-year-old pregnant woman with a surprise baby on the way, and the husband with the lung cancer who disappears for hours on end and I don't know where he goes and he barely even speaks to me any more. With the moody son who does the same thing. And the overdrawn checking account. And the lukewarm water heater that leaks rusty looking crap and is rotting out the floor of the utility closet and we can't even afford to fix it. But ohhhh. I see. No. I'm supposed to go, Hank, please, what can I possibly do to further benefit my spoiled, kleptomaniac bitch sister, who somehow always manages to be the center of attention! Because GOD KNOWS SHE'S THE ONE WITH THE REALLY IMPORTANT PROBLEMS."
(bursts into tears)
Hank: (pause) "Want me to take a look at that utility closet?"

Three out of four magic beans,

Billie

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Glee: Yes/No

So it seems Bieste has conveniently married Cooter in order to avoid having any actual fun with the plot about her and Sue fighting over a man. It’s also convenient because Emma’s thinking about being a 21st Century Girl and asking Will to marry her. Meanwhile, Becky and Artie date, and Finn thinks about joining the army.

Summer Lovin’, Happened So Fast

First off, let me apologise for the lateness of this review. I could give you excuses, but perhaps you’d rather I give you what you came here to read. This was a mildly dissatisfying episode. I was rubbed up the wrong way from the start, with Mercedes and Sam doing Grease in a performance that was not a fresh take on a great song, more exactly the same as the film but with actors from Glee. It also felt a rather hollow since Mercedes and Sam have very little chemistry and their whole romance happened off screen. Seeing as Sam had disappeared at the beginning of this Season, I didn’t invest anything in his ‘fling’ with Mercedes. Instead I took it for what it probably was – two characters the writers didn’t really a plan for being flung together in order to tie up loose threads from Season 2, despite the fact that they had zero history of connecting. This season and this episode have spent almost no time developing Merc and Sam’s relationship, so I object to the command to care about them as a couple that was implicit in Summer Lovin’.

Much as I enjoy Chord Overstreet in a bathing suit, there didn’t seem to be much point to Sam joining the swim team other than gratuitous flesh, and to set up the ridiculous We Found Love proposal. It seems the writers are running out of ideas for new characters – the swim coach was basically Sue Sylvester crossed with Martin Luther King. It didn’t work. I did feel sorry for Sam getting synchro-slushied, but Shane handled the situation fairly gracefully. In fact, he has never been anything but a supportive and loving boyfriend to Mercedes, so why are we expected to be onboard with Sam-cedes?

We Found Love in a Hopeless Place

I have to give Glee props for the sheer zaniness of casting Helen Mirren, star of The Queen to be the voice of Becky’s inner monologue. They gave her some great lines, and it was an effective way to tell Becky’s story without it getting unclear or too cute. I personally thought she sounded like a drag queen but Becky has the right to decide how she sounds so I won’t be one of the haterz! Other than awesome Ms Mirren coming out of the left field, I found this sub-plot to be rather predictable. It would have been too painful to have Artie outright reject Becky, but given what we know about Artie, completely unbelievable for them to end up together too. Despite knowing what was coming, the conclusion with Becky’s admittance that Artie didn’t want her because she had Down’s Syndrome had some real emotional weight, and allowed us a rare moment to watch Sue be kind without expecting some cutting remark right after. It’s also good to see a character grow from something more than a one-liner machine into a believable person, and that’s what Becky did this week. I only hope the Glee will recognise and build on that growth in future episodes.

I’ve Got The Wedding Bell Blues

Where this episode really fell down was with Mr Shue. Will used to be a fairly solid and consistent character that could be relied upon to crush on Emma, actually teach his glee club, and be frustrated yet naive about his scheming wife Terri. We all wanted Will to escape his circumstances and take New Directions as far as they could go. We wanted him to get together with Emma. Now Will is proposing to her and my first response is to roll my eyes, why is that? Maybe it’s because Season 3 has spent many episodes giving no time to Will and Emma as a couple, not showing them progress in any way. There have been many promises of this happening, such when Will promised to help Emma recover from her OCD. Now apparently Will feels Emma’s OCD is hopeless, presumably so that the lyrics of We Found Love will make more sense as his proposal. Emma’s obnoxious parents return which at least reminds us why Emma might not have much inner strength to fight her compulsion – she’s growing up enduring people who would rather not see her marry a man who loves her. Emma’s speech to Will about accepting her as she is did resonate with me, probably more due to Jayma Mays and her big doe eyes rather than the quality of the material. Although the eventual proposal was fun, I couldn’t help feeling like this was all a bit of a charade, happening between the writers decreed it time for this episode, rather than because Will and Emma had been moving towards this for some time. Will in particular had such a strong arc in Season One – it feels almost nonexistent this year.

Loved

- Sugar hasn’t been forgotten about completely. Not that I like her, but I don’t like characters being thrown away.

- The one plotline that never seems to get forgotten this season is the students’ impending graduation and more importantly, what comes after? It’s a big question which Rachel, Kurt and Finn have all wrestled with, and although Finn’s army ideas seemed rather out of the blue (they should have been built up over a few episodes ever since his football dreams were crushed), it made sense that he should be thinking about this stuff. The reveal of Finn’s father’s suicide had some gravitas to it, but I found the scene where he was told – in school with his mother and father figures all sitting far away from him rather unbelievable, it should have been set at home.

- Is Mr Shue secretly Jesus?

- It makes complete sense that Finn would propose to Rachel. And I also love the fact that I have no idea whether she’ll say Yes or No.

Didn’t Love

- Sugar sang, and it sounded good! I thought one of her 3 personality traits was ‘untrainable’. Maybe I didn’t give Shelby enough credit.

- Mr Shue slo-mo dancing – no-no.

- I very much Don’t Love the clashing narrative devices of mimesis, where characters are knowingly putting on a performance (which is what Glee normally does) and diegesis, with characters unknowingly bursting into song which is more akin to traditional musicals and only really works when the story full commits to it. Occasionally you have something stellar like Once More, With Feeling that made us think the narrative was diegetic and then revealed it to be mimetic, with the characters all aware they were singing and in that case, trying to discover the cause of it. Yes/No isn’t the same, the first two songs were very much in musical mode and the rest of them were New Directions performances, with no explanation for the switch in narrative.

- Too many recent chart hits that seemed to be included for no reason. I’ll forgive We Found Love, but Moves Like Jagger and Without You didn’t need to be there – I could just imagine Ryan Murphy’s eyes turning into dollar signs from all the iTunes downloads this episode will generate. Don’t be a sell-out, Glee.

Glee Against The Music

Summer Nights from Grease performed by Mercedes and Sam with New Directions:
On the first watch, I just went with it and enjoyed the song, but after I watched through and discovered we weren’t being asked to suspend disbelief about the characters this was just the writers being damn lazy. Grade C-

Wedding Bell Blues by Laura Nyro performed by Emma with Sue and Shannon:
I have already bitched about this, but Glee asking us to suspend disbelief for the first two songs (to the point of watching Sue and Bieste backing Emma), then dropping the whole idea for the rest of the episode, was really jarring. I couldn’t get into it during this song. Grade D+

Moves Like Jagger/Jumpin' Jack Flash by Maroon 5 ft. Christina Aguilera/Rolling Stones performed by Artie with Will and New Directions Boys:
This has been on my iPod for over a month – it’s a brilliant mashup and Artie was great on lead vocal here, but I sort of wish I’d never seen it in the context of the show. This was somehow supposed to be a proposal to Emma? What?! Taken as a standalone performance it was great, the choreography, the set and the arrangement all worked (the weird neck scarves didn’t though), but it didn’t fit into the episode. Grade B

First Time Ever I Saw Your Face by Roberta Flack performed by Rachel, Santana, Mercedes, and Tina:
Paper thin set-up for the song, but it was a beautiful performance. Despite it feeling a bit forced, I did enjoy seeing the girls meet their respective significant others for the first time. Grade B

Without You by David Guetta ft. Usher performed by Rachel:
The transition from Rachel imagining singing at Breadsticks, to the real choir room performance, to Finn imagining Rachel coming up to him was done well, it was clear what was going on and I like that we saw the flow of Rachel realising Finn needed reminding that he had something really special in his life, to Finn waking up to that fact in the choir room. I think it could have been tied into the Finn army plot better, but all in all a good effort. Grade B+

We Found Love by Rihanna ft. Calvin Harris performed by Rachel and Santana:
I am glad Glee can still pull off a performance like this, something completely ridiculous yet amazing, one that makes me think ‘this would never happen in a real high school but I really don’t care’. I think the last time was Umbrella/Singin’ In The Rain. Although I’m sure the song was primarily chosen because it would sell well, there’s an interesting parallel between Emma needing drugs to get better and make her relationship work, and Rihanna's video in which recreational drugs destroy her relationship. Hmm, maybe it’s best not to peer too deeply at this stuff. Grade B+

Quotes for Gleeks

Becky: “I, Becky Faye Jackson, am the hottest bitch at McKinley High School.”

Becky: “No Chang do, I’m no rice queen.”

Sue: “Well, Michael Chiklis in a wig, I would like to offer my congratulations. I’ve been bested. I guess it’s time to call Boreanaz.”

Sugar: “I just think we’d look really weird together. It’s not that you’re disabled, it’s cuz I’m abled and people are really mean. I’m really worried that people are gonna think your legs look thinner than my arms.”

Finn: “Dude, you’re in synchronized swimming and glee club. That’s like some kind of weird death wish.”

Artie: “What’s your favorite movie?"
Becky: “Schindler’s List."
Artie: “Seriously?"
Becky: “Toy Story 3 is a close second."

Sue: “For God’s sake, can you maybe go one day without the driving gloves? It’s a wheelchair, Artie, not a Porsche.”

Finn: “Rachel Berry, will you marry me?"

I’m growing increasingly dissatisfied with the sloppy storytelling and the cavalier treatment of characters, but there were still some good moments here. Yes/No – I’d prefer Ask Again Later. Two out of four incredibly sexy bathing suits (yes, I’m talking about Santana).
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Alcatraz: Kit Nelson

We're not officially covering Alcatraz here at billiedoux.com. We've got lots of shows to watch and to write about, and we're not fully convinced that Alcatraz has the staying power of some of our current faves. But we are watching it, and we suspect at least some of you are, too.



So now's your chance to chime in on the third episode of this popular newbie. Here are some talking points to get you started:

• Calling off the Amber Alert was a bit too much.

• Foolishly, I don’t want Doc to be in “arrested development,” because I like Doc. Grown-ups can like pie, comic books, and saving little kids, without it being a psychological condition. What did you think of Doc’s implied origin story?

• Dr. Beauregard is back, eh?

• Hard to believe Rebecca can get cell reception under Alcatraz, in the middle of the bay.

What did you think? Did the third episode of Alcatraz leave you tapping your feet to “Jailhouse Rock” or mumbling the lyrics to “Folsom Prison Blues”?


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Fringe: Enemy of My Enemy

“You don’t know me, or what I’m capable of.”

Peter has finally succeeded at what he intended to do: bridging the gap between Over Here and Over There. At the end of Season Three, Peter put everything on the line to broker a peace between the two universes—and we all know how that turned out. Now, Peter’s wildcard status has brought both sides together to fight a common foe. As the saying goes, the enemy of my…oh.


Tensions between the two sides have been undeniably high ever since the season premiere. Remember the fraught conversations between Olivia and Bolivia about the new shapeshifters? Even without the events that we remember, we know that enough badness has happened to these ret-conned (or whatever-ed) heroes that they blame each other even if it’s just out of habit. But the threat of Jones’s shapeshifters transcends universal boundaries. Literally: the man makes slipping from one universe to the next look as easy as moving from the sofa to the comfy chair. An interuniversal enemy requires interuniversal cooperation.

Interestingly, Lincoln “Clark Kent” Lee seems to be a boundary-crossing kind of guy. After last week’s “No wonder you’re a detective” bickering, Lincoln “CK” Lee now refers to himself and his Superman counterpart as “us” when talking to Bolivia about the possibility of romance. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that both Lincolns were dressed so similarly and without glasses for so much of the episode—frequently, the only way I could distinguish them was by how they were interacting with various characters.

Lincoln “CK” Lee and Peter, on the other hand, keep butting heads. I’d like them to be friends, because that’s just the sort of person I am, but their goals and their desires—not to mention the complexity of their respective relationships with Olivia—have kept them at cross purposes. I have to wonder, too, if Peter doesn’t still feel like he’s been interloped by Lincoln. Is Peter fully on board with his own theory about being in the wrong universe? It seems like a lot to take in, even with his background and experience.

The highlight of the conversation scenes was, undeniably, Walter’s discussion with Elizabeth. Orla Brady is incredible. She’s brought a tremendous depth to a character that we really haven’t seen much of, and it’s a delight to see her in action as Walternate’s wife and Walter’s former wife’s doppelganger.

In the midst of these touchy-feely interpersonal moments, though, “Enemy of My Enemy” also provided some nice distrust, trepidation, and enmity. Jones is scary. Killing an entire ER just to prove a point and get out of jail takes guts, and we know he’s willing to go even further. That he’s wily and crafty just adds to the potential peril.

I’m going to stick with a theory I hinted at last week: Jones and Peter are two sides of the same coin. Jones said, “You don’t know me, or what I’m capable of.” But Peter could say the same, especially in the context of these people who don’t know him. Both sides seem to be growing to trust him in their own ways, but they haven’t experienced his unique skills, whether it’s speaking Arabic (probably not that useful in this context) or reinventing/renovating/creating a new set of paired universes.

Alt-Broyles, Possible Shapeshifter, could also utter that line. We know he’s working with Jones, as does Jones (obviously), but no one else does. We know what the world used to be like, or what the other universes are like, just like Peter does—but no one else does. We know Nina is behind some plot with Olivia’s brain, but no one else does…unless Jones and Alt-Broyles do. Peter warned Olivia of the danger of driving through the gateway, but she didn’t really understand what he’d meant until she almost experienced it. The difference between knowing and really knowing or understanding seems like it will be crucial in the episodes to come. If Fringe keeps up the delightful mix of action, conversation, and really confusing universe stuff, we’ve got a lot to look forward to.


Cool:

• Jones: “Take me to your leader.”

• Lincoln Lee: “I lost a partner.”
Peter: “I lost a universe.”

• I assume Alt-Broyles is a shapeshifter. But whenever I assume anything about Fringe, I feel stupid. Who wants to bet me five bucks that he’s a person?

• Speaking of Broyles and his “alter ego”: I love the idea of the two of them having a deadpan conversation about anything. Cupcakes, unauthorized universe-jumping, whatever.

• Walter never got a white tulip. How’s that for crushing dramatic irony?


Three and a half out of four liquefied, algae-bathed pieces of meat.


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Vampire Diaries: The Ties That Bind

“You’re not the only one that changed. We all had to.”

After a long, long streak of perfect or near-perfect episodes, VD finally managed to underwhelm me this week. That’s not to say this is a bad episode: it had many great moments and put some interesting pieces into play. But the spotlight is on Bonnie and Tyler this week, and they’re my two least favorite heroes.


The writers often put Bonnie in a difficult situation. Frequently, she’s the voice of reason and the voice of justice—if you don’t like vampires you probably agree with most of the things she’s said, particularly back in Season Two. (Well, if you don’t like vampires, you’re watching the wrong show.) But the thing is, most of us who watch the show like vampires, so it’s hard to agree with Bonnie no matter how reasonable she is. Without a white family background, she’s not a part of the council or council-descendents. She’s always a step apart. Even her relationship with Jeremy was more about them being kept apart than them forming close attachments and establishing themselves as a couple within their larger social groups.

Plus, I am perpetually convinced that Bonnie’s death is right around the corner. Needless to say, I have been perpetually wrong. Nonetheless, I still feel like she’s about to die, perhaps at her mother’s hand or perhaps in some sort of maternal-martyr scene. Bonnie’s rediscovery of her mother was underwhelming: I could tell, intellectually, that it must have been horribly painful. Her mother picked a new family and betrayed Bonnie. That’s awful. But I didn’t feel for her the way I do for Caroline, Elena, even Damon. That Bonnie’s mom and pseudo-step-brother were both operating under compulsion/blackmail made the scene even more awkward, as the double-crosses prevented emotional honesty from being the focus.

As hard as it is for me to really care about Bonnie, it’s ten times harder with Tyler. The more I think about Tyler biting Caroline last week, the more disgusted I get. Most of this disgust stems from the idea of a werewolf transformation as a metaphor of teenage sexual urges: the inner animal, etc. That makes Tyler’s sire-bond, his irrepressible animal urges and the damage they’ve caused Caroline, pretty much the same thing as rape excused with an “Oh, I couldn’t help myself.” I also don’t have sympathy for the sire-bond, no matter how little of it is Tyler’s fault. So HRG doling out some hard-core torture? Bring it on, Evil Dad. I’ve never liked Tyler much anyway.

It was the interactions ancillary to Bonnie/Mom and Tyler/Evil Dad that were the most interesting. Caroline’s father seems to have come to terms with his daughter’s vampirism, or at least to have realized that she deserves his love and protection regardless of her dietary habits. Stefan and Elena seem to be coming to an uneasy peace: Elena pulling the wood out of his chest while confessing her sins was fascinating—she could only get him to pay attention when he was paralyzed and in pain. Stefan, finally, admitted that he’d gone “a bridge too far,” so to speak.

What does that mean for Damon and Elena? That’s ambiguous, especially since Damon spent most of his time attempting to repair his broken bromance with Alaric. Meredith Fell is fun: Evil? Not evil? Who can tell? Her blood-jacking Damon was more fun than scary, and it’s a fun set-up for some accidental vampire-making down the road.

Bites:

• Damon: “We kissed. Now it’s weird.”

• Alaric: “I wonder what my exes would call me.”
Damon: “Nothing. They’re all dead.”

• Bonnie: “Please, stop with the muffins and the compliments.”

• Elena: “Keep screaming. Maybe I’ll feel sorry for you.”

• Stefan: “You’re better than him, Elena. You’re better than both of us.”

And Pieces:

• Bonnie in the coffin with her cell phone reminded me of a great Alias episode, but I can’t remember which one it is. Anyone?

• All the hybrids left town. Even the Priuses. (I couldn’t resist a hybrid/hybrid joke!)

• Was anyone else a little confused about who was doing whose bidding, and why, in the second half of the episode?

• Keeping the Bennett line alive seems to be a top priority for the dead witches.

• Right as Alaric asked Meredith “What are you?” an EMT popped up with “Watch your back!”

Elena said that everyone changed, and that’s really the major theme of this show: actions have consequences for other people, particularly those, like Elena, at a formative period in their lives. Stefan’s dehumanization changed Elena, which pushed Jeremy out of town, which left Bonnie even more vulnerable when encountering her mother, whose betrayal may be part of the reason she’s always apart, while Alaric’s history with women and with Damon has already complicated his relationship…etc. This episode threw a lot of those changes into sharp relief. As we’ve left it, the spellbound coffin is still in play, Elijah is back, and Stefan has yet another reason to be pouty at Damon. That’s a pretty good score for a three-star episode.


Three out of four muffins.
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Underworld: Awakening

Have you ever been to a sequel to a movie franchise you like and think; this was a good installment, I enjoyed it, but I want a little more? Well, that's kind of the way I feel right now. Don't get me wrong, I definitely liked this one, but as I'm trying to conjure up a stronger feeling to make writing this review easier, I find I can't really summon anything.

So what can I say about it?

(Mild spoilers ahead, but nothing beyond what can be found in the trailers.)

Well, for one, it didn't pull an Alien 3 and destroy everything that came before it. But they robbed the heroine of a lot of time, twelve years in fact. Time that could've been used to soften her, and mature her out of her angry adolescence. (Which is kind of funny considering she's supposed to be centuries old. I guess she has some long lasting rage issues.) In a lot of ways she's still dealing with the events that happened in the first movie, events of betrayal and violence. It also worked to give her a solid reason for her apparent coldness.

But I wonder if it isn't a bit of a cop out, especially with the new character that's introduced -- a hybrid child who is about twelve years old. I won't elaborate further, but the dynamic between Selene and this girl is one of the few character strengths in this film. Unfortunately, it is also one of the problems. The characters are all broad stroke archetypes with no real history or detailed motivations. Yet they do tell us enough that we understand them and connect with them on a basic level, for the most part. I just wish we'd gotten more of those quiet moments of exposition and character growth, instead of just a series of interconnected chase/fight sequences that I have a vague feeling I've seen before. I also wish they had fixed some of the iffy special effects that have plagued the series from the start.

But this was a good installment in what has been an unabashedly violent and fun vampire versus werewolf gorefest of a series. I liked the ending. I liked that they didn't destroy three movies worth of continuity. I liked that they stayed true to the look and atmosphere of the series. I liked that they continued the war started in the first film, but took it in a new direction. I liked that they brought back Kate Beckinsale, because she is really the reason the franchise exists. I missed some of the vampire politics, but given the nature of the story, that's understandable.

I recommend it to fans since it does push the continuing story forward. But if you haven't seen the rest, you might not get much out of it beyond the cool action scenes, and Kate Beckinsale looking awesome and killing people in a variety of gruesome ways.

I'd give this installment two and a half giant rampaging werewolves out of four.

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Book review: Dead as a Doornail

[Although I don't reveal whodunit, this review contains spoilers.]

"The next time someone told me I had to watch a supernatural rite, I was going to tell him I had to wash my hair."

Synopsis

A sniper is shooting shifters, but since most of the world is unaware that shifters exist, only the local supes make the connection. A werefox named Heather Kinman is killed, werepanther Calvin Norris from Hotshot is seriously injured and hospitalized, and Sam is shot in the leg. Sookie is also shot because the sniper is aware that she is "different." Sookie's house is set on fire in the middle of the night, and fairy Claudine saves her life.

In between all the mayhem and no longer dating vampires, Sookie begins to explore shifters as a romantic possibility, but things don't seem to take off with Sam and Calvin, and Alcide blackmails Sookie into attending the contest to determine the new Shreveport packmaster. Even though Sookie's mindreading discovers deception on the part of packmaster contestant Patrick Furnan, he kills Alcide's father, Jackson Herveaux, and becomes packmaster, anyway.

On the vampire front, with Sam incapacitated, pirate vampire Charles Twining helps out with the bartending at Merlotte's. Tara is victimized by vampire Franklin Mott, who "gives" her to a vicious vampire named Mickey. Eric helps Sookie with Tara's situation, but in return demands that Sookie tell him what happened while he had amnesia.

Review

There is an obvious shift toward shifters in this installment, including in Sookie's love life, and that doesn't make me happy. I'll readily acknowledge that Ms. Harris's shifter universe is complex and the variety of weres is fun, but it's not what I really want to be reading.

Sookie makes out with Sam for the first time, but it doesn't go further. I do like Sam most of the time, and I've always had the feeling that Sookie might end up with him in the end, considering how close they are. Sookie spends a lot of time considering Calvin Norris as a marital possibility, mostly because he's kind, level-headed and mature and wants her so much, but she eventually decides he's just not for her. And it appears at first as if a relationship with Alcide is finally going to happen. But no.

This is the book where Alcide lost me. He figured out that Sookie killed Debbie, and decided to use that knowledge to force Sookie into a critical and dangerous situation at the packmaster contest. (Okay, I get it, Alcide's father was a contestant, but it was still a low thing for Alcide to do.) Alcide also decided that Debbie literally bewitched him, sort of a retroactive excuse for being involved with the homicidal bitch in the first place. Did Debbie in fact bewitch Alcide? I sort of don't care.

Even Sam was using Sookie, pushing her into asking Eric for help on his behalf, and even insisting that pirate vampire Charles Twining stay at her house when she desperately didn't want him there. Bad Sam, no biscuit.

Along with all the other shifter stuff, Jason becomes a "bitten not born" werepanther, and he likes it. He is still dating Crystal Norris from Hotshot, and she might be pregnant. (Jason is a suspect in the shifter shootings, of course, because Jason is always a suspect in everything.) We're introduced to a cool werewolf named Dawson, who is guarding Calvin Norris. And finally, we meet the very tall, very cool weretiger Quinn, who is master of ceremonies at the packmaster contest.

So we have way too much shifter, and not enough vampire. And for me, the best part of the book was (you guessed it) vampire-related.

Tara has been dating Franklin Mott since "Club Dead." She finally discovers the down side of dating vampires when Franklin, who never really adjusted to the new ways, "gives" her to a horrendous vampire named Mickey. Eric still does not remember what happened in "Dead to the World", and it's driving him nuts. When Sookie asks Eric for help with the Tara/Franklin/Mickey situation, he is thrilled to oblige so that in exchange, Sookie will have to tell him what happened while he was "out". The best scene in the book is when Sookie tells Eric in excruciating detail exactly what happened between them in book four, and he is completely thrown.

There's a tad more in the fairy department, although it's something of an afterthought. Claudine saves Sookie from the house fire and announces that she is Sookie's fairy godmother. And Claudine's twin brother Claude, a male stripper, utterly gorgeous and completely gay, joins the cast of characters.

Bits

-- Arlene, Holly and Danielle are still waitressing at Merlotte's. There is a new cook named Sweetie Des Arts. (Sweet desserts?)

-- Andy Bellefleur is dating elementary school teacher Halleigh Robinson. And Bill, who catches Sookie kissing Sam, is now dating a woman named Selah Pumphrey.

-- Sookie's insurance agent, Greg Aubert, is a witch.

-- The action takes place starting at the first full moon after the new year, shortly after the end of book four. Sookie is still 26.

-- There's a Charlaine Harris crossover! Private detectives Jack Leeds and Lily Bard from Harris's non-fantasy Lily Bard "Shakespeare" series are hired to investigate Debbie Pelt's disappearance. They stop by Merlotte's and Sookie's house to make her uncomfortable, but Sookie does not break down and confess. Although she does tell Alcide the truth.

Quotes

"Eric had told me that that little road, a dirt track leading back to a deer camp, was where Debbie Pelt had hidden her car when she'd come to kill me. Might as well put up a sign: 'Parking for Sookie Stackhouse Nighttime Attacks'."

"Pam had sent a mixed bouquet, and the card read, 'Don't get shot anymore. From the gang at Fangtasia'."

Television Series Notes

At the time of this writing, season five is in production and since I avoid series spoilers, I have no idea what we're going to get. But since the majority of the cast are vampires and the focus of the fifth book is shifters, I'm guessing that this might be the season Alan Ball decides to leave the books behind.

Of course, we saw the Tara/Franklin Mott plot back in season three. I think they combined Franklin and Mickey to some extent.

In closing...

An enjoyable read, but this one sort of felt all over the place, and of course, since it had a shifter focus and not much Eric, it's not a favorite.

My next book review will be posted in two weeks.

Important notice! After eleven books and four seasons of the series, I have no idea what kind of spoiler limitations to put on the comments section under these circumstances -- so I'm not going to put any. It's a spoiler free for all! If you're new to the books and haven't seen all of the television series True Blood, reading the comments may, and probably will, spoil you. Read on at your own risk!

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Justified: The Gunfighter

"Sorry about your tablecloth."

I've been thinking for awhile that it's going to be pretty much impossible for them to top season two. So you know what? I'm not expecting it. I just want to be intrigued and entertained.

And I was. Dry humor, check. Creepy bad guys, check. Raylan and Boyd Crowder in spectacular frenemy form, check. Gunfights over a table, check. That gunfight with the tablecloth might have been the best they've ever done. It was so cool that we rewound it and watched it again.

I'm not sure I'm crazy about a season-long story centered around the despicable Dixie Mafia, but that might not be where they're going and I'm willing to wait and see. Mr. Detroit was predictably evil, and I could just feel that he was planning to take out Emmet and his unfortunate secretary, Yvette. (I thought Yvette would make it longer than the end of the episode, though.) And of course, Wynn Duffy makes my skin crawl, although I thought they dialed him down just a bit so that he wouldn't overshadow Mr. Detroit. It was fun that Duffy remembered every syllable that Raylan said to him.

On the bright side, I'm so glad that Raylan and Art have kissed and made up, because the banter was flying all over the place. Winona seemed happier with Raylan, too, although she's still trying to control him (good luck with that, Winona). Raylan was even talking about giving up his tiny motel room for something more permanent. Note how they set up the tablecloth gag by having Winona doing a little decorating.

I'm less happy that Ava has gotten involved in Boyd's business, even though she's much smarter than Devil and Arlo, and I must admit that there's something delightful about Boyd and Ava as partners in crime. I got such a charge out of Boyd deliberately picking a fight with Raylan right there in the office, since he had so much fun doing it and obviously did it to get access to Dickie Bennett. I'm sure that whatever Boyd does to Dickie, it won't keep him in jail permanently.

(I wonder if Dewey Crowe befriended Dickie on purpose in order to help Boyd? No, Dewey's not smart enough to pull off something like that, is he?)

Raylan and Ava were both suffering from their gunshot wounds three weeks later. On a show with a ton of shootouts, I thought that was a nice bit of realism because in fact, it does take a long time to recover from a gunshot wound. Sometimes you don't get better at all, as Johnny Crowder can confirm. Raylan couldn't shoot in an early scene, except that later, he did just fine. Ava had trouble cooking using one hand, but then she whacked Devil in the face with a cast iron skillet. And ouch. Don't ever underestimate Ava, Devil.

I have no idea where they're going with the Bennett pot or Tennessee Beard Guy, or how Boyd is going to run the Harlan County underworld from a jail cell. We shall see. I hope Boyd doesn't end up working for the Dixie Mafia.

Bits and pieces:

-- The cast and credits are exactly the same as last season. Yay. The action took place directly after the season two finale, and three weeks later.

-- Poor pizza delivery guy. He died so that later on we'd think it could happen to Winona. And actually, I do believe that any character on this show could get killed. Except for Raylan, of course.

-- Did Gary Hawkins leave the country like he was told? I doubt it somehow. I bet he gets dead this season.

-- Desmond Harrington, who played Fletcher Nix (great name), plays an incompetent detective on Dexter. He has some acting range, doesn't he?

Quotes:

Art: "Did you try lefty?"
Raylan: "So I could shoot the side of a barn?"
Art: "All right, we'll try one more week of medical restriction, and then I'll issue you some hand grenades."

Art: "Only thing that saved you is all that body fat you got going on there."
Raylan: "I'm starting to feel uncomfortable."
Art: "Why? We're alone."

Raylan: "Did you do something you shouldn't have?"
Boyd: "Well, that's a pretty low bar, Raylan."

Boyd: "If I found that kind of money, I'd be in Mexico by now."
Raylan: "Boyd, I been to Mexico. I don't think you'd like it."
Boyd: "How so?"
Raylan: "There's a lot of Mexicans."
Boyd: "Raylan, if a book could only be judged by its cover, you'd be a best seller."
I bet that was a sideways reference to Elmore Leonard's new novel Raylan, which was released the same day this episode aired.

Duffy: "Raylan, I am sorry, I would like to be of more help, but I got to get back to watching women's tennis."

Nix: "I like the hat. Not much call for cowboys these days."
Raylan: "You would be surprised."

Raylan: "You ain't gonna let me do anything, are you?"
Art: "Well, you can't run and you can't shoot. What good are you?"
Raylan: "Well, I could be the guy on the radio telling people what to do."
Art: "That's my job, asshole."

Ava: "My fried chicken is to die for."
A creative, deadly double entendre.

Winona: "I could choose... Jiffy Pop. Or Palmolive. That's a good one."
Raylan: "Jiffy Pop."
Winona: "Jiffy Pop."
Raylan: "Jiffy Pop for a boy. Palmolive is obviously a girl's name."
They also discussed "Felix."

I'm leaning toward three out of four cast iron skillets. What did y'all think?

Billie

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Lost Girl: It's a Fae, Fae, Fae, Fae World

“You're pretty. I saw you eat some dude's face, it was amazing.”

Lost Girl is a Canadian fantasy series that aired way back in 2010 and is now airing in the US for the very first time on Syfy.

It's all about Bo, a succubus who grew up with an adopted human family, unaware of her non-human nature or the Fae world. After she saves a human girl, Kenzi, from being date raped, Bo is confronted by the Fae elders with having to choose a the two main Fae factions, the Light or the Dark. Instead, Bo gives them both the finger and declares herself neutral.

Before I start, I feel that I should point out that I'm currently onto season two, so I'm going to try my best to keep this review completely spoiler free. Lost Girl is my current guilty pleasure, only I'm starting to get over the whole guilty part. First time I watched it, I thought it was just completely ridiculous, a slightly trashy mixture of everything from Buffy to True Blood, with some questionable acting, corney dialogue and special effects that can't help having that cheap, made in Canada look.

But, and this is a big one, I liked Bo and Kenzi (especially Kenzi). Bo might not be Buffy Summers, but Anna Silk still makes for a engaging leading lady. Granted, I'm probably unashamedly biased on this one since I go weak at the knees every time she smiles. And Ksenia Solo just steals the whole show as Kenzi. Oh, Kenzi. You wig wearing, wisecracking, runaway Russian kleptomaniac, you. They are exactly what a show like this needs: fun, likeable characters you care about and want to spend time with, no matter how absurd things get. Now, compare this with show like, say, Alcatraz, where the characters are so lifeless that if they stood still for too long you would easily start mistaking them for furniture. If given a choice between the two, I'll go with the cheesy, low-budget Canadian show about the bisexual succubus and her human BFF every time.

Despite its faults, Lost Girl is a fun show that knows not to take itself too seriously. It isn't out to break new ground or reinvent genre television as we know it. This is a show that is content with what it is. Lost Girl will not be to everyone's tastes, but I thoroughly recommend it. ... Read full post

Sherlock: The Reichenbach Fall

Moriarty: “Every fairytale needs a good old fashioned villain.”

After “The Blind Banker” and “The Curse of the Black Spot”, I was less than optimistic about Steve Thompson's chances of scripting a gripping finale. Yet, as soon as I saw Watson struggling to cope with his grief in that psychiatrist's chair, I knew I was going to love this episode. Not only did Thompson create an intriguing and ultimately compelling season conclusion, he also managed to achieve the impossible... he made me love Moriarty. Which is some achievement considering the frosty reception I gave him last season.

This seems to have been something of a Marmite episode. A friend texted me ten minutes before the end to inform me she’d lost interest, yet, I found it utterly absorbing. I thought Andrew Scott was superb. His versatility was astounding. He switched from madman, to simpleton, to brooding genius, with perfect fluidity. The looks he kept throwing Sherlock when no one was looking were chilling. I’m not sure whose decision it was to tone down Scott's high-pitched histrionics, but it was the making of his character. Moriarty was easily the weakest link of "The Great Game". Tonight, he almost stole the show.

It's just a pity he had to die. By Moriarty's own admission, Holmes is nothing without him. That’s if he is dead. If a master detective can fall from a roof into a crowded street and survive, then a master criminal can shoot himself through the head and live. (Although Scott's recent interview on RTÉ seems to suggest he's done with the character.) Moriarty’s final action was a fascinating act of hatred and defiance. So overpowering was his need to win, so desperate his desire to transcend the mundane, that he was willing to forfeit his life. Luckily, Sherlock was several steps ahead -- but, even the great detective himself couldn't have predicted the lengths Moriarty was prepared to go.

How did Sherlock escape death? I think we can safely assume with Molly's help. Watson didn't actually see Holmes hit the ground. We did, though whether he hit the pavement directly, or first rolled off some kind of strategically placed safety net (possibly the conveniently parked wagon full of bulging refuse sacks), I'm not sure. And what part did the solitary cyclist play in the deception? (You see what I did?) Why were John's ears ringing and his speech slurred? Was it simply a side effect of being knocked down (presumably to buy time to stage the illusion), or did the cyclist somehow manage to administer some kind of mild toxin à la last week's Baskerville gas?

How he managed to fake having no pulse, I’m not altogether sure. Molly's medical expertise? And let's not forget the little girl. Why did she scream when she saw Sherlock? Was Moriarty wearing some kind of Sherlock mask? It must have been awfully convincing close up. Could Sherlock have jumped to safety, substituted his own body with a cadaver (courtesy of Molly), and had Molly (or one of his homeless network) dress it in a Sherlock mask and coat? There would be a delightful symmetry in Sherlock defeating Moriarty using his own methods. It would also explain the lack of pulse. Sherlock could even have been the guy on the bicycle. Both his face and hair were suspiciously out of focus.

I initially assumed Sherlock’s tears atop St Bart’s were all just part of the act -- but John was too far away to see them. And Sherlock certainly wasn’t mourning his own mortality. He had absolutely no intention of dying. Was it a reaction to seeing his career and hard earned reputation going up in smoke? Or was the prospect of simultaneously losing John, Molly, Mrs Hudson and Lestrade, simply too much to bear? If the latter, that definitively answers the question as to whether Sherlock feels anything for his companions. In the end, he chose his friends over his reputation. He's obviously not as detached from his feelings as he thinks. John's refusal to believe the worst of him seemed to provoke a profound emotional response within.

Sherlock's behavioural similarities with Molly's father probably explains why she feels so drawn to him. It's obviously nothing to do with his charm, tact, or his superior grasp of social etiquette. I found Sherlock's kind words to Molly utterly charming. He may not be able to give her what she wants, but he was finally able to give her what she deserves. His respect. Tonight, she was the key to Sherlock's survival; which I thought was a lovely pay-off. Moriarty thought he knew Sherlock’s weakness – his friends. But he made the fatal mistake of underestimating Molly’s importance. Hardly surprising, considering the way Sherlock treats her. Yet, Molly does count. She's one of the few people who can read him. In fact, her analysis of him in the lab was startlingly accurate. It even flummoxed Sherlock.

Sherlock's inability to understand social interaction always makes me smile. He looked utterly baffled as to why gratitude would be the correct response to such useless gifts. (Not to be confused with useless gits.) And Martin Freeman was magnificent as the ever loyal Watson. Him struggling to maintain a stiff upper lip, whilst visibly crumbling inside, was worth a thousand tears. But Watson's already had his miracle. Sherlock lives! Thank you Steve Thompson for sparing us from what could have been a cruel cliffhanger. And thank you for confounding expectation. You did yourself proud.

Following the season finale, both Moffat and Gatiss Tweeted in unison that a third season has already been commissioned. So I guess we got our miracle, too. Let's hope we don't have to wait another 18 months to see it.

Bits and Pieces:

-- Mycroft reads The Sun? That's somehow more shocking than his betrayal of Holmes.

-- I don't remember the storytellers on Jackanory being quite so mental.

-- I liked how Watson, even after Sherlock's death, still wouldn't believe his story. Like Molly, Watson knows what kind of man he is.

-- The hat’s back! Or was. Holmes later took it home and tried to punch the shit out of it.

-- It made sense that Moriarty/Sherlock's final confrontation would be a psychological tussle as opposed to a physical one.

-- Holmes' fall from the top of St Bart's was reminiscent of the falling scene from Granada TV's adaptation of "The Final Problem".

-- I loved those scenes of Moriarty in 221B Bakers Street. Him poking fun at Holmes' violin playing, before choosing the chair he didn't offer, all contributed to the atmosphere of needle.

Quotes:

Watson: “My best friend, Sherlock Holmes, is dead.”

Holmes: “First mistake. James Moriarty isn’t a man at all. He’s a spider. A spider at the centre of a web. A criminal web with a thousand threads and he knows precisely how every single one of them dances.”

Moriarty: “You need me, or you’re nothing. Because we’re just alike, you and I. Except you’re boring. You’re on the side of the angels.”

Moriarty: “How hard to do you find it, having to say I don’t know?”
Sherlock: “I don’t know.”

Holmes: “Brilliant, Anderson.”
Anderson: “Really?”
Holmes: “Yes. Brilliant impression of an idiot.”

Molly: “Alkaline.”
Holmes: “Thank you, John.”
Molly: “Molly.”
Holmes: “Yes.”

Molly: "You’re a bit like my dad. He’s dead."

Watson: “I know you for real”
Holmes: “One hundred percent.”
Watson: “Nobody could fake being such an annoying dick all the time.”

Holmes: “You’re wrong, you know. You do count. You’ve always counted and I’ve always trusted you. But you were right. I’m not okay. Molly, I think I’m going to die."
Molly: "What do you need?"
Holmes: "I wasn’t everything that you think I am. Everything that I think I am. But you still want to help me."
Molly: "What do you need?"
Holmes: "You."

Holmes: "Alone is what I have. Alone protects me."
Watson: "No, friends protect people."

Moriarty: “All my life I’ve been searching for distractions. And you were the best distraction, and now I don’t even have you because I’ve beaten you. And you know what? In the end, it was easy. It was easy. Now I’ve got to go back to playing with the ordinary people, because it turns out you’re ordinary – just like them.”

Moriarty: "I love newspapers. Fairytales. And grim ones too."

Holmes: "I may be on the side of the angels; but don’t think for one second that I am one of them."

Holmes: "Nobody could be that clever."
Watson: "You could."

Holmes: "Goodbye, John."

Watson: "No one will ever convince me that you told me a lie. I was so alone, and I owe you so much."

Watson: "There’s just one more thing. One more thing. One more miracle, Sherlock – for me -- don’t be dead. Would you do..? Just for me? Just stop it... stop this!”

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Alcatraz: Pilot/Ernest Cobb

“That’s not what happened.”

The latest offering from J.J. Abram’s production company, Bad Robot, Alcatraz tells the tale of federal agent Emerson Hauser (Sam Neill), SFPD detective Rebecca Madsen (Sarah Jones), and Dr. Diego Soto (Hurley!) as they attempt to piece together what happened nearly 40 years ago, when all the residents and guards at Alcatraz disappeared—and why they’re coming back.


J.D. and I both wanted to review this premiere, and I offered to fight him for it. I got in some impressive roundhouse kicks, but J.D. took me down with a Vulcan nerve pinch. Once I woke up, we shook hands and agreed to do a dual review:

J.D.’s Take

There were some things I really liked about this two hour premiere, and some things that really didn't work for me. First off I like the cast. They are all good actors that are easy to empathize with. However, I think the very young and extremely cute female lead lacks the gravitas to pull off the tough-girl detective shtick. Jorge Garcia, who is easy to buy as a comic book nerd/genius historian, feels a little shoehorned in. He is literally dragged along and brought into the group as almost an afterthought. I do like the chemistry between him and Sarah Jones. It felt almost romantic, and if they went in that direction I would be thrilled. [Josie's comment: Me, too!]

Then there was Sam Neill and Parminder Nagra (as Lucy). I really like both actors, but beyond that personal favoritism I didn't really like either of their characters. Both are definitely intriguing, but other than that basic interest, they could be written out and I wouldn't really care. So what did I like? I think the idea of the mystery is cool, unless it becomes a cop procedural with time travel elements. I like the tone of the series, with the overlapping story set in two different time periods. I like the setting, and the inherent creepiness that surrounds it. The atmosphere and history of Alcatraz makes this plot work, and the obvious location shooting really elevates the entire production.

But overall I think this is just too familiar, and too J.J. if that makes sense. It was as if he was going down a checklist. Once he fulfilled his requisite details, then he came up with the meat of the idea. There is the beautiful yet strong heroine, check. The enigmatic older guy, check. The slightly odd yet brilliant sidekick or buddy, check. An unexplained mystery/conspiracy involving something vaguely supernatural, check. Now none of those are exactly detractors. In fact those are things I generally like about his ideas. But I am starting to wonder if maybe he is running out of steam.


Josie’s Take

Two episodes in, it’s safe to say that Alcatraz offers up mild thrills and milder mysteries. The pilot episode focused primarily on establishing the rules of the game: disappearance in ’63, reemergence in 2012, plucky heroes banding together, reemerged heroes stashed in underground lair, etc. Hauser is the mysterious fed who knows more than he says; Rebecca Madsen is loyal to those she loves and a good detective to boot, and Dr. Soto (Hurley!) has not one but two PhDs and has written four books on Alcatraz. He also owns what appears to be a Geek Store. They sell gaming supplies, comic books, and probably very few condoms.

“Ernest Cobb” gives us a glimpse of what to expect each week: a procedural “find the past-his-expiration-date baddie!” combined with driblets of mythology. So far, our questions are: Why did Hauser build a bat-cave under Alcatraz? (And how did he do so? It is a rock in the middle of the bay.) What is Rebecca’s connection to the returnees given her grandfather’s status? How does Robert Forester fit into all this? What’s up with the creepy Prisoner/Initiative prison in the woods?

It’s not, in other words, a life-changing, Lost-caliber premiere. But nonetheless I like it. Sam Neill is always fun, particularly when ambiguously evil. Sarah Jones impressed me in her work on Justified last season, and she has a nice combination of seriousness, sexiness, and innocence.

Above all, I adore Jorge Garcia. He was great on Lost and judging from his blog, he seems like a genuinely wonderful guy, too: smart, caring, and devoted to his girlfriend and pets. He even bakes! His character here is smarter than Hurley, and a bit less fun-loving, but just as fun to watch. As in Lost, he acts as something of a mouthpiece for all of our inner geeks, uttering lines like “I’ll bet you have a neat origin story.”

At the recent TCA press tour, J.J. Abrams (who seems to be mostly a figurehead for his TV shows these days) said Alcatraz wouldn’t be as “impenetrable” as Lost or Alias. However, he made the same claim about Fringe when it premiered, and that show now has me drawing diagrams. (In a good way.) Alcatraz’s potential depends, for me, on not trusting Abrams. Complexity, time travel, and impenetrability are all good things, and Alcatraz should be able to deliver what we really want. We’ll just have to wait and see if that’s what happens.

Bits and Pieces…of Rock?

• My family went to San Francisco quite a bit when I was young, and I’ve taken the Alcatraz tour at least four times. Once, my little brother got lost in the wacky maze of cells. There is nothing more boring for a teenage girl than to watch her mother panic about an annoying little brother lost in the one place in the entire world in which the phrase “he can’t have gone far” is actually true.

• My little brother turned out fine, by the way.

• Hurley’s wardrobe is awesome. You should watch “Ernest Cobb” just for the cool waistcoat and green velvet blazer.

• The pilot filmed over a year ago, and now shooting is taking place in, you guessed it, Vancouver. I will never stop considering this to be an utter failure of my state to support one of its only remaining industries.

• I wanted to call this section “Pebbles” but worried the joke would utterly fail.

J.D.’s Final Analysis: Alcatraz has the potential to be really original and really engaging, but I would only give this pilot 2.5 mug shots.

Josie’s Final Analysis: Yeah, that sounds about right. Duck!
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